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DIRECTOR'S CUT: Psychology of a Hero: MATILDA

How do you turn a negative emotion or experience into a superpower?

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright react to Matilda and her journey through childhood trauma. Jonathan shares what Matilda does that leads her to a happier and healthier life and how she stands up for others who face similar hardship. They talk about the difference between standing up for yourself and retaliating… and why retaliation is much more fun in movies. And Alan explains why the narration and over-the-top physical acting work when they often don’t.

DIRECTOR'S CUT: Psychology of a Hero: MATILDA

Comments

I loved this movie so much, and, looking back, I can see why. My older (7 years) sister is a narcissist and was emotionally abusive to me more days than not until she moved out when I was 9. As a kid, I could not have explained why I identified so much with characters like Matilda, but. The signs were there. PLUS, I spent a holiday weekend catching, like, 137 newts, so. Not to flex or anything... What superpower did that trauma give me? The ability to mirror others. I match energies and ways of presenting in an uncomfortable way when I don't have the reigns on it. It makes sense; if I'm similar to my sister, that's safer, right? (Wrong, but that's because nothing was safe) But what has it helped me do really successfully? Therapy. I make sure I hold on to my core self and become the version of me that my clients might find most relatable, safe, or just familiar. I doubt they even realize it most of the time, and it isn't such a flip that my friends or family wouldn't recognize me, but the ease that I shift is...weird. It legit feels like the emotional version of Mystique, but...more subtle? I honestly think I could be the world's best actress, but we will NEVER KNOW because my stupid tiny hometown shut down the drama program just as I could have joined. Oh well!

Lilly Trammell

I freaking LOVE Matilda! It’s one of my family’s absolute favourites! Back when blockbusters were still a thing, we’d rent this movie at LEAST twice a month 🤣 We quote “much too good for children!” so many times……hahaha This entire cast is just so incredible. I adore Mara Wilson. And the MUSIC IN THIS MOVIE is so iconic. To this day “Send me on My Way” is still one of my favourite songs.

Meg W.

I love matilda. I believe it is because of what happened when I was so child and the fact that I have now got the strength to stand up for myself and others and I resonate with her in that respect. I won't always do it, but there are times when it needs to happen. Thank you for doing this episode.

Emily

I don't have kids and was too old for this movie (tho the perfect age for the book). But I really appreciate the discussion and your question to the audience. I grew up with abuse and neglect. Self-soothing is definitely something I had to learn very young and I use it all the time. Also empathy - I use it in my work as an activist. I know how to be a "diplomat" and how to better navigate the bullies I encounter as an adult. I am EXTREMELY difficult to manipulate, because I grew up with a master manipulator. I also appreciate the note about inner defiance being a way to stand up for yourself. It is a powerful survival tool!

Ze Villmark

What makes Danny DeVito one of the best is while they were filming the movie, Mara Wilson’s mother was battling cancer and it was dedicated to her. I believe it was also said they watched it before it was officially released and before her mom passed.

AlicetheNeko

Favourite childhood movie ❤️

Megan

Aww, I got a mention! Thanks!

Alex

I just recently watched Matilda I had no idea that is aunt Marge. Bullying abused wizards since 1996 :D I'd say in this case there is a bit of a difference between revenge and retribution. Matilda doesn't do it for herself but to bring Trenchbull to justice and to stop her from abusing others. I'd also say immediate retribution is sometimes neccessary to set boundaries. At highschool guy splashed water on me when I was reading book so I'd "grow up" (I'm pretty tall for hobbit though), so I filled watering pot, splashed some water on ground as he was running with his bagpack so he'd slip and then I just turned it upside down on him while he was lying on the floor. He never bothered me again.

BlackAdder

loved this movie growing up, it still makes me ugly cry. thx for taking my suggestion for Matilda :)))))) 🫶🏻

Julia Pearson

forever keeping the phrase “I will not accept input on my character from a Trunchbull” stapled to the wall of my brain

Julia Pearson

Matilda is such an important movie to me. As an autistic person, it is one of the absolute first special interest movies that I can remember having. It spoke to me in so many ways, and it really helped me through some tough times. I just got my first ever order from Lisa's Popcorn, so I am super excited to watch this and snack in a couple minutes!

