Prisoners of Sol - Android Ambassador (13/13)

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Tollu was capable of being quite the sweetheart when it wanted to help. It’d retrieved a motor vehicle for quick transit, allowing me to nap on the way to the jetpack facility—something much needed. It must have seen the dark circles under my eyes, and as promised after the drowning incident, it paid more heed to my biological needs out of courtesy. Galcip proved happy to snuggle, which made it quite easy to fall asleep.

I dreamed of my days back on Pluto Station, an occupation that felt like another lifetime ago. When I woke and blinked away sleep, it was like I could still see myself drinking coffee and staring out into the blackness of space. The wondering had eaten me up, perhaps because I could never handle not knowing; there’d been stressful days, debriefing the ESU with no viable explanations and trying not to throw my hands up at life’s greatest mystery. Looking back, I missed my colleagues—just bouncing ideas off of them had been a delight.

For a time after I arrived on Kalka, something deep inside of me craved human contact; I felt alone and ostracized. It was like there was nothing I could do that’d make a dent in Tollu’s walls, no matter how much I wanted to be a part of that Vascar’s life.

All of those years pining for answers about The Gap and languishing in uncertainty; I’d studied it through countless experiments and devoted every waking moment to unraveling that question. The adrenaline rush when I realized that aliens had contacted us, and having my brain peppered by a million new questions when I laid eyes on Mikri—it swept me off my feet every time I thought about it. A robot society made me swoon to this day, yet their problems and insecurities were…so very human. 

Would that thought insult them?

“Human Kendall, your ocular sensors are open. May I inquire about why you were making vocalizations during your rest state?” Tollu asked.

I cleared my throat, shaking off grogginess. “I was? I was dreaming about an old memory. We were soundboarding writeups for The Gap findings, and…I was writing about potential scenarios for humanity to find other intelligences. I thought contact would mean a lot to us, though I couldn’t have imagined I’d go on to meet aliens. I’m lucky.”

“I do not understand this word ‘dream.’ Please elaborate,” Galcip offered an inquisitive whir. “Sleep is a rather confounding organic subroutine.”

“I agree. Your processor still runs in your rest state?” Tollu pronounced that statement with such disbelief, that it almost was comical. “This is my conclusion from your vocalizations seeming to be some reaction to memory data.”

“Sleep is one of our trickiest functions to explain, but our performance can be…suboptimal when we’re tired.” I mulled over the question for several seconds, trying to decide how to frame it in android terms. “I suppose sleep is the brain’s maintenance cycle. You see, it degrades and has biological processes just like every other organ. It needs to remove chemical toxins, and debug what it’s encoded. Make sense so far?”

“No. You say ‘encode.’ You are not a computer; you are chemical impulses and neurons.”

“Are you sure that’s not a computer, Tollu? It’s an electrical circuit sending signals in and out, just like you. A very efficient one at that, mind you; running off of biofuel on a fraction of energy—20 watts, to be exact. Compared to the power it draws, we have staggering computational efficiency, possibly more than you.”

Tollu’s eye glow intensified. “And you have to use this energy to run various systems that regulate this biofuel intake, as well as nutrient transit fluid oxygenation.”

“Exactly! The brain relies solely on this meager power generated by these bodily processes. That means that it can’t rely on drawing more power; sometimes, it has less! Think before humans advanced. In a hard winter, when there’s limited crops and hunting in the land, that power supply is threatened and very scarce. It has to conserve energy.”

“That explains organics’ indecipherable behavior!” Galcip exclaimed, delight seeping into its tone. “You are a computer that can only power itself by chemically processing natural compounds into energy. It is not your brain serving your impulses and processes; it is them serving your brain!”

“Correct. That’s why our needs are so ‘constant’ and forefront. We’re running on emergency power all the time, and if we don’t get it—bye-bye, organic. Shutdown. I know you find it demanding, but it’s an inexorable march against nature. One that…in the end, we don’t win.”

Tollu offered a sad beep. “I am sorry, human Kendall. I can relate to an expiration date being frightening.”

