Stephen King: hey remember when led zeppelin did that song about Gollum stealing bilbo's girlfriend?
JRR Tolkien: what
King: yeah you know
King: ramble on
Tolkien: WHAT
King: [singing] "ramble on"
King: "And now's the time, the time is now
King: "To sing my song"
King: ...
Frank Herbert: i'm going to tell a story about this space cocaine that lets you do super hard math and its made of worm poop, inshallah
JRR Tolkien:
Tolkien: i hate this
Tolkien: i hate this so much
Stephen King: why do you hate dune so much?
Tolkien: isn't it obvious?
Dean K...
Jamie Lee Curtis: hello midnight society
King: jamie lee curtis! oh wow!
King: i loved you in Shelley Duvall's Tall Tales & Legends
Curtis: oh yeah i was in that
Curtis: sorry that's not usually what people recognize me from
King: why? what else have you been in?
Curti...
Matt Blairstone: i'm matt blairstone of tenebrous press
Blairstone: publisher of such quality literature as split scream
Blairstone: featuring bitter karella's The Ballad of Horse Girl
Blairstone: available where ever fine books are sold
King: sorry, what was that name agai...
Octavia Butler: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the parable of the sower
Butler: the parable of the tale of the sower
Butler: the tale of the sower
Butler: boy that's really not working
Butler: for this story, i think it's time to look t...
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy stephano king
King: what is it now elon
Musk: eyyyy you mean el supreme generalissimo Musk esq
Musk: grand high director of da us department of very funny memes
Musk: i slasha da gover...
2024-11-18 18:39:34 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of
Elon Musk: [emerging from bushes] eyyy Stephano king
King: well well well if it isn't the president's wife
King: zing!
King: hahaha
King: get it guys, guess he likes trump so much
Bar...
Edward Lucas White: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the lukundoo
White: ok so imagine this
White: an explorer in darkest Africa falls victim to a witch doctor's curse
King: oh boy this sounds like it might be a little bit yikes
White: buddy,...
Harry Turtledove: greetings citizens of earth 16
Poe: hi harry
King: hi harry
Koontz: hi
Lovecraft: hello
Barker: hey
Turtledove: i hope that the timeline hasn't been irrevocably altered during my uneventful absence
Turtledove: i'm back from my secret mission on behalf of ...
2024-11-11 17:00:15 +0000 UTC View PostKing: hey guys sorry i'm late
King: i just could not get up this morning
King: feels like I've been sleeping for days
King: what did i miss?
King: how did the election go?
Lovecraft: not too bad
King:
King: oh no
King: oh no oh no oh no
Lovecraft: don't worry...
2024-11-09 17:17:53 +0000 UTC View PostRay Aldridge: submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the hyena eyes
Aldridge: have you ever thought how scary i would be if your boyfriend just spent all day on FurryMUCK
Aldridge: in the future, you can get a skein implant that allows you to be furry...
2024-10-31 17:13:54 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: submitted for the approval of the m
Elon Musk: [emerging from bushes in full SS uniform] eyyy stephano king
Musk: you lika my new outfit?
King: what?? No!!!
King: i don't!
King: i don't like it at all!
King: elon are you a nazi?
Musk: no no ima not a na...
Alan Moore: [appearing in a clap of thunder] BEHOLD!
King: the arch magus!
Barker: the arch magus!
Poe: the arch magus!
Lovecraft: the arch magus!
Koontz: the grand nagus!
Poe: no dean
Poe: that's not right
Poe: that's star trek
Moore: and that is exactly what ...
Chuck Tingle: hello chums it's me chuck tingle, totally normal guy
Tingle: tonight i have a totally normal story for you
King: oh boy! a real tingler! i can't wait!
King: i bet it's real whacky and off the wall!
Tingle: haha not at all chum
Tingle: it's actually quite normal and re...
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: boy it's been sso trying lately
Rowling: the british government keepss trying to give me a peerage
Rowling: but i keep telling them 'look, i'm too busy with the transsphobia to wasste time cutting ribbonss at sshopping mallss'
Rowling: i have my...
