Womanhood - Part 3

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PARTS -  Part - 1 | Part - 2 | Part - 4

CHAPTER 9 - CHRIS

At that point, I decided that I was not going to wear anymore of Janice's clothes and to stop taking the hormone pills.  Although Janice didn't like the idea, she agreed to go along with my desires and not try to entice me into wearing her clothes anymore.  I had been wearing my hair fairly long for quite a while and I liked the style.

It that it had nothing to do with my desire to become more feminine, so I decided not to cut it.

The next morning I got up.  Janice's underwear from the previous day was sitting on the chair just it had been every day for so long.  I don't know whether she left them there as a last attempt to get me to wear them or if she had just done it out of habit.  I looked at them for quite a long time.  As I did I could feel a strange feeling come over me.  I was never going to get to wear them again.  A feeling of panic came over me and I could feel a knot growing in my stomach.  Finally, I just went to my drawer and got out my own underwear.

That day at work was a little hard but I was able to function ok.  I had to be strong in order to overcome these desires that I had developed.  The next day I woke up to another one of my headaches.  I took some aspirin and went off to work.  The aspirin did not get rid of the pain to the extent that it usually did, so about Ten O'clock, I took some more.  Also, I was growing a little jumpy.

After I finished lunch I sat down at the computer.  I looked down at my hands and noticed that they were shaking.  A few minutes later Colleen came in to ask me a question.  When she called my name I jumped.  I turned around to face her.  "Are you alright?

You look awful!"  "I'm sorry, I got this headache that I just can't seem to shake, and I haven't been sleeping well lately."  "Maybe you should take a couple of days off.  You really don't look well at all."  "No, that's ok, I'm sure I'll be fine.  What was your question?"  "Sally is having a hard time bringing up the graphics program.  The keyboard locked up on her and she can't seem to get the darn thing to do anything."

After investigating the problem I discovered that I had made a change to one of the batch files on the main computer and as a result it had locked out the graphics program.  I went back in and fixed it and everything was working ok again."  I was pretty shaky for the rest of the day.  With my headache that never went completely away and my nervousness, I'm afraid I wasn't able to accomplish much.  I was glad when the end of the day came and I was able to go home.

CHAPTER 10 - JANICE

When Chris got home I could tell that he was not in the best of shape.  he looked very tired and was very quiet for most of the evening.  This went on for several more days, and by the end of the week he was a complete wreck.  I spoke to him about what he was trying to do and suggested that instead of trying to shake this thing all at once, he might try tapering off slowly in order to lessen the shock to his mind.  (I knew that nothing he did was going to alter the fact that he either he was going to accept his condition or else he would be headed for serious emotional problems.)  He spent most of the weekend resting, but on Monday morning he did not look much better.

That Wednesday I was in my office when I got a call from Colleen at the beauty salon.  "I think you better get down here right away!  There is something terribly wrong with Chris!"  I told the receptionist to cancel the rest of my appointments for the day.

I knew right away what the problem was, but I was not prepared for what I found when I got there.  Chris was in Colleen's office, lying on the floor in a fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably.

Colleen helped me pick him up and sit him on the couch.

There were still a number of customers in the shop so Colleen suggested that we stay in the office for a while.

Colleen called up all the people who had appointments for the rest of the day and canceled them and put up the "closed" sign in the window.  I stayed in the office with Chris trying to comfort him and as the salon slowly emptied out.  The girls, one at a time, came into the office to see how he was doing and to see if they could help in any way.  I was very surprised to see how much concern each of the girls had for Chris.  It was obvious that each of them had developed a close relationship with him and was very concerned about his current situation.

When Sally came in she looked at Chris with the saddest eyes.  She walked over to him, put her arm around his shoulder, and asked, "How are you doing Chris?"  He was just sitting there, shaking like a leaf and sobbing.  After the shop cleared out Colleen came in and informed us that it would be ok to take Chris out now.

Colleen and I helped Chris to his feet and led him out into the shop.  We decided that it would be best if I went and got the car and pulled it up directly in front of the shop.  When I pulled the car around, all of the girls led Chris out the front door and helped him into the car.  Colleen walked around to my side of the car and had me roll down the window.

"Look I don't want you or Chris to worry about this place at all.  He can take as much time off as he needs.  Everything will be waiting for him whenever he's ready to come back."  "Thanks, Colleen.", I said, "but, Chris may be out quite a long time.  He's had an emotional breakdown, and right now, there is no way of telling how severe it is.  He could be laid up anywhere from a couple of weeks to as much as a year."

Colleen looked at me very seriously.  "Janice, Chris has done so much.  Many times when we didn't understand how to do things on the computer, he took extra time to explain things to us, and when I changed my mind as far as how I wanted something set up even if it was after he had that thing already set up.  And when we had to have something explained to us four or five times, he did it without complaining, and he usually blamed himself for not explaining it right the first time.  And I can't count the number of times he spent sixty and seventy hours a week here and I never got billed for any of those hours.

I don't know if I could make it for six months, but as it stands now I plan to wait until Chris gets better and have him come back and finish the job himself.  So you just tell him not to worry about us or the computers, just worry about getting better."

