Chapter 47 | So Confused

The dining facility was steeped in silence, broken only by the muted clatter of utensils and the low scrape of trays sliding across metal tables. The usual chatter had faded. Recruits sat hunched over their meals, shoulders sagging, eyes glazed with fatigue.

Steam rose from untouched food, the smell of lunch mingling with sweat and dust. No one had the energy to speak. They ate slowly, or simply stared at their plates.

"Ugh... that was tiring," Nyra said, setting down her utensil with a clatter as her shoulders slumped.

"Sorry, I was not able to protect Damon," Mason said with a guilty tone and head down.

"Don't worry about it, big guy." Nyra patted his shoulder with surprising gentleness. "There was not much we can do and what's wrong with you?"

The two looked across the table at Leon who had his brows crunched in concentration.

"Hello? Eden to Leon. Any one home?" Nyra waved her hand in front of Leon.

"Huh? Oh, was just thinking of something." Leon said.

"We can see that, but what were you think about?" Nyra asked.

"Jake," Leon said.

"Did you think you were going to win? Don't beat yourself up, he was raised for these stuff," Nyra said as she stabbed her chicken and took a bite.

"No its not that. I didn't think it was weird to lose, but it was after. He stood there, held his hand out, and helped me up," Leon told them, his voice tinged with confusion. "Was it pity?"

"Oh ya, I saw that," Mason said rubbing his chin.

"What did he say?" Nyra asked.

"Nothing. He just walked away without saying anything," Leon answered, running a hand through his hair. The gesture bothered him more than the defeat itself. An unexpected moment of... respect? Mockery? He couldn't figure it out.

"I think you are overthinking it. He probably woke up feeling a little less douche today," Nyra shrugged and went back to eating.

"Maybe," Leon muttered then shook his head and started eating.

After lunch the recruits were back in the auditorium. They still wore their armor, with their helmets in front of them on the table. The instructors went over the combat exercise they had completed in the morning.

A hologram with a bird's eye view of the open field and markers for each combatant was displayed in front of them. Instructor Zell went over each vora's positioning, what they did wrong, what they did right, and what could have improved.

Then the leaders were pulled to the side for a one on one counseling with each of the instructors.

"Recruit Ezra, you made a good call engaging the probing vora at that moment. Coordination with Recruit Rae's was on point and reaction to evolving situation was satisfactory, but—" Instructor Zell said, glancing between the datapad and Leon's eyes. "With the exception at the end, what made you think it was a good idea for you and Recruit Saar to engage a new vora? The enemy Vora One no less."

"Sir, errrr, I was not sure sir," Leon said fidgeting in his seat.

He never received a true feedback before. At his previous job, it was either you are doing good and no one says anything or you are did something bad, get threated or receive a demerit on your file.

"You are not sure? Explain," Instructor Zell responded, his tone neutral but his eyes sharp.

"Sir, I don't remember the details, but…" Leon paused to think before continuing to answer. "after I helped Recruit Saar eliminate the enemy that was carrying a sword, my body and mind seemed to just moved on their own and I ordered Recruit Saar to engage with me."

"Hmmmm..." Instructor Zell contemplated on what Leon had said and typed at his datapad.

Leon assumed the instructor was recording and making notes of their conversation, but he could not tell what the instructor was putting in his file which made him more anxious.

"Let's try this," the instructor looked back at Leon. "What do you feel before you engaged the probing vora and what did you feel after?"

What does that have to do with anything?

Leon took a minute to collect his thoughts and proceeded to answer the odd question he was asked.

"Sir, before and actually while my vora engaged the probing vora, everything seemed to slow and my mind became clear. It was a weird feeling, like everything was calm and distance, but after…" Leon paused for a second again trying to remember.

What did I feel? Was it excitement? If I say that, does that make me crazy?

"Sir, I felt like I did when I was at the obstacle course," he finally answered. "It's hard to explain, but it's like everything gets drowned out and I—I just focus on one thing."

