The Nature of Predators - Human Exterminators 2 (9/9)

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Memory transcription subject: William Kane, Human Exterminator

Date [standardized human time]: January 31, 2137

There were scenes in movies where the camera zoomed in on a character, and you could see the thief in the night or the speeding bus barreling down on them. I felt as though I were watching such a threat creep up on myself, and I wished that I could be so blissfully oblivious as a doomed protagonist. For all of my misdeeds, the guild was the only source of stability in my life. It wouldn’t make sense, in light of my failures during this case, for Volek to do anything other than strip me of my job. It wasn’t unreasonable for her to take much more than my title, perhaps even pressing charges.

“I won’t keep you in suspense,” the Venlil PR specialist sighed. “I’m not firing you, even if I should.”

My mouth fell open. “Wait…what?!”

“Well, William, despite your asinine and treasonous behavior, you’re the only one who’s been able to get an arrest of an HF member in the months since the attack. We’ve been looking into them nonstop, and you walked right in the front door. What I need for you is to help us draw them out, and work undercover. I might offer Paulo a plea deal in exchange for his cooperation, leading us to others. Simply put, stopping a potential terrorist threat is more important than punishing you.”

“I…I see. Thank you, boss, I won’t let you down. I can be a good—”

“Don’t go thanking me, because I’m not fucking letting you off the hook. You’re getting suspended for a minimum of two weeks without pay, and your probation will be indefinite. I’m also taking you off of all criminal cases, since you bungle something on every one. All you’ll be heading out for is confirmed animal calls, primarily instances of human pets. What you’re actually qualified for as animal control officer. You are still our lone Terran wildlife expert. These terms are non-negotiable.”

“Of course, they’re completely, beyond fair terms…I’ll do whatever you want. I owe Rauln, Fyron, and Luala my life, and I ain’t ever gonna forget that. Really.”

“We’ll see about that. I always thought there was a good man, beneath that prickly exterior, but you’ve disappointed me on numerous occasions, William. Your web access is revoked for obvious reasons; your friends are capable of rooting out information that’s needed. It’s going to be a long road to earn our trust back in the smallest ways.”

“I don’t expect to ever have your trust again. If you think I can help with hunting down HF, well I don’t know, but I’ll do my part.”

“Hunting down. Did you say that on purpose?”

“Say…fuck, I didn’t mean that one like that. How do you say, uh, tracking down…no, that’s the same…catching? Capturing? Pursuing? Well shit. All our words for going after criminals are kinda predatory, for real.”

“I’m uncertain whether you’re listing these barbaric synonyms to mess with me.”

“Swear to God, I’m not. A lot of those cultural things y’all take offense to are subconscious.”

“I’m going to be asking the normal humans whether this is a genuine, honest mistake, William. You won’t ever march around here, mocking me or the guild again. Now, I want you to grab whatever you need, say good-bye to your prying buddies, and get off these premises within the hour. Don’t show your face around here until I send word.”

“I’ll be outta here faster than you can say, ‘Predator.’ When I come back, I’m going to actually gun for Employee of the Month.”

“Leave. Now. Before I change my mind.”

Had I not been hobbled by my skewered leg, I would’ve sprinted out of the conference room; instead, I was limited to incremental hops toward the door. Luala was browsing through the contents of my desk drawers like it was a public library. Who did that damn bird think she was? Boredom was not a suitable excuse to go rummaging through my personal belongings. I tried to speed up my crutch-limping, and issued a pointed cough.

The Krakotl’s beak jerked up. “What are all these cartoon cards you have in your drawers? You never talk much about any interests. I wondered if you even had any, other than looking so glum.”

Be polite. She might be snooping, but she also saved your life. “It’s…collectible trading cards for, um, this video game series about catching all types of fictional creatures, which has been popular for over a century on Earth. I, uh, mighta looked into being an animal control officer out of some notion of being like that in real life.”

“Why would you want to catch these creatures…for fun? Are they dangerous predators, or—”

“It’s about training them to fight, and…fuck, you wouldn’t understand, Rotisserie. Close the fucking drawer.”

“Sure, Monkey Wings.”

“The fuck did you just call me? First off, monkeys don’t have wings. Secondly, that’s just insulting…”

“I know it’s insulting. You humans have a saying about tasting your own medicine. As for the wings, with your flabby elbows all bent, you have what’s close enough to wings. If I’m food, so are you.”

