What gets in the way of accessing pleasure in your body right now?
Added 2025-08-08 12:07:01 +0000 UTC
Let’s get honest for a moment…pleasure isn’t just about sex or climax. It’s about feeling present, connected, and safe enough in your body to receive something safe, good, fun, and pleasurable.
But for a lot of folks I work with, pleasure feels complicated. Sometimes even threatening.
💭 Maybe pain gets in the way.
💭 Maybe touch feels numb, disconnected, or “too much.”
💭 Maybe shame, trauma, or stress puts your body in protect mode.
And it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your nervous system is doing its job sometimes a little too well!
So, what gets in the way of feeling pleasure in your body right now? And what’s one thing that helps you come back to yourself, even just a little? No pressure to have it figured out. Just share what feels honest. I’ll be reading through comments and reflecting with you.
Comments
Rex, thanks for trusting us with your heart. I’m celebrating the progress you’ve made because finding pleasure beyond erections is a big milestone that deserves recognition. I’m glad you’re exploring stretches, pelvic floor health, and new erotic zones. I’ll keep the content coming, promise.
susie@drsusieg.com
2025-08-09 15:35:09 +0000 UTCThanks for sharing your story with us, Jeff. I’m celebrating your recovery and that light at the end of the tunnel. So glad the pain’s easing. You're right - erections can shift when there’s a threat response or anticipation of pain. Rebuilding safety and confidence with your body is a personal process, and pleasure doesn’t have to be penis-only. Exploring other areas that feel good can help. A sex therapist could be a great ally. And your kind words mean a lot. We’ve got a pelvic wand “how-to” with live demo coming Sept 10 and 11!
susie@drsusieg.com
2025-08-09 15:33:02 +0000 UTCHonestly, I think it's a combination of all three. A little history: I have had chronic pelvic pain, persistent for over 15 years. I had ongoing pain in the perineum, testicles, and penis, and during ejaculation. I have been consistently undergoing pelvic floor physical therapy for most of the 15-year duration, with some symptom management, and starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. I have two pain challenges that are left, but they are getting better every day. The first one is that I used to get frequent morning erections that are prolonged (lasting hours) and very painful. This was very tough to handle as I would try everything to get the erection to go down, from doing manual therapies on myself, taking sitz baths, and even trying masturbation, which would not work due to the pain. Luckily, the frequency of this happening is now down to once or twice a month. The last thing is pain during ejaculation. This has also decreased in frequency, thank God, but it is a major stress point. I have episodes of erectile dysfunction, where the erection subsides before ejaculation, likely related to the anticipation of pain. Pain anticipation has possibly conditioned a negative response, and it's contributing to performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction. The psychological impact of chronic painful ejaculation has likely led to me having a mental block or shutdown during sexual activity, especially before orgasm. Dr Susie, I'm sure you have other patients who have something similar going on and may have some advice on how to handle it. I have been watching your videos for years, and you truly are an innovator in the field of pelvic floor physical therapy, especially when it comes to men, and educating urologists that there are other treatments for handling pelvic pain. Keep up the great work. I do have an idea for you for a hands-on demo video. A few years ago, I had my physical therapist create a video of her performing internal manual therapies on me using an Intimate Rose pelvic wand. She created this so that my wife and my mother-in-law, who was a nurse, could help me out with my pelvic pain. In the video, she goes over the pelvic floor using the same Model that you have, going over all the pelvic floor muscles and what she will be going over. If you like, I can send you the video so you can see how she handled this training. I think you could create a super training video that would incorporate all the aspects of using a pelvic wand. All I know is that having my wife and mother-in-law be trained to help me was a pivotal factor in helping me get my pelvic pain under control.
Jeff
2025-08-09 12:47:14 +0000 UTCmy number 1 is pain but I have shared some very personal stories from my past and medical history. so most of you know that I've had a lot of shame, trauma and stress in my life making it difficult to even solo play at times being alone for almost 16yrs. now. Between D.r. Susie's teachings and the support of this community and others issues, I feel I'm not alone in my struggles. I still feel awkward discussing my sexual health at times specially ED, as Danny has said. Nothing else make me feel like less of a man and a life not worth sharing with a woman. I'm learning about my pelvic floor, and stretches needed for it's health. I've learned pleasures are not just sex or how well my boner preforms, still learning my bodies erotic zones at 62 yrs. old. Keep that content and videos coming little lady! "I need it more than you know"
RJ S
2025-08-08 17:50:19 +0000 UTC