Once again Chris had worked his magic by touching the lives and hearts of people he came in contact with.  I thanked Colleen, trying to hold back my tears of gratitude.

Chris did not say a word all the way home and looked very drawn out and tired.  When we got home I took him up to the bedroom and got him undressed.  As I was undressing him he just stood there with a blank expression on his face.  I even had to sit him down on the bed and pick up his feet one at a time to get his pants off. After I got all of his clothes off, I thought for a second.

I went over to my bureau drawer and got out a bra, two pairs of pantyhose, and a pink satin nightgown.  I walked over to Chris and held out the bra, indicating to him that I wanted him to put his arms through the shoulder straps.  Chris's eyes opened very wide and got a look of terrible fear on his face.  He cried out, without saying anything and started flailing his arms around.

"Stop it!", I shouted, but it had no effect.  At this point, I knew that I was going to have to be more forceful.  I walked up to him and slapped him in the face as hard as I could.  Immediately he stopped swinging his arms and started whimpering.

"That's better.  Now put your arms out so I can put this on you.", I said with agitation in my voice.  (I did not want Chris to see how worried I was.)  He started to cry.  "I'm sorry Chris, but it's the only way you're going to get better.", I said as I slipped the shoulder straps of the bra up his arms and onto his shoulders.

"Now turn around so I can hook it in back."  Chris did not do anything.

After waiting a few seconds I turned him around and hooked the bra in the back.  Then I turned him back around and put a pair of pantyhose in each cup.  With that completed, I slipped the nightgown over Chris's head and down into place.

After I had Chris all dressed I pulled down the bed sheets, laid him on the bed, and pulled the covers over him.  He just lay there with a blank expression on his face.  I sat down on the bed next to him, stroked his hair, and whispered, "I promise you, Chris, you're going to get better.  It may be a long hard fight, but the two of us will get through it."  Chris closed his eyes and was starting to fall asleep, so I got up and left the room as quietly as I could.

Chris had been in bed for about two hours.  I was downstairs reading a book.  All of a sudden I heard him cry out.  He sounded as if he were in a panic.  I ran upstairs to the bedroom to see Chris laying on the bed kicking and screaming.  I ran over to him and tried to hold his arms down, but he was able to push me off.

"Chris, stop it!", I shouted, but he just kept it up.  "Chris, if you don't stop it, I'll have to restrain you!"

I ran to the hall closet, where I kept a doctor bag with a few medical supplies.  I got out a hypodermic needle and a vial of sodium pentothal.  (This is a drug used throughout the medical field as anesthesia.  It is also sometimes used in hypnosis to break down mental barriers and make treatment more effective.)  I filled the syringe, recapped the needle, and ran back into the room. Chris was still kicking and screaming.  I went over to the bed, still holding the syringe.  Holding him down as best I could, I was able to expose his buttocks.  I removed the cap to the needle with my teeth and injected him with the sodium pentothal.  Within about thirty seconds Chris started to calm down and in about a minute he was out cold.

I got out four stockings and tied one to each of the bedposts and then tied his right arm to one, his left arm to another, his right leg to the third stocking, and his left leg to the fourth.  I made sure that all of the knots were tight and secure and then I went downstairs.  I sat down in the living room and tried to assess the situation.

I thought to myself, "If only I had not allowed Chris to stop dressing in my clothes, he never would have fallen apart like he did.

Then I thought about the time that Chris had made me promise him not to let his feelings interfere with what I wanted for him, and I had decided to put it in writing and have us both sign it.

I went to the desk and opened the drawer.  There was an envelope. I picked it up, opened it, and read the contract that we both had signed.

How could I have forgotten the resolve that I had that night and Chris's desire for me to have that resolve?  At that moment I decided that things were going to change.  I was wrong to let him stop dressing in my clothes, and that the only way that this situation was ever going to be resolved was if Chris had a sex change and became a girl.  I decided, first of all, to correct that mistake and then to once and for all, turn my husband into a girl.

I knew that the law would not allow me to force him to have a sex change against his will so I was going to have to use all of my psychiatric skills to try and convince him to become a girl.

CHAPTER 11 - CHRIS

I woke up the next morning with another of my headaches.  When I had a chance to wake up a little I realized that I was tied to the bed.  I called out for Janice and when she heard me she came into the room.   "Well, how are you feeling this morning?"  "Still pretty shaky, but a lot better than yesterday.", I replied.  "You still look pretty pale.  You gave me quite a scare, you know"  "I'm sorry.  It's all like a terrible nightmare to me.  It was as if the whole world was closing in on me.  I couldn't breathe and I was totally overwhelmed."

"What you had was a nervous breakdown.  Luckily you seem to have come out of it, but we have to be very careful for a while, or it could happen again."  "I have another of my headaches.  Could you get me some aspirin?"  She left the room and returned a few minutes later with the aspirin and a glass of water.  "Could you untie me?"  "I think better leave you just the way you are for a while just to be on the safe side.  what you need now is rest.

We can talk later on about when you can be untied and just what the plan of action is going to be forgetting you well again."  Janice went downstairs and without much trouble, I went back to sleep.