“I appreciate the sympathy. That’s just life, I’m afraid. My point was that, instead of having to eat more food that’s nonexistent, sleep conserves energy and uses minimal functions.”

“Okay, why does the brain remain on and encoding then? That spends energy.”

“It has no choice. You have to keep breathing and pumping blood to stay alive, so the brain can’t fully shut off. However, instead of spending extra energy to process memories while it’s awake, it can sort through its data during sleep. Dreams are the brain running through mental images of the future and the past. It can be…like your calculation matrix, determining what to do in hypothetical scenarios.”

Tollu stewed in some dark thought for a moment. “You do not know what my calculation matrix is like.”

“We have nightmares too, Tollu. What’s important to remember is that’s just our fears. It’s imagined, not real.”

Galcip lifted a claw, whirring with confusion. “This memory encoding occupies your consciousness entirely? You seem to have been cognizant for it, and to have physically reacted to it.”

“There’s different stages of sleep, Galcip. Dreaming is primarily during the part where the brain is most active: rapid-eye movement. We don’t always remember our dreams either.”

“I see. I would like to try a close equivalent of sleep and dreaming, to see exactly what you experience. If this is possible, I am curious.”

“We might be able to simulate it. Thank you for taking an interest in what it’s like to be us, rather than being disgusted by our experiences.”

“Of course! It is not logical to judge that which is not understood through an objective lens.”

“My lens was not at all objective, when I was disgusted by organics,” Tollu admitted. “It was clouded by my fear of the creators’ intent. I will try to ask more questions with genuine interest, as you have done with us. What is it…like to be tired, Kendall?”

I chuckled. “Difficult to think. You process everything slowly, like you’re…lagging. There’s a block on your ability to contemplate or concentrate on anything. You feel a constant pull to initiate the sleep cycle from the hormones your brain is receiving, to the point that your eyes are heavy just to hold open.”

“That sounds very distressing. How do you continue to function with a stalling program? Is this the organic version of crashing?”

“No, Tollu—that’s called fainting. It can be caused by exhaustion, but it’s usually…a critical error. Sleepiness is closest to a memory leak: you continue to devote memory where it’s no longer necessary. You know how that can drain a system’s available memory and cause slow downs?”

“It can slow or freeze programs to the point that they are, in effect, shut down, even if they do not crash,” Galcip noted, staring at me with concern. “Beyond performance issues, it causes data loss. Kendall, by keeping you awake, are we creating a memory wipe scenario—like the organic Vascar’s virus?”

I furrowed my brow, grabbing Galcip’s wrist to reassure it. “Nothing so sinister, sweetie. Sleep is just needed to prune our memories, so we remember less when we’re tired. And our cognition can slow or freeze to a halt, but I just wanted you to understand if I had a hard time answering when I’m sleepy. It impairs our reasoning and ability to make decisions.”

“I thought impaired reasoning and decision-making was an organic’s natural state. Humans must be tired all the time,” Tollu decided; it was fortunate that I understood its backhanded humor.

“I’m sorry, Tollu, I can’t hear you over the memories of you falling off of a bridge while pointing out to me that there was ‘more water.’ That doesn’t strike me as good decision-making…”

“You asked me if the water ‘spoke’ to me. It is an inanimate object incapable of enunciation. I have walked past this vista exactly 592 times and have yet to care what it looked like. Nature is uninteresting, and if Galcip was honest, it was humoring you out of curiosity.”

Galcip beeped in disagreement. “No. I do not feel very connected to the natural world, but I would like to. I do find new places and views more enticing to explore than old ones.”

“You’re both missing the real lesson,” I chuckled. “Sometimes, beauty and intrigue were around us all along, but we just forgot to look. We stopped seeing it through the eyes of an explorer who hadn’t walked past it 592 times.”

“You are saying that the world has become too familiar, and that we need to find new ways to look at that which we know to maintain interest. I do not understand how to fulfill this ideal, but I think I like this philosophy.”

I smiled. “It’s important to appreciate what’s right in front of us. It’s easy to pine for something that’s not there rather than to be content in the moment. I like where I am and who I’m with right now.”

