[REND] 15.3 - Besties Together, Strong

Moving with punctured innards during the Adumbrae attack was one thing. The drive to survive—hey, that rhymed—plus the adrenaline rush would also allow others to do what I had done. Stories about surviving the craziest situations were plentiful. Might even consider it hysterical strength. Having experienced it before could be why I had an easy time achieving hysterical strength now.

But I was certain that other people couldn’t do what I did when I returned to my condo after escaping the train station. I didn’t hesitate digging out the crystal on my palm with a knife. Yeah, I had super regeneration, but I doubted other people would stab and scoop their flesh just like that.

“Uh, maybe this is the effect of the Core,” I said. “A hint of what my power’s going to be?” I didn’t believe that explanation. Even before all this power nonsense, I processed pain differently than the average person.

When cheerleading in high school, I had a nasty fall because the dumb bitch Janiza was distracted by her boyfriend on the stands while we were practicing a pyramid. I fell from the top of the stack, tried to break my fall with an outstretched arm, and ended up with a severely dislocated shoulder. I was so focused on stopping myself from strangling Janiza that I forgot about the pain. I didn’t cry or anything. Just stood up and walked to the side.

“Ye-yeah, that might be it,” Deen said, averting her gaze. She added in a quieter voice, “Your arm… looking like that…”

She thought I wasn’t normal; I could see it in her eyes, thanks to our best friend connection. She could even be afraid of me. I chuckled to lighten things. “I’m not like a psycho or anything who can just ignore pain.”

“I didn’t say that you were.” She hesitantly chuckled along. “This is might be congenital insensitivity to pain, Erind. C.I.P.”

“I haven’t heard of that before.”

“It’s a thing. And it’s usually a genetic disorder, not psychological.” Deen quickly nodded as if to convince herself, not me. “So no, you are definitely not a psycho.”

You’re thinking it, though. I didn’t know much about psychopaths, but I knew of women who willingly injured themselves, sometimes severely, to frame guys for this or that shit. I looked it up when I was dangerously close to doing it myself.

During my undergrad days, a guy pissed me off so bad. He was useless in a project that accounted for a huge chunk of our grade in a major subject; I had to complete his part, staying up for several nights to finish it. I seriously contemplated framing him as a violent stalker to punish him.

Fortunately, I didn’t go through with it. Congratulations, me! Meaning, I wasn’t a psychopath.

I settled with anonymously reporting the guy for cheating—I had to fabricate evidence—and that was the end of that. Trying to get him arrested would’ve entailed being questioned by the police, and that was too much hassle for me.

Still, it was fascinating to know that some people could simply choose to ignore pain. I didn’t want those people as my enemies. They were willing to do anything to win.

“But you were scary,” Deen said. Her forced chuckle came a couple of seconds late. “A bit.”

“Were you scared of me?”

“I-I was. Put yourself in my position,” she said with a defensive tone. “You were punching with your hand basically gone. There was blood everywhere. And… and you’ve destroyed the columns. Like, just demolished them. To be honest, I was about to run away screaming.”

“Well, I’m glad you stayed and stopped me.” What would’ve happened if Deen left? I probably would’ve stopped once I lost my entire forearm. I doubted I’d continue punching with my left hand next because it wasn’t my dominant hand. The awkwardness would’ve jogged my brain.

“I won’t abandon you, even if I thought the artificial Core malfunctioned and affected your brain.”

“Nothing of the sort happened. I just got too much into it. I suppose that’s the trick to hysterical strength.”

“Probably,” Deen said with a frown. “But… we should stop doing this… this training.”

I raised a brow at her. “Why? It’s going to make us stronger to—”  

“I know that. But is it worth it? I don’t think so. Breaking psychological barriers is going to affect us mentally—it’s in the name! It’s absurd that we’re punching until we break our fingers! This is why I didn’t want to do this.”

“Okay, okay. Calm down.” I couldn’t let Deen think I was unhinged. It’d make it harder to reveal the crystal on my palm. She’d assume something was wrong with my Core and report it to Dario in worry. I couldn’t even out myself as an Adumbrae now! She’d think that I was becoming more of a monster, ignoring pain and stuff.

Was I…? Was Spooky Erind having a laugh right now?