I slept for what seemed like a few hours when Janice came back into the room carrying my lunch on a tray.  It was just a few crackers and some broth, she wanted me to eat light for a while. She fed me the soup and crackers.

When I was done she moved the tray to a table and sat on the bed with me.  "How long do I have to stay tied up?", I asked her.

"We have to talk Chris.  And how you react to some things I have to say, will have a great deal to do with how long you have to stay tied up."  "What things?", I asked, "About you, and how things are going to be for you from now on."  "What do mean?"  "I never should have let you stop dressing in my clothes.

I knew you couldn't handle it and now you've had a nervous breakdown and it's all my fault."  "Janice, it's not your fault, it's a decision I've made myself."  "Chris, you're not capable of making decisions for yourself.  I know it, and whether or not you want to admit, you know it too."

I felt very insulted at what Janice had just told me."So, if I'm not capable of making my own decisions and you are, just what decisions are you planning to make for me?"  Janice just sat there with her head hanging down.

Finally, she took a deep breath and let it out, looked up at me, and said, "I'm going to turn you into a woman."  "You can't!  I won't let you!", I said, struggling against my restraints.  "You can't stop me.  Remember, I said your reaction would have a great deal to do with how long you would stay tied up. I'm telling you right now, if I have to, I will leave you tied up the whole time.  It's the only way you'll ever get better."

At this point, I became very angry.  "That's not true.  The only reason you're doing this is to fulfill that fantasy you have always had about turning me into a girl!"  "Look, Chris, I'm not going to deny that I've wanted to do this to you for a long time, but there are two other reasons that can't be overlooked."  "And just what might they be?"  "First and foremost, you couldn't even last a week without wearing my clothes."  Janice then held up an envelope.  Then secondly, there's this."  "What's that?"  She opened the envelope, took out a piece of paper, and held it out for me to read.  "Remember this?  You practically forced me to promise you that I would not even take your feelings into consideration in doing the things that I wanted to do to you.  So, the bottom line is, you are going to become a girl, whether you want to or not." At that point, I just turned my head away and ignored her.  Janice sat there for a few minutes and then finally just got up and left.

CHAPTER 12 - JANICE

When I got up in the morning I called my office and canceled my appointments until further notice.  Any of the more urgent ones I referred to Dr. Shullman then I went up to talk to Chris.  I told him how things were going to change (which he explained to you).

Things went so poorly that at one point, anything I had to say would only upset Chris even more so I decided to leave him alone to think about what I had told him and maybe get used to the idea that he really had no choice.

I had been sitting in the living room for about half an hour when the phone rang.  It was Sally from the beauty Salon, calling to find out how Chris was doing, and if she and the girls could come over to visit.  I explained to her that things were not going too well and that until things settled down a little bit it would probably be a good idea to stay away.  "Why, what's wrong", she inquired.  I wasn't sure whether I should be more specific, but I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and I really wanted to talk to someone.  I remembered how the girls reacted when they found out that Chris was wearing my underwear, so I decided to take a chance and share with her, some of the details.

There was a pause as I prepared myself to tell her what was going on.

"Well, I think you realize that Chris had been wearing my underwear."  "Yes, a couple of the girls in the shop, noticed that. We felt kind of uncomfortable asking him about it, so we mentioned it to Colleen.

She talked to Chris about and he told her it was some sort of game that you liked to play."

"It may have been my idea, but it was him that gave me the idea by staring at me every time I put my makeup on, then another time I had him wear my raincoat out to get the mail, and Sally, he kept it on for another fifteen minutes!"

"It sure sounds to me like it wasn't a one-way street."

"Thank you for saying that, because sometimes I just feel so guilty, but I'm getting off the track here.  As time went on I found it was the only way to get him really sexually stimulated."

"Janice, are you sure that you want to tell me all this."

"I'm sorry, I just feel like I have to talk to someone."  "Well, if that's the case, feel free."  "Thank you, I figured that because you already knew about his wearing women's underwear that if I was going to tell someone, that it should be one of you girls from the shop.

Well, as I was saying, It's the only way I could get him sexually stimulated, and after a while I had him try wearing a pair of my panties to work.  It wasn't long before he got used to that and I had him start wearing other things to work.  At this point, it was still just a game, but after an argument we had he decided that he was not going to wear women's clothes.

An odd thing happened then.

He started getting headaches.

After experimenting a while we discovered that whenever he wore my underwear or some other article of feminine clothing the headaches went away.

At this point, I figured that the headaches must be an anxiety response, and as time went on we discovered that it took more and more to satisfy him."  "Yeah, I remember for a while we noticed he was wearing a camisole. Then one day we noticed he was also wearing a bra."  "But Sally, after a while he needed even more things."

"Well, if he wants to wear women's clothes, and it's obvious that you don't mind, I don't see what the problem is.  I know Colleen told him that she didn't mind.  I even offered to do his hair up like a girl some time and I believe Kathy said she would do his nails."  "Really.  Chris never told me that."  "So, I'm sure it wouldn't cause a problem in the shop, even if he did want to dress like a girl."

"That's not the problem Sally, now he refuses to.  That's what caused him to break down yesterday and even after that he's still giving me a bad time about wearing them."

