Hey friends, I’m giving away a few calendars to people who have subscribed to my blog for a year or longer. If that is you, DM me your address and I’ll Red-Rover it right over. (To my ESL readers, this is a reference to a childhood game)
CW: cancer, molestation, sexual harass...
2021-01-03 23:41:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey y’all. I’ve been going through a family emergency and haven’t had the mental energy to write this week, but I’ve been taking time and I’ll have something for you tomorrow. Until then~
2021-01-02 22:45:21 +0000 UTC View Post
Every day I wake up, look myself in the mirror, point at my reflection and shout, “YOU’RE A TOP, GODDAMN IT!” I slap my own face to make sure I really drive the point home. I sign my checks “Top Zaddy,” and my screen name is always “NumberOneTop4Lyfe,” and yet… I have recently bot...
2020-12-28 01:20:28 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey y’all, taking a short holiday rest, I will post on Sunday. A shorter post, but a post nonetheless lol. Happy Kwanzaa 💛
2020-12-26 21:47:53 +0000 UTC View Post
Nasir returned with two shot glasses and a bottle of tequila.
“Perfect!” Leila declared, reaching for a glass.
“God, that bad?” Nasir asked, his eyebrows pursing slightly.
“No, it’s not that.” Leila said, shaking her head.
Get ahold of yourself...
2020-12-19 04:30:58 +0000 UTC View Post
Leila checked her ad on Tryst. She knew how to advertise herself, but the issue was not her work so much as the market. There was only a sprinkling of viable daddies at any given time, and sometimes she felt as if she’d gone through every single one. She checked her messages, filteri...
2020-12-12 06:20:04 +0000 UTC View Post
I don’t know if the burden of stigma ever completely lifts, but I’ve found it’s gotten lighter with my transition to full service sex work. For a while, the issue was my partners’ comfort with the idea. For one of them, it was an issue of masculinity. What would it say about him, as a man...
2020-12-04 06:02:11 +0000 UTC View Post
I welcomed a new possible regular into my vulva this week. It’s like birth, but the opposite. A new life has slid up into mine cheeks. Incredibly, he was one of the people I’d met via What’s Your Price. I’d expected that site to be a crapshoot after the number of dead end conversations I...
2020-11-28 06:30:41 +0000 UTC View Post
It’s been a very eventful few weeks. I’ve felt fifteen minutes behind and like I’m forgetting something. To be fair, I have been a day or two behind on several deadlines *ahem*, and I have definitely forgotten to add important dates to my iCal. I’m a very busy fae, and usually I enjoy the...
2020-11-22 08:31:51 +0000 UTC View Post
So much going on, but I will be posting tomorrow!
2020-11-21 04:36:45 +0000 UTC View Post
I’m beginning this entry on 11/11, thinking about wishes. If I had one wish right now, it might be to skip ahead through to the end of the pandemic. But that idea is abstract. Who might I unwittingly lose and not realize until it’s too late? How many deaths would I be skipping through, withou...
2020-11-14 01:57:29 +0000 UTC View Post
As I’m writing this, I’ve been struggling to think about anything other than the election, but it’s not as though life has stopped. It’s plowed forward even as Nevada’s vote counting has come to a screeching halt.
I gave up on What’s Your Price ...
2020-11-07 09:02:46 +0000 UTC View Post
I began my day with a reading courtesy of one of my friends from elementary school. We were two of the three black people in our class. Our dads became friends, so we ended up spending a lot of time together, until her dad confronted my dad about his trademark absentee parenting style. It had bee...
2020-11-01 03:53:32 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey, my final Rahi episode will come tomorrow. I’m running a little behind and need to quality control. So here are some sexy pics for right now 😘
2020-10-31 02:29:46 +0000 UTC View Post
There’s nothing like a birthday to make one take a deep retrospective dive of self-assessment. I don’t know why, but this birthday has been particularly present in my mind for months prior to this moment. It’s the approaching close to the beautiful time of endless possibilities known as my ...
