Duality - Chapter 16 (Novel Commission for Code-Shark101)

TAGS: Anthro, Transformation/TF, Slice-Of-Life, Milk/Lactation, BE, Hyper, F/F

---===---

These were questions best suited for their personal therapy sessions, which were to begin as soon as either of the two wanted them. Linda, being somewhat convinced that all of her problems were physical in nature, “allowed” Beth to go first, claiming she needed to get used to walking around their house and setting up their milking machine if ever she needed to do so on her own, a convenient excuse to hide the fact that what the panda gal truly wanted was some time alone to enjoy her own size without having her partner there to worry about her. The human, in the meantime, simply appreciated the opportunity to vent to someone else for once, and thus gladly accepted the offer of a one-hour exploratory session with Rue.

Her office was… simple. Nothing like Simmons’ gaudy choices or whatever that cold coot she replaced decided to keep around; just a glass cabinet with a bunch of binders, a couple of potted plants, a desk and three chairs, one for Rue, two for whoever might join her. It was genuinely sparse, and would look outright barren if not for the paintings on the walls; nonetheless, Beth didn’t feel intimidated while in there, and in fact found the atmosphere to be downright relaxing compared to the constant, overbearing warmth of Linda’s body, or the cold and clinical look of everything else Rivtech provided. It was a therapist’s office through and through, down to the simple, light colour of the walls.

Chairs could afford to be a bit more comfortable though; company was probably to blame.

“Alright, I need you to understand that in there, I’m not Rue the project head. I’m Rue, the therapist,” Dr. Adams spoke up, “anything and everything we talk about stays here, unless you tell me otherwise. Not even Linda will know about it, again, unless you want me to tell her. Do you think you can work with that?”

Beth nodded, already wondering what she was going to say.

“Good. Now… why don’t we start from the bottom? How have the past few weeks been treating you?”

The question was simple, the answer… not so much. There were a lot of things Beth could say to fill the void left in by that simple query, and yet to do so would require far more than the single hour the two of them had; besides, Rue herself knew exactly what had gone on during the course of the experiments, so giving her a play-by-play would be less than useless. She wasn’t asking her test subject about what happened, but how it happened. Or at least, that’s what Beth assumed it to be; therapist stuff was never her strong suit.

“I… it’s been tiring, honestly,” she admitted, “everything just takes its toll, you know? The roller coaster of… it’s like, we were happy before all of this started, back in the diner. We spent a lot of time doing a lot of things we uh, probably shouldn’t have been doing away from cameras, but it was good, you know? Like, it was good to have someone who I felt comfortable around, someone I could spend some time with and just… do nothing. Just be around them, you know?”

Rue nodded, leaning back slightly on her chair.

“So when everything happened and suddenly she got so big, I didn’t know… what to do, I guess? I tried to help as best I could, God knows someone should, and no one else was going to do, so I suppose we just sorta fell together even more. It wasn’t about her problem back then, not like it is now; sure, she was… l-large, not gonna lie, it was hard not to notice it, but it was about her. About us, you know? As long as I could continue to pretend things could go on like normal, I could pretend she didn’t have a pair of breasts that size, though I suppose we were both just fooling ourselves. That’s when she called me, after you called her.”

“She called you?” Rue queried.

“Yeah, she called me to her house, and that’s when… well, you’ve seen how she’s like when she’s horny” - Beth cleared her throat, accurately deducing that more details were not necessary - “and things were good! Things were fine, and after talking with Simmons, we thought that maybe we’d be able to just… be normal. Sure, I’d have to come visit her every other day, and the whole place was way out of the way, but it felt like we could do it. And those last few days before she ended up here for good? God…”

Beth’s voice trailed off, her tone wistful, her gaze unfocused as she recalled the hours they spent embracing one another, snuggling into their warmth. Rue picked up on this, as she wrote something down on her clipboard, but refrained from commenting.

