42.
"How do you feel?"
"I feel good. I feel concentrated. I feel like I'm driving safely."
The fact that I didn't want to chat while driving was a minor source of friction in my relationship with Emma. Not that we'd driven together all that much. She made an exaggerated show of ...
2023-04-02 10:31:25 +0000 UTC View Post41.
Revenge Fantasy Minus 8 Days
Henri: Are you still on the bus from Gloucester?
Me: Yeah. Still like 3 hours left. Did everyone you invited turn up?
Henri: Yes! And more! And early! Chester's match was snowed off. Yours is one of...
2023-03-29 13:10:23 +0000 UTC View PostFootball glossary: Play on. Continue the game! Your player was kicked, but you have the ball in an advantageous position. So play on!
***
Saturday, 10th December
The first team gathered at Eastbourne and stayed indoors for as long as possible while our kit and...
2023-03-27 10:12:15 +0000 UTC View PostDear Patrons. As you know, I also write operettas. This one is called Ted Sings to His Readers:
- Would you like a double chapter?
- No we deserve much more!
- Would you like a triple chapter?
- No we’ve seen that length before!
- Would you like a quadrupl...
2023-03-24 10:38:22 +0000 UTC View PostHey! Do you like AI generated fan art? No? Well, close your eyes and scroll down about 4 inches.
Thanks to OneAutumnLeaf in the Discord chats!
38.
It started with Emma...
2023-03-22 09:44:56 +0000 UTC View PostQuick note - I'm sure you sometimes think 'this story is top but the footy bits are slightly unrealistic'. Not so! Remember Darlo vs Kettering? So many red cards? Check out last night's Man United vs Fulh...
2023-03-20 09:34:27 +0000 UTC View Post36.
I flopped against the back cushion and felt something cold and wet press against my back. For a second, I worried I'd spilled something on Henri's nice sofa, but it was just my sweat spreading around my lower back. "Quick shower," I said, and tried to bound up the stairs. I w...
2023-03-17 10:16:42 +0000 UTC View PostDouble chapter, almost a treble! This chapter is best served with a small bag of Cadbury's Mini Eggs and a big bag of red wine.
35.
We still had a bit of time before Holland vs USA, and I had a moment of inspiration. We put the shopping in the...
2023-03-15 10:08:52 +0000 UTC View Post34.
By Saturday morning I had turned into a human brick. A few times, I woke up and wanted a sausage butty or to pee but simply couldn't move. My legs were eight times their normal weight. Henri's bedroom had different gravity. I assumed I'd spend the rest of my life there, crushed under th...
2023-03-13 11:09:23 +0000 UTC View PostHi all!
Quick unexpected bonus content.
In the Discord chats, one Club Legend told us he was inspired by Player Manager to get back on the pitch after a long break. He found a Friday night game and wrote his experience up as a story which you can now read! If you...
2023-03-12 11:56:47 +0000 UTC View Post33.
We got into position for the second half. The crowd had visibly diminished. I hoped they were inside somewhere, buying beers, and hadn't fucked off home.
"Best!" Caveman was yelling at me.
I spread my arms. What?
"That's not the plan!"
Instead of being i...
2023-03-10 11:10:53 +0000 UTC View Post32.
Friday 2 December
On Friday morning we did a light training session, just loosening up and going through the match plans one last time.
I ate in the canteen and really had a lot of questions about it. The food was the same as the day before, even though we had a match schedu...
2023-03-08 11:00:49 +0000 UTC View Post31.
Sunday felt like climbing out of a hole. First, I got a lunchtime text from Emma. Just a light kind of 'checking in' message. I responded in kind. I guessed that Gemma had told Emma what she'd seen, and that while I was bonkers, I wasn't bonking women left, right, and centre....
2023-03-07 10:26:26 +0000 UTC View Post30.
I paused as Henri opened a car door for me. "Enchanté," I said.
"I'm opening the door for Gemma. You get in the front."
"Why?"
"Because you're a professional footballer and we're going to be driving for two hours."
I didn't really understand ...
2023-03-06 10:19:05 +0000 UTC View Post29.
The coach pulled over. The rest of the first team craned their necks in baffled amazement as I stepped off and got cozy at a random bus stop on Princess Parkway. I felt a bit odd wearing my Darlo hoodie and clutching my Darlo kit bag not all that far from my house in Moss Side. From the...
2023-03-03 11:24:48 +0000 UTC View Post28.
"Well played, Webby, lad," Cutter called out, and gave the guy a pat on the back as he left the pitch.
