therealprettyboygirl

CW: Rape pt. 1

It’s been difficult writing recently, because of my current relationship tumult. I’ve been with my partner since I began stripping. Prior to meeting him, I’d dabbled a bit in sex work. I’d tried to find a sugar daddy during one summer spent working a miserable internship in Brooklyn. A fe...

More Menstrual Madness

After dancing with Dale, it was a nearly insurmountable challenge to care about selling additional dances. Ultimately, I was still determined to leave with $800 after my tip-out, which meant I needed to rack up at least another $100. I’d spent about an hour puttering about on my phone, eyeing p...

A Roll in the Hay

Here's some episodes of an podcast I made 7 years ago when I was but a wee lass in my Sophomore year of college. My cohost is Lathan Vargason who is an amazingly talented artist and friend. If you click into my SoundCloud you can listen to 5 episodes in total. I was definitely not as aware of gen...

Kylie, The Light of Dale’s Life: Part 2

Him: Kylie never let me touch there. She was always worried about germs.

Me: Bacterial infections are concerning.

Him: And your butt is so soft. It feels like you don’t even have to shave it! Kylie always shaves her butt.

Me: Huh. I don’t really grow hair on my butt.

H...

Kylie, the Light of Dale’s Life: Part 1

I wouldn’t have gone into work at all on Friday were it not for Dale. I’d bumped into him Thursday night after my falling out with Rob, and it was as if the goddess above had sent him as a gift in the wake of the madness I’d just endured. I saw his simple white face and smiled because I kne...

Rob Triggered

I’d been vacillating on how and when to tell this story for some time now, because regulars are a tricky group of people to write about due to the intimacy of the relationship; however, at this point this man has irritated me to such an extent I’m ready to air his bullshit.

I met this ...

Abe’s Babies

I was lounging beside one of the VIP booths after a series of dances taking a break. When I noticed a black man standing nearby in a white undershirt and slacks. I hadn’t considered talking to him because it struck me as strange that he would show up to the strip club without a proper shirt. Bu...

My Three Bosses

Boss 1:

Me: (chatting with one of the bouncers)I’m so boring. I don’t party because my job is to party, and I don’t drink anymore.

Boss: (slides into the conversation) We can change that.

Me: I can’t. I’m taking medicine

Boss: Do you like wine?

Me: I like r...

A Very Married Man

A greasy looking white man with dyed dark brown hair came in during mid shift. I wasn’t interested in talking to him, however I’d spent the past half hour scrolling through my phone and I knew it was time to resign myself to the business of working. I sat on his lap, and we got to talking. He...

Sisterhood of the Traveling Taints

I had a regular show up with a lady companion. She was Russian, my regular is a Turkish American mix. He told me she was visiting and staying with him during her travels. At first I avoided them, because I don’t like to fall into couple traps, but eventually I said hi, and he greeted me warmly....

Couples: Chaz and Rocky

I sat chatting with a fatherly white man who vaguely reminded me of Jim Gaffigan when he asked if I could make room for his friend. I turned around to see a plump woman about his age with dark hair and black eyeliner around her eyes who appeared to be South Asian, maybe Filipina. I don’t like h...

Five Questions I Ask Before I Make My Sale

It’s getting increasingly difficult to write stories because I’m at this point where all men I interact with at work are utterly indistinguishable. John, Mark, Tom, Rick, Mike, Chris, Joe, Marcus, Thomas, Richard, Michael, Christopher! Why is there so little inspiration in naming men? It’s ...

Paul the Pleaser

You may remember a delightful old man from one of my stories a while back who said:

Him: I’m an ass man. Do a little twirl for me.

I did the twirl.

Him: You’re a solid 9, but that ass is a 10.

He’d put me off the last time, after giving me a number of backhanded comp...

Part 2: An Inch Too Far

I saw London Aussie, whose name I learned from Candice was Marcel, sitting near the stage slumped into a rolling armchair with his chin in his hand. I took my place on his lap and thanked him for his patience. This time I ordered my own root beer, primarily because I’d hoped he would generously...

Part: 1 The Floridian and His Tractor

I was surprised to see my fragrant London Aussie again, but he had contacted me, via his burner flip phone asking when I might be popping in. We coordinated, and he arrived right as I was walking into a half hour room with a man from Florida. I excused myself and ran over to London Aussie and let...

