I don’t think ‘hut’ is quite the right word for this.
The structure before them looked like a potter’s shack made of cobbled-together planks and mud-brick. The roof sagged under the weight of what looked like hundreds of spoons tied together with twine that cl...
2025-03-10 19:21:57 +0000 UTC View PostDucaz. Are my eyes tricking me or did he swap the horse he stole for ANOTHER stolen horse?
Ducaz waved at them, his grin wide enough to make any sane person suspicious. “Ah, it’s good to see you all still breathing. Shall we continue?”
Lena squinted at him. “I thought...
2025-03-10 09:52:50 +0000 UTC View PostThe wagon squeaked and the twigs underfoot cracked as Rob guided the horse down a narrower, less-traveled path.
This is probably the right choice, Blorbo begrudgingly admitted to himself. They were already three days behind schedule, and Silverleaf was nothing but a name at th...
2025-03-07 18:10:52 +0000 UTC View PostBlorbo readjusted his vision and got a good look at the creatures.
They were too small to be the orcs he knew in the games he’d played in his last life (no idea how he suddenly remembered this information), but definitely orc-adjacent. A goblin-like species that looked like they possssed ...
2025-03-06 16:15:28 +0000 UTC View PostIt was finally the day of the trip out of town. Anders had been in peak form, grumbling all morning about how long it’d taken them to finally get going, and how his collection of fine knives could’ve fallen to the hands of some greasy baron who was probably unwittingly hanging them atop a rei...
2025-03-05 20:08:23 +0000 UTC View PostRob and Lena arrived at the robed mage’s hideout as the last remnants of daylight faded into a deep indigo.
Rob pulled the reins, bringing the horse to a halt near the entrance. “We tie it here.”
Lena hopped down, dusting her clothes before reaching to secure the rope. The grass...
2025-03-05 18:27:18 +0000 UTC View PostOh yeah. This guy. Lena had gone on about him on the way here while Rob barely reacted beyond the occasional grunt.
Zukaman, both Priest and High Keeper of the temple, but preferred to be called Priest. He was also a former Paladin who fought in something called the First Orc-Human War, and...
2025-03-04 18:34:26 +0000 UTC View PostHowever, the next ten minutes went by without a single passenger so much passing a glance at the makeshift altar, despite the constant bellowing from Ducaz. That made him impatient.
“Business is slow today. These people don’t have nearly enough fate to part with their money!” His brow...
2025-03-04 14:21:59 +0000 UTC View PostShop closed early, and since Rob now had a freaking wagon with him, he got to load Blorbo straight onto the back like a sack of potatoes.
Rob was never the most talkative man, and he grew even more quiet the closer to the temple he was. It was mostly Lena who did the talking, and it didn’...
2025-03-03 22:22:03 +0000 UTC View PostThat damn robed mage.
From his stationary vantage point, Blorbo felt a weird tingling sweeping over his surface. Something was happening. The cabbages that had been threatening to topple were suddenly steadied, and there was no sound or dramatic flourish that would cause any suspicion. It w...
2025-03-03 15:17:09 +0000 UTC View PostThe least bad thing about being stunned was that Blorbo’s senses numbed for about thirty minutes. It wasn’t the worst feeling in the world, since when you couldn’t feel, nothing could hurt him. But the table knew it was only a matter of time until fate hit him with another idiotic trial tha...
2025-03-02 17:56:36 +0000 UTC View PostThe moonless night had fallen, and the only sound Blorbo could hear was the occasional gust of wind.
The fireplace was dwindling and he was starting to feel colder, especially as the season was seemingly changing. There was no-one left to turn up the heat, and Blorbo had silently curs...
2025-03-02 14:48:42 +0000 UTC View PostAs the orange hue of the sunset bled into the horizon, Lena pushed the cart back to the market. She had already been complaining to herself about how sore he arms felt, and of course Blorbo was the one who had to hear all of it.
She reached the market to see that most shopmongers had left, ...
2025-03-01 17:59:30 +0000 UTC View PostLena clapped her hands together again. “Alright, we just need to try again!”
The dragon queen nodded. “Indeed. We simply need to refine our coordination.”
Lena sat.
A second later, the dragon sat.
“I thought that was so good!” Lena cheered. “Let’s try again...
2025-02-28 18:54:42 +0000 UTC View Post“Dragon Queen of the… Candy?” Lena hesitated.
Hah! A dairy queen! What’s she going to do to me? Shower me in sweets?
“Mother of Balance Sheets!” The mage yelped. “You summoned something zat can talk!” With careful steps, he slightly bent over as he examined th...
