heatherbeck

Bag Thing

An absolutely little reflection. Though I’m sure not even Wes Bentley could muster a “wow” outta this one. (The Video should work if you click on it, but Vimeo is giving me some trouble, so let me know if you have a hard time.)

Just Where to Start.

After so long, and after a month that featured the first flu you’ve had in three years, and the more standard-issue normalcies, and the days that slip together, because concern is dependant on the time of the day, and history is short, and that’s why it repeats itself so gash-durned always…...

Just a thing.

Got a comment from a subscriber who said they like the long stuff, but sometimes, they just want something brief. Bite sized. Quick. Easy to digest. Chevrolet Beat. Shortie, Angel, Want to show the nation My Appreciation. Sometimes, Ubers take place after dawn.

Happy April, y’all. 😘 #m...

Fireside No. 1

It was something Roosevelt did. I hope a part of it was the fact that he wanted to keep himself accountable. But I think he did it for the correct reasons too. 

This is something I would like to do each Friday. I'm getting settled, and it's just fucking nice, you know? To take all the ...

What the Frock?

Say what you will about ol' Heather, but this chick knows how to clean up well.

I said she knows how to. NOT that her default mode isn't Full-Gremlin.

Since really settling into a new city, I've been finding my footing, which is pretty cool. And in that time,...

Dingbats (Nincompoops?)

There was a word that was tactlessly omitted the other day, when I was formulating my Grand Return post. (For future readers, it was posted on Instagram, in March of 2023, and featured an image of yours truly in the green... top? The one with the cleavage. That one.)

In short, I spoke of th...

Laissez les bon temps rouler.

And that, mon fréres, is how you make a gumbo. #TheSumOfItsParts #RouxIsGonnaHappenOnTheUpperLeft

S. S. Mulligan

There are two boats. These boats have been sailing around together for a while now... a long while. There have been a bunch of adventures over the years: popping into different ports to have a good time; weathering tempests out on the open sea; figuring out what the fuck to do when the wind dies ...

Pineapple

I love bullies.

Don’t get me wrong: I have no respect for bullies. I have no admiration for them. The act of bullying somebody is (and I don’t think this is the Merriam-Webster definition) a cheap attempt to make some other human feel awful for no particular reason. There’s nothing co...

The second impersonation.

Sweet Jesus, I think I need to script the next one so it doesn't go off the rails so completely. If I had one less scotch in me at this... 3:21 a.m.(?!?!?!) This would never see the light of day. That's what I get for tinkering. 

Ah, well. :-) That's my take on... well, I think you'll ...

Guess That Voice - Part 1.

New mic, new me. Still getting this thing calibrated. I'm in a new setting, nowhere near the veritable (makeshift) Hollywood-quality sound studio and crazy-ass lended mic I had at my disposal before. So pardon the dust while I figure out if acoustic tiles are necessary, how they work, and whether...

Under the Wire

Soooo…. There’s this time at the end of every month where I realize that 10 days out has turned into 4 days, and then into 2, and I think, “I’ll make do for my Patrons!” And, once a year, that end of the month turns into New Years — a holiday I once had a tremendous affection for, but...

The Truth is Out There.

Soooo... there are really only two possible reasons I lost the bet.

The first is simple. Essentially, the Mayans were right. Hear me out.

Possibility One:

Some you might remember that kerfuffle back in the oughts, when we thought that, because the Mayan calendar...

Meatballs

What a difference three inches makes.

Funny, huh? Because, there’s a double meaning in that. One is a penis joke! Do you get it?! Because penises.

I never understood why that’s a point of obsession for the menfolk. I assume it’s all actually just over-exaggerated, and t...

Batter’ Up!

You Patreon lovelies do deserve a bit of a sneak peek. The Instagram folks get it for free! And that just doesn’t seem fair.

The next post is going to involve literally outgrowing my very favorite T-shirt; a narrative that dwells on the idea of nostalgia. Those of you who have been around...

The Workspace.

I know, I know. Boobs to come, no worries, y’all’ll get a fancy of what the Good Lord dun decided to give me.

But! For now? Before I de-sweat myself? From the Desk of Heather Beck?

Well, here’s the desk.

I’m…………. Excited. ☺️

2022-11-19 02:13:24 +0000 UTC View Post

Fukk Yeah.

No boobs right now. But environments change you. They leave you breathless, or with a nasty scar (as the prophet once said).

Good God, when was the last time you get to feel like yourself. Especially during the same three-day period where you have to deal with…… family. Triumphancy (it ...

Eat, Drink, and be Fat and Drunk

This is a happy Heather.

One who behaves erratically whilst at a nice restaurant. She says silly things, and gets more drinks than she needs, and loathes the idea of leaving before 4 hours have passed. (If she’s in a tipping culture, she always tells the server that she’ll take care of...

Start at the Bottom, and Work Your Way Up.

Can you feel it? I can feel it. Kinda? Maybe not really? Maybe it’s just psychosomatic.

I’ve alluded to this before, but I’m beginning to be impressed by the fact that Ol’ Nat and Olga are… what’s the right word. Evolving?

I’m pushing 39 (I just resentfully smashed those...

Just to let you know.

In an attempt to let you know the inner workings of my day-to-day, I have to start (again) somewhere. So, I just wanted to let you all know that, whenever I access my "downloads" folder on my Dock (I'm a MacOS girl), this is what the FIRST picture is, every time. 

It's been there for m...

Dishes, Spiders, Cutouts, and the Best Painting Ever.

I suppose that's what this bully pulpit is for, isn't it? I'm not gonna lie. I've gotten a bit burned out lately, for all the reasons we usually get burned out these days. That's okay, and I don't foul myself for it. I think we all should get some sweet, sweet time to just be good-and-burned-out ...

I Wonder About the Old Songsters.

They make a whole lot of sense, don’t get me wrong.

But Willie, and Patsy, and but git’-dang’it, I spen’t unironic damned evenings having a fine time at Cracker Barrel.

If you’re not native to to U.S., check it out. It is a cultural experience on par with the Smithsonian. <...

"Slow Down, Everyone..."

"...You're moving too fast."

Not a personal criticism. More of a rare moment of nostalgia from a late-stage (or can I call myself and early-stage?) millennial? In either case, as a Floridian-of-the-time (seems important to insert that particular state in the Union), 2022-08-01 12:02:34 +0000 UTC View Post

Letters From Heather — The Art of Distraction — 2022

[Ah ha! On more, and I got @AldoInHeaven’s images mixed up! So I THINK this is the pic to go with this story — sans clothes — the PREVIOUS is in water, so I’ll guess that’svthe lake one! Well, context is hard earned, but better late than never. Enjoy the full res (ah, will always wo...