Kambria

Well that got kind of dark at the end...

Larry Garfield

Yep that'd where I am as well

KrissyArtist

And they are sooo imaginative. Childhood is truly magical.

Sadie

Same. Home life was great and not great at the same time and school was awful. It took me over a decade after highschool to learn real self love. I still have negative self thoughts but they are easier to deal with.

Sadie

This was one of our most watched movies as a kid. My older sister called me dip face ALL THE TIME.

Sadie

My mom wanted to play a trick on her colleague & ended up making him believed their work place was hunted. She used to work at an hospital during the night. Only time she saw someone run in the air as they jump in fright. The guy is ok & know it was her.

OMG! I love this! Matilda is my heart character. I love the book, I love the movie, I enjoyed the musical (though it doesn't quite hold the same place in my heart), and I love this review! I'm especially thrilled to see the bonus episode! My birthday was last month and it feels almost like a late present. Lol

Tiana Horsey-Daydreamer

I definitely identified with Matilda growing up. Autistic girl growing up in an abusive home. I didn't have telekinesis but a lot of times nuerodivergence can feel like a super power. I definitely used books to escape my reality and found as many extracurricular activities I could do and get away from my family with. For me the thing I took from it all was a lot of compassion and anger. I went to law school to bring abusers to justice, but ended up burning out before I could get there. Now I kind of just help those close to me and try to actually take care of myself and not just other people.

Smeeson

This was class , I remember seeing this for the first time in the Cinema it was class then and it’s class now , I see myself a lot in Matilda I never had friends I felt like making friends was in what I did hobbies like Music , Books , I befriended animals very easily, Connection to humanity is still a weakness for me because I’ve spent so many years being a loner and I guess being hurt by people hasn’t helped my situation so I’ve ended up with trust issues I can’t get to close because I feel I’ll be hurt in the same way so I don’t connect to anyone anymore because I feel that way I can avoid being hurt , And I did once convince someone that there house was haunted , Psychology was so fun for me dealing with bullies 😂 this was class Jono & Alan looking forward to Villain Miss Trunchbull !! I appreciate the walkthrough on this Jono 🥹 Also a big Roald Dahl Fan I’ve actually got the book Roald Dahl’s Revolting Recipes Bruce Bogtrotter’s Cake Recipe is in the book there basically all food recipes from Roald Dahl’s famous books 😂😄☮️💚🪬🌙🌈⭐️👌

☮️🪬Sonar IllusionFox🪬☮️

Nice 😊 Thank you for the recommendations!

Jasmillio

I loved reading the book Matilda as a child, and this movie was amazing. Looking back, I emulated Matilda in the sense that I went and found humanity in books. 📖 It was an escape, but the books I read were usually people on their Hero’s Journey. I don’t think I connected that until now. Such a good episode with a great balance in me connecting the dots from my childhood to now, with comedy helping to levy the heavy moments in my memory. Thank you all on the Cinema Therapy team for this. Many previous therapists have asked me how I went from a child literally locked away for laughing with my sister after bedtime at the age of 4, to being brave enough to report my mom for child abuse at the age of 10, to joining and enlisting in the Marine Corps at 19 after personally witnessing 9/11 while growing up in NYC, and then retiring after 20 years. Reading, and later movies, was such an awesome escape; it’s so amazing to see that it was also trying to connect to the humanity in myself and others. I’ve been trying to reconcile that within myself recently, what’s a healthy balance in reading and movies vs numbing myself out with Netflix. Thanks for shining a light and helping me connect the dots for myself 🙏

Lisa C

For anyone who is interested in cognitive psychology, children who teach themselves how to read are actually using decoding skills (pattern recognition) that are different from the skills used to learn how to read with assistance. They also tend to struggle with pronunciation, because decoding is separate from phonics. The story of bright children having to teach themselves due to a lack of support isn’t as rare as people think. It’s a great example of resilience in children.