2025-02-28 15:56:03 +0000 UTC View PostBlorbo groaned. Are you serious right now? Finance?! Who in their right mind would be willing to learn such a thing? How is this fun and mysterious?
“Sounds so fun and mysterious!” Lena responded cheerily. “I would love to learn such a thing!”
Lena… you be...
2025-02-27 07:12:37 +0000 UTC View PostLena barely paid attention to the business of selling cabbages the following day. Blorbo saw before his very own eyes that she gave one customer four cabbages for the price of one by just absent-mindedly shoved them all into his giant bag. That weasel didn’t even try to point out the mistake, a...
2025-02-27 05:49:59 +0000 UTC View PostThey weren’t sure if it had past midnight when they returned home, and it was much too cold outside without starting a fire, but they couldn’t afford to sleep yet.
Blorbo was placed at the same place he’d always stood, with Lena, Rob, and Anders around her. Lena smoothed the edges, he...
2025-02-26 18:16:08 +0000 UTC View PostBimbleton was quick to launch his table like a projectile. But this time, things were different.
Rob struck first. With a grunt, he threw Blorbo with all his might, even before Bimbleton could shout, “Extremely Extremely Almighty Push!”
And Blorbo flew.
...
2025-02-26 17:30:38 +0000 UTC View PostLena hugged Blorbo the entire way back to her position, feeling every single crack on his surface. “You’re going to be fine, little thing. You’re going to be fine,” she whispered.
Ouch. Ouch! Don’t touch me there, you weirdo. Who caresses a table?
She gently placed ...
2025-02-25 22:02:00 +0000 UTC View Post“Robert, dear.” Lena lightly tapped him on his shoulder. “Don’t push yourself if you feel down. I will fight for us.” She stood tall, her eyes burning with determination. “Let me take over for Round 2.”
“But—”
She placed a finger in front of his lips. “Come back ...
2025-02-25 21:08:57 +0000 UTC View PostAnders grumbled as he stormed forward, “This is nonsensical. A table duel? I will not participate in any snobby noble tradition!”
However, before Anders could take another step, the five guards surrounding the room, who had been standing silently like well-choreographed st...
2025-02-25 19:54:48 +0000 UTC View PostWith gilded fence posts, elaborate ivy carvings, a fountain with no actual water, the Bimbleton residence loomed before them, a grotesquely lavish display of wealth and bad taste.
And in front of that very gate, bellowing like a deranged naysayer in the middle of the town square, stoo...
2025-02-25 18:10:13 +0000 UTC View PostNow, how to actually do it?
He scanned the room. Anders was closing in on Lena and Rob, eyes sharp, interrogation mode fully activated. They had approximately ten seconds before their cabbage continent house of lies collapsed in on itself.
Blorbo needed a distraction, and a really goo...
2025-02-25 02:14:39 +0000 UTC View PostThe house had changed.
Blorbo was sure of it.
It wasn’t anything obvious. There was no walls knocked down, no new furniture, no decorations on the wall. But the subtle shift in the air was undeniable.
The old man had been redecorating.
The wooden shelves that once held L...
2025-02-25 01:34:06 +0000 UTC View PostThe morning sun spilled lazily across the market square. It didn’t seem to ever rain in the Township of Iakesi, almost as if the town was set in a book and the author of said book just recycled scenery descriptions because he was too lazy to invent weather fluctuations.
“I heard Marza s...
2025-02-25 00:37:07 +0000 UTC View PostLena’s mouth hung open even wider. “A-archmage? That’s like mage, but arch right?”
This woman has absolutely NO knowledge about magery, and wants to become a mage?
“Archmage is a mage of the highest order, Lena,” Rob said, deadpan.
“Wow!”
Anders’...
2025-02-24 22:39:12 +0000 UTC View PostLena alternated between sniffing and outright bawling for the next minutes, even after Rob had helped her sit on the chair, pulled the table close and placed the wonderfully-smelling chicken soup in front of her. Blorbo couldn’t quite shake the discomfort that had been gnawing at him since the ...
2025-02-24 12:46:03 +0000 UTC View PostGlitter glided around in the air like some kind of twisted confetti storm.
“A Piñata Mage is no laughing matter.” Anders’ voice was grave as he spat out an orange particle of glitter. “The magic behind such power is volatile. You think it’s just a little party favor, don’t you?...
2025-02-24 11:08:42 +0000 UTC View PostLena was setting the table for dinner, humming the same silly tune to herself as she placed down bowls and plates. At last, she noticed the wand.
“What’s this?” She picked up the tiny, absurdly small magic stick and twirled it between her fingers. “Oh, right. Almost lost you again....
2025-02-24 08:45:57 +0000 UTC View Post