“And then… well, the rest is history, isn’t it? And we’ve been here ever since. Frankly, I don’t even know how to describe it, but I guess it’s… I kinda want her to be like this. Not boob-obsessed, you know, but like this, physically” - Beth made good use of her hands, gesturing towards her own smaller bust - “I can’t really pretend otherwise, have you seen her? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to keep her around that size, I mean, they’re bigger than she is! I can use them as beanbags, for God’s sake, and she wants it too, which just makes it better! But I don’t want her to be like she is now,” she sighed, tapping her head, “there’s something wrong with her, she wasn’t like this before. Linda would sooner hide in a dumpster than do anything overtly lewd, and yet now she’s fine with bloating her breasts out deliberately? Making passes at me and talking about growing even larger? I mean… I like it, don’t get me wrong,” Beth added quickly, as if responding to Rue raising an eyebrow, “but I don’t think she’s okay. I think this is getting to her.”

“And do you want that to go away?” Adams moved in for the kill.

“Yes,” Beth answered instantly, “yes I do. I’d rather have the old Linda back. She’s not well.”

Judging from Rue’s momentary reaction, she was clearly expecting a different answer altogether, but quickly adjusted her expression to a more mellow one; not quick enough that Beth didn’t notice, but she could hardly blame her, given what kind of shenanigans she and Linda got up to on a daily basis.

“If that is true,” the therapist kept going, “then how come you said you can’t seem to control yourself?”

Immediately the human gal felt her cheeks brighten up and her body temperature rise to almost uncomfortable levels, as if the very mention of that was enough to get her hot and bothered. Truth be told, Beth really didn’t know how to answer that… at least not without making herself sound like some form of sex fiend.

“It’s alright, Beth,” Adams reassured her, “nothing will leave this room.”

“Hum… honestly, it’s like… how do I even… y-you know?” - the low-ley panic was obvious, as was the desperation in trying to squirm away from having to answer the question, even if Beth herself recognized the importance of doing so - “It’s just… ok, so, before I met her, I might’ve have some… prior interests in the matter, and that’s all I’ll say about that, so suddenly when Linda showed up and I saw her and then she was super nice to me and we cuddled up and she was so soft, and fluffy and she did this thing where it was almost like purring when I rubbed her ears an-”

Rue cleared her throat, serving as a convenient brake for Beth’s rambling.

“O-Oh, right, sure, sorry. P-point being, I really liked her, like, physically. Is that bad?”

“Not at all, but it seemed to me that it went beyond that?”

“And it does, but I don’t know how to explain it! It’s like… I love her. I love her, Linda, the woman behind the enormous tits, the person who I fell in love with. But I also… y-you know, she’s… please don’t make me say it.”

“She is very attractive, yes,” Rue summarized.

In five words, all of the weight of responsibility was lifted off from Beth’s shoulders, who sighed in relief and sunk lower into her chair than before.

“Oh my god, thank you for saying it!” she breathed out, “God, she’s… she’s hot, Rue, she really is. I can’t help it, every time I look at her it’s just, I know I shouldn’t, I know we should be talking about how the whole thing is affecting her? But then she just shakes her tits around and before I know it I’m in the middle of them, I can’t remember how I got there, and then the alarms start blaring. S-sorry for that, by the way.”

“Not your problem, carry on.”

“So like, I understand she needs to fix that issue, but then I’m also afraid that it might be rubbing off on me? Because I wasn’t always like this; not as bashful as her, but certainly not this… active. It’s pretty great, not gonna lie, but I feel like it’s taking away time that would be better spent handling pressing matters, and I don’t know how to fix that without potentially insulting her.”

“Insulting her?” Rue tilted her head while asking.

“She’s insatiable, Rue, and honestly? Sometimes it feels like even I’m not enough, despite her telling me I am. I feel like if I up and told her we should dial things down, she’d…”

The thought formed inside of Beth’s head, despite her best efforts at making sure it didn’t. A threat, a nightmare, coalesced and crystalized in such a dreadfully clear manner that it almost felt like the room she was in had been dipped in glacial waters. She didn’t want to verbalize it; to do so would be to make it real, and making it real meant it had a chance of happening, no matter how hard she tried to avoid it. Rue, spotting an opportunity for a breakthrough, leaned forward and crossed her fingers together, her voice as soft and warm as it could possibly be.

“You’re afraid you might lose her?”

