Sheridan Creighton’s Normie Retirement REEE.

Sheridan Creighton’s Normie Retirement REEE.

…

Commissioned by Sivantic

Wordcount: 2500

…

You awaken to the scent of freshly made coffee emanating from a cart filled with breakfast.

You blink, and the next thing you know, you are seated upright, with a tray upon your lap, and with Elena at your left.

She’d pushed the cart into the room, and prepared the breakfast, yet both of you are now once again clad in pajamas and ready to start your day.

“Good morning, Sheridan.” Elena offers you a nod along with he greeting. After spending so many long years with her, you can easily tell that she is attempting to hide her smugness at her feat… as can anyone else if they were present, because she’s still not at all good at hiding anything. “Happy anniversary.”

It has been more than half-a-century since your marriage, yet the two of you don’t look as though a day has passed since then.

Elena remains the beautiful Dhamphir you’d met let ago in Arizona, while most would think you’re a dying breed of corporate salaryman.

Thankfully, despite the disparity in looks, you’re more than capable of charming your lovely wife with ease.

You offer no words, since you know what Elena likes, and simply reach over and kiss her.

Her lips are soft, and her breath warm, and she meekly mewls when you pull away. A blush plays upon her face as you retreat, and she pouts when you smile and turn your attention towards the lovely meal which she has made to celebrate your anniversary.

“This is lovely, Elena. Thank you.” If it is wrong to tease your wife, then you’ll have to consult a few friends of yours regarding amending that fact. There is nothing quite as lovely as seeing Elena stop herself from being “wanton.” She prides herself very much in being proper, if a bit of a tease at times. “This looks amazing.’

During the fight against the Chimera, you took it upon yourself to eat mostly what the majority of humanity ate. Though on special occasions, with your family gathered, you ate what you could reasonably afford, you still experienced the dearth that most of humanity experienced. True meat was at a premium, vegetables and grains were the mainstays, and very little industry could be devoted towards putting humanity’s manufacturing towards normally-laborious items.

However, that age is long over, so you look upon a glut of wonderful foods that was still easily prepared.

Pastries made with laminated dough and rich butter were neatly assembled in a woven basket. Berries and fruits which couldn’t be grown in large quantities were present both fresh and in jams. The main course of your meal was a crab cake eggs benedict. Eggs were a common item on Arcologies, but seafood and butter were premium items.

However, what drew your attention the most was the coffee.

Artisanal coffees grown in high altitudes, on differing regions in the equator, and by hand was nigh impossible to recreate in laboratories.

It was something you missed, and now Elena has made sure to prepare it for your perfectly every day.

With that thought in mind, and after another quick peck on the cheek for your wife, you dig into your first meal of the day.

Good food.

Elena being cute.

A nice bed for what will most likely occur after breakfast.

A promising anniversary day awaits you.

…

Tomoko sighs as she drapes herself over you clad only in a camisole.

“Sheridan can we please use a little magic to make things go more smoothly?” The two of you are in a massive room filled with gold, marble, and antiques. The new world you’ve arrived at is ruled by a self-proclaimed god-emperor with a palace the size of a mountain range. “I mean that young man’s been trying to use his head to get into since we got into orbit. Even if he can’t get in, he still has an advantage.”

“Tomoko, they have one solar system, and a legion of enhanced humans. We need to show them how to be better.” You speak calmly, as you enjoy Tomoko’s pout. It fades away, as does her cutesy demeanor, the moment she sees its ineffective. Instantly she sighs and hurls herself onto the mattress. Her assets are quite the sight to see, but you can only chuckle at her completely languid state of affairs. “Tomoko, say it with me: using magic on civilizations to alter their government is wrong.”

“But I want to go my honeymoon. It’s been too long since we’ve had alone time, and this place has eyes everywhere. I’m not Elena. I don’t like to watch.” Tomoko complains and glances at several hidden cameras in the room. They are all looped already, adding extra content for Muninn to utilize never hurts. She grabs a pillow filled with real, actual feathers and hugs it tightly. “I was thinking we should have another baby…”

Those words would’ve caused you to sputter, panic, and perhaps overthrow an entire monarchy within a day in the past.

