Meeting Holland and my realization of my ignorance
Added 2019-05-31 08:05:13 +0000 UTCDanny From The Seoul Ep. 21
This episode's more like a monologue about how I my views on lgbtq / minorities / media representation has changed. A little different from the usual. Excuse my quiet voice, I'm a little sick today :)
Comments
Yeah it's not always easy to butt in and intervene when your friends or family are saying that. I have been doing so the past few weeks and been getting pretty much negative responses. But baby steps I guess haha
DKDKTV
2019-06-24 08:25:45 +0000 UTCHonestly yes, I have never been exposed to openly trans people, so it has been very hard to make that adjustment for them. I'm not trying to be an asshole, but more like it just sounds really awkward for me to say 'they' as a pronoun for a single person when all my life I have been accustomed to using that word in a certain way. I guess the more I get used to it the more I'll sound less like an ignorant dumbass haha
DKDKTV
2019-06-24 08:23:03 +0000 UTCI hate the word as well, I agree with the idea behind being PC - it's about accepting and empathizing with new ideas / people. However, like you said, it's become weaponized by both sides, one using it to control and moderate the way people talk, one using it as a counter point to basically everything lol
DKDKTV
2019-06-24 08:21:14 +0000 UTCPeterson says I gotta get married or I'll die of misery... making me desperate lol
DKDKTV
2019-06-24 08:18:26 +0000 UTCYeah that word just... sucks haaha
DKDKTV
2019-06-24 08:17:37 +0000 UTCYou might not read this, but I still want to comment lol I am really glad you could open up your mind to these things. You know, it did happened to me too. My brother is gay, and all of my boy friends are gay too (for real lol none of them are straight). And I have always been supportive to the lgbtq community, but somehow I still managed to have some homophobic thought even while supporting them. But after years with them and seeing what they actually go through, it has opened up my mind so much more. People who might not know me might think that I am part of the community too, when I am not, but I just can't stand to watch how people go so hard on them just for the simplicity of their sexual orientation. It's a really personal matter for other people to be wanting to butt in. That's when we play our part. Just as you said, it's not that we all should now start looking for gay, lesbian, trans, etc and support them, but actually normalizing it. Whenever our family/ friends make some homophobic comment or joke, to just cut it off and if possible correct their way of thinking (if possible, because not everyone is going to). And btw I've got a really dark sense of humor, and I admit I've laughed my ass off at things I truly shouldn't, but when it comes to defend, my ass is gonna be there probably front row. Because that's our part to play. But really I thank you, not for only changing your way of thinking, but to decide to take action on it. You are amazing!
Nany
2019-06-18 17:48:34 +0000 UTCInteresting listen. I really like how honest Danny is about his experience, and he isn't afraid to talk about his mistakes. One note is that he still has a long way to go. It was pretty ridiculous for him to be talking about how he understands that using someone's pronouns is being respectful, but the whole time he was using the incorrect pronouns?? I think Danny doesn't understand how hurtful it can be to a person, especially casually calling a trans woman 'he' can be very upsetting/triggering.