Yes. The answer was yes, a million times over. The same fear she had when Rivtech called, the same one that hounded her after the meeting with Simmons and the news that he’d been removed from the project, the thought that kept nagging her at every waking hour even when the two were closer than ever before during the experiments. She didn’t want to lose Linda, and yet it felt as if every day placed her on the precipice of it happening, despite her best efforts… and Beth didn’t know how to make it stop. She knew the panda would never let go, and yet it always felt like it was just about to happen at any point; it was just so much that-

“I don’t know how to make it go away.”

The admission was part of the healing process. Already Beth felt tears rolling down her eyes, while Rue grabbed a packet of tissues and pushed it towards her, leaning back once again and giving her patient time to recover. It felt good to admit it; it felt even better to cry because of it. At least now someone else other than her knew, and maybe that was the key to fixing her fear. Or perhaps she’d just exposed her biggest weakness to someone wielding the one weapon able to exploit it.

Whatever the case, Rue remained silent for as long as it took for her patient to calm back down, patiently waiting until all the tears rolled out of Beth’s eyes and all the sobs were out of her system. Despite the lack of any words, her presence alone seemed enough to help the human through, as if it radiated an aura of calmness that permeated the whole room; it was infectious really, and Beth found herself slowly coming back to reality after she had a good cry for a few minutes, only to find Dr. Adams still looking at her, wielding the same smile with as much sincerity as before. Even then, the other woman still waited until her patient adjusted her position on their chair before speaking up, voice soothing and melodious.

“Beth, may I be perfectly honest with you?”

“... of course, please,” Beth barely avoided breaking out into another tearful fit, her self-control dodgy at best.

“Looking back at all the files and the many, many hours of camera recordings, I don’t think there’s any real possibility that Linda might feel like you aren’t enough for her. In fact, I’d wager she’s having the exact same thoughts herself… at least whenever she’s lucid,” Rue was quick to add, “I feel, and so does the rest of the team, that the problem here is, ultimately, hormonal.”

“Hor… Hormonal?” - Beth’s confusion was palpable, though she had a couple of ideas on what that meant.

“Indeed,” Rue carried on, nodding and shedding a few hairs all over the table, “the genetic modifications have been wreaking havoc on her body for some time, I’m… pretty sure we’re all on-board with that, Linda included. But the current working hypothesis is that the constant cycle of excessive lactation, coupled with heightened arousal and seemingly unstoppable growth has led to her neurochemistry being affected in ways we really can’t predict, not even at this stage. Whether it’s her reward response going off or something else, we don’t really know yet, but we’re convinced this isn’t psychological in nature; whatever’s happening to her is ultimately a product of her hormones being deregulated.”

This was good news. Or would be, if Rue’s face wasn’t still so serious.

“And that being the case,” she continued, “this means that it’s very likely it’s affecting you as well.”

“... oh” - to be perfectly honest with herself, Beth had expected that to be the case; her inability to say no to Linda did strike her as something she wouldn’t go through if everything was perfectly normal - “How so?”

“Well, your constant exposure to her milk has most likely led to some alterations of your own. We’ve been testing it on the side, given that we had to do something with all the excedent we were keeping around” - Rue rolled her eyes as she said this, the images of the containers and holding tanks flashing in front of her again - “and oddly enough, the reactions we got from everyone were… well, let’s just say we’re going to need to pay for a lot of rehab, and that’s after a single bottle. You, somehow, can still function despite being around her this much, and the fact that you can even resist the allure at all is fascinating.”

“Maybe being around her for so long made me immune to the charm?” Beth chuckled, hoping to get a similar reaction out of Rue, but instead getting a very solemn nod.

“Again, we’re not sure how this works, or if it even works at all, but right now the only thing we have to go on is your prior exposure to Linda and your intimacy with her. It’s possible that it afforded you some degree of immunity to the effects her milk had on other people, and if that’s true… then you might be affected by some heretofore unknown effect of the genetic treatment.”

“So what, am I gonna turn into a panda too?” Beth asked incredulously.