"But I thought you said he liked wearing women's clothes."  "He does."  "Then why does he refuse wear them, especially after yesterday?"  "I don't know Sally, sometimes he acts so immature.  Honestly, if I didn't know better, sometimes I'd think I was talking to a five year-old."

"You know, it's funny you should say that.  Once I went out to pick up lunch for all of us in the shop.  Chris ordered a roast beef sandwich.  When he got it, he noticed that they had put onions on it.  He raised such a fuss and carried on so.  I don't know what came over me.

I walked and over and told him to stop acting like such a baby.  I opened the sandwich and took out the onions.  He got a real sheepish look on his face settled right down and just ate the sandwich.  It's almost as if he enjoys being treated like a child.

Sometimes I swear he tries to get us girls in the shop to act like his mother, and because he is such an endearing person we just do it.  We're always telling him what to do.  If he does something wrong, we scold him and he seems to like being treated that way."

"He does."  "Well then if he likes being treated like a child, treat him like one.  If he doesn't do what he knows is best for him, scold him.  I can't imagine him refusing after that."  "I did and he's not refusing, he' just pouts."

There was silence for a second and then Sally giggled mischievously.  "What?", I asked.  "I was just thinking maybe he needs a spanking."  (I thought about the time I tied Chris up and put him in the closet.)  "Well, something happened a while back in our marriage, and I promised myself that I would never do anything like that to him."  "Janice, I'm no psychiatrist, but I bet it would work.  I really have to go now.  I'll be calling back to see how Chris is doing.  Everyone in the shop wants to come visit as soon as it's ok."  "Thanks for calling Sally. It really helped talking to you."  "Hay, I was glad to be of help."

After I got off the phone with Sally I decided that it was time for Chris to go on his hormone pills again.  I went to the kitchen where I kept them and got out five.  I knew the dosage that had to be given to him.  It would be three pills, five times a day.

I went up to the bedroom and informed him that I wanted him to take the pills.  He just looked away as if refusing.  "Common Chris, don't be this way."  He didn't move.

I walked over to the bed, crabbed him by the chin, turned his head so that he was facing me, opened his mouth, and stuffed the pills in.  "Now drink this!", I said angrily, holding a glass of water in front of him.  I held the glass as he drank the pills down.  "Since I'm turning you into a girl, I'm going to have to give you your hormones intravenously.  I'll give you the pills for now, but as soon as I get a chance to go out to the drug store and get what I need you'll be getting a needle."

I turned, walked out of the room and went back downstairs.  A few minutes later he called me.  I went up to see what he wanted.

"I have to go pee pee."  I thought for a second.  I had completely forgot about that.  I would have to go out to a drug store and pick up a bedpan.  I went downstairs and got an empty plastic milk jug and went back upstairs.  I flipped back his nightgown and pulled down his panties.  "You know, the way you've been behaving, I should just let you wet the bed and make you lay in it.

I took his penis and put it into the neck of the milk jug.

"Ok, go ahead."  Chris urinated in the milk jug.  After he was finished I pulled his panties back up, flipped his nightgown back down, took the jug and left the room.  After I got downstairs I thought about what Chris had said.  He had never referred to urinating as "pee pee" before.  Everything I tried to do him over the next few days got the same type of reaction from him.

Sally called every day to see how things were going.  She kept telling how I was putting myself through a lot of unnecessary misery.  "Humiliate him a little bit, he'll respond.  I really can't understand what's holding you back, especially if he's treating you this way.

One afternoon I was sitting in the living room.  I thought back to one of the courses I had taken in school.  I had studied about a doctor, who, in order to eliminate an undesired behavior, had brought the patient back to that point in his life that had caused the undesired behavior.  He actually had him acting like a child.  The idea was to get the patient to relearn how to behave.

I thought for a minute.  Could I apply this to Chris?  Say I decide to treat him like a child as Sally had suggested.  I could dress him up like a little girl, teach him to obey me without question (and with enthusiasm), and when he didn't, punish him.

I know I had promised myself never to be cruel to him again, but which would be more cruel, to humiliate him or to let him slowly destroy himself.  I had to think long and hard. was I doing this just because it was a turn on for me, or was it really for Chris's own good.  I thought about for the rest of the day.  That night, I finally decided that it really didn't make any difference weather or not I was going to like doing it to him, as long as Chris got better.

That night as I lay in bed planning the things that I was going to do to Chris.  As I thought about a certain patient came to mind.  Her name was Justine.  She was a sexually dominant woman.

This had caused a lot of problems in her relationships, so she had decided to seek professional help.  After working for three years with Dr. Shullman and finally with me, I finally convinced her that she should become a dominatrix.  She fought the idea for the longest time, but after she decided to try it, she found that this was what she always wanted.  I wondered if I might not be able to use her to help me with Chris.

My mind went wild, thinking of all the things that I could do to Chris.  By five A.M. I could stand it no longer.  I went into our bedroom to talk to Chris.  "Chris?"  "What?", he replied.  He was barely awake and I think my voice startled him a little bit.

