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THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, April 14th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : We salute more heroes during the COVID-19 crisis! (helpmakemasks.org) Relive Ralph's punishing defeat on the 1993 TV game show, "Scrabble"! And, we pay tribute to the theme song of a TV show that only lasted SIX EPISODES on TV TUNES TUESDAY!

2020-04-14 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post

Mystery MUNCHIN' MONDAY!

On today's MUNCHIN' MONDAY, we feed Eddie a "MYSTERY FOOD" to see if he can overcome his prejudices and enjoy a new taste treat!

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THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, April 13th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT, it's time for "Holiday or Holi-nay"! Ziggy still sucks! Olivia reviews TROLLS: WORLD TOUR! And, on today's MUNCHIN' MONDAY, we feed Eddie a "MYSTERY FOOD" to see if he can overcome his prejudices and enjoy a new taste treat!

2020-04-13 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post

THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, April 10th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Steve Ashton checks in from the UK! The downside of being a ZOMBIE! We open the TRR VIDEO VAULT with more recommendations for "quarantine viewing"! And, a goodbye to legendary MAD Magazine artist, MORT DRUCKER! 

2020-04-10 12:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post

THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, April 9th, 2020

On today's #TheRalphReport : The Thursday SEX U. class: Is the quarantine going to create a new batch of SELF-LOVE ADDICTS?! The return of our UK UPDATE with @steveashton! And, a doctor in Germany has the answer to our problems ... BOOZE!

2020-04-09 12:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post

Ralph Garman's VIRTUAL COCKTAIL PARTY!

I hate to drink alone!

(Well, I don't hate it, but, I don't like it ... I mean, I do it, but, it's not like it's my favorite or anything ...) 

So, during this time when we're all quarantined, I'm throwing a self-isolated, socially distant, VIRTUA...

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THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, April 8th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : A classic ONE-HOT WONDER from the 1970's! A Garmy member is a hero of the COVID-19 crisis in West Virginia!  And, the return of PIKOTARO that someone (?) wanted!

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Still struggling with RSS feed?

Some folks are having a hard time locating their private RSS feed.

Try this:

You'll also find your RSS link on The Ralph Report's Patreon page located in the My membership section. 

In that section, you'll ...

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THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, April 7th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Happy National Beer Day! We blow up some COVID-19 villains! Why is The Flash choking people out?! Goodbye to Pussy Galore! And, what's happening on this TV TUESDAY TUESDAY?!

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How to get and use your RSS feed!

Hi guys!

It seems that lately a number of folks who listen to the show on a podcast player app other than Patreon's have had issues with their RSS feeds for The Ralph Report.

This happens from time to time, (especially with the iTunes player), where a podcast player will drop an RSS f...

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Munchin' Monday: WHOOPIE PIES VS. MOON PIES!

On #TheRalphReport this MUNCHIN' MONDAY, it's a no-holds-barred snackin' smackdown! 

What's better? WHOOPIE PIES or MOON PIES?!

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THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, April 6th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Let Eddie Pence kick off your week with a musical performance! Heroes and villains of the COVID-19 pandemic! And, on this MUNCHIN' MONDAY, it's a no-holds-barred snack battle! ... 

WHOOPIE PIES vs. MOON PIES!

2020-04-06 12:01:02 +0000 UTC View Post

THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, April 3rd, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Some good news for America's food pantries and the "food insecure"! (Artists formerly known as "hungry".) We open the VIDEO VAULT for more helpful "quarantine viewing" suggestions! And, can Ralph overcome a "self-isolation challenge" of tragic proportions?! 

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FRIDAY HAPPY HOUR with Ralph!

Well, we're stuck at home, so let's have a cocktail party!

All we need is you, me and some ice!

Join me Friday at 3pm (Pacific Time) for a LIVE STREAM event to kick off the weekend!

Turn on your camera when you watch, so I can share your pretty face with the Garmy!

LMB! View Post

THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, April 2nd, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Who in the U.S. is entitled to COVID-19 stimulus money? More of that "singing superstar", Eddie Pence! And, 10 TIPS on how to keep your SEX LIFE alive if you're quarantined away from your partner!

