A little life update

hi yall!

sorry for the hiatus, i feel like everytime i start really getting on track- life happens and im just completely thrown off. dont worry though- im already getting back on the saddle to finish the content for this month and april ^_^

anyway, just a little bit as to where i have been:

this year has been an odd time for me. things that have been building since last september, that had me in that fun little space during the holidays season, finally hit its climax this month.

without giving too much of my own privacy away- the situation i was in basically had me at a crossroads. i had been slowly heading toward this crossroad for over 5 years now. i just didnt know it, because i could not see it- until that september...

i realized either i would stay on this road that i was familiar with, that is stable and predictable but not enthralling- not thrilling and not my dream. or i would have to abandon it. forever forgoing what the reality of that road would be for the unknown.
for just a chance at happiness. for just a chance at my dream.

it was terrifying.

so- i put off choosing. and i coped with whatever substance and distractions i could get my hands on. i put it off and off and off and begged and prayed for the road that i was on to be the right choice. to be the easier choice. for me not to regret it.

much like a child having to get rid of their safety blanket, i didnt want to do it- but i knew that to grow i simply had to. so i did what i had to do. and it has completely changed the trajectory of my life forever.

and i know that it may seem dramatic- but for those of you that find this situation to be familiar you know how devastating this is. im in mourning for the future that would have been.

im now facing the unknown. but im not scared. im excited.