Somehow, the Countryside is Different: True End: Reimu

Somehow, the Countryside is Different: True End: Reimu

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Commissioned by Arksoul and Chaosbrain

Wordcount: 3500

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“Onii-chan,,, onee-san…please, stop trying to reverse Japan’s birthrate decline by yourselves!”

As expected of my dear, little sister, she has the same ability as me to murder people with words. In fact, she’s probably stronger than me, since her attack has splash damage.

i.e. it didn’t just hit me.

It also hit Reimu.

And, her attack has unblockable, follow-up potential, while mine gives an opportunity for her to counter. What the heck is this? Why am I balanced, C-tier character, while my sister is an S-tier, must-pick character? Seriously, being average is the worst, since you don’t even get picked to show off the player’s true strength. Wait a minute, did I just ask to be a trash mob?

Anyway, before Reimu and I could muster up a defense, Komachi stood up and levelled a finger at the two of us, while Shion and Murasaki looked up at her while nibbling on snacks. Subaru was too young, and was therefore perpetually sleepy in her mother’s arms, while the last member of our family hasn’t been born yet to contribute to my sister’s angst.

“Onii-chan, you’ve been out of university for three years, and barely married for two, and now have three children and one on the way!” In my defense, twins were hardly expected, however my words died in my throat as my sister pulled off the dreaded “disinterested-flip” and combo’d it with “crossed arms of finality.” The strength of the combo was too strong, especially coming from an Imouto-character that’s grown into a young woman, even though I’m not a trash NEET, I’m still an older brother who’s not conforming to social norms, therefore she did 888% extra damage. “Mom and dad are worried you’re some sort of beast, and I had to lecture them lots about being nicer to you, so I deserve thanks!”

“Thank you, Komachi-sama.”

Satisfied from by defeat line, Komachi turned to my wife, who trembled a little while sitting next to me. 

How cute. 

“And you, Reimu-san… be a little less enthusiastic about being with my brother! You might be friends with everyone, but think about a single-woman’s feeling when they learn their peer and friend has three kids already!” Oof. Wow. I never thought about it that way, since becoming an official priest involved a lot more than I thought, even with Gensokyo being calm and composed for a few years. However, knowing what I know due to a certain Sensei of mine, Reimu has basically thrown down the glove, challenged all her peers, and pulled out an atomic bomb at the start of the match. My apologies, my friends of the female persuasion, for my wife’s “enthusiasm.” “Mom’s even thinking about sending Onii-chan presents on Boy’s Day! You need to tell us less about your happy life, until we get settled down, too!”

Okay, my dear wife, what do you say to those words? I’ve been teaching you about diplomacy for a while now, at your request so that I can focus on caring for the kids, and so the Shrine will have less reason to put me in harm’s way to get you off your cute butt. Show me the results of your training, my dear wife! 

Are you going to stay silent, allowing the words of your sister-in-law to be left in the air, so that Komachi will have to choose between being correct but receiving no response, or look for an answer and be too pushy?

Perhaps, she’ll just acquiesce and apologize like a demure lady, akin to the demure Yamato Nadeshiko cherished throughout Japan culture?

Naturally, of course, Reimu would do neither of those things.

“No. If they don’t want to know, they shouldn’t ask. I’m not going to pretend that I’m not happy about my family.” Cool. Super cool. How am I comfortable as a man having such a cool, stern, and capable wife you might ask? The answer to that is easy. I’m perfectly fine with who I am and don’t need to be better than someone to like them. Also, straightforward honesty is something that I like very, very much. “If you ask me about my life, I will tell you the truth, and that is the fact that I enjoy it very much.”

If Reimu was talking to anyone else besides Komachi, the situation would’ve escalated to the point where I’d have to intervene and make the conflict simmer down.

However, much like me, Komachi is weak to genuine girls.

“O-oh, okay. If that’s how you really feel, Onee-san.” Komachi… what’s that blush on your face? Should I be worried that you you’re after my wife? Just so you know… I’m sure that I can’t compete against you, so please tell me if you are so I can beg for you not to take her away. Please, my wonderful Imouto who’s apparently making waves in college, don’t steal my wife! “But, the two of you still need to slow down for the sake of decency! The town below is filled with rumors about this shrine being a place of debauchery!”

“I don’t care about what people think about what my husband and I do in our private time. They can go die—

“Reimu-nee-san, if you don’t meet national standards as a shrine, you’ll cease getting support from the government.”

