[GUtW]—❈—37:: The Nope Jutsu

Enjoy the chapter. 

Enjoy the chapter.

—❈—

Rarely, by which I mean once or twice in the week I've had them, the collection of otherworldly knowledge and experiences that I've termed "Caleb's Memories" seem to exhibit some level of awareness.

Almost sentience.

Merely an echo of it, of course, incapable, I think, of original thought or even proper speech, but more than capable of having opinions on certain matters; like the matter of me and my team deciding to join The Chūnin Exams.

Caleb's memories opinion of our (but mine specifically) decision can be summed up in a single word; idiotic. In that he thinks I'm an idiot for agreeing to go to The Chūnin Exams when I know what happens during it in the story.

But, the fact is, this isn't the story. Over and over again, despite the similarities between the two, that has been abundantly proven.

I don't know how he came to have the knowledge he did, but Kishimoto's work is a warped, I'm tempted to say, mockery, of my life that was more interested in telling a typical shounen story than actually portraying my world to the people of his.

It's the only reason he would have had someone like Naruto be the protagonist in the first place.

Also the only reason he would have included the changes that he did…

Well, that, or whatever knowledge he got to write his story was incomplete, and he simply filled in the blanks himself…

Actually, there's also the likely possibility that his editors had a hand in many of the changes in the final work, and he didn't have much of a say on the matter.

Huh.

Whatever, I'm getting off topic, the point is, whatever the story says, and whatever it may get right, my life differs in many significant ways, and that's why I strongly believe that The Leaf isn't going to get invaded during The Chūnin Exams, mostly because The Chūnin Exams won't be held in The Leaf.

True it's being hosted by The Leaf, but it won't be held here, it'll be held in the capital of The Land of Fire as it always is; Phoenix Palace City.

There will be no droves of foreign ninja pouring into The Hidden Leaf and making security a nightmare; no, they'll all be headed for Phoenix Palace City instead, a city of 1.5 million people with a police force that has almost five times the number of The Leaf's entire forces.

And while there is a notable dip in quality between a chakra-unabled enforcer and even an Academy student, quantity is still a quality all its own, especially when said quantity is supported by ANBU, as they will undoubtedly be.

Now, this definitely won't stop Orochimaru, if he is after me, but honestly, eventualities like that are why Kakashi is my jōnin-sensei in the first place.

Besides, if The Leaf were to ever get invaded by an enemy army then we would already have lost, because getting here requires that you first push through thousands of miles of Fire territory.

Meaning that we've had several opportunities to attack and still failed to keep the enemy from reaching our walls.

That's how The Hidden Whirlpool fell; the world amassed against a single village, with only us left as its ally.

In the end, we had to choose whether to continue hemorrhaging resources to keep an ally on its last legs from falling, or to cut our losses and protect ourselves.

While I've been lost in my thoughts, my teammates have been conversing, nothing important, mind, mostly just Naruto drooling about how awesome he'll be now that he'll finally be learning cool jutsu.

The talk of what 'trump cards' they'll be learning from Kakashi sparks a realization within me that pulls me from my thoughts; I don't know what Kakashi plans to teach me.

"What about me?" I ask without preamble, interrupting Naruto's fantasizing about how awesome he'll be after he learns The Wind Scythe Storm and how he'll blow away everybody else at The Chūnin Exams. "You're teaching Naruto an A-rank wind jutsu, and you're teaching Sakura The Fourth Hokage's signature attack. What will you teach me?"

"Sensei," Naruto says, leaning in conspiratorially, "don't waste your time on Sasuke, I don't think he has the talent to learn anything important in two weeks."

Sakura smacked the blonde upside the head, but not even the meaty twack! of her hand making contact with his skull wipes the grin from his idiot face.

"Well, for you, my surly pupil," Kakashi says with a smile, "I have something special. Naruto, shoot a jutsu at me."

Without question, without hesitation, and with barely any thought, Naruto flashes through a series of handsigns and launches a Wind Scythe right at Kakashi, the blade of wind flying vertically at the jōnin.

Sakura shrieks in horror, and even my eyes widen in shock.

But like most of the jutsu we tried to use on him during our little 'bell spar' some days ago, Naruto's Wind Scythe simply unravels into a somewhat forceful gust of air right before it hits Kakashi.

Kakashi turns his lone eye on Naruto, who looks far too innocent after what he just pulled.

"Seriously?" the jōnin asks. "No hesitation at all? And you had to go for the most letal jutsu you know?"

"What?" Naruto asks. "You told me to shoot a jutsu at you; I was just obeying a command from a superior officer."

"Of course you were," Kakashi mutters. "Anyway," he says, focusing back on me, "you might recognize what I did just now; that's The Jutsu Negation Technique, also known as The Nope Jutsu. It's an invention of yours truly, and it's what I'll be teaching you."

—❈—

Sorry for the short chapter. We should see again by Monday.

Thanks for reading.