"You've been behaving like a spoiled little child, and I'm sick of it.  You know as well as I do what has to be done to you in order to make you well again.  Since you insist on acting like a child, I'm going to treat you like one, and since You must be turned into a girl, I have decided to treat you like a girl child."  "What do you mean?"  "Well, I'm going to start by putting your hair up in banana curls and tieing it up in ribbons.  Then as soon as I get a chance I'm going out and get you some little girls' clothes to wear.  But that's not all.  From now on, if we are to prevent this from driving us both crazy, you are going to have to learn to do whatever I say without question.  Now, in order to accomplish this I have decided to make you do some things that may seem pretty bazaar at first, but maybe, after a while you may even get to like them, but to tell you the truth I really don't care weather you like them or not."  "What kind of things?"  "You'll find out as we go along, but I will tell you this.

I'm going to destroy all of your self respect, that way my job will be a lot easier.  You're going to learn to behave like a little girl.  You will refer to me as "Mommy" and I will refer to you as "Christine".  I'm going to teach you that I am your superior and because the eventual goal is to turn to into a woman, I am going to teach you that women are superior to men and that you are striving to become the superior sex."  Chris just sat there listening.  I could tell already that his attitude was changing.

He was looking at me with wide eyed interest.  "Do you understand?"

"Yes.", Chris replied.  "Yes What!"  "Yes, Mommy."  "That's better."  "This is going to work!", I thought to myself.  With just a little forcefulness Chris's attitude had completely changed.

I went over to my vanity and got my curling iron.  I combed out his hair which was fairly long.  Then I took sections, one at a time and curled them up in the curling iron.  As I was doing it I told Chris that maybe we should dye it blond.  "I think little girls look cuter as blonds.  Don't you?"  "I guess so.", Chris replied.  "You guess so?"  "No, they are.", he said sheepishly.

"Then wouldn't you like me to dye your hair blond?"  "Yes Mommy."

"That's my girl."  I finished curling his hair.  Then I took a hair ribbon, gathered all the banana curls up in the back and tied them with the ribbon and finished it off with a pretty bow."

I went over to my vanity and got a mirror and held it up in front of him to see.  "There, how does Christine like it?", I asked, smiling.  He looked in the mirror.  "It's nice.  I like it Mommy."  "Then should show Mommy how much you appreciate all the hard work she did for you.  And because you're not a real girl, I'm going to have to teach you the ways that you are worthy to show that appreciation."  Christine look at me very confused.  "You can give Mommy a kissy foot."  "What's a kissy foot."  I was not wearing any stockings so I sat on the bed and took off one of the vinyl slippers that I was wearing.  I held my bare foot in front of Christine's face.  "Kiss Mommy's foot."

Christine looked at me, not knowing weather or not to do as he was told.  "Chris!  I said, Kiss it!", I said sternly.  Slowly bent his head forward and kissed my foot.  Then he kissed it again, then again.  Soon he was passionately kissing my foot.  "That's it Christine, show Mommy how much you love her and how happy you are that she's going to turn you into a little girl."

This made Christine kiss my foot even faster.  "Oh Christine, you're such a good little girl!"  I Wiggled my toe between his lips in order to work it into his mouth.  He started sucking on my toe.

I tilted my head back and moaned.  I just lay there for several minutes, enjoying having Christine suck on my toes.  Finally I had him stop.  "Christine.  What a good little girl!  You're learning very fast.  You did a very good job, saying thank you.   If you keep this up, I'll be able to untie you very soon."  "I'll be a good girl, Mommy."  "Mommy is going to show you other ways to say thank you, and I want you to start doing them whenever you want to thank me for something and especially when you want to say you're sorry for something."

I bent down and kissed him on the forehead.  "Mommy has to go out now sweetheart."  I turned to leave the room.  "Mommy."  I turned back to acknowledge him.  "I love you Mommy."  I walked backto him and gave him a hug and a kiss.  "I love you too, Christine."

I turned and left the room, but turned back and blew him a kiss on the way out.

I could not believe my good fortune.  There was a complete turn around in Chris's (now Christine's) attitude.  All my knowledge had told me that he wanted to be dominated and controlled but I guess my guilt feelings about wanting to dominate him made me forget what was so obvious.

I had two places that I had to go.  The first was to the drug store and the other was to an adult book store.  I went to the bottom left hand drawer, which I kept locked.  I unlocked it and took out my prescription pad.  I wrote a prescription for ten, one hundred cc injection vials of estrogen.  I put the pad back in the drawer, locked it again, got my coat and purse and headed out the door.  I decided not to go to the local drug store where I was known, but to one several towns over.  I got the prescription filled and then headed over to the adult book store.

I had never been in one of those stores before, but being trained in psychiatry, I knew just about every type of book that would be sold in a store like that.  I looked around and found the TV/TS Section and started looking through the magazines.  Finally I found what I was looking for, a magazine entitled "Sissy Girls Quarterly".  I was particularly interested in the caption underneath the title, which read "The most complete catalog of little girls clothes anywhere.  Everything you could possibly want to make yourself into the little girl that you always wanted to be."  I was very surprised when I saw how much the magazine cost.