Part 2: Don’t Get Kidnapperino’d

I drove to Jerry’s house listening to My Favorite Murder, hoping my sister’s Lyft would arrive after me so she wouldn’t have to wait alone outside at night. Thankfully I made it there first. Bert came outside and helped me parallel park in front of the house on Jerry’s cobblestone drivewa...

Part 1: Bulging Eyed Bert and Geriatric Jerry

I was dancing on the small stage for a group of young black men when a white man in a white and blue gridded button down shirt came over and made it rain. I’d been eyeing him and his friend, another neatly dressed white man with gray hair, wondering if they would make my night, and the rain was...

Selena the Sadist

I saw a large bellied white man in a Hawaiian shirt with wavy gray blonde hair and a bristly unkempt beard staring at me while he bit his lip. He walked over to me and leaned in to speak. He smelled like he’d been hotboxing cigarettes in his car all day, it was difficult to keep myself from gri...

Papi Mami Mommy Daddy

Calling someone “papi” doesn’t have the same tinge of incest-play that “daddy” does for me, so I use it frequently with my Latino clients. I recently happened upon a new papi. Initially, I hadn’t paid much attention to him. I vaguely remembered being warned about him and his friend by...

Parental Love

One of my recent regulars, Evan stopped in Saturday. I had met him once before, about a month ago, on a Saturday after a date. Evan had admitted it must have seemed surprising, to stop by the club right after a date, but he hadn’t been ready to go home and call it a night. He and his date had g...

An Erotic Fantasy For Strippers

Once upon a time in the near future, there was a young woman named Irene. She was not especially unique in any way. She lived alone in a cozy little apartment in Inglewood with two gray cats. Irene was a stripper, and had been dancing for a few years at the time when this story begins, at a littl...

The King and Bobby

I was telling one of my favorite sporadic regulars, Bobby, about my writing and when I told him I hadn’t written about him, he was disappointed.

Him: Why not me?

Me: Because I’m protective of you.

Him: Are the stories mean?

Me: No… I just wasn’t sure how to write a...

Fighting Filipinas

Luciana and Katrina have an ongoing beef that seems to have happened accidentally. Luciana has seniority. She’s a curvy tan Filipina with wavy ash blonde hair. She’s been working our club for four years now. Katrina is one of the newer hires. She’s itty bitty, the kind of girl who’s tinin...

Solo Te Quiero A Ti

It’s a surprisingly bustling Thursday night and I’m sitting on a customer’s lap. A couple comes in and sits by the small stage. I realize I’ve danced with the man before. His name is Hector. He’s white latino with dark hair and brooding eyes. He owns a small construction company and ten...

Churrasco on the Barbie

Excerpt from longer work about a year spent in Brazil teaching English.

On Sunday we were invited for churrasco with Daniela and Adelino. Daniela was still recovering from a sickness I may or may not have passed onto her.

After telling us she would be by to pick us up at ...

Work O(f) (Art)

I’m dancing on stage when a guy about my age with dark spiky gelled hair comes in. He appears to be either Latino or Asian, sometimes it’s hard to tell, and LA is full of mixed people. He was one of a handful of early birds hanging out through mid shift. I didn’t pay much attention to him b...

Good Good Not Bad

I’m sitting, surveying the club. It’s a ghost town, maybe twenty girls to eight men— five of them regulars who only buy twofers. There’s an older white man in aviators with a broomstick mustache and plaid flannel shirt; a large bellied old white guy with a long beard who appears to have d...

BryCe

I didn’t write this story for some time because the DJ at the club, and the subject of this entry follows me on instagram. For the sake of his privacy, let’s call him BC. BC is a shortish white man with gelled, spiky dark brown hair and a thin chinstrap beard which serves to delineate where h...

Part 3: Learning Together

Danny scrolls through his phone and pulls up a picture of he and his twin. In the photo, Danny is smiling while his twin looks at the photographer with a stern frown.

Me: So you’re the cheerful one and he’s the serious twin?

Him: Yes.

Me: Is that why you’re so—

I s...

Part 2: Me and Danny McKee

The Kandinsky might be the hippest hotel for plutocrats I’ve been to, not that I have much experience traversing the spaces of the well to-do. When I pulled up in my dusty economy car, I immediately felt like what I am: a whore on call, except that I hate that kind of derogatory language and wo...