"And what is that one thing you focus on?" Instructor Zell asked with a brow raised, his stylus hovering above the datapad.

Beating everyone else and winning.

"I—I don't know, Sir. I think it's just whatever is in front of me." He answered while swallowing the lump in his throat, knowing he wasn't being entirely truthful.

The instructor nodded and made some notes on his file. His expression revealed nothing, but Leon thought he detected a flicker of interest.

"Try not to get tunnel vision. It is easy for fresh boots to fall into that habit. Keep working on it and you should see improvement. You are dismissed." Instructor Zell said without looking back up at Leon and continued to fiddle with the datapad.

Leon got up, saluted, turned around, and walked out of the office deep in thought.

"How did it go?" Mason asked when he got back to his seat.

"Better than I thought it would have," Leon answered, then looked around. "Where's Nyra?"

"She's getting her feedback, after leads, the instructors started calling everyone else," Mason responded. "I just got mine done. The leads seemed to take longer than ours."

"Oh, how did yours go?" Leon asked.

Mason looked down and squirmed in his seat before answering.

"They said I did good, but if I want to rank higher I need to work on my leadership skills."

Leon nodded at Mason's response.

"Oh, sorry I forgot, thank you trying to stand up for me and sticking with me," Leon said.

"That's what friends do and besides you were the lead, my Dad said chain of command must be followed," Mason said off handed.

"Your dad is in the Imperial Army?" Leon asked.

Mason stiffened when asked but relaxed a moment later.

"Ya, my family has been in the Imperial Army for generations and my Dad is a High Marshal. The highest rank someone in our family has gotten." Mason said with differing emotions.

He seemed shy and timid at the beginning, as if he was nervous. But a look of pride flashed in his eyes when he mentioned his Dad's rank.

"Your Dad is a High Marshal?" Nyra jumped in without them noticing her.

They turned their heads to look at her making her way between the rows to sit next to Leon.

"Yeah he is," Mason said nodding.

What is she thinking? Leon thought. He saw her make the face she did when she was concentrating or deep in her thoughts. He noticed she bit her lip before responding back to Mason.

"Oh, and you are fine hanging out with us?" she said, her tone carrying an edge that hadn't been there before.

"Why wouldn't I?" Mason looked genuinely confused.

"Uh, did you forget? Because he was Nullari," she pointed at Leon, and then to herself, "and I was Ordari."

"But—but you are both Fulgari now, and rank higher in training than I do," Mason asked, his brows crunching in confusion.

Nyra looked at Leon who seemed to want him to explain it more to Mason, but he just shrugged and changed the topic.

"How did your feedback session go?" He asked Nyra.

Nyra narrowed her eyes at him in an annoyed fashion, aware of his deflection.

"It was fine," she said and sat down without saying anything further, her posture stiff with unspoken tension.

This time it was Mason who felt awkward and changed the subject to their favorite topic: Food. Leon caught on to what Mason was doing and went along with it, focusing enthusiastically on grilled meat.

"NO! Why are guys idiots? It's not all about the meat. Veggies is the star that makes a meal complete. If it's just bunch of meat you are nothing more than a caveman..." Nyra's voice rose with passionate indignation.

She couldn't continue ignoring their unsophisticated taste and had to put her foot down to defend vegetables. Her eyes lit up with the familiar fire that came whenever food was discussed.

Even though she's wrong, at least she is not mad anymore... but why was she mad? Leon wondered, smiling as his two friends bickered, the earlier tension dissolving into familiar routine.

The group of friends continued to debate on food for a few minutes until all the recruits had completed their feedback.

"Stay seated, eyes front," Instructor Zell ordered when he walked into the room. "I'll be brief. Phase 2 is complete, we are diving right into Phase 3 tomorrow morning. Get your gear cleaned up and ready. You are dismissed for the rest of the day."