Now it merely makes you raise an eyebrow at your wife.

“What? It’s been decades. They’re all having babies again, and we’re not getting any older… why can’t I have one or two more kids to spoil?”

Tomoko’s coy and teasing nature is something you have become well-acquainted with, so you don’t hesitate to be straightforward in order to pierce through her idle games.

“Are you planning on starting to rival Li Song, or are you teasing me, Tomoko?”

Your counterattack surprises Tomoko for a second, letting you know she did just intend to see if the words would walk, but soon enough a sly smile forms on her face.

“Are you asking if I’m competitive enough to try and fight an Aspect, my husband? Because… I’m sure that you already know the answer.”

As she begins to move, you don’t hesitate to signal Muninn to give you both some privacy.

Every now and again, there’s no harm in mixing work with pleasure.

…

Elisabeth coos at her newest child, while you peer over the balcony onto the auction below.

The new world you’re in is at the height of imperial expansion, with a nation reaching the industrial age well before all its other rivals, and setting out to dominate the world.

You wouldn’t bring your child anywhere close to a slave auction, but the world you’re currently in is auctioning something else entirely.

Titles for land.

Open not only to those of foreign nations, but to visitors from beyond as well.

At the end of the auction a continent will be for sale, and the crown has given you permission to purchase it, cultivate it, and govern it as you wish in order to begin to uplift their world.

The ruthless mercantilism was off-putting at first, but you’ve grown rather fond of the place already.

Elisabeth, though, can only sigh and suffer through the ordeal. If it weren’t form Ariel, you’re sure that she wouldn’t be present.

“Our first date after I give a child, and you take me to work with you. How romantic.” Elisabeth shakes her head, as she peers onto the auction bellow. Quite a few rich investors are buying island chains perfect for the production of sugar, but the indigenous peoples have utilized your gifts perfectly, and have accrued the capital required to buy their lands. They cheer amongst themselves, while the guards escort the frustrated tycoons out. You’ll check on them later. “It’s quite nice to see a few rich, old men lose their wits, but couldn’t we have gone somewhere better? Maybe a park?”

You shake your head, but offer no words, as the continent goes on sale.

Without hesitation, you bid upon it, and when another bid goes up, you bid again.

Several leaders of nations are up at arms in the balconies, yelling across the gap between you and them, as they declare the impossibility that you have the funds to contest their claims.

Especially when they form alliances and start bidding with one another with the aim to partition the continent.

The agent of the crown frowns as they do so, but when he moves to speak to the auctioneer, you merely shake your head and take a stand.

With a gesture, you bring life to all the rumors you started months ago, about beings from beyond arriving on the world by holding out your hand… and letting from spatial storage flow forth a glut of precious stones, gems, and metals.

Courtesy from your travels in both space and alternate dimensions.

The clamor amongst the auctioneers is silenced for a moment, before suddenly the other nations are squabbling amongst one another to speak to you, and allowing you to purchase the continent without any further discussion.

Once you receive the title, as crowds are being held by the crown’s guards, you ask your wife if she would like the continent named after her, or Ariel.

Elisabeth raises an eyebrow at your words, while fighting a smile from forming on her lips.

Her attempt to say anything is fruitless, as no words leave her mouth.

Of all your loved ones, Elisabeth enjoys presents the most.

…

Erica looks at you, and offers you one of her plates.

The world you’re currently on is one where humongous monsters with magic roam the Earth, yet humanity shas still managed to carve out a fruitful existence based on hunting and harvesting them.

Erica is quite taken with the immense portions of food they offer, as most humans on the planet imbibe large amounts in order to fill themselves with various magical effects, and strengthen their bodies.

Naturally, the Aspect of Infinity simply consumes the food because its tasty and wants to share.

“Thank you, Erica.” You do your best to move aside some of your devices from the table. The atmosphere is so filled with magic that even quantum communication devices are struggling, unless backed with sufficient power and additional devices in close proximity. You never knew your reliance on instant transmission and receiving of data until you nearly burst a vein at a second time delay. “What’s this?”