Jimmy Danielle

Hey Jasmine. I’ve started listening to old time radio to get through chores. Gunsmoke with William Conrad is awesome!! The Fred Allen and Jack Benny feud is really entertaining and funny.

Darcie Daniels

Haha it's ok, great vid all the same

Chris Atkinson

PERFECT.

Pam Jackson

👏👏👏👏

KrissyArtist

Hey all, gotta run, but… in addition to this, there will be a Patreon-Exclusive episode: Villain Therapy for TRUNCHBULL! Coming in the next few days!

Alan Seawright

To be fair we probably always have a moment when we want to kill our best friend. Mine wanted to kill me when I accidentally handcuffed myself to a mall shelf

Pam Jackson

Great thing to watch right before the hard work day! Super needed! Thank you Jono and Alan and the cinema therapy team! This channel is the best! I mention you guys sometimes in my therapy sessions I've learned so much from you guys and my therapist. Plus I get to nerd out!

KrissyArtist

Got to cover my tracks

Cinema Therapy

That got me too 😂

Jimmy Danielle

I love that ALL of Jono’s comments in this Drop have been about his 3 best friends. How he hasn’t killed them and whatnot!!!

Alan Seawright

Black Widow of friends 😂

Desireé (Speak91)

Thanks for clarifying! 🤣

Elizabeth McDowell

All still alive

Cinema Therapy

Gonna keep doing them! We love this stuff!

Alan Seawright

Yay that was fun, so glad I could make it.

Loki Dokey

Alan we capped out at 97!! So close!! Great episode everyone!

Jimmy Danielle

More future drops! I loved this!!

KrissyArtist

💚

Elizabeth McDowell

This was awesome!!! Thank y'all for Drops!!!

Scott Wilde

Nooooo I missed it!! Time to rewind!

Hikari Yamato

*while still empowering people to stand up for themselves

Jimmy Danielle

🤍🤍🤍 yayyy

slothtopus

Great episode guys!! 👏

KrissyArtist

Application of EQ! Good self-management. Love it

Elizabeth McDowell

Jono with the empathetic listening skills 💯

Jimmy Danielle

Frankl FTW!! haha

slothtopus

I appreciate that Jono is always realistic about the dangers of standing up for yourself. It is much more helpful than people who set you up for potential failure with no warning because that causes more harm.

Jimmy Danielle

And the way she MOVES! She moves like a linebacker!

Alan Seawright

Telepathy

Pam Jackson

Alan: what am emotion? Good things not bad things? Jono: I not only understand what you're getting at but will expand in a way everyone wants

Scott Wilde

She just looks the part! It's so great!

KrissyArtist

Pam Ferris’s physicality is incredible

slothtopus

It’s my true gift. I’m an exceptional communicator and simultaneously a godawful speaker.

Alan Seawright

It is super relatable!

KrissyArtist

From omg I'm gonna die to whoohooo this is fun.

Loki Dokey

I love watching Alan try to put words to what we know or want to ask, and knowing exactly what he means even if it comes out in a tangle 🤍

slothtopus

Alan found great editors, who then brought us other great editors. They're so talented, and delightful people to boot.

Cinema Therapy

Holy crap guys. Are there going to be 100 of us watching this by the end?

Alan Seawright

Sooo close. Yet so far…

Jimmy Danielle

There are so many things about Twilight that are ALMOST awesome.

Alan Seawright

Credits to all the people who work on this incredible channel!

KrissyArtist

We have SUCH good editors. It’s unfair.

Alan Seawright

I am giggling, because in the Twilight books/movies Carlisle has love and compassion as his literal superpower lol.

Jimmy Danielle

“The great stories help you through your hardship.” Amen! There are certain books and movies that became my guidelines on navigating hardship

Big Red Cube

😆😆 the edits are so good. In every episode.

