Chapter 100

=============Trigger Warning: Domestic Assault=============

It was only a few days after Vegas. Firestorm’s private funeral had been the day before, the public ceremony sending him and the other heroes who fought in Vegas off had been that morning. Chunhua remembered only bits of it, her mind was still elsewhere, still on those little moments during the fight. She’d tried to focus, she really had, grief was such a complicated thing. All she wanted was to figure out where it had all gone wrong, how she could make it up to them, to him. She’d only distantly heard of him before then, met him at the palace, shook his hand and spoke a few words.

Sonya had said a few words. She’d listened to the heartache, to the passion, to the drive to see the world become a better place. She couldn’t figure it out. She couldn’t rationalize it. Her mind told her that she was wrong, but her heart told her that she needed to confront her. She needed to know, she needed to hear those words from her lips. That was why she was standing there at ASTA headquarters, right in front of the metal doors that lead into the CEOs offices. She clenched her fists and swallowed before tapping the button to open them.

Handmaiden looked up from her desk and made eye contact.

“Is she in?” Chunhua asked.

“She is, you can go inside,” Handmaiden said with a slight nod.

“Thanks,” Chunhua said and walked past her. She glanced down at the woman as she passed, there were signs that Handmaiden had been crying recently. Her hands were trembling. The woman looked up and met her gaze but said nothing. Chunhua nodded to her as the doors to Sonya’s office opened. She stepped inside and heard them hiss shut behind her. Ahead of her, Sonya was sitting at her desk, staring at a screen with a small frown on her lips. She looked tired, withdrawn, weary. “We’re alone,” She said aloud.

“We are,” Sonya said, not looking up at her.

“You’ve soundproofed this room,” Chunhua said.

“I have,” Sonya replied, her mechanical eyes flicking up to look at Chunhua. 

There it was again, that hint of softness, of vulnerability, How could this person possibly be Ishtar? Chunhua bit her lip, “I have a question.”

“I figured,” Sonya said with a small smile and leaned back in her seat. “Let’s hear it.”

Chunhua stepped forward, “Are you Ishtar?”

“I am,” Sonya said without missing a beat, she didn’t blink, she didn’t flinch, she didn’t even shrug. She simply stared back at Chunhua with all the frankness of someone who had named off their favorite color. 

Chunhua felt her chest tighten even as something else boiled up inside of her. Confusion. Anger. Fury. She bore her teeth, “Are you fucking with me?” She demanded.

“No,” Sonya said, “I am Ishtar. The creator of villains. I orchestrated Hero Day. I manipulated Feng Hyunh into suppressing An Set’s personality until he broke. I am at fault for Vegas, and for Firestorm’s death, ultimately,” Sonya confessed. She left her hands in her lap, her eyes unblinking as she looked straight into Chunhua’s. 

Chunhua stepped back, reeling as if she’d been punched. She felt sick. Horrified. This was the person that everyone called the Voice of the Hero Movement? She ran her fingers through her hair, her chest heaving as she paced left and right. “Wh- why? Why are you just answering like that?” Chunhua demanded, “What could possibly possess you to-”

“No one will believe you,” Sonya said flatly, a sad smile on her face. “No one. After everything I’ve done in the public eye, it would be easier to bring down a mountain with a spoon.”

Chunhua didn’t miss that smile, she stormed forward and slammed her fist into Sonya’s desk, “Why? Why do all of this? I don’t understand!” Chunha demanded, “How could you? Firestorm trusted you until the end!” She gripped at her own chest, “I believed everything you said!”

“As you should, don’t you remember? I’m incapable of lying,” Sonya said with a sigh, “My ability makes me choke when I lie. I physically can’t. It’s just one of the prices I’m paying to get what I want. I also have a mild compulsion to respond immediately to direct questions, interesting,” She said, trying to look thoughtful, but it was there again. That tremble in her lips, Sonya’s fingers were shaking, her shoulders were too.

“What do you want?” Chunhua practically shouted, “What could you possibly want out of all of this- this- this evil!”

Sonya tilted her head and looked up into her face, “To save the world. To bring humanity into the future, even if it’s kicking and screaming.”

“From what?!” Chunhua demanded, “The monsters? I can handle them! Let me handle them!” She would do it, she would forget all about all of this if Sonya just let her do it. She’d done so much for the world already, Chunhua could bury this and forget about it if she just stuck to being Sonya and not that monster.

“That’s the plan,” Sonya said. “I’ll do the dirty work, you kill the monsters. Isn’t that convenient?”

Chunhua scowled, she wasn’t answering her at all, she was just saying things to derail the conversation, to move away from the point, “Stop messing around! Answer me clearly!” She shouted, grabbing the woman by the tie.

“No,” Sonya said, her voice going a bit steely.

Chunhua pulled back a bit, “What do you mean, ‘No’? I could be recording this, you know, you’ve already damned yourself.”