“We don’t know” - Rue shrugged, throwing her arms out before falling back on her chair - “we already have to deal with the Board sending you two home, and trying to come up with a schedule for that’s been absolute murder, let me tell you; right now, we’re just trying to focus on long-term observation and hoping, hoping mind you, that some stability will do you both some good. But I don’t think you need to worry about anything” - like a switch being flipped, the last sentence was spoken in the same soothing, nearly supernaturally-calming tone of voice that she’d employed before - “in fact, I think Linda might need you more than ever. It can’t be easy to live the way she does.”

A series of thoughts crossed Beth’s mind at that moment, mostly to do with how Linda might be doing back home. The longer she remained away from the panda gal, the more likely it was for her to return to a small-scale flood, and that’s assuming Linda actually did what she was supposed to and fitted herself to the milking pumps. The thought of having to clean all of that on a daily basis was already making her feel tired.

“I don’t want to have to clean up after her all the time,” she admitted, feeling extremely guilty for doing so, “I want her to be able to do it herself. I want Linda to be the way she used to be; back when she wasn’t obsessed with her breasts.”

“And I promise we’ll try to do that. I can’t promise you more than that. You think you can work with this for the time being?”

In all honesty, Beth wanted to say no, but what choice did she have? Rivtech held all the cards and paid the dealer’s paycheck at that point, so trying to fight the system rather than playing into it would be an exercise in futility.

“I’m going to convince Linda to come talk to you,” Beth replied, conveniently skipping having to answer the question, “and then we’ll see. Is that ok?”

Rue nodded, taking a look at her watch and checking the time. It was clear they hadn’t been there for an hour, but it felt disingenuous to claim they had anything else to say to one another. She nodded, Beth nodded, and they both got up to leave, exchanging not a single word in the time it took for them to reach the front door. Similarly, the human gal remained silent all the way to her apartment, though she did breathe a sigh of relief when she didn’t see a thick layer of creamy milk covering the floor… though the sounds coming from the bathroom weren’t exactly soothing; it was the panda’s voice, throaty and cracked, rhythmic moans accompanied by the mechanical rumbling and whirring of some great contraption, along with suction and the unmistakable sound of fluids being pumped somewhere. Had Linda been hooked to the milking machine all that time?

Beth walked carefully towards the source of the noises, placing her stuff on the floor before slowly opening the door to reveal her beloved, kneeling next to the bathtub and using it as support for her immense bust; it was a testament to her size that she was a good four or so feet away from the wall where the milker was mounted, looking as if it was the most natural thing on the planet. On seeing Beth walked in, she clearly tried saying something, but it got caught up in between the whorish sounds coming out of her throat, seemingly unconsciously; a sight that the human gal found equal parts arousing and terrifying, if that was what was in store for the both of them down the line.

“Linda, have you been here since…”

“Y-yeah,” the panda managed to get out through her teeth, “d-did I do good?”

Figured. That silly idiot was so worried about disappointing her partner that she deliberately placed herself in that situation for far longer than she should’ve. At that moment, Beth felt both terrible and amused at ever thinking Linda wanted to leave her; of course she didn’t, they both loved one another! And as lovers, it stood to reason they should be there for one another, close to one another, so close that she could feel the soft fur of her body and the faint smell of lavender of her hair, the rumbling and vibrations coursing through her body, her voice calling out to her, asking her what she was doing, demanding that she get off.

Get off?

“Beth, please!”

The words stung like acid, enough that Beth flinched so hard she practically flew off her partner. What had just happened?

“I can barely hold myself together, please, just… g-go to the living room! Please!”

Linda wasn’t asking; she was begging. It was clear from her tone and expression, now that Beth was back in possession of all of her senses, that this was a woman desperate to get some distance between herself and anything that might set her off, someone who had, at great cost to herself, finally reined in her own desires and yet was half a second away from losing control of them all over again… and there she was herself, making it harder for her. What was she thinking? How did she lose control of herself like that? One moment Beth was staring at Linda feeling like the two of them could maybe make it through the rest of the day without any incidents, the next she was stuck to her body like glue and wanting more; could it be that Rue was entirely right, and her own hormones were so out of whack that she couldn’t resist it? If that was the case, then distance was what was needed; without a moment’s hesitation, Beth scrambled back onto her feet and practically ran back to their living room, having to bite back tears as she hyperventilated from the sudden bout of anxiety.

