Yeah, this one has a name. A while back, my friend and I were recovering from a hangover with a shit load of mac & cheese and a bunch of trashy Lifetime movies (she'd never seen a Lifetime movie before, so I feel both thrilled and guilty that I got her hooked). I can't remember the name of th...
2020-04-23 12:55:54 +0000 UTC View Post
(note: hot sauces should usually have funny, flirty, tongue-in-cheek names. But I’m actually kind of terrible at coming up with those... so if anybody has a fun idea for a name for this sauce, drop it in the comments!)
My absolute favorite hot sauce of all time is called “Miss ...
2020-04-22 17:28:39 +0000 UTC View Post
This is how I usually start writing a story. Post-it notes on cardboard. To be fair, the process has been a little different than it would be with a work of fiction, but that kind of makes it fun, too. In this case, a chronological outline that at least pins down a lot of the high points, as I re...
2020-04-22 15:54:00 +0000 UTC View Post
It's funny the things you miss. Back home, there was this outstanding Jewish deli near my place, and I would head down there all the time... They had this $5 breakfast special that was a cup of coffee plus a bagel with smoked salmon, red onion, capers, cream cheese — classic lox. God, thos...
2020-04-22 12:24:40 +0000 UTC View Post
Yup. A memoir, a la Big Girls Don’t Cry by Tina Small. (if you haven’t read it, let me know… I might have a PDF lying around here somewhere...) An original collection of life stories that tell the tale of... me. Printed, hardback, ink on paper, delivered right to your door.
W...
2020-04-11 17:33:03 +0000 UTC View Post
... for all of the folks who say I look sad all the time. I don’t think it’s sad, per se... maybe more “in thought?” Some gals have resting [insert quality] face; I guess I just have resting sad face.
Hey, real quick: I’ve said this in private a lot lately, but I just wa...
2020-04-08 23:50:46 +0000 UTC View Post
This was always the hard part…
With tense fingers, Roger navigated the drone over the wall of the penthouse terrace, and lowered it, ever so slightly, to about six feet off the ground. The lights were on full blast inside the cavernous apartment, so there was still enough light t...
2020-03-30 22:29:28 +0000 UTC View Post
You had no way of knowing that the blouse she was wearing was, at one point, destined for the trash can.
She had gotten it only a week before, after one of her hit-and-miss online clothing stock-ups. Some of the articles miraculously fit like a glove; most were destined f...
2020-03-30 11:43:37 +0000 UTC View Post
...because there were requests to put the pics from the IG story up. This has been an uncharacteristically brief post. Good day.
2020-03-25 21:37:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Kurzgesagt is this really great thing. If you haven't checked them out, give them a look on YouTube. Essentially, they're a collective of researchers, writers, illustrators, and animators who spend boatloads of time ma...
2020-03-25 13:54:48 +0000 UTC View Post
The memory on my phone was almost full, so I was going through and deleting a bunch of pictures. This one almost made the chopping block. The room was too messy, the lighting kind of chopped my head off, and if you ask any woman over the age of 25 how she feels about downward-up angles, you’ll ...
2020-03-22 16:42:10 +0000 UTC View Post
You waited outside for an hour, but it felt like longer. She was making her daily trip to the vegetable stand down the street, you knew, at some point. She would only be gone for a few minutes; in a neighborhood like hers, not even long enough to need to lock the door.
When sh...
2020-03-22 00:34:52 +0000 UTC View Post
When I was in college, I took two semesters of Latin. I have no idea why... I seem to recall something about the romanticism of it. It birthed so many other languages, so I guess I thought I would gain some greater insight into the structure of words themselves if if figured out where so...
2020-03-19 23:48:53 +0000 UTC View Post
...that she lived down the street. You were new to the area, and you could swear you saw her a few fays ago, sitting across the plaza, sipping on an espresso. You asked around, without being too conspicuous.
One night, you made the decision to perch your phone in the crooked b...
2020-03-10 01:27:22 +0000 UTC View Post
I've kinda fallen in love with this image. Inspired by the set I posted recently, this is a re-creation of the first shot, with one (or two!) noticable difference/s.
