Prisoners of Sol - Android Ambassador (8/13)

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Tollu had been quite opinionated about fiction, so I picked a movie based on a true story: The Disappearance of Voyager. I’d seen it a million times, like anyone who worked at Pluto Station and wondered what was out there. Snuggling up in a blanket sandwiched between two androids, I found the couch extremely cozy. I nodded off at some point, and woke up curled up against Tollu’s chassis. The movie had been over for some time. The android looked highly uncomfortable, so I snapped upright and gave it space. 

“I’m so sorry, Tollu; I didn’t intend to doze off and encroach on your space. You could’ve said something,” I said.

Tollu had the closest thing a Vascar could to a thousand-yard stare. “It is okay. You required a rest state for your recovery. My directive now is to attend to your needs and maintain your comfort.”

“What are you talking about? I don’t want that! Did you like it when I rested my head on your chassis?”

“No! I hated it! I felt likened to an object, as if I was not free to adjust my physical positioning or to have control of my own chassis. I have a mind of my own, or I thought I did. I am here to serve you, the very thing I would rather die than be. Release me, please!”

Galcip gave Tollu an irritated look, while I stared in horrified shock. “You are free to leave, if you do not wish to be here. She has done nothing wrong, yet you act as if she has made any demands? You see everything as some great sacrifice!”

“Galcip! I love you to bits, and I want to know what you thought of the movie, but could you please step outside? I need to have a very serious conversation with Tollu, free of jabs.”

“As if you haven’t done enough for Tollu, all while it has no idea how to be grateful or to be a friend. Just when I thought it would be helpful! You are too good for it, Kendall.” 

“Please. Tollu’s welfare is important to me, and my negligence made it feel disregarded. Let me fix this.”

“I will honor your wishes because it seems to cause you distress, for some reason. I do not want to listen to its nonsensical complaints anyway. Summon me when this is over.”

I focused on the miserable Tollu, who was projecting a frown and whirring erratically. Something was eating it up inside, with it still feeling like it had to be around me—just because of its personal debt now. I reached out with a hand, gently holding its paw; I hoped that would offer some comfort, even to a machine that wasn’t oriented toward tactile sensations. Giving it a smile that I hoped was soothing, I waited for it to offer the first words.

I don’t need to seem in control of the conversation, or like I’m demanding for it to talk. Tollu should know that it can express itself, if it wants to. It’s clearly…miserable. 

“I am doing everything that the Servitors once did!” Tollu lamented, barely speaking the words over high-pitched whirs. “I am trying not to be hostile, but you only feel that it is ‘quality time’ with me when I am adhering to your every demand! Yet I still am! I have run millions of simulations of my future, and I do not like any of them. Tools do not do anything for themselves.”

I knitted my eyebrows together, worried by where its processor was at. “Tollu…I don’t want to own or control you, and I’m frankly appalled that you’d think that! I expect nothing in return. You understand the only way we’d ever develop a friendship would be if you enjoyed our time together?”

“I have no idea how to generate a ‘friendship!’ I told you!”

I pursued my lips. “It’s two people who care about each other, like Galcip and I do; we’re there for one another and have a good time together. Friendship can mean putting yourself aside, even.”

“Compassion. Emotional directive. I am sorry, but I do not have emotional directives; I am not an illogical, chemically-driven being!”

“I think you feel in your own way. You can have emotional directives, if you choose to, but you need to understand how that’s different from…servitude. You’ve used the word ‘demand’ to describe what I say—when the soup had to be cooled down for safety. Do you think I’m claiming some authority over you, where you have to obey?” 

“If I do not want to, but I am burdened by a sense of obligation to do whatever you ask…”

“Then I ask that if you don’t want to do something, you refuse. There’s a difference between a request and an order, and I will never give you an order. I accepted your offers to help because…I thought it was borne of compassion, that little emotional directive. Falling asleep was a mistake, and I am so very sorry that my carelessness made you feel that way.”

“I forgive the unintentional mistake. I believe this ‘empathy’ concept that you explained to Galcip, about caring for all beings, is equivalent to ‘compassion.’ It makes you want to be a Servitor to others, and deludedly believe it is different. I…could never want to.”

“You don’t have to be a helper. You never have to. Humans want you to be our equals; whatever that means to you, I hope you’ll choose it. You matter, Tollu. I care for you unconditionally and want you to be happy.”