Ray Palmer: listen midnight society i got a crazy story you gotta hear!
Palmer: i found this guy, Richard shaver
Palmer: he's got a story you wouldn't believe
Palmer: but every word of it is the god's honest truth!
Palmer: if i'm lying, may lightening strike me down!
Palmer: go ...
2024-10-21 18:06:49 +0000 UTC View PostMichael Allen Rose: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, Michael allen rose presents the tale of jurassichrist by Michael allen rose, read by Michael allen rose, performed by Michael allen rose, with special denouement by Michael allen rose
Rose: musical accompaniment by Michael...
AM Shine: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Pals, I call this tale the return of the fairies
Shine: In our last episode, our heroine had just escaped the forest where the evil fairies lived
Shine: but turns out
Shine: the evil fairies aren't just in the forest
Shine: now they...
[at terfcon 2024]
Helen Joyce: good morning to all my fellow terfs
Joyce: welcome to terfon '24
Joyce: as a reminder, please don't take off your JK Rowling masks outside of the headless lounge
Joyce: and no drinking before wine o'clock!
Joyce: and the hotel has asked us not to p...
2024-10-12 18:18:40 +0000 UTC View PostWilliam W Johnstone: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the devil's cat
Johnstone: don't like it? don't worry
Johnstone: in the time that it took you to read that sentence, i just wrote 8 new books
Johnstone: and some of them are about COWBOYS!
2024-10-10 18:02:01 +0000 UTC
View Post
[at unicorn fuck club]
Jim Henson: hi ho jim the Henson here
Henson: tonight I've got a fantasy story i think you'll really enjoy
Henson: it's about a planet inhabited entirely by puppets
Henson: [flailing arms wildly] yaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!
Henson: on a distant planet, the dark cry...
2024-10-09 17:42:31 +0000 UTC View PostHR Giger: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this the tale of the mystery of San Gottardo
Giger: einmal war das die dinsbum dass war armen und beinen die biomachaniker kartofelsalat
Giger: es gibt Zwei versciedene autobahn volkwagen pfarphegnugen
Giger: untermesse...
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i am born again! hallelujah!
Rowling: tell me
Rowling: have you heard
Rowling: the good word about biology?
Poe: what
Poe: what is this now?
Rowling: on the Scottish census, i answered that my religion is "biology"
Poe: ...
BIG NEWS! Season 2 of the Midnight Pals podcast is coming soon, so enjoy a little October season preview with a little mini-episode where the Pals meet Candyman in... The Tale of the Candyman! 🍭🍬
Laird Barron: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of more dark
Barron: it's about this reclusive horror writer called Tom L
Barron: no wait that's too obvious
Barron: let's just call him T Ligotti
Barron: anyway, this horror writer, Tom L, ev...
2024-10-01 19:12:21 +0000 UTC View Post[at unicorn fuck club]
Brandon Sanderson: boy, i love being a fantasy writer!
Sanderson: and the best part of being a fantasy writer?
Sanderson: it's talking about wizards!
Terry Goodkind: wizards? did you say wizards??
Goodkind: i LOVE talking about wizards!
Sanderson: me...
Stephen King: submitted for the
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] heeey stephano king!
Musk: i justa wanta you to know
Musk: i did notta have an affair witha the prime minister offa italy, Signora Topogigio Primavera!
Musk: me anna signora primavera
Musk: we did notta haffa ro...
Stephen King: check it out guys!
King: they're publishing a book of essays about Carrie!
King: we got richard chizmar, bentley little, mick garris, norman prentiss, tom deady, Anthony Breznican
Angela Carter: are there any women involved in this
King: oh yeah of course of course <...
JK Rowling: i don't need you lot!
Rowling: i don't need any of you!
Rowling: i'm gonna go over to sspace coven to tell my new sstory!
Barker: yeah have fun with that
Rowling: I will!!
Barker: they're all a bunch of nerds over there!
Poe: now clive that's not very fair
Barker:...