“Hachiman, we need to quell any bad rumors about us. Please make us good people in the eyes of the people in the town we serve.”

Reimu Translator: Activate.

[Hachiman, please, please, please fix this mistake. I like having actual, modern amenities. I can’t live without my house’s temperature control system, plumbing with strong pressure, and washing machines. I just can’t. So, please, the love of my life, make sure our nationalistic government’s fanaticism and glorification of our culture continues to benefit us.]

Reimu Translator: Deactivate. 

“Wow, my wife sure is concerned about public opinion, I suppose as a husband all I can do is make sure everything’s fine.”

“That’s right.”

Anyway, given how nothing terrible has happened during Komachi’s first visit over to us, I’ll still chalk this up as a win, despite how we’re being lectured—

“Dad, Auntie Marissa’s outside and she looks hungry again.”

Dammit. I kept my ire to myself.

“Dammit.” Reimu whispered beneath her breath and twitched.

No, that’s not aimed at you Shion.

It’s aimed at Kirisame.

…

A few years typically makes a lot of difference for women going from teenager to young adult.

Reimu has changed from a girl to a young woman since we started dating. Though she still wears a modified miko-outfit, because she’s used to how it feels in combat, she’s definitely gone from cute to well-beyond my reach over the last couple of years. Or, well, she would be out of my reach, if I didn’t take first place and held onto it for dear life without any shame whatsoever. 

Yeah, that’s right, I’m admitting it. 

Hakurei Reimu is incredibly beautiful and attractive, and I’d have no chance whatsoever with her under normal circumstances. However, by tripping the Childhood Friend event, and making sure to be nice to her for many, many years, I’m now married to a long-haired, countryside goddess that would normally slay hordes of ikemen suitors without batting an eyelash. My cute childhood friend has definitely transformed into a cool beauty since we’ve begun to date, and I’ll definitely gloat to anyone who’ll listen about how lucky I am to have her, because I totes am super lucky to have her. 

And, that’s before having kids led to… substatial growths. 

However, enough with the physical changes.

I only thought about them to draw contrast to the point that I wanted to make.

“Thanskh forsh the foodsh.” Kirisame’s face was puffy and enlarged as though from several bee stings, courtesy of a little curse sent her way by Reimu. Given the need to teach our kids how to defend themselves, since they were already showing signs of being not normal since the twins were already intelligent and capable of talking easily at 2, my wife was learning and relearning everything she could, so that she could teach them. That involved learning a curse that could punish a certain, large-hatted witch who kept coming over to mooch of us. Behold, Puffy-Face Kirisame Marisa, Afflicted SSR. “Itsh shuper tashty as always!”

I knew that she was taking care of my kindness, but I didn’t hesitate to slap a talisman on her to remove the curse, and restore her cheeky face back to normal.

Hm? What’s that? Kirisame is the same age as Reimu, so shouldn’t I pay attention to how she’s grown up too?

Why the heck would I look at any other woman than my amazing wife?

I’d rather die.

“Thanks, Hachiman-kun, you’re great!”

“My sister is here today and Reimu likes her a lot, so that’s probably your last meal.”

“Th-thanks for the meal, i-it’s super great.” Wow, I never thought someone could cry while salivating over food. Actually, well, I never thought I’d see it in real life. Shokugeki no Soma is one hell of a manga, with one heck of a weak last arc, though. Anyhow, even in that manga, most people cried tears of joy while they consumed delicious food with smiles on their faces. I’m fairly sure that Kirisame’s tears are that of regret. Oi, my food doesn’t need any extra salt. “It’s the most delicious meal I’ve e-ever had…”

“…Fine, I’ll get her off your back, but I’ll only be able to manage it if you make yourself scarce.” I pointed over at the shed. If it were up to me and Reimu, it’d just be cheap, plastic shed since it stored cleaning equipment, a toolbox, and other things we just couldn’t bare to throw away. However, since it had to fit with the aesthetic of the shrine, it was a traditional looking building on the outside with the cheapest wooden shelves and tatami I could find inside. Therefore, since it’s a cheap house we’re putting things in that we can’t throw away, Kirisame’s destined to end up in there one day, so letting her in there’s no a problem. “There’s a futon there, you have a heater, and my old TV and Play—

“KaybyeI’mmaplaygames!”