Loki Dokey

Elsa from Frozen should be an X- man according to HISHE too

Darcie Daniels

I love Miss Honey's little house. It is so cute and cozy! She deserves her dad's house for sure and I'm glad she gets it but man I love that little house

KrissyArtist

Like soooo many, I spent 40 years thoroughly believing my superpowers were my problems.

slothtopus

Oh boy, practice not crying at work! (I 100% expected the emotions and trauma work with this movie)

Scott Wilde

I ended up like Ms. Honey. Being a teacher and then a counselor.

Jimmy Danielle

I think that part gets lost a lot in the argument over which Wonka people like more. Both versions are dark in their own way, but the source material is pretty disturbing lol.

Jimmy Danielle

ALWAYS wanted to make a straight-up WuXia movie!

Alan Seawright

The villains destroy her book collection and she goes off.

Cinema Therapy

Yep such good writing! I can't wait to see how it is done in season 2 of the Last of us!

KrissyArtist

If given the opportunity what scene would you like to try with wire work

Pam Jackson

Alan literally answering a question I've had my whole life

Cinema Therapy

Cool knowledge drop Alan! Love it!

Elizabeth McDowell

Last of Us series is SOOOOO interesting in what it chooses to deconstruct. Love can be bad. Payback/revenge is never worth it.

Alan Seawright

Right the witches is super dark and so is Charlie and the chocolate factory!

KrissyArtist

When I rewatched this recently, the fact that Trunchbull murdered her own brother for a house reminded me that Dahl has always been super dark.

Jimmy Danielle

I agree

Loki Dokey

I just want a John Wick spinoff starring Mara Wilson as an ass-kicking assassin!

Alan Seawright

Revenge stories are great and I love when the message that revenge isn't worth it is told as well. Last of us 2 anyone?

KrissyArtist

The Punisher but just against animal abusers

Scott Wilde

I love when Jono has these types of insights: The hero is fun to watch, but not good to actually emulate…

Alan Seawright

I love that we bring John Wick into Matilda

Cinema Therapy

Indeed! ❤️ you’ve got mail. My go to romcom

Pam Jackson

You’ve got Mail!

Elizabeth McDowell

If it’s a nasty hurtful thing to say

Pam Jackson

When you finally find the courage to say the thing you want to, regret inevitably follows

Pam Jackson

That's why artists envy there childhood. Kids have such a unique and beautiful view of the world and don't have cares. That's why kids are the ultimate artists

KrissyArtist

I love you equally. But yes, I met you last.

Cinema Therapy

I actually thought this was one of the things lost in translation culturally from the original british boarding school setting.

Nicole Colombatto

Yeah, I have some ideas for some “kids on bikes” movies, just because it’s SOOOO true that kids’ perception of reality is just naturally super cinematic!

Alan Seawright

This movie was perfectly cast

KrissyArtist

A teacher that reminders me of her*

McLovinPopeIII

yesssss it *is* your reality

slothtopus

~the~American~school~system~

Scott Wilde

I had a teacher in the 2nd grade. He wasn't that bad, but he was close.

McLovinPopeIII

Is that even legal 5 hours after school haha

KrissyArtist

I’d just assumed you’d leaned in to Britishisms of only calling your best friends by the worst things

Pam Jackson

I’m THIRD!

Alan Seawright

I consider all the insecurities I have helped friends burn away sacrifices in the name of Friendship

Scott Wilde

Why did no one ever turn this principle in?

Desireé (Speak91)

I have three best friends, to clarify. Alan is friends with the other two. We've made movies all together. I'm not burning through bros, just fyi

Cinema Therapy

Danny Devito such a treasure and hilarious.

KrissyArtist

That shot reminds me of John Candy and the giant steak in the Great Outdoors

Elizabeth McDowell

I wonder if this scene was the inspiration for the scene in How I met your mother with the wedding cake

Pam Jackson

Right! Lunch and Dinner best meal times haha!

KrissyArtist

Love and light to you!

KrissyArtist

Every damn day! Lunch is my happy time!

Alan Seawright

Thanks Jono!

