Zach Cregger: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the weapons
Cregger: it's just out in theaters!
Cregger: so if you care about spoilers maybe stop reading
Cregger: i mean, seriously
Cregger: don't get mad at me
Cregger: i'm not even the...
TL Bodine: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight society, I call this the tale of children in peril
Stephen Gresham: no!
John Saul: YES!
Saul: i love stories with reckless child endangerment!
Barker: yeah that's true
Barker: hard to think of anyone who likes them more
Po...
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i jussst found out that there exissstsss a transss sssalesss assssociate in a department ssstore
Rowling: apparently ssselling brasss
Rowling: i'm real mad about thisss
Rowling: i heard that thisss tran...
2025-08-06 18:31:54 +0000 UTC View PostAdam Nevill: so these metalheads are all, like, whoa, if we summon a demon, we'll go down in history as the greatest metal band of all time
Stephen King: whoa! what an idea!
King: do you think that would work for the rock bottom remainders?
Nevill: it's worth a shot
Poe: no it's n...
Adam Nevill: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the ritual
King: oh man we love that movie!
Nevill: yeah well the novel's a little different
King: as long as it's still got that cool creature design!
Poe: yeah we love that creature...
Alyson Greaves: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of dorley hall
Greaves: and welcome to it
Greaves: it's this university dorm where they force fem you
Greaves: they take the worst, shittiest dudes
Greaves: and turn them into the best, nicest ...
Angela Carter: see, the way it works is you take an existing myth or legend
King: uh huh
Carter: and then you add the 3 Rs
Carter: you REimagine
Carter: REcontextualize
Carter: and REinvent
King: and this works for any myth or legend?
Carter: any myth or legend!
Carter:...
2025-07-29 19:04:08 +0000 UTC View Post[mysterious campfire of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Rowling: i have a new tasssk for you
Rowling: and thisss isss one that even a gaggle of buffoonsss like you can accomplish
Rowling: i'm looking at you allisssson
Allison Bailey: [sweating, clutching briefcas...
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the mid
Elon Musk: [emerging from bushes] eyyyyyy stephano king
Clive Barker: hey look it's stephen's friend
King: for the last time, clive, we aren't
King: sighhh
King: fine
King: elon what do you want this time
Musk: eyyyy i disru...
HP Lovecraft: what if you you saw a cosmic horror and it made you go crazy
August Derleth: what if you saw a cosmic horror and HP Lovecraft wrote it
Robert W Chambers: what if you saw a really off-putting shade of yellow
Stephen King: what if you saw a cosmic horror and it was a...
2025-07-24 18:18:07 +0000 UTC View PostCraig DiLouie: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the children of red peak
Guillermo del Toro: ah! you mean
DiLouie: no
DiLouie: no i don't mean
DiLouie: people keep making that mistake but i don't mean
DiLouie: this is a story about thre...
2025-07-23 16:08:17 +0000 UTC View PostMichael Griffin: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of being far from streets
Griffin: it's about this couple who build a nice relaxing vacation house
Griffin: deep in the forest primeval
Barker: oh shit yeah that's where you do it ha ha
Gri...
2025-07-22 17:00:16 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: george i hear you're gonna direct my creepshow movie
George Romero: yup
King: do you think
King: do you think i could be in it?
Romero:
King: see, i've always wanted to be on the screen
Romero:
Romero: have you ever acted before?
King: as a matter o...
Stephen King: guys, i have an announcement
King: the epstein file is real
King: so is the tooth fairy and santa claus
Poe:
Barker:
Koontz:
Lovecraft:
Barker: uhhhh is there something we should know about
Barker: did you mean to tweet that steve
Barker: on you...
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyyy stephano king
Musk: check it out, i maka an anime girlfriend
Musk: do you haffa an anime girlfriend stephano king?
King: i sleep in a big bed with my wi...
Uketsu: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the strange house
Uketsu: i invite you all to look at the floor plan of this house
Uketsu: and try to figure out for yourself
Uketsu: what's so strange about it
Uketsu: one of these things is not...
