)O( A Life List Update )O(

I want to apologize for not being able to keep up with the speed of my life in the past two months. It's simply too much for me to handle, but I'm doing my best to keep up. Instead of a narrative style entry today, I want my exclusive readers to see this list of what I am experiencing right now. I will absolutely do my best to post again in the next few days, not only because I value sharing my inner world here, but because I really appreciate that you care about what is going on. Hang on to your butt, it's a crazy list

1.) I have achieved a completely new level of self mastery. My emotions do not flow through me in the same ways as before. Life has truly become the Allness of Now. Each day is an opportunity to allow, accept, acknowledge, achieve, and arise. Though the rate of the world's horrors is ever taxing, somehow I continue to grow.

2.) I need to renew my passport. I'm not late yet, but going to the American Embassy gives me several forms of anxiety. My plan is to recruit a couple of American expats to go with me for moral support.

3.) My US ATM card expired and it's a pain in my ass. No idea how to fix that currently, definitely causing a few problems that I need to resolve.

4.) My relationship with a certain metal Trans girl has reached some sort of awesome homeostasis. We aren't dating, but we aren't just friends either. I love her.

5.) I didn't get a chance to start writing my Nutcracker parody, I MUST get that done in two weeks flat now for best results omg.

6.) School starts again, TODAY. It was SO much fun to have a real vacation. I actually took it wholeheartedly. Pix ASAP.

7.) I've identified my survivor's guilt but it keeps growing as the situation at home deteriorates. I just keep reminding myself that my new life wouldn't exist if I had chosen a path of martyrdom.

8.) I am deeply considering the notion of resuming journalistic coverage of events at home on social media. It will be hard on me, but it's also something I'm good at and it helps people.

9.) I may have to sever ties with the Martial Arts studio I've called my home for more than two years now. I'm very displeased with 2 out of the 3 owners, and only time will tell what becomes of this situation.

10.) There's this girl in my life that has been in my life since I was like 23 years old. It's complicated and most of our interactions have been long distance or online. The last time we saw each other was 16 years ago, when she came to visit me and Deven. She now lives in Phnom Penh and is currently looking for a job. It's absolutely wild af that such a thing occurred, let alone with the actual details that accompany this story. With my whole heart, I hope she loves it here, finds a job that she enjoys, and settles into the Kingdom of Wonder.

Honestly, I could go on, but that's a pretty good snapshot of the complexity. I really want to find the mental space and physical time to write about my spiritual practices and how they are developing, but goddamn it life is moving at the speed of light right now. Speaking of which, I gotta blast. Thank you for being here, it means a lot. <3