3 Simple Strategies to Enhance Sexual Pleasure

Quick finish? No shame in that. But if it’s distressing, you can take control. Get curious, experiment, and finish on your terms.

Having a quick drawer reflex during sex doesn’t have to be a downer. Some men intentionally come quickly and enjoy the ride, while others (or their partners) find it distressing. Many of us have been taught that ejaculation = the end of sexy time… but where did that idea even come from? Why does coming have to mean the fun is over? Most importantly, men shouldn’t be shamed for their V12 engine.

That said, if rapid ejaculation is bothering you, you’re not alone. It happens to 20-30% of men worldwide—and for men with chronic pelvic pain syndrome (aka “chronic prostatitis”), that number jumps to 26-77%.

But here’s the thing: rapid ejaculation is only a problem if it’s distressing. If it’s affecting you, your partner, or your relationships, know that you can increase your time before ejaculation and finish when you want.

Unfortunately, men don’t get a lot of encouragement to explore their own pleasure with curiosity. Instead, there’s a ton of social pressure and stigma around what male sexual performance “should” look like.

If you struggle with ejaculating before you want, get curious and experiment with how you touch yourself.

Try switching up stroke styles, pressure, intensity, friction, or lubricant—but pause and shift before things get to spicy . Once you feel calm, start touching yourself again. Move away from the penis-centric touch and venture off to explore other areas of your body for sensual play.

When you’re ready to ejaculate on your own terms, finish when you want.

Take the pressure off reaching a specific sexual goal and focus on discovering what you actually enjoy.