This game finally remembered to have a fire in it's firewatching simulation. Up until now it's been too busy simulating a midlife crisis. This is the end. The firewatching is complete and the fires have been watched. All one of them.
I've been getting so many rad and gnarly requests f...
2023-05-01 04:55:45 +0000 UTC View Post
It's me, the Malformed Movie Man, long lost twin of the Buff Movie Buff, or something. I barely comprehend the plot of this movie because it's unfathomably insane but in this case that's definitely a good thing.
This comes from 1969 and it's directed by some guy they call the "King of Cult"...
2023-05-01 04:24:58 +0000 UTC View Post
Somehow, due to a clerical error or unforeseen glitch in the matrix, this month i have 2 topics from the same guy. The same guy who made me review the Kevin Bacon classic Tremors earlier in the month is back with even more Kevin Bacon related requests.
This time i'm not talking about his mo...
2023-04-18 20:46:22 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally here's night 2 of this year's mania. This took forever because all my funny edits kept getting flagged and i had to render the stupid fucking thing 6 times.
Night 2 was drastically suckier than night 1, so when that happens i have to make my own fun by letting go of...
2023-04-18 20:27:24 +0000 UTC View Post
Look at that thumbnail. LOOK. AT. IT.
That is exactly what it looks like. That is a roided up super powered Casey Jones crackling with electricity and about to kill someone with a Hadouken, and beside him is none other than Judge Dredd who just so happens to be a goddamn werewolf today.
... 2023-04-08 20:52:54 +0000 UTC View Post
It's mania season again, brother. That doesn't just mean mania itself, it means more wrestling than any human can watch. I'm a week behind on AEW, still haven't seen ROH Supercard, and for the sake of living my life i had to give up on NXT entirely a long time ago. Doesn't matter. I ain't here to...
2023-04-08 06:11:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally, a request that gives me a reason to use my Shudder. There's good shit on there but the lack of a PS4 app means i have to reach all the way to the tv remote and switch the TV to X-Box input. I usually don't have time for tedious errands like that so instead i just default to my ps4 to pla...
2023-04-07 02:10:18 +0000 UTC View Post
What do you think when you hear the term Baconator? Is it the thing you order at Wendy's when you've gotta be at a fancy wedding and can't risk the spicy chicken blowing your sphincter out? Yes. But it's also Kevin Bacon, the original Baconator, hero to all. Here he is in his prime takin...
2023-04-03 20:42:38 +0000 UTC View Post
It's anime time baby. Got another Sushi Swine Request sliding down the slop chute. This time it's a weird one. I've seen this show described as a hidden gem or a cult classic. I don't know how big of a fanbase it really has but i know it came out in 2008 and in all that time i've never heard of i...
2023-04-03 20:17:41 +0000 UTC View Post
This is the true Fight Club video. The Fight Club of Fight Club videos. That previous one was just a prelude to the real Project Mayhem, which is my actual life and multiple selves. I have evolved into another me again and now you face the furious fun of a fully fucked filmbro filling the air wit...
2023-04-03 00:33:15 +0000 UTC View Post
The game that refuses to die returns again, but this time with... actual progress. Now that the 6 episode detour of me carrying dead guys around the entire world and delivering pizzas is finally done we can get to the fun part of the game which is me riffing on cutscenes.
But first we...
2023-04-01 00:37:18 +0000 UTC View Post
The Evil Within 1 hasn't won yet, I'm still in there, tenacious, no matter how many crap boss battles it throws at me. I'm trapped within The Evil Within like those Germans in that submarine in Das Boot. But i'm gonna rise from these depths of doom, just you wait.
By far the worst thi...
2023-04-01 00:09:10 +0000 UTC View Post
This is one of those "quirky" indie games, if you couldn't tell by the title. You're a little vegetable maniac going around talking to other berries and veggies, killing snails, and ripping up bills. It controls fine and i guess it's sort of cute and funny. Whatever, it's self-explanatory. One of...
2023-03-30 08:12:29 +0000 UTC View Post
Okay so first i thought people might wanna see me play High on Life even though it looks like an unfunny pile of crap and is made by an alleged sex pest. But despite already being downloaded it needed to update so i'm like screw it, it's probably lame anyway.
So then i thought alright...
2023-03-30 07:26:15 +0000 UTC View Post
Here's a game with all the promise and potential in the Galaxy, squandered on a bunch of online bullshit. Crappy controls with a hud that fills 90 percent of the screen with stupid pointless bullshit and a gameplay loop that seems to be 100 percent scouring barren palette swap planets for mineral...