That was my answer, then. Cutter needed me more than I needed him.
I strolled over to the far side of the pitch and waited for someone to pass to me.
*** 2023-03-01 10:09:50 +0000 UTC View Post
27.
Henri's bed was so incredibly comfortable and I was so terribly fatigued that I overslept. I jumped out of bed and zoomed to training. To save three seconds, I even left my kit bag on the dressing room bench for the first time since Captain Caveman's Wet Welcome.
Fortunately, Henr...
2023-02-27 10:09:33 +0000 UTC View Post26.
While I was touching a couple of fingers to my neck to see how fast my pulse was going, a couple of young women approached our table. White, thin, fake tan, high-waisted jeans, big hoopy earrings. One's neck was bare, the other wore two different necklaces. Now that I was spe...
2023-02-24 09:31:04 +0000 UTC View Post25.
I read through the perk - twice - then looked at James. "Would you like to help me with a project?"
"Oh. Yes. Probably. What is it?"
"Two things. One. You're a big movie buff and you like Bible stuff. I've often thought of writing a screenplay. Maybe one where the...
2023-02-22 09:57:33 +0000 UTC View Post24.
So much of football is about timing.
Egypt are due to play in the first World Cup, but miss their connecting ship to Uruguay. If only they'd arrived, they might have won, and people might have taken African football more seriously in the subsequent hundred years.
...
2023-02-20 10:23:03 +0000 UTC View Post[Triple. Chapter. Triple chapter. Again!]
23.
I knocked on the door of a shitty terraced house in north Manchester. If you don't know what a terraced house is, don't imagine a place with 2,000 football fans living on the side - it's not that kind of terrace. I thin...
2023-02-15 10:08:47 +0000 UTC View Post22.
Alfy took the kick off and had a little go at us. Trying to get a quick equaliser. I shuffled and slid and kept the shape. I even sprinted to help Colin, the prick, out of a jam.
All the while, I thought about my ideal next steps. The absolute dream would probably be fo...
2023-02-13 11:57:21 +0000 UTC View Post[Triple length chapter! Grab TWO coffees!]
21.
Guys slapped each other as I walked through the changing room. Get a load of this!
Dudes got out of my way as I slammed open the doors to the outside world. Oh my God, what happened to him?
<... 2023-02-10 12:03:09 +0000 UTC View Post20.
Dirt. Dirt and decay. Dirt, decay, and debris.
Sweat. Stale sweat, the stink of sweat, dried sweat, sweaty beanbags, discarded sweaters, bags of socks both sweaty and discarded.
Boys. Teenage boys, teenage men. Belch, burp, hack, spit, cough, fart, drip, drool, scratch, repe...
2023-02-08 15:57:32 +0000 UTC View PostI don't listen to many audiobooks myself because I fall asleep, wake up to hear who the killer is, then go back to chapter 2 and find the whole thing is ruined.
But 50% of the comments I see on Facebook LitRPG groups and Reddit are 'that book sounds cool but is there an audio version?'
<... 2023-02-07 12:59:08 +0000 UTC View Post19.
Wednesday, 16th November
I was first onto the training pitch again, getting my day off to a good start by smacking free kicks at goal. 5 right foot, collect the balls, have a think. 5 left foot, collect, think. It was a good rhythm. I could have taken a whole bag of bal...
2023-02-06 11:27:25 +0000 UTC View Post18.
I had a hearty lunch in the staff canteen - apparently it was the done thing to load up on carbs the day before a match. The goalies were great company but were puzzled that I had chosen not to take a shower after the session. They kept ribbing me about it until I announced t...
2023-02-03 12:36:28 +0000 UTC View Post17.
I demanded the minivan keys from a very, very reluctant Pat.
"I'll drive you, lad. Where are you off ta?"
"Please hand over the keys, Pat."
"You're not insured!"
"The keys if you please." He dropped them into my palm. "My boots and shinpads are in the ...
2023-02-01 10:50:17 +0000 UTC View Post16.
Football glossary: Digs. Digs are cheap, shared accommodation owned or run by a football club for use by their junior players.
***
At around 6, Henri kicked us out. That is to say, he kicked me out, and then he kicked Emma out. I waited for him to do the same to G...
2023-01-30 10:56:38 +0000 UTC View Post15.
There was a minor logistics issue. Because I'd walked to the restaurant and Henri had arrived in his impractical two-seated Lotus Seven, he would have to drive me to my car, and then I'd go back to the restaurant and drive the ladies to the stadium. Henri, of course, wanted t...
2023-01-27 10:24:27 +0000 UTC View Post