“Manga meat.”

You blink at the statement, and look at the dish on the plate.

Huh.

“Huh, it is.” It is a massive chunk of meat from which a bone is gutting out at the center. There are no signs whatsoever of it being manipulated besides being cooked and hewn off the animal it came from. By all means, it is simply a sizzling, massive, and delightful hunk of flesh on a sizzling plate laden with vegetables. It is also the size of your torso. “Thank you. I’ve been too busy to find things like this.”

Any one of your other wives, even Serafall, would’ve only nodded at your statement and left it at that.

They would’ve entrusted you to fix your mistakes and pay them more attention after that small signal.

Not Erica.

“I want to travel this entire world, eat its food, and enjoy it.” Violet eyes stare at you, as your various devices float away towards the foot of the bed in the corner of the room. “We will begin today. Work can wait, because it is my anniversary.”

Erica is blunt, without hesitation, and insistent.

It’s very refreshing.

“I see, then where would you like to go first? Asia? The Middle East?” Your mind switches gears to fulfilling the Aspect of Infinity’s desires. She nods and begins consuming the food she has laid upon the table, while you dig into the hunk of delicious, beef-like meat on your own plate. “We can see if there’s anything you like there… or we can start introducing these people to fast food and junk.”

Erica pauses for a second at your statement and you already know what you’re doing for the next month before she speaks.

“For my anniversary present, I want to introduce this world to snacks, before Great Red can introduce it to fast food.” The declaration is made, and you’re sure that Great Red has heard it, and is already moving to rival her. You are idly tallying up allies willing to invest into the planet in order to provide for your wife, as she nods and eats without any fervor whatsoever. “We shall begin after this meal!”

Great Red will have the first store running in a day, but you happen to have a very competitive son-in-law with many, many enterprising sons and daughters with massive inheritances.

It’ll be a close thing, but you’re sure you can manage to out-franchise Great Red for Erica.

…

Serafall lounges on the sofa, consumes a chip, and idly waves at you as you fall beside her and onto her lap.

“Happy anniversary, Sheridan.” Serfall runs one hand across your hair, and you groan a complaint as she switches channels. The had she is using is the one she was using to eat chips. “I would not have done it, if you laid upon my lap properly, instead of perversely.”

After many decades of experience, you know when a battle is lost, but also when to struggle even such is the case.

Sometimes the fight itself, not the outcome, is what matters.

Getting grease in your hear is most certainly worth burying your face in Serafall’s bare thighs.

“Pervert.” The words are uttered bereft of any hatred, and with a hint of a chuckle. When her soothing hand descends again, you feel a cooling sensation across your body, as dirt and detritus is washed away from you. “How was your day, my dear?”

The world you’re spending your anniversary upon is a deathworld in which humanity has long perished and machines carry out the will of their masters. Both factions of machines have since attained sentience, and begun harvesting the solar system to annihilate one another upon Earth.

Their worship of humanity is ritualistic, fanatical, and nears madness.

Therefore, you have only one answer to Serafall’s queary.

“Had to put in an extra hour of work, but everything should be done by tomorrow. Should be wrapped up completely in a week.” It’s a rather simple affair. A regular task of disarming a solar system, making peace talks happen, and guiding everyone along after. Your nine-to-five really. “A little burned out, but I’m fine. What did you do the entire day?”

“Watch television. Eat.  Nap. Take a bath.”

To that particular statement of Serafall Leviathan, the Super Devil, there is only one proper answer.

“Nice.”

“It was very nice. Would you like to join me, after you’re done resting?”

You estimate how long it’ll be before you grow tired of your joke, and add upon the resulting time limit how much you like being face-first in your wife’s thighs.

“I’ll join you in three hours.”

“Sheridan.”

“One-and-a-half hours.”

“…”

“Thirty minutes.”

“…”

“Ten. Take it or leave it.”

“Five.”

“Okay.”

Leviathan laughs lightly, and despite all the years that have passed, the sound still pleasantly surprises you.

You’ve had many achievements in your life, but her renewal is something you’ll keep close to your heart forever.