“I do too,” Tollu admitted, turning its head away like it had professed a shameful secret.

“It seems we were able to ‘generate’ a friendship after all. Now, not to break up this delightful conversation, but the car isn’t moving and we’ve been stopped for some time. Why don’t we get started repairing those jetpacks, before I get…too tired to be much help?”

Galcip opened the car door and beckoned eagerly, stopping by a pile of gear on the ground. “We already did! We let you sleep, but it’s all ready.”

“That’s amazing!” A grin spread across my face, though I soon had an epiphany and shot a concerned look at Tollu. “I trust you both with my life, so that’s fine. I just don’t want you guys feeling like you have to do all of the work.”

“It was Galcip’s idea. I wanted to show that I could work with it and help it,” Tollu stated. “I am not selfish. My output and my tasks are selected for the good of the Vascar—to contribute to the network. You both are part of the network to me.”

I hugged Tollu, remembering all too well its previous aversion to humanity linking into their network. “So you’ve reconsidered the brain-computer interface?”

“Unfortunately, yes. I concur with your statement that organics are low-power computers, so just as Galcip should, you…belong, human Kendall. It is merely making your signals compatible.”

“I’m so in. I want to squeal with excitement, Tollu. Eek!”

“Please, never make this sound again.”

I strapped on my jetpack with a grin, noticing that despite the risks, even Tollu was going to launch itself a few feet off the ground. I wrapped my fingers around the trigger and yelped in surprise, not ready for the force pushing me upwards rapidly through my spine. It took a few moments of stopping and starting—with nauseating drops and ascents—before I got the hang of it, and learned how to angle my body to steer. Not caring if the androids judged me, I whooped in delight as I flew Superman style above the treetops.

What a view. What a majestic world! If Tollu can’t see the enthralling beauty of nature from an eagle’s view, I’m not sure what I can do for it.

An uncertain Tollu hovered alongside me, as I turned upright to float and survey the land. Galcip joined us with such practiced movements, that I suspected it had snuck out and stolen jetpacks for personal use before. Both units’ interfaces were displaying smiles, which left me hopeful that at long last, we’d found an activity that could provide a fun excursion for us all.

“Does this vista speak to you, Tollu?” I teased.

The senior unit whirred in agitation. “Other than my internal alarms warning me of the probability of us falling to our deaths?”

“You know what I meant. Isn’t it beautiful just to look out over the land below?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t stop there. Tell me why it’s beautiful!”

“Because it is ours. There is so much terrain for such vast distances, and it belongs to us. It’s beholden only to us. That is worth celebrating.”

“I hate to say this, but I find Tollu’s assessment compelling,” Galcip stated. “My sole addendum is that we need to do more with this planet we have fought for. The Vascar have the opportunity to become something more as a society, thanks to humanity. We must not squander it.”

“There is an optimistic future ahead if we are willing to seize it. I will convince the network of this. I will fulfill my promise to see our views on humans change—to see us acknowledge what they can teach us. They gave us this chance. It is time we appreciate that and give them a chance as well.”

My heart was so light that I felt like I was flying, even before I turned the forward thrust back on and did a tumbling flip through the air. The idea that humanity could guide the Vascar to an emotional awakening made me giddy, so much so that I wanted to squeal again despite Tollu’s entreaty. It wasn’t clear how Tollu was going to convince the network of my value, but it meant enough that its whole being was committed to trying. Soaring on jetpacks through an alien sky, I felt more optimistic about the future than ever.

A/N - The finale! Kendall explains sleep to the confused androids, and sees an opening to suggest that organic minds aren’t as different from computers as Tollu might think. Our narrator imparts the lesson that it’s important to be present and appreciate what they have, and as they take off on the jetpacks, Tollu manages to find beauty in the land belonging to the Vascar. Do you imagine that the network will become willing to accept humans, with Tollu convincing them? Do you believe organics are basically chemical computers?

As always, thank you for reading and supporting! The next series will focus on the two Vascars, back before the rebellion…and it’s a history-laden, emotional rollercoaster. It’s going to shed a lot more light on the backstory there!