KrissyArtist

🫡

Pam Jackson

Hi Jono 🤗

Loki Dokey

Lean in to it Pammeh!

Alan Seawright

That's my story too! Love and light to you

Cinema Therapy

When you skip merrily to lunch

KrissyArtist

Straight to the chokey with you

Nicole Colombatto

She’s called Pam?!

Pam Jackson

Omg that Bull of a woman I was so scared of her.

Loki Dokey

I've worked up quite a tab in that case!

Cinema Therapy

I came from a good family home and because of bullying from other kids and a family member I struggle with my self image. I am trying to get better with therapy but man it is the hardest thing to learn

KrissyArtist

Yep I have their eps playing while I’m washing dishes. They’ve got me through lots of suds!

Darcie Daniels

Movies can do things books can't, and vice versa, regardless of medium good stories shine

Scott Wilde

No forgiveness in this life or the next!

Alan Seawright

It makes Trunchball very scary. It’s like she’s in your face screaming at you.

Pam Jackson

Jono here. Sorry I'm late!

Cinema Therapy

Learning self love as a kid but not perfecting the skill till your an adult 👍

Jasmillio

Always! Don’t leave home without it.

Alan Seawright

Already so sucked into Mara’s performance. What a talented young lady.

Nicole Colombatto

I was a movies kid (instead of books) bc dyslexia.

slothtopus

My kids have started saying “dip face” a LOT. Also, I KNOW Whit Hertford. Lived here in Utah for awhile and worked in the industry. Cool guy!

Alan Seawright

Ohhh!!! I remember this film from when I was in elementary school. I was able to watch the whole thing since I was not at home or the theaters. I never knew the title ether so I couldn’t look it up later on. I thank you guys for shining the light on this film.😊

Raiyu Lilliputian

I was a "books" kid! I consider myself a storyteller kind of person now

Scott Wilde

Alan do you always have that sparkle in your pocket for emergencies?

Pam Jackson

Like movies‽ I would never 👀

slothtopus

That is an amazing library 😍

Desireé (Speak91)

As someone who loves to read this is so relatable

KrissyArtist

She’s Brooks from Shawshank

Amy Robinson

I’m listening on my Raycon earbuds I got for a discount cuz of my favorite internet dads! 😍

Elizabeth McDowell

Plus you guys do an amazing job of explaining what’s going on in the clips. 😁

Jasmillio

Noted.

Pam Jackson

Imagine playing Trunchbull AND aunt Marge

slothtopus

Hello Mr. Internet dad Sir 😁

Loki Dokey

Aww matilda!!! Such a good movie!

KrissyArtist

I made it!! Yay!

Amy Robinson

WHOA! Hey 50 friends! Jono is on his way, he’ll be here in moments.

Alan Seawright

lol I’ve watched all these movies so many times I just see the clips in my head at this point

Jasmillio

I’m third!

Alan Seawright

3rd best 😂

Emily Gravity

Well it’s nice to be on the list 🤣

Pam Jackson

We’ve thought about it, but the whole idea is there are clips we watch. I honestly don’t get how people listen without watching… 🤷🏼‍♂️

Alan Seawright

I remember reading the books as a kid

Pam Jackson

I like that idea

Emily Gravity

You guys ever think of making these episodes a podcast? I always listen to the episodes while I clean.

Jasmillio

Yay

Pam Jackson

Sadly, couldn’t make it happen.

Alan Seawright

I'm excited for this one! Matilda was one of my favorites growing up. It took years to get "Send me on my way" out of my head.😅

Musical Esscence

Darn, I have a class then.

Lauren Spaeth

Dare I dream/hope that Mara will be a guest in this episode??

Yay! That's my birthday! ☺️🎂

Hannah

I swear if they have Mara on as a guest 😍

Chris Atkinson

And the story behind the scenes with the real life actors will make your heart burst into tears so get ready!#cryingwithalan

Robin

The squeal I squelt ❤️🙌🏻😂

Jimmy Danielle


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