In 2020...

(Photo Taken in 2015, Christmas, while still overseas in the Military. I even remember exactly what I was thinking about: Absolutely fucking nothing.)

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the last few days, which is dangerous, I know! But all jokes aside, I’m about ready to go about explaining myself again, but in full... when the time comes.

I’m not sure what I’ve said in the past about the horrible situation I’ve really been in since graduating college in 2009. And I’m not going to get into specifics yet... but it looks like I’m finally looking at the end of that long hard road.

Let’s just say that I have every reason to be a greedy little dirtbag. In fact, to get out of this situation I really, REALLY should have been. Especially when commissioners are offering to pay me hundreds more than I deserve. I don’t like it and I’ve never accepted it.

I don’t accept charity. (Yoko was literally born from this concept, funny enough. What if someone wanted to pay all my problems away!)

But there are events in my life that have, as I have certainly mentioned, given me a fear/respect for... money. So anytime I consider doing anything specifically for money (such as making a VN or starting my own real tickling clip studio), I  eventually shut down and am unable to complete it.

And there are other events that have made me be unable to trust any individual I have ever met. I even trust my best friends much less than they deserve. But it wasn’t one event that did any of this. It was a long, almost laughable string of unfortunate events.

One such event was: someone of blood, pushed me out of a company so they could collect more money for themself. Knowing full well that I was dealing with this other big- money related issue.

It’s really funny. I could write a drama about certain events that have happened in my life- and that shit would be good, dramatic TV. 

I shit you not. Some of the things that have happened, as you may have seen attached to my Pocahontas pic I posted when I left service, are the kinds of things that make you think: “Real people don’t do that.” But you’d be surprised by how depraved, sneaky and petty people really can be.

Especially good, close friends... or even blood.

Which apparently may be why my health has finally gone to shit. I was a dumb, sweet kid. Now I’m a bitter, productive shit.

Regardless, the reason I haven’t and still won’t get into specifics is that I still hate charity. I’m not here to squeeze any money out of anyone. I’m here to create. That’s all I want to do. I want to create and share that with people. With no real end game.

I have no plans where there’s an end goal. I wanna make comics. I wanna make games and have a studio and live with my wife. And just keep doing those things until I kick the bucket.

That’s it. I’m a simple fucking guy. I don’t need no expensive car or big mansion. Just a normal fucking house I‘ll get like everyone else that can even manage to get one.

So in 2020, when the dust is cleared and the weight comes off my chest, I’ll finally explain in 100% detail what I’ve been doing and what I’ve been fighting.

Then I’ll probably take a week off and... cele-fucking-brate.

After that: We’re back to business as usual. But... maybe my work will be better? Or maybe it’s true that your best work only comes from suffering?

I’m actually low-key excited to find out.

Cheers! 8)