[Column][ENG] Talking about life and creative activity schedules

----------------------------------

/ INTRO

This time, I'd like to talk about my life and creative activity schedule.

The reason is that this is currently the time when my condition is at its worst, and I can only write, so I wanted to let you know that I'm alive.

So you don't have to read the rest.

After all, there’s nothing different in my activities before and after writing this, but there's a risk that people might think, "Wow, this guy is really a pain." Still, since it involves my future activities, it's a dilemma.

So,

What's the deal with regularly feeling unwell?

The cause is the curse placed on me, 'Circadian Rhythm Sleep Disorder.'

----------------------------------

/ What's that?

I don't want to write about anything with "Disorder" attached to it, but please keep it in mind as knowledge.

Simply put, it's a condition where the daily rhythm doesn't follow a 24-hour cycle. In my case, my schedule shifts by about one hour each day.

If I wake up at 6 a.m. today, I'll be waking up at 1 p.m. next week. It's different from a reversed day-night cycle.

The human internal clock is generally longer than 24 hours, usually by 10 minutes to an hour or more. This gets adjusted by sunlight, meals, and social interactions, so normally there's no problem. However, in my case, this mechanism doesn't work well, and my daily rhythm keeps shifting.

----------------------------------

/ Difficulties in treatment

A challenging aspect of this disorder is the difficulty of treatment.

Firstly, there are very few hospitals that specialize in this.

In my rural area, the local hospital has a sleep clinic, but it doesn't deal with this rhythm disorder. Even searching online, I found only a few hospitals in Japan that address it. There are probably more, but even if so, it requires significant time and expense to travel.

You might think, "Isn't that the same for other conditions?" But with a daily rhythm that shifts by an hour, maintaining a stable income is difficult, and I can't even cover the high travel costs.

Additionally, not just for this rhythm disorder but for other conditions too, continuous treatment is challenging, which delays symptom improvement.

For example, "I was seen today at 10:00 am. Next week, 5:00 pm, please. The week after that, 0:00 am." is unrealistic. This applies not just to hospitals but also to commercial facilities, resulting in an inability to participate in most social activities.

----------------------------------

/ Difficulty in social contact

There might be suggestions to create a schedule that shifts by one hour every day, but there's a barrier here too. That barrier is 'other people.'

People adjust their internal clocks through sunlight, meals, and social life. Interaction with others causes further shifts in the internal clock, making treatment even more difficult.

It sounds selfish, but this reluctance to be perceived that way probably contributes to the low awareness of this rhythm disorder.

I know of only two famous people who have this condition: a singer-songwriter and a manga artist. Both primarily work in professions that don't involve much interaction with others, which, while a small sample size, but conversely, that small number indicates the difficulty of living for people with rhythm disorders.

If there's someone with this rhythm disorder working in a profession that involves regular interaction with others (in this case, a job with set working hours), I deeply respect them.

The fact that they are understood by those around them and have found a way to work that accommodates their condition is a testament to their skills and effort.

Looking back, I think I had this condition in my early teens. I only became aware of it in recent years, after it became too late to fix everything.

I used to work at a flower shop through a friend's introduction. The relationships, ease of commute, and working hours were all excellent, but at that time, I wasn't aware of my condition. It wasn't about whether others understood it, and it seems that even when I went to the hospital, I was often misdiagnosed with depression.

----------------------------------

/ Periodic out of tune

So,

Regarding the timing I mentioned earlier when I feel the worst, the days when I wake up between 11 PM and 3 AM are the worst for me.

I can't shake off the fatigue, and my mind doesn't function well.

I can't do any creative activities, like producing new works.

On the other hand, on days when I go to bed between 9 PM and 11 PM and wake up between 5 AM and 7 AM, I feel extremely good.

However, this is just me feeling good; in reality, it might just be the same as how normal people feel.

----------------------------------

/ The Lifeline of AI and Summary

To be honest, in my case, it's not so much that I wanted to do doujin work, but rather that doujin was the only thing I could do.

Of course, I chose doujin work as something I wanted to do from a few options available, but digital doujin, where I don't have to meet anyone face-to-face and I'm not bound by time, was perfect for me at this moment.

And AI assistance has further supported my life.

It's been helping me when I couldn't produce anything that made money.

Of course, it doesn't mean I can live off it alone, but the fact that it brings in any income at all is amazing.

I am immensely grateful to my patrons who support my activities.

Really, truly, thank you.

Because I feel guilty about not being able to give back with proper works, I wrote this to express my feelings.

Now that I'm feeling a bit better, I'll finally get back to creating.