It was slightly thicker than a Time or Newsweek magazine, made up of much heavier paper stock so that it had a lot fewer pages, and it cost thirty dollars.

That was nothing compared to the surprise I got when I got home and looked inside and saw the prices of some of the outfits. But with all of that, there was one pleasant surprise.  They did have the most adorable, ultra sissified outfits that you could imagine and they had a phone number that you could use to order.

I picked out a little girl's party dress with short puffy sleeves and lace trim around the hem, sleeves and neckline.  A very large pink hair ribbon that came pre-tied into a bow came with it.  I also picked out a pair of pink mary jane shoes to go with it.  I also picked the same items in yellow.  I called the number and ordered everything that I had picked out in Christine's size.  The total bill for those four items came to over three hundred dollars.

Having ordered Christine's clothes, I went upstairs with the a hypodermic needle and the one of the vials of estrogen.  As I walked into the room Christine looked at me and smiled.  "Hi Mommy!", he said.  "Hi Sweetheart.", I replied.  "Remember yesterday, when I told you that I would have to give you your hormones intravenously?"  "I don't want to do that!", Christine said with a great deal of apprehension in his voice.  "Well, I'm sorry, but we have to."  "No, please don't!", he asked with fear in his voice.  "Don't fight it Christine, there's nothing you can do about it."  "But I don't want to be turned into a woman."

"Christine, the sooner you accept the fact that you are going to become a woman, the easier it will be for you.  "Please Mommy don't.", he whimpered as I pulled down his panties and pulled up his nightgown.

I had him roll over as far as he could (being tied to the bed) and injected him just above the buttocks with about one quarter of a vial of the hormones.  Then I had him roll over on his other side and  repeated the process.  Then I pulled the nightgown up to his chin and injected him again with about one quarter of the amount the hormones midway between his left armpit and left nipple, and repeated the process on the right side.  Having completed his first set of hormone injections I pulled his panties up and pulled his nightgown down again.  Chris just lay there very quietly.

"I know you feel kind of down now Christine, but you'll get use to it.  Why don't you just get some rest.  You'll feel better after a nap.  I kissed him on the cheek, and walk out of the room.

As soon as I got downstairs, Sally called to see how Chris was doing.  I told her that things were going as well as could be expected.  I told her about the injections and how Christine reacted.

"Well at least he didn't put up much of a fight.  I guess that's progress."  "I know, but I do feel guilty when I have to do things to do things to him that he doesn't want me to do."  "Just keep telling yourself that it's for his own good and that some day he'll thank you for it."  "Thank you for reminding me of that Sally, and I do hope that he will thank me for it some day."  "I'm sure he will.  Have you ever known him to be ungrateful for anything you've done for him?"  "No, It's just so hard now."

"Come on Janice, buck up, it won't last forever, and if you ever need any help just call me.  I'll be glad to help in any way I can."  "Thank you so much for you're encouragement Sally.

If Christine and I get through this and our marriage is saved, I'm going to have you to thank for giving me the strength to do what I had to do."  "Just seeing Christine happy as a happy healthy woman will be thanks enough for me."  I said good-bye and hung up the phone and just sat there for a few minutes thinking how glad I was that Sally had called.

Christine slowly started to feel better over the next few days.  He was starting to accept what was happening to him.  As I saw this change taking place in Christine I began to grow excited in anticipation of being able to dress him up as a little girl.

One morning I got up and decided that I should prepare for the day that I would be able to start dressing him.  I gathered up all of his male clothes and put them in boxes.  I loaded the boxes in the car and told Christine that I had to go out for a while.

There is a Salvation Army Second Hand Store in the area, and I decided that I would donate his clothes to them, that way, just in case Christine decided to give me a bad time about dressing as a girl, he wouldn't have any of his old clothes to put on.  As I was bringing the boxes into the store I noticed a rack off to the side with womens' pocketbooks.  On the rack was a nineteen fifty's style pocketbook that caught my eye.  It was hard sided and made of pink plastic vinyl, rectangular in shape with a short handle designed to be carried in the hand.  There was a flap closure with an old style latch that went through the lid and then turned ninety degrees latch shut.  I hadn't seen that style of pocketbook for many years except for little girls.  Being an adult size, I figured that it would be perfect for Christine.

On my way home I stopped at the drug store to pick up some pink nail polish and matching lipstick.  While I was in there, I noticed a particular bottle of perfume.  It was in a bottle shaped like a ballerina and the perfume inside had a pink tint to it.  The fragrance was called lilac.  I bought the perfume, nail polish, and lipstick.  When I got back to the car, I decided to put the things I had bought in the pocketbook and give it to Christine as a present.  I made one more stop on my way home.  I stopped at a debarment store and bought two pairs of pink tights, two pairs of yellow tights, two pairs of pink ankle socks with lace trim, and two pairs of yellow ankle socks with lace trim.

The morning Christine's new clothes that they arrived I unpacked them.  I could not believe how cute that they looked and in addition to the hair ribbon, there was a petticoat that came with the dress.  I took the pink outfit and went up to the bedroom.