2020-04-02 12:00:06 +0000 UTC View Post

THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, April 1st, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : We tell you what "the word" is on this ONE-HIT WONDER WEDNESDAY! (And, no, it's NOT "bird".)   For the first time, the TRR CITIZEN OF THE WEEK is an entire U.S. STATE!  And, some important talk about getting mental health help, if you need it, during t...

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THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, March 31st, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : We leap into the past on this TV TUNES TUESDAY! The culinary version of RUSSIAN ROULETTE! And, our musical tribute to Myrtle Beach, SC, home of "Doc" Artle from TIGER KING!

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THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, March 30th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : Kari drops by and joins the fun! CARDI B. is the Tiger King's biggest fan! We enjoy the perfect song for these troubling times! And, more of EDDIE'S DRUNK THOUGHTS!

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Full Garmy LIVESTREAM EVENT this Sunday, March 29th!

Think you're self-quarantining ALONE? ... WRONG!

You're not alone ... You're in the GARMY!

And, we're all gonna gather together on Sunday, March 29th at 1pm (US pacific time) and help each other through this insanity!

Usually, the LIVESTREAM events are reserved for the 3 & 4...

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THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, March 27th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : BRITNEY SPEARS is the world's FASTEST human! Hey douchebags, STOP LICKING THINGS! Another UK UPDATE with Steve Ashton! And, need something to watch while you're stuck at home? We're here to help, with our new segment ... the TRR VIDEO VAULT!

2020-03-27 12:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post

THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 26th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT : The TRR "Citizen of the Week"! DOCTOR WHO saves us again! More of EDDIE'S DRUNK THOUGHTS! And: Stuck in the house during quarantine? SEX U. presents the household items people are using as SEX TOYS!

2020-03-26 12:00:00 +0000 UTC View Post

GARMY SUPPORT Discord link!

Wanna join in the conversation with other Garmy members on the Discord app?

Here's the link!

discord.gg/J9hjsUs 


(Special thanks to Stacy and Bobby for starting this!)

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THE RALPH REPORT for Wednesday, March 25th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: How to BARTER during quarantine! Day three of 'EDDIE SINGS' week! Today's ONE HIT-WONDER might make you wanna buy a car! And, the WORLD'S LARGEST BANANA SPLIT!


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THE RALPH REPORT for Tuesday, March 24th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Eddie Pence sings again! This TV TUNES TUESDAY is "perfect"! Cocktails during quarantine: We talk about day-drinking and hangovers! And, HAPPY CHEESE STEAK DAY!


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ASIA's "Heat of the Moment" acoustic version

Way back in 2006, I got my meet two of my musical favorites, John Wetton and Geoffrey Downes from ASIA.

They stopped by the morning radio show I was working at to promote an upcoming gig and had heard what a huge fan I was.

They performed an acoustic version of "Heat of the Moment" on...

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THE RALPH REPORT for Monday, March 23rd, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: More of the musical stylings of Mr. Eddie Pence! How to talk to your kids about what's going on! And, designing a schedule for your self-quarantined BINGE WATCHING!

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MERCH MADNESS - Round Five!

Help us pick the next graphic to be featured on TRR merch!

(Which will be available with the rest here:  https://theralphreport.com/merchandise )

Scroll down and pick your fave of these two:

"DIP...

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GARMY LIVESTREAM EVENT!

Hey all GARMY members!
Don't self-quarantine by yourself! 
Let's reduce the "distance" in our "social"!
Usually, our monthly LIVESTREAM events are just for the 3 and 4 STAR generals, but, in order to bring us together in these crazy times, we're opening up t...

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THE RALPH REPORT for Friday, March 20th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: NEW MOVIES you can watch while you're self- quarantined! Another UK UPDATE with Steve Ashton! And, on the upside, Captain Kirk is TWEETING!


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THE RALPH REPORT for Thursday, March 19th, 2020

On today's THE RALPH REPORT: Is QAnon is nuts! (Trick question. Yes, they are.) CARDI B. wants that "coin", yo! And, today's SEX U. class: "HOOKING UP in the time of the coronavirus!"


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