“My hand’s almost healed,” I said, shooing away the thoughts. Ignoring problems was something I was proficient at, and I sometimes considered adding it to my resume. “We can switch to—”

“No!” Deen grabbed my shoulder. “Don’t say we’ll practice throwing instead. We’re done now. Change out of your bloody clothes and we’ll return to campus.” She stood up and gestured in the direction of her car.

I raised a finger. “We’ll go after we clean this place.”

Deen blinked. “Clean?” She looked around.

“We’re not going to fix the destroyed columns,” I said. “Unless I suddenly sprout powers of spewing cement out of my hands or something. But help me pick up any bits of flesh you can see, if that’s not too gross for you.”

“It’s no-not… I'm… I'll be fine, don't worry. I'll manage.” Either she didn’t think of the mess we left behind or she didn’t want to think about it. A possible point to me for being more aware than Deen. I was transforming into the uncatchable criminal.

I tore off the bottom half of my shirt. It was covered in dirt mixed with blood anyway. I divided it into two and gave her one part. Then I picked up the smashed bits of my fingers on the ground and tucked them in the piece of cloth.

“What if we collapsed this building too?” Deen asked as she followed my lead. “We can’t find every piece of you here, and the blood will be there to stay. Both yours and mine.”

“I’m not sure of the correct choice. Destroying the building would bury everything, the columns and blood. But it might be too suspicious for two buildings to be destroyed around these parts. If Ramello’s uncle were to look around New Hope and see the ruins, he’d have more reason to think something sketchy was going on.”

“We have to take care of Sgt. Hall,” Deen quietly said while gathering clumps of my flesh. Was that supposed to be a silent thought, or did she expect me to respond to that?

I decided to be the less bloodthirsty best friend and chose to ignore her. “We’ll just leave this problem for now. Very low chance for anyone to check this specific building out of every place here. And we don’t have time to bring this place down, anyway.”

“But what about your DNA in the blood?”

“It’ll degrade fast. This place is open. Wind and sunlight can enter. A few weeks, and we’re probably safe. Forensics can still take DNA samples from the dried blood, but it won’t be enough for profiling.”

“Wow, you’ve done your homework,” Deen said.

Not really, I thought. I knew about it from true crime documentaries. Technology has certainly progressed since then, but there was no way someone would enter this building, find the blood, and report it to the authorities. Even if they did, what would the DNA tests show?

“I’ve just thought of something,” I said. “Our DNA… What does it look like? Still human or not anymore?”

Deen had that pained expression she usually wore when reminded she was no longer human. “It won’t be human DNA, I imagine. Which also meant it won’t match our DNA on any database right now. But we can’t donate blood or be medically examined ever. This is going to be difficult.”

“Not for you. That said, a bright side is that my eyesight has been mostly fixed, just as Everett predicted.”

“Really? That’s good news!”

I removed my fake glasses and crushed them. Very dramatic. “I don’t need this anymore. Just strains my eyes and makes my head hurt. Although I’ll have to buy fake glasses so that our classmates wouldn’t think anything’s wrong, we can pass by Sanders Mall later. I’ve thought of telling everyone I’m switching contacts, but someone might notice that I’m not wearing any.” There. Now I had the perfect excuse for using fake glasses. I didn’t want to ditch them because they were part of my law school face.

Returning to the car, I stripped down to my underwear while in the backseat. I brought an extra change of clothes, expecting I’d get dirty. But not this dirty. I’d just burn my bloodied clothes. Who knew that being a nonhuman would cost so much? I’d need to ask Mom for more allowance.

“I know we’re both girls,” Deen said, looking over from the driver’s seat, “but I’m surprised that you have no hesitation undressing.”

“What are you getting at? I can’t be confident because I don’t have a body as hot as yours?” I grinned at her to show I was just messing with her.

Deen exasperatedly exhaled. “I wasn’t knocking you down. It was supposed to be a compliment of your confidence.”

“Uh, thanks, I guess.” The truth was that I didn’t really care about being ashamed and stuff like that. Shyness? The hell was that? I was about to put on my shirt when Deen stopped me.