And, in a flash of blonde hair, with one and holding her hat, and the other with a bowl of food, Kirisame Marisa vanished into the Hakurei shed to never be seen again. Naturally, of course, the Chuuni involved into a NEET… but, at the very least, this NEET helped out my wife from time to time, and could babysit surprisingly well. 

And, speaking of my wife… she’s very adorable when jealous.

“Kirisame didn’t seduce me while I was getting her away from my sister, Reimu.” My wife walked out of the shadows in a very cool and collected manner that didn’t quite reach her face. She was off duty, since the Shrine was only open to the public on weekends and public holidays, and Genokyo wasn’t on fire, so she was wearing sleeveless blouse, a long skirt, and a scowl that made the blush on her face all the cuter. “Don’t worry, even though I was alone with another woman for fifteen minutes, I still love you very, very much.”

“…Sorry, I can’t help but worry, even with Marisa.” Reimu sighed and shook her head with a frown, before crossing her arms. At the sight of my wife being hard on herself, I reacted quickly, decreased the distance between us, and put an arm over her shoulder. Well, that was what I planned to do, since I wanted to be manly. Instead Reimu noticed my approach, while my hand was just beginning to get up, and took hold of my hand and smiled. “So… stay with me a while, to make me feel better, okay?”

I know quite a few gods, woman, so please don’t drive me towards faith so that I can thank someone, anyone for putting you in my life.

Especially since they’re all shit.

…

“Hey, hey, gomi-chan.”

“Oi, that’s super cute, but Reimu will kill you she hears ya.”

“U-uh, right. Thanks, Onii-chan.”

“It’s a brother’s duty to protect their little sister.”

“Gross. 100 Komachi Points.”

“My points went up, even though I’m gross!?” Komachi snickered and handed me my MAX Coffee. She’d brought an entire box for me to enjoy over the course of the year. Unfortunately, getting old and losing my teen metabolism led me to confront the dangers of sugar and gaining weight, so I could only have my favorite drink every few days. But, hey, at least I won’t look like an ugly bastard next to my hot wife. “So, how’re my kids?”

“Super weird, but since they’re my nieces and Reimu’s daughters, they’re super cute anyway!” Oi. Those are my daughters, too. Wait are you implying that the Hachiman portion of our bloodline is recessive and that the Komachi and Reimu genes are dominant? And, that in a few years, I’ll be living in a household of Komachi/Reimu Hybrids. Goodness. I need to become LN Protagonist OP, so I can beat away all the weirdos they’ll attract. Or, well, just let Reimu deal with them. Yeah, that sounds way better. “Hmmm… they’re strange like Reimu too, sometimes.”

“Eh? Rei’s strange?” I blinked at the offhand comment Komachi made. My imouto wasn’t the type to say things that she didn’t mean, since she’s spent her life with me. She wouldn’t have brought it up, if she didn’t want to talk about it. “What do you mean?”

“Hm, well, Reimu’s always had this… wall around her. Not the trashy, creepy one you made when you got dumped that one time. It was more serious and scarier.” My feelings are very hurt, but the fact that I have a wonderful wife, very cute daughters, and live without dealing with corporate bullshit mitigates the pain. Yep. Those words only feel like I’ve been flayed alive and dipped in salt. Don’t worry, my dear sister, I’m still alive and will recover quickly from your verbal murder of my soul. “It’s kinda hard to talk to her. Even mom and dad can’t do it, and everyone thinks the same too… you’re the only who doesn’t see her that way.”

Hmmm, I see.

“That’s because I’m shit at socializing, so talking to everyone feels like trying to talk like Reimu. That made it easy to talk to her, since I’m used to eat.” Oi, Komachi, that’s supposed to be a joke that made you laugh. Don’t look at your brother with such teary eyes and believe every single one of his words. While I do have trouble talking to people, it’s not so bad that it makes it easier for me to approach a literal, magical child soldier and make friends with her than everyone else. “Okay, that was a joke. You can laugh. Please, laugh.”

“That’s not funny, gomi-chan. Any imouto would worry after hearing their brother say that. Since I’m a super high-spec imouto, I’ll naturally be brought to tears, if my brother told me it’s difficult for him to talk to people.” Okay, I get it. It’s not something to joke about. Please, take the guilt-knives out of my corpse, before so I die more quickly instead of suffering. “So… you never thought that Reimu-san was too strong to talk too?”