2020-10-27 00:26:36 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey y’all,
Tomorrow is my birthday and I’m taking today and tomorrow to enjoy celebrating my 28th revolution around the sun. I have a story I will post on Monday with some updates, reflections, and discussions about my asshole. Thank you for your love and patience 🙏🏽💕
It’s been lovely taking a tiny break from being buried in my iPhone, responding to group messages, DM’s, and emails for a few days to enjoy some time in nature, getting dirty without worrying about how I look, the amount of hair on my body, or whether or not I smell disgusting. I spent time i...
2020-10-17 08:27:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Evan came into town, which meant I did my best to halt my endless onslaught of work. It’s very hard for me to stop working. I’ve internalized too much capitalism, too much scarcity even when I’m fine, too much pressure to be constantly making money.
I took a money relationship quiz *...
2020-10-10 02:39:17 +0000 UTC View Post
It wasn’t any one thing about her, it was everything. Her smile, the way she blatantly disregarded anything said by a man. The way her eyes glazed over until a woman spoke up, and then she was all ears. I met her at a DSA birthday party. I hadn’t intended to make friends, but there I was, hol...
2020-10-02 17:21:36 +0000 UTC View Post
There’s something that I’ve been realizing lately, and that is that many rich people don’t realize they’re rich. They mask their wealth under words like “comfortable” and “doing well for now,” but at their core, they have a nagging sense of precariousness. They’re one wrong move...
2020-09-26 00:23:50 +0000 UTC View Post
I don’t remember exactly what my intentions were for Evan. The first time we met, I was doing my best to abide by the monogamish rules of my relationship. On the way out of our dance, he had asked if I ever saw clients outside of the club. I could tell he wasn’t the kind who was willing to pa...
2020-09-18 02:46:46 +0000 UTC View Post
I took a few weeks after my last session with Rahi before scheduling the third round. It was a combination of busyness, grappling with long distance relationship problems, and sorting through my feelings of abandonment. My high minded self knew I was projecting a number of insecurities onto Rahi,...
2020-09-11 19:57:12 +0000 UTC View Post
The second tantra session fell in the middle of the peak of my ovulation cycle. It hadn’t been intentional, it was just the next day Rahi and I were both available. I was alert and a little on edge with my own sexual arousal energy. I’ve mentioned how intense my periods are, but I haven’t g...
2020-09-07 02:16:37 +0000 UTC View Post
Hi y’all,
I’ve bitten off more than I can chew this week and while I’d expected to be up into the evening typing away at my laptop about my Tantra Adventures, instead I will be entertaining GKM. Sorry for the delay! I promise I will have a juicy new story for y’all as soo...
2020-09-05 01:32:03 +0000 UTC View Post
I think I’ve hit an exhaustion wall with regard to my sex work. Maybe it’s burnout. I’m amazed it’s taken five months to get to this point, but here I am, quite fatigued seeing the same two or three customers every week. I am everyone’s dissatisfied “girlfriend”. Recently GKM asked ...
2020-09-03 22:40:05 +0000 UTC View Post
The backlash following Bella Thorne’s creation of an OnlyFans account was more or less immediate. I along with other sex work activists immediately took to social media to express my outrage over this clumsy experiment in privilege. Due to the closure of in-person sex work establishments such a...
2020-08-29 06:25:55 +0000 UTC View Post
Hi everyone!
I’m working on an article, and feel like I’m slogging through mud, but fear not (not that you were scared lol). But I will be posting another full entry tomorrow. It’s been another hectic week of surreal viral “success”. I wish that algorithms appreciated level headed...
2020-08-28 06:51:26 +0000 UTC View Post
Session 1: CW I don’t get into any of the fun stuff, this is a platonic session, so if you’re just waiting for the pelvic work, you’ve gotta wait a little longer.
Rahi told me to show up in yoga clothes-- something lightweight and easy to move in. For the first session I wo...
2020-08-21 05:12:48 +0000 UTC View Post
Finding sex work as a person with a vulva is always tricky. The words that cishet men use to search for sexual services are well integrated into our vocabulary. They can search for a “happy ending massage” or “escort services” and come up with useful search results, but when I’ve tried ...
2020-08-14 04:58:37 +0000 UTC View Post