“You aren’t, I have technopathy, you didn’t even bring a phone in here,” Sonya said sadly, “You’re sweet.”

Chunhua pulled her hand away in disgust, “Why won’t you tell me?”

“I can’t answer that either,” Sonya said.

“Damn it Sonya! Make it make sense!” She roared, pulling the woman to her feet. She was a bit heavier than Chunhua had expected from her small frame, but still not an issue to lift. She pushed her up against the wall, “I could bring you in. I’ll figure it out.”

“I own Europe, half of congress, every gang in the country,” Sonya said, trying to look smug even as her body shook beneath Chunha’s hands.

“Then why are you shaking?” Chunhua pressed, getting in the woman’s face. “Why are you doing this? What’s the real reason?”

Sonya looked away, “Don’t push me anymore,” Sonya said, her voice small, “Please. Just go.”

“I can’t do that,” Chunhua said, “You are the worst criminal in the world, do you understand that? You triggered an incident that killed thousands of people. Firestorm. Other heroes. You nearly caused a dungeon break. They are going to pass laws about mythics fighting because of-” She froze, her eyes going wide. She felt a chill rush up her spine and she looked at Sonya’s face. Her eyes still turned away, her lips curled down in a shaky frown. “You wanted that? What the hell do you know?”

“...Chunhua please, just stop, you got what you wanted, just leave me alone, I didn’t want this conversation to play out like this,” Sonya pleaded, shrinking even more beneath Chunhua’s grip, “I can’t say anything else. You can’t know. It’ll ruin you and who you’re supposed to be.”

Ruin me? Chunhua grabbed onto the words, “Who am I supposed to be?” She shook Sonya, “Sonya I have to understand! I have to know! I need to know why you’re doing this!”

“Get off!” Sonya cried out and with a push shoved Chunhua across the room. Chunhua hit the wall and landed on the ground, dazed for a moment. She shook her head as Sonya brushed herself off, straightening her coat, she looked down at her hands before looking up at Chunhua with pain in her face. Something red leaked down from the plates around her eyes, “That’s enough, don’t ask me again, I’m begging you,” She croaked. “Just go away.”

Chunhua pushed herself to her feet, clenching her fists, “I will not! You need to tell me what the hell is going on! Can you see the future or something? Are all of your powers lies? What do I have to do with it?” She couldn’t let it go, not after so many died because of this woman’s schemes. She stormed forward, “Make me understand!” She repeated.

Sonya’s lips trembled as agony washed across her face, “Stop,” She begged.

“I won’t stop until I know! I’m a hero! I swore to protect the people of the world from people like you!” She roared, “And I’m going to do that by getting the truth out of you, right here, right now!”

Sonya’s expression went through a series of emotions, fear, sadness, grief, anger, then rage. More red streaks dripped down from her eyes and she pushed forward, looking Chunhua in the eyes. A flicker of fear and surprise leaped into Chunhua’s chest as she was pushed backwards. “You want to know that bad?” Sonya croaked, “You want to know so badly that you risk ruining everything? You want to know so badly that you’re willing to give anything up, is that it? Is that what you want, Lian Chunhua?” She demanded, bearing her teeth, “Say it.”

Chunhua searched her face, she’d never seen such palpable grief and rage even on a victim of a disaster. She didn’t falter though, “Yes.”

Sonya barked out a laugh, “Damn it,” She spat, “Give me your fucking hand.”

Without thinking, Chunhua held it out and Sonya snatched it up, “You will know, but you will never be able to tell anyone!” She snarled, “You will know, and until the day I say otherwise, you will never, ever, step into a room alone with me again! Do you hear me?” She snarled, her voice shaking. “AGREE!”

Chunhua’s mouth moved before her mind could catch up, her heart catching in her chest. “Yes,” It was barely a whisper, but then a charge raced up her arm.

“The deal is made,” Sonya snapped and grabbed Chunhua by her shirt, she looked her in the eyes, “You asked for this, don’t forget!” She bit out and pulled Chunhua down to her level. Their lips met, and Chunhua’s world became a sea of visions.

Chunhua saw the flash, she saw chaos, she saw the world right after that terrible day. It was different though. There was no ASTA Corporation, there was no Sonya, it was lawless for a while. She walked through a life she didn’t recognize, saw a dark haired young woman in a mirror with familiar mechanical eyes. She watched from afar as New York City exploded, fire and violence spreading as a dungeon erupted sending monsters far and wide. She watched through the young woman’s eyes as she picked up a knife to defend herself and a middle aged woman who had cared for her.

What?