It's funny how things like this work out. I would never have taken this image, except that a dear friend shared their inspir...
2020-02-21 04:15:30 +0000 UTC View Post
A final generous dusting of talcum powder, spread evenly across the vast expanse. Nadya felt her nose tickle as the fine white dust floated into the air, but she had become used to the sensation, and set to work ensuring the depths of her cleavage were coated; Zoya, meanwhile, dutifully managed t...
2020-02-16 17:55:39 +0000 UTC View Post
My inspiration for this, my first "set," is a testament to, well, resourcefulness. I purchased a few pieces of lingerie on Amazon a little while back — little numbers that were only €2 or €3 each — and I was fairly certain that, even in the size that I was ordering (6X makes a girl feel s...
2020-02-13 03:20:24 +0000 UTC View Post
I've gotten a few letters from you guys, asking if (and this is the phrase that was used) everything is OK. And, thank you for those. I need to respond, but in short, yes. Things are fine. They are just… Things.
Yes. With the beginning of February, I kind of shattered my promise of doing ...
2020-02-10 03:22:37 +0000 UTC View Post
I'm not going to Google it, because I find there to be something a little lovely about the idea that, in the not-too-distant past, we used to be able to go into a restaurant, sit down, somebody would bring up some fact, people would argue about it, and there was no oracle in your pocket where you...
2020-02-04 19:14:20 +0000 UTC View Post
Yeah, this one's gonna have to pay a visit to the seamstress... I was waaaay off...
Funny... looks way better on the model... 🤣🤦🏻♀️🤣🤦🏻♀️
2020-02-03 23:12:47 +0000 UTC View Post
Because I think you missed ham.
Ruffles. And they are ham flavored.
Despite my three posts last month relating to the benefits of ham, I never tried ham-flavored potato chips.
And then, I broke down. I bought a bag of these.
The verdict? Eh! They're ok! They taste oddly l...
2020-02-01 23:34:36 +0000 UTC View Post
So, I've talked about this before. But when it comes to certain types of garments, I find myself in impossible situations. Now, usually, I opt for T-shirts and jeans (that's about 95% of my day-to-day wear, and I'm a T-shirt junkie, so it works), but every now and then, it's nice to feel like a r...
2020-01-31 21:10:37 +0000 UTC View Post
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
<... 2020-01-31 01:09:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Would you rather fart every time you laugh, or burp every time you cry?
Would you rather poop your pants once a year in public, or every day in private?
Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses, or one horse-sized duck?
Would rather be able to speak to animals, or communicat...
2020-01-30 01:55:18 +0000 UTC View Post
I'll be gash-durned if I miss one! So just a quick selfie tonight. I love all of you. 😘😁
2020-01-29 09:48:55 +0000 UTC View Post
An extension of my post on Instagram earlier. This is me in the middle of the process. It was going to start out as a Bolognese, but eventually I decided to go more of the vodka cream route. I like to think of this picture as a sort of Where's Waldo, but more appropriately, a stark reminder to my...
2020-01-27 20:22:07 +0000 UTC View Post
I am a bit of a night owl, so there are times when I post these messages well after midnight. My general rule is that if I can get it posted before midnight Eastern Standard US time, I will be OK.
Tonight, it's been a late one. And I realized that I am very close to crossing that event hori...
2020-01-27 04:19:33 +0000 UTC View PostI swear to God, it took me 30 minutes to figure out the chords for this one. Which feels like a long time for just 12 notes.
The payoff? I now have a handy dirge to play, should anything mildly tragic occur in my presence. #weekendwin #lifeskills #its-a-me
2020-01-25 18:36:01 +0000 UTC View Post
As Mel Brooks said in Spaceballs, "Merchandising!" ...Nah, not so much of a cash grab as a rarely produced Boba Fett action figure from 1979.
First thing's first — I'm dipping my toe into the pond of 2020-01-24 22:31:42 +0000 UTC View Post
...that the other day I mentioned button gapping in the flannel shirt. And then, I totally left you all on the line for that one.
After this picture was taken, I ended up keeping it on for a little while longer… I don't think the fabric around the buttons and the buttonholes will ever be...
2020-01-23 21:22:29 +0000 UTC View Post