2023-03-27 19:27:31 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally the fated day has arrived where i play Crazy Taxi. Unfortunately it's the newfangled version with some of the lamest music ever created. This is one of the worst war crimes ever unleashed on an unsuspecting populace. I assume the story here is that some fool somewhere didn't do his due di...
2023-03-27 19:13:16 +0000 UTC View Post
Hey we're finally getting close to the end of Firewatch. We're on Day 77 now according to the game, which is also exactly what it felt like. This game took me 1 night to play through but i felt like The Holocene Man watching an entire epoch pass by. Except that would be significantly cooler than ...
2023-03-26 19:01:37 +0000 UTC View Post
This is the coolest boss in the game. Just look at him. He rules. He looks cool, he has a fun boss fight gimmick, a cool looking arena that's got fish floating around it, and he also fills the role of Boss that is actually friendly and reasonable to Travis that every game has one of.
I love...
2023-03-26 18:32:12 +0000 UTC View Post
Okay look, one of the Buff Movie Buff Patrons requested Fight Club. Jeez, man. Why don't you also request that i drive without a seatbelt and smoke a hundred cigarettes while you're at it, cause you know damn well I'm not supposed to do that. Somebody didn't pay attention to the first two rules o...
2023-03-26 08:25:25 +0000 UTC View Post
Today i'll be reviewing some of the films i've recently seen on Tubi, the only streaming service i actually like. It's free with ads and genuinely has a selection that dunks Disney plus in the toilet and shoves Netflix into a locker. I pay for like 6 of these fucking stupid things and the one tha...
2023-03-25 02:07:29 +0000 UTC View Post
This movie was very successful and had a lot of buzz but none of that convinced me to watch it until a heroic Buff Movie Buff requested it. I haven't had my ass kicked this hard since my last Wendy's Spicy Chicken Sandwich.
This movie takes place somewhere in India in the 1920s or something...
2023-03-12 20:22:44 +0000 UTC View Post
Another Sushi Swine Recommendation fell down my chimney. A sushi swine can be demon or angel, generous or mischievous, a bountiful blessing or a terrible curse. This was definitely the former. It's true, it finally happened. The mythical good anime has finally been found.
Ranking of k...
2023-03-12 19:42:50 +0000 UTC View Post
The nefarious sushi swine, Zane chained me in the dungeon and forced me to watch this. A cute noodly witch anime from the late 90s. I vaguely remember the 4kids version on tv but this sadistic swinus-american demanded i watch it in Japanese, so i did. And i didn't just phone it in by watching 1 o...
2023-03-12 19:27:46 +0000 UTC View Post
I am a dishwasher. My hands are permanently puckered and i got troubles going back generations. I got rock n roll in my soul and i'm dyin for a dream. Cause some dreams ain't what they seems. Sometimes it seems everything's coming up Milhouse and other times you're just plain coming apart at the ...
2023-03-12 10:47:48 +0000 UTC View Post
Vacuuminator's request this month was a sick wrestling comic instead of a movie. Very clever. I didn't make a specific tier for comics but now the precedent is set so if anyone wants to substitute their movie/music/anime or whatever for a comic like he did go right ahead.
I'll have to...
2023-03-12 09:52:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Working my way through your cool requests, all of which have been rad so far. A prime example of that coolness being this japanese jem from the shrieking 70s. You can tell because this whole movie feels like it was written on 70s drugs. But it was actually written by a small child.
The reas...
2023-03-05 07:20:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Apparently i went from episode 12 to 14 the other day. I must have subconsciously wiped DestroyMan from my memory because i'm sick of him. This episode features his super lame boss fight and some super cool cutscenes.
I don't usually post lets plays at the beginning of the month, i ha...
2023-03-02 17:43:30 +0000 UTC View Post
The grind never stops baby cause when it stops you're dead. That's life and that's No More Heroes 3. With Sniping Lee gone it's time to barrel on toward the final battle and that starts with grinding away at these designated matches to earn a fight with Sonic Juice.
Sonic Juice rules and is...
2023-02-28 01:33:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Cowabunga dudes! It's pizza time. The sad saga of Sam dealing with those dead bodies is finally over. Now it's time to relax and take it easy with a fun pizza mission, which it turns out is also a hellish nightmare because this is Death Stranding so of course it is.
Speaking of pizza ...
2023-02-27 20:29:33 +0000 UTC View Post
Finally, the Search for Sniping Lee saga reaches its deeply unsatisfying conclusion. Behold the legend, sniping Lee, in all his glory, for all 2 minutes he's in the game. This is my least favorite boss fight fake out by far, not just because im deprived of Sniping Lee but another Destroyman fight...
2023-02-27 06:27:38 +0000 UTC View Post