💙 Agony Aunt-Tea 💙 [December 2020] [Let's Talk About You] [Want Some Advice From a Real Degenerate?]

Hey Kenneth - I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Losing someone is incredibly difficult and I'm truly sorry you're having to go through it. My best advice would be to allow yourself to grieve in whatever way it manifests. We often have this idea that grief is this immediate, overwhelming sadness that makes us sob uncontrollably for months. However, I believe grief can present in many, many different ways. Fortunately, there is no one way to grieve, and however you are processing your loss is completely okay and normal. You say that it feels empty. Emptiness is a common sensation when loss happens, and it’s healthy that you’ve recognised it. Aside from allowing yourself to go through the motions, I would also suggest you keep in touch with those close to you and let them know how you’re coping. Sometimes just talking to someone and knowing they’re hearing you can make such a big difference. You need to know that whatever you’re feeling it’s okay because it is. Finally, when the time feels right, I would suggest that you look back fondly on the time you had with the person you lost. This might take a while, or it might not, but cherishing their memories might bright you some much needed comfort. Once again, I am so very sorry for your loss. Please take as much as time as you need, and know that there is no wrong way to grieve. All the very best, Tea

TeacupAudio

Hiya, Tea. Hope everything is going well for you and yours this close to Christmas. How do you cope with sudden, unexpected loss? This isn't my first time going through it, and it feels like there's been so much of it these last two years, but it doesn't feel real. One weekend, you're talking to them and catching up, next you hear, they're gone. It's just empty, and I don't believe it. Your audios have been a comfort through this, but man does it blow.

Hey Coby - First of all, I think, most genuinely, you do you. If thinking that way is a comfort for right now, then you do that. Secondly, I know I don’t know you, but it does sound to me like rather than accept this notion that you’ll never find the one, you’d actually prefer to do the opposite and feel like hope it still alive. If that isn’t the case then I apologize. But if it is, I’m pleased to say, hope is still (and always will be) very much alive. Love happens everywhere, for people of all ages, situations, and lifestyles. Just because it hasn’t happened yet, doesn’t mean it won’t. If you want to have a real relationship with someone wonderful then I don’t think you should give up on that. All that being said, I can totally understand your feelings of deflation. The hard pill to swallow in this is that nothing good comes easy. It’s highly unlikely that anyone’s first stint at dating leads to anything long-term. Good things take time, perseverance, and a lot of effort. And relationships are absolutely included in this. My very clumsy point is that if you want something you need to go after it. The very fact that you’re trying to come to terms with not finding the one, suggests to me that you’d like nothing more than to find the one. And that’s absolutely more than okay. Everyone wants to be loved, everyone wants to be accepted. It’s human nature and it’s perfectly normal. As I said, you do whatever works for you right now. Moods are fickle, and sometimes we just need to feel things as they come. Just know that it feels a lot better to go after what you want than it does to resign yourself to the bench. You are not a spectator in your life. You have choices to make. Make the ones that are gonna benefit you. All the best, Tea

TeacupAudio

Is it healthy to come to peace or accepting that I will never find The One? I think this way because I haven’t been able to find or meet anyone who remotely is interested or available. I have been encouraged by my brother who’s a major player to meet women, but when I try, something happens that prevents me from doing it like COVID from this year. I have gone on dates and have had sex but nothing else came from those, and I guess have to accept that I’m going to single/alone for the rest of my life.

Coby-O