The Weapon Master Shall Never Die Bare-Handed in Genshin Impact [374]

Lan was busy handling affairs at the Adventurers’ Guild when she found herself being approached yet again.

With a sigh of resignation, she stepped out to see who it was this time—only to find Lumine, once again pushing Jia Changjiang in his wheelchair, with Paimon floating at her side.

“…You two again?”

Lan rubbed her temples. “I already told you, the Adventurers’ Guild does not need funeral services. You know how strange Hu Tao’s business philosophy is.”

“We’re not here to sell funeral services.”

Lumine grinned confidently. “Lan, have you ever heard of… life insurance?”

“…Insurance?”

Lan blinked. “What’s that?”

Jia Changjiang and Lumine launched into their well-rehearsed pitch. “Life insurance is a service that ensures a person’s affairs are taken care of in the event of unexpected accidents—”

Lan’s face darkened. “So it is about Wangsheng Funeral Parlor again?”

“Just hear us out first!” Lumine insisted. “At least listen to the full explanation before kicking us out!”

And so, over the next half-hour, Lumine and Jia Changjiang carefully explained the concept, benefits, and necessity of life insurance.

They weren’t trying to sell insurance outright—they simply wanted people to understand its importance.

After all, adventurers spent their days climbing mountains, braving ruins, and facing untold dangers. If anyone needed insurance, it was them.

Now, when it came to persuasive speaking… Jia Changjiang wasn’t sure if his own skills were particularly great.

But Lumine?

Lumine had maxed out her charisma and social skills.

From Mondstadt to Liyue, her connections were endless.

Sure, she was a bit of a scoundrel sometimes, but—

Ever since she joined the Adventurers’ Guild, Mondstadt had developed a second legendary figure alongside Noelle.

If you were in a tough spot and willing to offer the right reward, sooner or later, a golden-haired traveler with a floating companion would show up to accept your request…

And, occasionally, if you were really lucky, that golden-haired traveler’s substitute would appear instead—a certain powerhouse wielding a massive weapon, taking on tasks just to grind out small side quests.

Yes, that brute was Jia Changjiang.

One commission, two paychecks—he was making bank.

...

In the end, after much convincing, Lan finally relented and agreed to introduce the concept of insurance to the adventurers. Whether or not they would actually purchase it wasn’t her problem.

Pleased with their success, Lumine strutted back to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor, proudly delivering the good news to Hu Tao.

“Oh? You two actually have a knack for business?”

Hu Tao eyed them with interest. “I’ve been trying to strike a deal with the Adventurers’ Guild for ages, and you two sealed it in half an hour?”

“That’s called skill.”

Lumine’s nose was practically pointed at the sky. “Though, I am surprised you were willing to go along with this. I figured this kind of business wouldn’t be open to such modern ideas.”

“Even a funeral parlor has to keep up with the times!” Hu Tao declared. “If we don’t expand our clientele, wouldn’t our customers just keep decreasing?”

“…Do you really think Wangsheng Funeral Parlor will ever run out of business?” Jia Changjiang raised a brow. “Isn’t it a monopoly in Liyue?”

That suddenly reminded him of Zhongli.

Hu Tao was out here tirelessly expanding the business while Zhongli… was out there spending it.

No wonder she had to work so hard—she had a freeloading consultant to support.

“Ah, expansion is crucial!” Hu Tao nodded sagely. “I’ve tried many different marketing strategies!”

“But deals like the one with the Adventurers’ Guild… haven’t had much success.”

She thought for a moment before adding, “Though I did put up an ad on our wooden sign once—something like, ‘Present this token and enjoy a buy one, get one free deal!’”

“…What exactly were you offering?” Paimon asked warily.

“A sturdy, long-lasting second home!” Hu Tao said proudly. “Wangsheng Funeral Parlor only uses the finest materials. Even after being buried for decades—centuries, even—our caskets will remain intact!”

She added, “You know what they say—‘Thirty years without a coffin? You’ve got guts!’ That’s why we also offer pre-order services.”

Hu Tao turned to Jia Changjiang. “How about reserving one for yourself? Since you’re technically working for me now, I’ll give you the best possible discount!”

“…How much of a discount?”

Jia Changjiang instinctively patted his wallet.

“Hey! Mr. Jax, don’t let her talk you into this!” Paimon yelled.

“…But I couldn’t afford to die in my last life, and now I’m in a world where I can get a discount on it. Maybe I should make preparations just in case…”

Jia Changjiang muttered to himself, though he ultimately refrained from pulling out his money.

“Oh, right! Lao Meng, write up a new advertisement.” Hu Tao clapped her hands and instructed, “Once it’s done, hang it up outside.”

“I just had a brilliant idea. Whether it’s new or returning customers, everyone should get the VIP treatment! So, write this down—”

‘Wangsheng Funeral Parlor’s Limited-Time Promotion! Buy One, Get One Free! Buy Two, Get Three! The More You Buy, The More You Save!’

“Well? Doesn’t it have a fresh, eye-catching appeal?”

Lao Meng, seeing there was no way to stop her, finally accepted his fate and went off to write the sign.

Before leaving, he hesitated and turned back. “Master… don’t forget about Wolf Bro’s case…”

“I got it, I got it.” Hu Tao waved dismissively. “It’s on my mind.”

“Well then, team!”

She fluttered her eyelashes playfully. “Time to visit our potential customers…”

“…‘Our’?”

Lumine glanced at Jia Changjiang.

She personally didn’t mind tagging along—Hu Tao, despite being eccentric, was a lively and entertaining girl.

She was totally worth hanging out with.

“I’ll go,” Jia Changjiang agreed. “As long as we have time to spar at some point, I’ll do whatever.”

“Hm? That’s all you want?” Hu Tao smirked. “Oh my, it looks like I won’t have to pay you two wages after all…”

“…?”

Seeing how quickly Hu Tao accepted, Jia Changjiang found himself deep in thought.

Had he set his price too low?

Maybe he should’ve thrown in a duel with Zhongli while he was at it…

“Well then, let’s get moving!”

Hu Tao cheerfully skipped ahead. “Come on, don’t just stand there! We’ve got clients waiting!”

---

T/N: most of my money goes to life insurance...

hehehe im in lov with hutao

This is a fan translation of 武器大师在原神绝不死于徒手 by 徐人双 All rights to the original work belong to the creator. Please support them by exploring their original work or sharing it with others if you can. Thank you for reading and supporting my efforts to bring this story to a wider audience!