Emma
2019-06-08 15:07:40 +0000 UTCOkay I have to say something about the whole PC thing. It’s gonna be ranty, but oh well. That word/phrase is like nails on chalkboard to me. The only point it serves is to label oneself as somehow edgy in that they are resistant to what has become “correct” or that they perceive things other people do as just being for politics. But as you’ve discovered, these “PC” things boil down to just having empathy for different people with different experiences, different struggles, and different worldviews. That’s not for politics; it’s just trying to better engage with and be kinder to a diverse array of people. It’s what the old generations called common courtesy, but somehow because some rules are new or changing or that we’re shattering classical binary models, they’re somehow not valid or not worth respecting? The reality is that “politically correct” things only become that after a sufficiently large group of people find or accept some behavior as being correct or better than the former status quo. Branding oneself as being anti-PC is roughly labeling oneself as being resistant to changing norms in society. You can be politically correct but against tokenization/diversity-for-show, still believing that diversity should be actively promoted to undo structural biases in our societies. To label oneself as against “political correctness” as a whole doesn’t make sense except for in very, very limited circumstances that don’t currently exist. Additionally, not everything has to be a debate. We’re not all fscking Socrates who needs to find the *enlightened* view. You don’t have to find the counterpoint to a way to be kinder/more accepting to people. Decide who you want to be to other people, and when the norms that apply to fit that “ideal you” change, figure out why. Don’t resist them, but seek out the understanding of why those changes have happened or are happening. There’s almost always a reason, and often it’s a darn good one. /rant Maybe I’m especially sensitive to this right now because of how “political correctness” is a term weaponized by wannabe authoritarian demagogues and outright assholes to make basic human decency seem like something to rail against. Likewise with how alt-right trolls want to make everything a debate to “win.” Not everything has to be a debate. It’s a trap meant to gaslight people into questioning being kind and tolerant to others as a default.
Josh H
2019-06-04 06:24:05 +0000 UTCIt's great that you're realizing that you still have unconscious biases and are working on it. Honestly a good way to look at it is; it doesn't hurt anyone to allow gay marriage, use correct pronouns, or have accurate representation in the media. But it hurts alot of people when we refuse to acknowledge their equal humanity. (Side note) Being a Peterson fan can explain some of your issues with your love life...maybe.
Patricia Dysinger
2019-06-02 00:31:55 +0000 UTCBeing empathetic oftenly gets mistaken as being PC. Good to know you can see they are not the same. Hope you get well soon.
Ashley
2019-05-31 23:01:07 +0000 UTCThank you for taking the time to reflect and open up about being in the dark about these types of issues..These kinds of discussions are very crucial and important for the future younger generations that will themselves in turn be ones the contributing to media as well.
Monica Chen
2019-05-31 19:51:27 +0000 UTCDanny You sound so sweet in this podcast. This is definitely not a rant but more of a realization. Don't think to harshly about past statements as you can not go back in time. What is important is that you feel that you have seen a different side to life. If only everyone was able to look at life from someone else's perspective and actually have it effect them. It really does sound as if you have grown from this experience - which is great. On a lighter note I also hate WOKE!! Cringe everytime.
Cathy
2019-05-31 18:41:12 +0000 UTCI agree, cancel culture's not productive, nice to hear you talk about your growth especially when everyone has experienced this to some extent.
Kelly Hodge
2019-05-31 15:50:43 +0000 UTCPersonally, that last part hurt.
Rafranz Davis
2019-05-31 08:45:45 +0000 UTCYou’re wrong about not calling people out especially when those people absolutely know better.
Rafranz Davis
2019-05-31 08:40:28 +0000 UTCI encourage you to look into Han Hyun-Min’s story. Also, I applaud you for coming to terms with your ignorance on these topics. Keep learning, growing and connecting. It’s important to broaden your world view. I know that I am doing the same.
Rafranz Davis
2019-05-31 08:32:41 +0000 UTCThank you Cate :)
DKDKTV
2019-05-31 08:29:53 +0000 UTCI guess you're right. The thought of representation(especially in race) itself is very foreign to me still, since Korea has yet to become really diverse in its demographic of people, so no one really considers this an issue, except for maybe the severe lack of female representation in politics.
DKDKTV
2019-05-31 08:29:45 +0000 UTCIt’s not arbitrary representation. Representation is about recognizing that people not only exist but that their work and skills are valid especially in places like here in the USA where our media and resources are typically majority white. The message that this communicates unconsciously and often consciously has significant impact on everything from assumptions to opportunities that others(we) are allowed to receive.
Rafranz Davis
2019-05-31 08:26:03 +0000 UTCFeel better soon Danny! Can't wait to listen while I'm working today. Makes the day go by faster!
Cate Smith
2019-05-31 08:06:35 +0000 UTC