If this was some sort of shitty manga, Reimu would be listening in from somewhere I couldn’t notice, even though it’s established that I’ve developed another Hachiman Skill, which I call the Reimu Radar after all our years together. While I’m fairly sure that Reimu’s not around, she could be just to introduce drama in my life, if I said something strange and contrary in regards to our relationship. 

Thankfully, there’s no reason at all for me say anything along those lines. 

“Nope. I thought she was just a girl that I could talk to, after helping her out.” Our first meeting was a long time ago, but I remembered it well. Before my first year at middle-school, my parents took me to this shrine, and wouldn’t you know it they wanted to help out the nice girl who was taking care of it with a little help from volunteers in the town below. While the adults took care of the bigger stuff, I helped with the daily chores, and talked to Reimu. That’s about it. That’s how our relationship began. “I helped her, we became friends, and a decade-and-a-half later we’re married and have kids.”

Komachi frowned at my answer for a bit, before sighing and shaking her head.

“I see, so my lovely gomi-chan became a lonely girl’s best friend without even thinking about it, as expected of my Onii-chan… reaching out to lonely girls is your specialty, huh?” Oi, stop talking about me like a predator. I’ll have you know that being a straightforward person who just helps out other people shouldn’t attract people. It’s not that I’m great, it’s just that society is filled with so much shitty people that being average makes you look good. Wait, why am I demeaning myself? I’m great, right? “Well… then…. I guess I need to be more like my Onii-chan, so that I can spend more time with my cute nieces, eh? I can’t be afraid of Reimu forever, and she definitely needs a cute Imouto to look after her, just like you!”

While Komachi’s words would make any brother cry out in joy, I was an older brother, and I had other ideas.

“Take care of yourself first, Komachi. It’s easier to help others when you don’t need help yourself.” I ruffled my sister’s hair for a bit, and she maid noises of discontent, but didn’t pull away. The faintest of blushes played on her features, even while she growled at me, and she couldn’t hide the smile playing on her face. “Also, older brothers are supposed to help out their little sisters, so if you offer me help again, I might cry.”

“Gross, onii-chan. You’re super gross.”

Heh.

Man, I’m glad to have such a great sister.

…

Reimu did not look elegant while lying down our bed at all. No, I’m not talking about her being lewd or anything like that. What I’m talking about is the fact that after years of living on futons, once the wedding catalogue came out, the only thing she asked for was a large, comfy bed to enjoy and fall asleep in. So, every evening, after brushing my teeth, I walked into our bedroom and looked upon my wife splayed upon our western, American-sized bed with a very content look on her face. 

Admittedly, if she wasn’t wearing pajamas it’d be mind-bendingly arousing, but she wasn’t so I repressed my masculine instincts and just laid down beside her.

In an instant, she went from spread across the bed to clinging to me with all four limbs, and with her strength escape was impossible. 

“I should call you Tako, instead of Reimu.” Calling my wife an octopus merely got a laugh from her, while I used my free arm to pull the pillows together and make us both comfortable, and pull up the comforter to keep us both warm. My actions earned a purr of contentment from my wife, which I accepted with all the grace and diligence I possibly could. “Stop being cute. I’m trying to got to sleep… not waste an entire night.”

“Hehe, pervert.” Yes. Yes, I am. I am allowed to be a pervert to you, because I am your husband, and we already three kids and one on the way. Also, am I really the only pervert in this relationship? What happened to only four kids, Reimu? Do you remember those dead words? Because, in all honesty, I don’t think we’re stopping until the government comes in and asks us if we’re using their money to make a baseball team instead. “Hah…goodnight, Hachiman. I love you.”

Hnngh.

Again, I don’t know what I did to deserve this amazing life. Not only do I wonderful wife and amazing kids, but magic exists and the world’s more extraordinary than I first believed. Technically speaking, I’m living the dream of every kid who fell in love with the idea that the world isn’t just mundane and cruel, but actually has something fantastic and amazing for everyone. In every respect, I’ve managed to get everything I’ve wanted in life at a young age, and I intend to enjoy it until the day I die. 

Am I working? Is it troublesome to maintain a shrine, and deal with Gensokyo? Totally, but the work I’m being asked to do is less than I’d pay for the life I now have.

I have friends, family, and people I love, as well as work that’s not to hard, which I also, sometimes enjoy. 

Undoubtably, I’m the luckiest man in the world.

“Goodnight, Reimu. Love you to.” 

Source: me.