The two didn’t speak to one another for the rest of the day. In fact, apart from Beth bringing Linda her dinner in the bathroom, they didn’t even interact at all; when they went to bed, it was the first time in quite a long time that they deliberately avoided touching one another one, which was slightly difficult given how much room the panda gal took up. It got to a point where Beth simply got up and went to sleep on the couch… or at least try to; the house went through a lot of sobbing in their first day there, not exactly the best of introductions. When the day broke and the human rolled onto the floor from several hours of not getting any rest, she found their bedroom to be completely empty, apart from a small note left on top of their (still messy) bed.

“Speaking to Dr. Adams. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad. I still love you. We can get through this.”

The sobbing only got louder.

***

Back in the main compound, Linda was getting off the truck that Rivtech sent for her after she emailed them late the previous night, hoping they’d listen to her request; it was either that or have to go through a whole day of not talking to her partner after the rather unfortunate encounter the two had during her milking session. She didn’t blame Beth; if anything, she blamed herself for all of the decisions she made getting there, and yet despite this self-inflicted wound running as deep as it did, it refused to ache. Whenever she tried to pick at it, the panda gal instead found herself distracted by her bosom in some way or another, be it its weight, its sloshing, its size, hell, sometimes even the way the fur patterns played with how much it had expanded over time. It wasn’t normal and she knew that; so maybe a long talk with Rue would let her sort her ideas out before anything terrible happened that they couldn’t take back. At least the driver was polite not to say anything, even after he had to remove most of the seats in the back just so the panda could fit.

Rue herself wasn’t there when Linda arrived, but she was allowed to sit in her office and wait until she got there. Stuffing herself in there took… a while, especially since most of the staff weren’t even there and the few that were refused to get anywhere near her, lest they set off yet another of her episodes. Linda didn’t mind though; by that point she’d gotten used to having to squeeze her bust through doors, and at least that one was wide enough she managed to get one of her tits in at a time, even if it required a lot of crabwalking and almost led to her slipping on her own milk after some of it spurted out. She found the office space to be very barren, almost offensively so; after Simmons’ gaudy workspace, being somewhere that looked more like the corner room of an underfunded clinic almost made her feel unwanted; is this what Adams had to deal with every day?

No matter; the most important part of their meeting was getting the proper space in between the table and herself. Assuming they were to spend a whole hour in there, plus the waiting time, it was reasonable to expect a bit of swelling, and given that her breasts were already so large they rubbed against the floor whenever she walked, it took a bit before Linda found the sweet spot where she was certain her tits had just enough room to bloat into without being too far away that it’d be offense to her therapist. Just the thought of that word made her feel weird: therapist. Never in her life did Linda expect to need one, especially not under those circumstances.

The panda gal sat there for what felt like far too long; did Dr. Adams forget that she asked for an emergency session? Was she even informed of it, or did Rivtech decide it wasn’t something that they needed to know before getting to work on time? The clock on the wall did say it was still ten to eight, but it felt so much later than that… didn’t help that her bust had begun to fill up already, forcing Linda to readjust her chair to give herself some more room to work with; by the time Dr. Adams showed up, she’d probably need to have her back flat against the opposite wall!

“Sorry I’m late!” - the door to the office smashed open and nearly rattled the cabinet onto the floor, leading the doctor to turn in her spot to close it just a bit more gently - “Had a long day yesterday and only just saw the message a few minutes ago, I hope you haven’t been waiting for too long!”

“Not at all, it’s fine,” Linda replied, knowing very well that it wasn’t fine, and their clock was ticking already, “I’m sorry for asking so late, but…”

“Rough day for you as well?” - the panda gal could only nod at this - “Alright, go ahead. Let me know.”

Linda sighed, trying to get her thoughts in order. There was a lot to unpack there, and the actual events themselves were only a minute fraction of everything she wanted to say. There was so much, in fact, that she didn’t even know where to begin; considering everything that had happened, was it even possible to pinpoint a precise instant where everything had gone to hell? Or when it came back? Or the myriad of rollercoasters, both emotional and physical, that she had found herself in?