“At least pick Soylent Green, or something actually funny.”

The Krakotl trilled, and hopped up on my desk to make an announcement. “Everybody, listen up! Will’s name is Monkey Wings, so everybody should call him that! That’s mun-key—”

“Shut up! Get down from there, or I’ll strangle you again…wait, I mean, that’s a total joke, because I’m a changed man. Dammit birdie, did you come to gloat, ‘cause Fyron passed along that I was getting fired?”

Humor glimmered in Luala’s eyes, as she climbed down. “I came to pay my respects to the ashes of a promising career. And, I suppose, to say good-bye, with a little grandstanding of my own.”

“Well, save it. I’m just suspended for two weeks.”

“Oh.”

“Sorry to disappoint. I owe you some thanks for believing that HF supporter guy wasn’t me, even when I didn’t believe it. I’m gonna try to be better.”

“Us Krakotl have a saying: try is a flightless word. I’m not sure how well it translates, but it means…you either just do what you’re talking about, or you crash.”

“I guess I’m a…flightless guy. Never deserved your friendship, and it’s chump change to reciprocate it now, huh? I’m sorry.”

“I already forgave you, you big idiot. Come here.”

The Krakotl wrapped her wings around my waist, and I hesitantly patted the back of her head. It was surprising how soft and almost fur-like they felt; I pulled away seconds later, coughing awkwardly. It’d never been my intention to befriend Luala, but deep inside, I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her. That was caring, wasn’t it? Besides, the banter had brought a smile to my battered face. The only thing that’d kept us from being friends was her species, and I needed to put that hatred behind me.

Not right now, because I’ve been in enough pain for one week, but maybe I’ll go to her and Fyron’s book club. Give in once, since friends do shit they don’t wanna do.

I shrugged my shoulders. “Well, Volek wants me outta here, so I don’t dare linger. Besides, Rauln’s on leave until they sort through the whole ‘burned a human alive and liked it’ shit. Gotta make sure he’s alright, being by his lonesome. I’ll see ya when I see ya.”

“Wait! Before you go…I wasn’t here just to hassle you,” the bird admitted. “There was a Venlil kid asking to see you, out in the lobby; came in just behind you. Says his name is Jimek. Do you know him?”

“Aw shit. I can guess why he’s here. Send him in.”

Luala opened her mouth, perhaps to ask why I couldn’t fetch him myself, then remembered my leg injury. The Krakotl hopped off to retrieve Jimek, and returned with the young Venlil in tow. The kid’s eyes wandered with curiosity, soaking in every detail of the office’s appearance; perhaps it would be the next feature of one of his drawings. When they landed on me, the lone human in the room, it took a moment for recognition to flare at all. The artistic adolescent gasped at the extent of my injuries, bounding over without any stalling.

“Shit! When they told me you were on injury leave last week, I didn’t think…you look like someone turned you into a piñata!” Jimek squealed.

I chuckled. “Your pal, Dusty or whatever it was, taught you about piñatas?”

“For his birthday, he got us to make one of a ‘horse.’ Dustin didn’t like our bleach bath traditions.”

“Your what?”

“You work with Venlil and you don’t know? We bathe in bleach to keep predators off our scent for a year.”

“Of course you fu—freaking do. I’m trying not to spew the whole superior culture shit anymore, but you guys make it very difficult.”

The kid twisted his ears in confusion. “Uh, sorry to talk your ear off. I just came here to take up your offer on the flamethrower. Every day when I drive past Cylek’s house, I hear what you said. His whole family is a shitheap! Vana is just as bad and as mean as he is, so I promise there’s no one innocent, Mr. Exterminator.”

“Does Dustin know about this?”

“No?”

“Does your mom?”

“No! Of course not. I thought you were gonna help me. You said you don’t need your flamethrower. I mean, you’re human!”

“I don’t need my flamethrower, but neither do you, kiddo. What I said was ignorant. People who hurt you might deserve to hurt, sure. Problem is you hurt everyone else around you, too, because they’re watching you hurt yourself. Look at my face; this is what happens when you get consumed by hate!”