Chunhua watched as the young woman struggled, marched through the debris with only her eyes as her tools. She watched her bleed and break, find others with powers, heal, rest, and go back to struggling. She watched the first heroes appear and evacuate those who had survived the dungeon break. She saw the young woman register as a scout, wanting nothing less than to help and support the heroes who saved her. She watched the woman monitor the ruins of New York. She saw… Me? But… Everything was wrong. Everything was different. It was a different life. She felt the young woman’s feelings, the immediate attraction, the playful banter. Those words, “I have a name, use it.”

I said it first?

She saw as the young woman was informed that she was assigned to Chunhua’s unit. The frustration over having her life controlled like that. Yet there was something else. She watched as she herself courted the young woman, visiting often, apologizing, teasing, talking, laughing. She watched the day she went into… Is that the Vegas Dungeon? She thought, I went in. She felt the young woman’s heartache, the realization of just how deeply she’d fallen in love. How much she just wanted to see Chunhua’s face again, safe and sound.

She saw her own face again, smiling, if a bit bruised and bloody. The young woman fretted over her while Chunhua just laughed. They kissed. They made love. They held one another. Everything felt like a dream after that. She watched herself rise higher and higher as a hero while the young woman stood at her side, never straying far, always there to support with everything she could give. They sparred, strategized, the young woman became an adept knife fighter, a talented scout, and…

“Sonya, will you marry me?” Chunhua watched herself get down on a knee.

“Yes!”

Make it stop.

The whirlwind romance grew even deeper. Chunhua fought harder. She went into epic dungeons. Heroic dungeons. The young woman would go in first, braver than any hero, she would map every inch out if only to make sure Chunhua got out safe and sound. She watched from afar as she went into danger again and again. The young woman always had faith, always believed, always held to the hero’s code. She stood when the dungeon pylons flashed. She taught the next generation of scouts. She grieved when her comrades died. She held Chunhua when hers did as well.

Please make it stop.

They were summoned, to a meeting of Mythics. She saw a man with blonde hair and blue eyes. He spoke pretty words that made Chunhua’s heart and guts twist. Evil words. No, the heroes will turn on eachother. If that many mythics fight then- War. War broke out. She watched as cities fell. She saw the moment when the young woman picked up her phone and saw that a safehouse filled with the loved ones of heroes was annihilated. She heard the young woman curse An Set and grieve in Chunhua’s arms. Marta’s dead?

The war got worse. Dungeons burst. Then she looked down at her own face. Pale with death.

I died.

“OTIS!” The name screamed into the sky with all the grief in the world, all the rage and hatred and agony of someone who had lost everything, their entire world, their heart, their mind, shattered. She watched the final moments of earth as the young woman wandered through the ruins, she saw her watch the man who had started it all die beneath her. She heard her own voice, smelled her own scent, then the box appeared.

“Let hope out, and try again.”

The day of the flash, a blind woman waking in a panic. Realization, determination, a new power at her fingertips. A goal. Stop it from ever happening. Prevent the heroes from turning on one another. Give everything for earth, throw it all away if it means stopping the apocalypse. Become hated, reviled, grieve alone. She watched as that young woman marched through the coming months. Building a new life, facing new challenges, raising new allies, scheming, plotting, committing acts that made her crack a little more each time. Yet she didn’t turn away, she didn’t stop. She experienced every thought, every consideration, every moment until she saw her own face again on the television and broke a little more inside. 

No more.

She saw herself at the Palace. The flirtation that sent agony through every fiber of her being. The playful words. She watched Feng Hyunh fall to her death and savored it. She watched that yong woman step out of the dungeon and put on that helmet. She fought herself, she knew every move, of course she did. She’d lived a life with her. Loved her. She knew Chunhua’s every tell, every trick, every move before she made it. She felt her heart break a little more each time. Yet she held onto the hope that Chunhua would become the hero she was meant to be. That she would be the one. I want you to do it, in the end, if it’s you, it’ll be okay.

A slap across her face brought her back to reality. She stumbled back and hit the ground, tears streaming out of her eyes as the office swam back into view. She felt sick. She looked up at Sonya, leaning against the table, only seconds had passed and that same rage-filled grief was still in her eyes. Her heart creaked at it, shame screaming in her mind. What could she possibly say?

“Sonya, I-”

“Get out.”

“Sonya, please.”

“GET OUT OF MY OFFICE!” Sonya roared, the table cracking and shattering beneath her grip, pieces clattering to the ground with a bang. “Just. Leave me. I don’t want to look at you,” She said and turned away.

Chunhua felt hollow as she got to her feet. For all the times she’d called herself a hero, it felt like a joke. She glanced back at the real hero one last time before she went to the door, it slid open with that same hiss that she barely heard. She stepped numbly into the merry atrium, the ASTA jingle playing above her and looked at Handmaiden, “Did you know?”

Handmaiden searched her haunted face before nodding. “She showed me after Vegas,” Handmaiden said, “I suggest you leave.”

Chunhua nodded, “Yeah,” She said softly, “I-” She started but her words fell before she could say anything. All she could think to do was walk away.