"How's my little girl this morning?", I asked.  "Ok, Mommy.", Christine replied.  "Look what Mommy has for you."  I held up the pink satin party dress.  "Oh!", Christine said with a great deal of surprise in his voice.  "Oh, is that all you have to say?"  "It looks very pretty, Mommy."  "Would you like to try it on?"  "Yes, I guess so, but how can I?"  "Christine you've been a good girl for the last few days and you've been tied to the bed for the last ten days.  I think that you're well enough to get up."  "Really Mommy!"

"Yes.  If you promise to be a good girl."  "I promise!", Christine said with excitement.  One at a time I walked around to each corner of the bed and untied the stockings from his wrists and his ankles.

"I'm going to go fill the tub so you can take a bath.

I want you to sit her for a few minutes."  Christine was looking pretty bad  His hair was a mess and he needed freshening up in general.  I went in to the bathroom and started Christine's bath.  I put some of my bath oil in the water so that he would smell nice and pretty.  Having run his bath I returned to the bedroom.  "When we finish your bath, we'll shave you, get you dressed, do your hair, and pretty you up."

When Christine tried to get up he almost fell over.  "Take it easy Sweetheart, you haven't been out of bed for a week and half. Sit down and then try getting up slowly."  After a few minutes and several attempts Christine slowly grew steadier on his feet.  After a while he was able to make it to the bathroom and get into the tub.  I gave Christine his bath just like he was a little girl.  I washed him all over.

When I got to his penis, I said, "It's time to wash your nasty Pee Pee."  "What's wrong with my Pee Pee?", he asked.  "little girls don't have a Pee Pee.", I said trying to place in his mind that it was something to be ashamed of.  "I'm sorry Mommy.", he replied.  "Well, maybe we can do something about it someday." Christine did not reply, but I placed in his mind, the thought of someday losing it.

When I finished washing him, I shampooed and conditioned his hair and wrapped it in a towel, turban style.  Then I got him out of the tub and dried him off.  When he was dry, I took my electric razor and shaved his legs and underarms.  Then I powdered him up with some of my scented talc.  Then I took Christine back to the bedroom.  "Well.  It's time to get my little girl dressed."  I went to my draw an got out a pair of pink tap pants and a matching camisole.  I handed them to Christine and told him to them on.

Then I placed the petticoat on the floor and had him step into it and pulled it up around his waist.  "Next is your pretty new pink dress!"  I gathered up the dress and slipped it over Christine's head and down into place.  The petticoat made the skirt flare out in a most delightful way.  I turned him around and zipped it up in back, then I took him by the hand and led him over to my vanity chair.

He was about to sit down without clearing the dress, so I showed him how to put his hands in back and hold the skirt part of the dress straight while he sat down.  "I've got a special surprise for you Christine."  "What is it Mommy?"  "Wait right hear."  I left the room and got the pocketbook that I had bought for Christine.

I returned a few minutes later holding it up for him to see.

"This is for you sweetheart."  "It's a pocketbook.  Oh Mommy, it's so pretty."  "Do you think so?  I wasn't sure weather you would think so or not."  "Can I hold it?"  "Not yet, I have to do your nails first."  I set the purse down on the vanity.

I took my nail file and filed Christine's nails so that they were all even and uniform.  With that done I took the pink nail polish out of Christine's pocketbook and applied a coat to his nails.  Then I knelt down in front of him to do his toenails.  "Am I being a good girl?", Christine asked.  "Yes you are sweetheart."

He lifted his foot up to my face.  "Say, thank you, Mommy."  "You cute little imp."  I bent over and kissed his toes.  Christine giggled.  "Now let's get back to work."  I applied nail polish to Christine's toes.  I let the polish dry for about fifteen minutes and applied a second coat to his fingers and toes.  Waiting another fifteen minutes, I applied the third and final coat.

When I was done with Christine's nail polish I proceeded to do his hair.  I undid the towel that was wrapped around his head, got out my blow drier and brush and started brushing it out and drying it.  As soon as I started brushing his hair, Christine asked if he could hold his new pocketbook.  "Not yet Honey, your nails need a little more time to dry."  Christine just stared at the pocketbook longingly.

After a few minutes I felt sorry for him.  "Sweetheart, why don't we try something, I said.  I took the blow drier and held it over his fingertips, waving it back and forth.   After about thirty seconds I lightly touched his nails to see if the polish was completely dry.  They were so I did the same thing to his other hand.  When I was done, I picked up the pocket book,  put the nail polish back, and handed it to him.  "There you go Dear."  Christine took the pocketbook and hugged it.

When I finished drying and brushing Christine's hair, I took two elastics, parted his hair down the middle,  Leaving a small section of hair in front, which I combed forward.  Then, using the two elastics, I put his hair in pigtails.  His hair, in front, was fairly long and hung down almost to his nose.  I brushed it straight and then took a pair of scissors and cut it straight across, even with his eyebrows giving him bangs.  Then I took my curling iron and curled his bangs under in a tight curl.  After that I used the curling iron to make banana curls of each pigtail.

With the hair style I had given him I was unable to use the large hair bow that came with the outfit, so I two pink hair ribbons and tied them in bows over each elastic.