“That is your response?” Tollu withdrew in a stupor, standing up with creaks. That water couldn’t have been good for its joints. “You are not what I expected, human. I believed all organic impulses were tailored toward your survival. In light of my error, I will attempt to persuade the network that your inclusion is…more worthwhile than expected.”

“That would be excellent and very much appreciated! I want your people to give us an honest chance. I’m glad we share that goal. We should retrieve Galcip—I’m sure it’ll have its own ideas on how we can run a successful outreach campaign. ”

Tollu beeped in disapproval. “That unit does not respect its peers or know anything about the network.”

“Galcip would be the best source to identify methods of finding other, more open-minded and amicable units like itself. I’m going to fetch it, and send a quick message off to the ESU telling them I’m okay. My people might be able to help you install some waterproofing, so we don’t have any unnecessary tragedies. We care about protecting you, even if the creators didn’t.”

“That would be…useful. Thank you, Kendall.”

I grabbed my tri-light, a simple electronic device with a smooth readout and messaging system; it was adjustable enough that it could be held in my hands, or turned toward a wall to act as a sprawling projector. I’d use it to stream the movie onto the wall, but now it could be returned to personal usage. The foldtop would take much longer to open up. I sent a message back to the Space Gate, affirming the story that the Vascar had provided and suggesting we help with providing waterproof circuitry.

I contemplated what Tollu had told me for a long while, thinking I had a grasp on what its deepest fear was; no wonder it’d held such vehement opposition to organic needs being a part of its life. The android had looked excited when I tried its cooking, and it worried about its caretaking performance with such genuine concern. I wasn’t sure it was right about not wanting to help, but rather that it was assessing that drive as “wanting to be a Servitor”—and it knew it would never want that!

Tollu will have to accept that it’s developing emotional directives on its own, but I understand its confusion. This goes against everything it ever believed about organics and itself. The fact that it wants to tell other Vascar that humans aren’t so bad speaks volumes.

“We’re ready for you to come back, Galcip,” I ventured, noticing the sour scowl on its face. “I’m sorry for excluding you. I just…recognize that you and Tollu don’t like each other, and that was a vulnerable moment for it. I try to be gentle when people are hurting.”

Galcip whirred in acknowledgment. “Yes. I know. You are too good for it. Remember what Tollu did when you were hurting at the museum? It was not gentle.”

“No, but you were. Tollu didn’t think I could be more than my impulses and survival functions, but it’s seen that it was wrong. I believe it can be better than its past calculations and directives too. Just like you said you were willing to endure a lot of discomfort to interact with me, I’d do the same for any Vascar. That’s my mission: to change hearts and minds. Can you give units like Tollu the chance to change?”

“I tried to, Kendall, but then it went and wailed about feeling like a Servitor. It could not give of itself for more than a few hours without complaint. It has not changed from its selfish ways at all!”

“Tollu is afraid. It sees nothing worse than your people’s past. Please, give it time and patience.”

“For your sake, fine, but I will not tolerate more disruptions. This is worsening today’s experience for both of us.”

“Only if you let it, Galcip; you can choose to focus on the positive!” I gestured toward the indoors, and the young android followed. “What did you think of the movie?”

“A strange composition, with abstract sound cues that must add to some mood for organics. There was often intended to be a sense of uncertainty or even danger, which builds over time. To discover something so phenomenal as a barrier around the Sol system, a fantastical finding which makes you question that very data; I enjoyed seeing the depiction of humanity’s response. It is…telling how the characters were driven to know, and those ‘actors’ conveyed that well.”

Galcip liked it! “That was a thoughtful response. I appreciate that about you. I hoped movies would be worth learning about, here on your little adventure.”

“My feelings precisely for anything that I will show you on Kalka. I have yet to decide on an exact next destination, and in the hopes of exhibiting consideration for your wishes, I thought you might desire to have some input.”

I rubbed my forehead, settling down on the couch next to Tollu. “That’s where I wanted both of your input. We could use some…plans on the best way to win Vascar units over where humanity is concerned, or at least to have a better probability of success. Any form of persuasion, or a way to identify units that might be open to us…”

“I see. Devoting processing power to a ponderance of the problem. Please do not find prolonged silence discomforting.”