Pupils shifted in my direction, as my voice climbed to an emphatic pitch. It was all I could do not to duck my head with shame; as long as the kid heard the authenticity in my voice, it didn’t matter what everyone else thought of me. I pretended not to notice Luala hanging back to eavesdrop, or to see Fyron closing the book she was “hiding” beneath her desk. Jimek’s face scrunched up with emotion, and his watering eyes and clenched fists told me enough. I could hardly blame the poor Venlil for hating his bullies.

It’s impossible for a child to understand why others are cruel to him. What were you thinking, Will, encouraging that arson fantasy? So much for telling Paulo murder is a line you wouldn’t cross.

Jimek’s tail flailed wildly. “So I’m supposed to do nothing, and let Cylek get away with it? He’s predator-diseased, he really is! You’re exterminators; do something about it!”

“That’s a good idea,” I said hurriedly. “We can help you; it’s good to ask people for help, instead of going it solo. It sounds like…maybe Dustin gives some bad advice, but he’d be there for you. Going through life alone, it’s just sad, man. Sadder than calling a bleach bath a birthday party.”

“I don’t wanna be alone. It’s not my fault everyone rejects me, and pushes me out of the herd!”

“Of course it’s not your fault. It’s just not worth it to ruin your own life ‘cause other people are assholes; you’re just a kid. Here, why don’t you go with my nice friend Luala, who’s not subtle at all with her eavesdropping? File a report with the psychology department, and see what comes of it. Last resorts should be your last resort, yeah?”

“I guess. I feel like I’m on my last resort, though. Cylek won’t stop, any time he knows Dustin’s not around.”

“But if Dustin attacks him back, seemingly unprovoked, it’s a predator attack. I hear you, kiddo, I’m not brushing you off. I’m an exterminator, so guess who can be brutal to people for any—”

The back of my skull burned, and I peered over my shoulder to see Volek glowering from across the room.

I raised a finger. “You heard nothing. What I was saying is that, uh, the guild needs artists, and if you’re with us, then you’re untouchable. That’s the gist of what I was saying.”

“No it’s—”

“Shush. Go with Luala, and do what I said, or I’ll tell your mother!”

The Krakotl, upon closer inspection, was trying not to laugh; Fyron was also attempting to mask her snickers. I didn’t see what was so funny about me attempting to push Jimek on a better path. How was it fair that they all told me to stop being a prick, and when I tried, they laughed at me? At least Rauln wasn’t around to undermine every word I said. Luala did move in to escort the bullied Venlil to the human-run mental health department, but only after I mouthed an indignant, “What the fuck?” at her. She couldn’t lipread English words, but she clearly understood.

Grumbling to myself, I walked out of the exterminators’ office to begin my suspension. I couldn’t say it felt good to attempt to censor myself, but at least I hopefully hadn’t made things worse for Jimek. With that issue handled, my focus could center around my Venlil roommate. Since we were both stuck at home—Rauln pending review and me pending reinstatement—perhaps I could use this time to be the big brother I’d failed to be in recent memory.

—

The smoke-furred Venlil had a livid expression on his face; I found him waiting on the doorstep of our apartment to confront me yet again. Rauln was scowling at me like my very existence offended him. It wasn’t entirely dissimilar to the way he’d eyed Malthe Hansen as he burned the HF leader alive, while calling him predator filth. My roommate was hiding something behind his back, and I was a little concerned that it might be a flamethrower. What could I have possibly done that was worse than trying to join up with an extremist organization?

“You!” Rauln hissed. “I am gonna kick your ass, and I don’t care that you’re already black-and-blue. One way trip back to your hospital bed.”

I stopped well clear of the doorstep. “Whatever I did, I’m sorry?”

“You know what you did! What the fuck is this?”

My roommate raised the packet of burgers above his head, and disgust outshone his anger for a brief moment. I released an audible groan; why was Rauln snooping around in my shelf? That actual food was his hostage now, and given how much I’d dreamed about throwing the patties onto a grill, I was praying he wouldn’t hurt them. Hell, I really hoped they hadn’t defrosted. The Venlil got a hold of his nausea, returning to the “I will break your face, worse than it’s already broken” glare.

I donned my best look of innocence, pleading with my eyes. “Let’s not do anything rash. Put the burgers down. You don’t wanna touch it, huh? Oooh, spooky, lab-grown ‘dead animal’ cutlet!”