All during the time that I was doing his hair, Christine was playing with the pocketbook.  He opened it, closed it, put the handle over his wrist and held it.  Then every now and then he would just hug it.  "You really like your pocketbook, don't you, Christine."  "I think it's pretty.", he said smiling and looking down at it.  "And do you like your new dress and your pretty pigtails?"  Christine looked in the mirror and smiled.

"I'm pretty too.", he said.  "How about your pretty fingernails and your pretty toenails?"  "They all look very pretty Mommy.  Thank you."  "Would Christine Really like to say thank you to Mommy?"  "Yes.", he replied.  "Because I'm going to show you a new way to say thank you to Mommy.  Come with me."

I took Christine by the hand and led him over to the bed.

"Now I going to show you how to do Licky Bum."  I reached up under my dress and pulled down my panties.  Then I knelt down on the bed holding my dress up.  Then I bent over, flipping the back of my dress over my back, and then resting on my elbows, leaving my buttocks hanging up in the air.  "Kiss my crack Christine."

Christine just stood there with a confused and slightly scared expression on his face.  "Christine, I said kiss my crack!", I ordered him sternly.  Slowly he walked forward, bent down and kissed me.  "Don't stop, keep it up."  Again he bent down and kissed me.  Then he kissed me again.  "That's it Sweety, keep it up."  Soon Christine was getting into it, kissing me all up and down my crack.  "Now, stick your tongue out and lick me." Christine stuck his tongue out and licked me on the cheek.  "Not there, lick me in the crack." Slowly, Christine stuck out his tongue and just touched my crack.  I felt a tingle go through my body, but I not jump or flinch in any way.  I didn't want to upset Christine, because at this point, I desperately wanted him to do more.

Ever since I was a little girl I had wondered what it would be like to have someone put their tongue inside my hole, and lately with the situation that I had Christine in, that curiosity had grown tremendously.  Christine again stuck out his tongue and touched my crack.  Again, I felt electricity go through my body.

"That's it Sweetheart, lick Mommy's crack."  Soon Christine was running his tongue up and down my crack, over my open hole.  He did this for several minutes.  "Christine?"  He stopped for a second and asked, "What?", "You keep running your tongue over my hole.

Why don't put it inside?"  Again I could sense Christine's hesitation.  "Come on Sweetheart, you can do it."

Slowly he once again he moved his face toward my buttocks.

Then I felt it.  Christine placed the tip of his tongue inside my open hole.  It was as if a gigantic burst of electricity went through my body.  My whole body quivered.  "Ohhh, Christine, Sweetheart, My Love, that's unbelievable!"  Christine was surprised at my excitement and I think I gave him encouragement to continue in spite of his initial hesitation.  Again he pushed his tongue into my hole.  This time a little farther.  Again I cried out in excited approval.  Christine pushed his tongue even further.  Soon he was pushing and pulling his tongue in and out of my hole.

As Christine continued, I was writhing in ecstacy.  As I displayed my pleasure Christine began to grow more enthusiastic, trying to thrust his tongue deeper into my hole.  At one point I was twitching and wiggling with so much excitement, that he had to wrap his arms around me in order to keep his tongue in my hole.

Christine was holding on so tight that it was as if he was enjoying it as much as I was.

After several minutes I collapsed on the bed exhausted. Christine laid down on top of me, kissing my buttocks.  When I finally regained my composure I indicated to Christine that He should stop.  "What a good girl.", I said to him softly.  I got up from the bed, took Christine by the hand and led him over to my vanity.  "Can I get something to drink to wash the taste out of my mouth?", he asked.  "What taste?", I asked.  Christine hesitated a few seconds.  "The taste of your bum."  I sat him down.  "No you can't Christine."

"Why not?"

"Because I want you to learn an important lesson.

"What lesson?"  "To do whatever I ask without question.  If you can learn to do something as degrading as putting your tongue inside my hole, without hesitation, just because I asked you to, and to obey me when I tell you not to rinse out your mouth, then it will be a lot easier to turn you into the woman that you have to become in order to be truly happy.

When I asked you to put your tongue inside my hole, you were very hesitant, but after you knew that it was what I wanted you to do, and you saw that I was enjoying it, you started to grow more enthusiastic.  I think you did this because you are slowly starting to realize that I know what's best for you, that's what I want to see more of.  You see Christine, I want you to realize that I am the only one who does know what's best for you, and that I alone should decide weather or not something as simple as rinsing out your mouth is best for you.

Now, I want you to get use to the taste of my bum juices, because you're going to taste a lot more of them and as time goes on, and who knows, you may even grow to like the taste.  Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you Christine?"  "I guess so Mommy, I'll try my best to learn."  I placed my hand on his cheek and smiled.  "You enjoyed making Mommy happy, didn't you?"

Christine did not say a word.  He just smiled and nodded his head yes.

"Eventually you'll be asking me if you can do things like kiss and lick my toes, and put your tongue inside my bum hole, just because it makes me happy."  At that point I figured that I better get Justine involved.  Chris's attitude had changed to the point where I think could bring him to the next level of acceptance of his eventual role.  I called her and informed her of the next part of my plan and just exactly what I wanted her to do.