“Wait! Let me look at your Core,” she said, leaning in between the driver’s and passenger’s seat to reach for my chest. I didn’t stop her because I didn’t have a good reason either. She touched the sparkling, opaline Core. “So pretty…”

“Want to exchange Cores?” I leaned away, pulling my shirt over my head and down my body to cover my artificial Core. I did it nonchalantly so she wouldn’t suspect I was hiding anything. Didn’t want her to get a closer look. “I think your golden Core is more beautiful,” I added to divert her attention.

“Do you think so? I’m growing fond of it.”

“Good,” I said, pulling up my pants and slipping on my sandals. “We’re stuck with them for the foreseeable future. I’m done, let me through.” I climbed to the passenger’s seat.

“Foreseeable future…” Deen wistfully said as she started the engine. “Have you… have you felt the connection that Dario mentioned? The connection between Cores?”

“Erm, I think so?” I haven’t. I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. “I’m not sure if what I’m feeling is our friendship or the Core doing its thing.”

The car lurched forward and climbed onto the unpaved road. “I felt Myra’s sadness and anger when she told us about her past,” Deen said. “Didn’t you?”

“I’m not sure… Maybe my Core’s not attached to your network thingy because my powers haven’t fully manifested yet?”

“That’s probably the reason. This connection will help discern the intentions of Dario and the others. I suppose there isn’t much to guess about their plans for us. They want more test subjects and help in fighting the 2Ms. They aren’t hiding it, but trying to gaslight us into thinking it was our idea.”

“This connection thingy is more of a liability than an asset,” I said. “They might feel that we’re not feeling particularly loyal to the group.”

“We have to test it,” Deen said. “Once you get your power.”

I don’t know if I’ll have this connection! I complained in my head. This might be a problem.

One at a time. I’d deal with it when it becomes apparent.

We passed by House of Bread on our way to Eloyce. Deen bought me a strawberry custard croissant, fulfilling her promise. Only a single fucking one. I thought she’d buy me a box so I’d have snacks while studying. I wanted to buy more, but that might offend her, and she’d also think I was being a pig.

“Would we get diabetes when eating too many sweets?” I asked while munching on the flaky croissant.  

“Are you thinking that our super regeneration will prevent diabetes? Don’t tell me that you’re planning to eat a box of croissants?”

“If possible, yeah,” I said, laughing so she’d think I was joking. I’d just eat a box in secret so she wouldn’t bother me.

But how the hell did Deen know I wanted to get a box? Is my Core transmitting my… feelings? I didn't have particular feelings. Urges, maybe? It’d be a problem if, or rather when, I’d have my… unnatural urges. I hoped that wasn’t the case, or I'd have to kill my best friend.

My sudden urge to kill rose, but Deen didn’t flinch. Probably a lucky guess then.

I didn’t get called for recitation during my afternoon class—I counted this as a sign that today was a good day. Deen and I were heading to the parking lot behind Cresthorne when we met Myra waiting by her car next to ours. My day might be ruined just yet.

Myra handed us a box of cookies. I was about to shower her with gratitude when she told us that the box was just a disguise. Inside were pills from the Professor. Talk about disappointment of the highest order.

“These will hasten your melding,” Myra said. “Take them once a day with water. They’re just like regular pills. Will also lessen the pains, if you’re still feeling some.”

“Will this help Erind get her powers faster?” Deen asked. She was more invested in it than I was.

Myra shrugged. “Dunno. Supposed to, yeah. I’m just repeating what Dario told us. I think it had an effect on me.”

“Should we try this?” Deen asked after Myra left. “They could have other effects, like making us compliant. Mind control pills?”

I was surprised that Deen wasn’t forcing the pills down my throat. I thought she was eager for me to get my special ability so she wouldn’t feel alone. Even if Deen was game to take the pills, I wouldn’t have agreed because I wanted to check the effect of our training on the growths on my hand.

“Yeah, we can’t trust them,” I said. “Do they have a way of checking if we took the pills or not?”

“We’ll wait and find out. We can miss taking the pills the first time. There are plenty of excuses available.”

“I guess. Shall we go home?

Deen flashed me an impish grin. Alarms blared in my head. She had an evil plan. “Home? Not yet. We’re going shopping first. Didn’t we make plans for that?”

My day was ruined.