“You brought flesh into my home!” Rauln screamed, likely loud enough for the neighbors to hear. “I tolerated the dairy products, because I understand you’re a filthy predator who can’t forsake vileness altogether. But this? Eating corpses like it’s food…storing that dead matter right below my food. I have to throw it all out!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, it’s in a sealed packet. What, do you think it’s radioactive or something? Does your fridge need a Chernobyl exclusion zone?”

“A what?!”

“Never mind. My point is, your food is in a separate area. It didn’t hurt you. If you weren’t sticking your noseless face where it didn’t belong, you wouldn’t have ever known it was there.”

“I was checking to make sure you had enough food to make it a few days. If not, I was going to offer to pick some…animal products up. I figured it would be hard to go to the store all hobbled.”

“Oh. That was nice of you.” An idea popped into my brain for how to save my precious gift. It was worth a try to see if Rauln would buy it. “Look, this is a misunderstanding, buddy. It’s not what it looks like.”

“I understand perfectly!”

“No, you don’t. This is here for the case, from work. Luca Ricci? What he did for Humanity First was a meat-smuggling business; this is evidence I gathered during my legitimate investigation. Once Volek is ready to talk with me, I’m gonna see if she needs this…maybe it can track down their supplier, yeah? And if it’s not needed, I promise I’ll get it out of here before you can say ‘poof.’”

“Hm.”

“Misjudged your favorite human, huh? This is the only way to keep real meat off Skalga; it’s all for the guild. Now, you’re gonna be a good Venlil—take the burgers, and put them back in the freezer. You’ll be fine, I promise.”

My roommate shuffled back into the apartment, prompting me to follow on my crutches. I was tempted to breathe a sigh of relief, as a placated Rauln returned the packet to the fridge. The Venlil shook his paw out with disgust, and washed it off with a soapy sponge. I loved the herbivore teen, but in most instances, he was rather gullible. No wonder he’d bubble-wrapped himself with predator paranoia. With a crisis averted, I tossed my head back in the direction of the parking lot.

“You know how I texted you that there’s something I wanted to teach you?” I struggled back out to the lot. I leaned on one arm, long enough to undo the lock I’d used to affix a bicycle to a lamppost. “I spent a good amount of money on this. Ordered it from my hospital bed, got it tailored to your crooked legs, so you better like it.”

Rauln eyed it skeptically. “Why are there pink ribbons on the branches?”

“Handlebars, not branches. I know you’re an herbivore, you dream about leaves and all, but this is obviously not a plant. Anyhow, the tassels remind me of my sister’s bike. I wanted to teach you how to ride it, like I helped teach her. You’re my little sibling now.”

“Well, I’ll try it for you…but I don’t see the point of pedaling a two-wheeled device.”

“You walk to and from work. This is faster, and it doesn’t need fuel. I think that’s a good point.”

“Hmph. What if I can’t balance?”

“You’re gonna fall a few times, but you’ll learn. I’m right here. Oh, I don’t know if your brain is worth keeping as is, but put that helmet on anyways.”

A hissing Rauln clipped the helmet over his head, which had convenient slits for ears. I prompted him to wheel the bike out to an open space, and watched as he gingerly mounted it. The Venlil looked uncertain, with one paw poking at a pedal; the exterminator almost jumped with how easily it moved. I knew he’d punch me for saying it, but the angsty teen was adorable on the pink-tasseled bike. My fluffy brother glanced over at me for encouragement, and I gave a reassuring smile.

“Don’t pedal, just start nice and small,” I advised. “Push yourself forward off the ground with two legs, and try to get the feel for balancing. Small glides.”

The Venlil took a deep breath. “Alright, Will. I’ll trust you…bro…”

I balanced against my crutches, and against the physical pain, I spectated in support of my found family. Rauln seemed encouraged by my ear-to-ear grin, and pushed off with both once-powerful legs. Warmth filled my heart, as I perhaps became the first human to teach a Venlil to ride a bike. That title felt much more satisfying to me than being the first human exterminator ever could.

A/N - The end of HE2! Volek opts to remove Will's access to any sensitive information, rather than let him go, and assigns him specifically to animal control cases. Luala, after discovering some cards in Mr. Kane's desk belonging to a certain game franchise, pokes at him and returns the nickname jabs...but she also brings along Jimek, who William tries to steer away from taking his earlier arson advice. Lastly, we end with Rauln finding the burgers, and after being talked off the ledge, learning how to ride a bike. What was your favorite part of the ending?

As always, thank you for reading and supporting!