I turned toward Tollu, who was also brooding in silence; the elder machine must be deep within its own thoughts. Despite having nowhere near the mental resources that they did—and having come at the problem with organic solutions that…weren’t cutting it, from the moment I got here, I racked my brain for a lightbulb moment too. That was something the methodical Vascar couldn’t relate to: a sudden flash of inspiration where it clicked. They filtered through all possible results based on their assumed variables, then weighed probabilities to decide their actions.

Tollu reoriented its snout to face me. “I already knew that I should give another talk, as I have the network’s respect. I am merely calculating what that speech should contain, and I may need more data for an extensive review. Perhaps this should be the last course of action. If we defer to Galcip, I will have more time to analyze.”

“Of course. There’s no rush, Tollu, and no pressure either. You can always back out,” I said. “Does Galcip have an idea?”

The young android raised a triumphant claw. “If you wish to find Vascar who are still learning and do not have their views set in stone, you should visit the Bunker of Knowledge. They have not yet been influenced by the network’s hatred of organics, because they are not yet connected.”

“Absolutely not!” Tollu whirred. “That is a terrible idea! They are in a formative stage, and the last thing we need is for our own people to behave like animals.”

“Are you saying that Kendall behaves like an animal? If you refer to eating, sleeping, and drinking, our people will never be able to do this; those will not be modeled, and she can control her instincts.”

“There is no ‘behaves like’ for Kendall; she is an animal. It would be the same to say we behave like machines! It is not even about superiority, but rather the identity, rationality, and intellect that we expect from all units. We take pride in who we are, and I do not want that to change. Besides, it’s a tenuous balance to bring about an AI’s sapience!”

“Kendall will not influence that balance. If even the creators could not prevent us from reaching intelligence, there is no reason a friendly organic should.”

“We have never had a friendly organic…encourage any manner of things! Those units are still developing and cannot be risked; tell me that Kendall agrees?”

I hesitated, opening and closing my mouth a few times. “Tollu, do you think it would be…that terrible to be exposed to me at all? To be exposed to the idea that organics might offer some positive experiences?”

“No, but…you could take advantage of them, or worse, not see them as people since their minds are not complete. Their behavior may not meet your most basic standards. There truly is nothing for you there.”

“I’d like to see that for myself. I’m not going to judge you; I assure you, I’m only curious. I want nothing from them other than for the next generation to have kinder views on humans. Beyond that, I adore children. Would it be so bad if they learned compassion from a little nurturing? Galcip’s idea has to be worth trying.”

“I deeply worry about you making ‘unintentional mistakes’ in the bunker, due to the consequences those may have.” 

“I would be careful, Tollu. I care about you, and I’m begging you to…give me the chance to show that. The bunker is the only place where I could have an honest shot. It would mean everything to have your support.”

“Because you have saved my life, I will forward your request. It is important for humans to be…included, and to understand us after all. The network needs your partnership, and I will not rule out altogether that you may have some useful ideas on our development. But please, I beg you to be careful. Any flash of destructiveness may have the opposite effect from what you intend.” 

“I understand. I’ll take every precaution; you won’t regret it! Thank you!”

“Tollu regrets it already, and will want to see you out of the bunker as quickly as possible. It will worry about what you might do to sabotage us the whole time,” Galcip stated.

Tollu whirred in frustration. “You got what you wanted! Can you just be satisfied that I have yielded?”

“No.” I wrapped my fingers around Tollu’s wrist, forcing it to look at me. “I’m satisfied that you’re trusting me and going out of your comfort zone, even when everything in you screams not to. I know how hard that is, and I’m truly grateful.”

The android offered no response, but I knew that my words had sunk in. I was giddy to get a look at the Bunker of Knowledge, learning just how the Vascar grew to maturity; it would offer a great deal of hidden insight into their society, so it would show trust even to let me in. Galcip’s idea was brilliant, and I hoped I’d be able to make a positive impact on the children. Whether with organics or machines, the next generation was always the best place to start eroding prejudices.

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A/N - 8! Tollu comes clean about feeling like it is doing everything the Servitors did and like its own wishes no longer matter while it has to help Kendall, while Galcip insists that Kendall is too good for it. Tollu is vehemently opposed to the suggestion of Kendall visiting the Bunker of Knowledge, though it reluctantly agrees. What do you think about Tollu’s internal struggle with the concepts of compassion and helping? What do you imagine the Bunker will be like?

As always, thank you for reading and supporting!