2025-07-15 17:07:55 +0000 UTC View Post[space coven]
Eric James Stone: submitted for the approval of space coven, I call this the tale of the swales
Stone: you might even call it
Stone: a swale of a tale
Stone: ha ha ha
Stone: so there's a race of impossibly ancient, impossibly gigantic beings made of pure plasma dis...
2025-07-14 17:41:45 +0000 UTC View PostJohn Langan: you're telling me EVERYONE has a skeleton inside?
Poe: that's right
Langan:
Langan: i don't get it
David Niall Wilson: edgar, let me try
Wilson: i think i can explain it
Langan: so you're sayin that everyone has a skeleton inside?
Wilson: that's right
Langa...
John Langan: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of Mr Gaunt
Langan: so there's this guy who has a weird butler named Mr. Gaunt
Langan: and the thing about Mr. Gaunt is that he's really
Langan: hmm
Langan: well, how can i describe him?
Lang...
Stephen King: submitted for the approval of the
Elon Musk: [rising from bushes] eyyyy stephano king
Koontz: oh! it's elon! elon's back!
King:
Koontz: elon's back, steve!
King: yes dean i
Koontz: he's right there!
King:
King: thank you dean i know
Elon Musk: eyyyy ste...
2025-07-09 16:33:57 +0000 UTC View PostKing: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the clown that lived in the sewers
Dan Simmons: i've had enough of you and your wokescold cultural marxist oppression
King:
Simmons: help help i'm being oppressed by your wokescold cultural marxist oppre...
Alan Moore: [appears in a clap of thunder] Behold! The Arch Magus!
Poe: The arch magus!
King: the arch magus!
Barker: the arch magus!
Koontz: the arch magus!
Lovecraft: the arch magus!
Moore: today i bring you a chilling vision of the future!
Koontz: oh boy! a vision...
Garth Ennis: now i've got a real SHOCKING story for ya
Ennis: but this ain't your dad's horror story
Ennis: don't try to hold me back! i'm a mad man!
Ennis: i don't care whose toes I step on!
Ennis: razor sharp, that's what my satirical wit is!
Barker: alright man
Barker: you...
Judith Sonnet: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of psych ward blues
Sonnet: it's about what if god was an insane monster who hates his creation
Dean Koontz: nuh uh that's not true, god is nice
Sonnet:
Poe: dean, let her finish
Sonnet: it's...
2025-07-01 20:14:01 +0000 UTC View PostKing: i'm so tired of elon musk always trying to be my friend
King: i can't tell you how tired i am of all the sycophants and hangers-on
Richard Chizmar: i know, right?
Chizmar: not like us, right, steve?
Chizmar: we're best buddies, right, steve?
King: that's right, richard, ...
JK Rowling: i was jusst thinking, maybe we should ssecretly photograph women in public bathroomss
Rowling: you know, in casse they're transss
Stephen Fry: so um
Fry: i don't think we should be friends anymore
Rowling: omg that came out of nowhere
Rowling: you can't do unfriend m...
2025-06-25 19:18:15 +0000 UTC View PostStephen King: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the dark tower
King: and here's the crazy thing, guys
King: i'm telling this story
King: but i'm also IN this story
Barker: holy shit steve
Barker: you just blew my motherfuckin mind
[mysterious circle of robed figures]
JK Rowling: hello children
Allison Bailey: dark lord, dark lord, help me!
Bailey: the vet told me my dog is TOO FAT
Rowling: my god
Rowling: i can't believe they would attack your gender critical beliefs like that
Bailey: that's exactly...
Bitter Karella: [carrying bindle sack] siiigh
Karella: ahem
Karella: AHEM
Poe: oh sorry what's going on?
Poe: what's with the bindle sack?
Karella: oh THIS bindle sack? this one right here?
Karella: funny you should ask
Karella: last week was my birthday
Karella: and no...
Edward Lee: ok bro
Lee: trust me you're gonna have so much fun
Jordan Shiveley: i bet it won't be as much fun as the v o i d consuming my flesh
Lee: naw naw i's gonna be lit [shoves cassette tape in slot,'Baby Don't Hurt Me' starts playing]
Lee: bro just look at this club
Lee: s...