Humpaford the Duck, by Chris Onstad, age 10. Birthday Card on Piece of Paper, 8.5"x11".
My father unearthed this little "piece of history" last Thursday while going through a box of things my beloved Grandma Marva had saved.
Perhaps the earliest c...
2023-08-27 17:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Of men who will dance under warm spring sun in freshly-knotted crowns of yarrow, this story contains none.
2023-08-26 17:00:04 +0000 UTC View PostThe above video shows just one of the dozens of new designs I've created for embroidering upon the upcoming apparel line.
Several months ago Achewood invested in a 12-needle digitally-driven embroidery machine that is roughly the size and weight of the front third of a horse. We wa...
2023-08-26 00:30:54 +0000 UTC View Post
In which two men of decreasingly clear friendship hastily decide to accompany one another on a journey that may reach beyond the comforts of reason. Or will a starving and cash-strapped Ray simply strangle a trebly-conflicted Pat in the parking lot at Chick-fil-A? You know it could go either way....
2023-08-25 17:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
"Taken May 2010; unknown source"
(I unearthed this specimen, which I believe has not appeared anywhere, while looking for some artwork of Nice Pete for the August 18, 2023 strip, #0016, in which Nice Pete and Téodor discuss the coffee trade.)
2023-08-24 17:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
If you would like further glimpses into the untidy mayhem of my comic workspace, please let me know in the comments, or just hit this with "likes." Sometimes the marginalia of leftovers and unintended juxtapositions create their own pleasant little interpretable situation.
(And ...
2023-08-21 17:01:01 +0000 UTC View Post
What is it like to encounter Known Author Peter H. "Nice Pete" Cropes out in the high Sierra backcountry? Well, you had better not try to sell him any cricket shrimp, if you know what's good for you.
2023-08-19 17:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
Téodor, experimenting with risotto in a low-sided paellera, is interrupted by Peter H. Cropes, who is not sure how he should feel about a piece of packaging he encountered.
In the end, Mr. Cropes' cryptic phone call to an unseen colleague suggests that his off-screen machina...
2023-08-18 17:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
This long-forgotten and tense piece by Ray describes the time he had to rely on Beef to play basketball with, as all his actual athletic friends were out of town. (Completists will reflect and agree that Leo Fontanette, though possessed of fantastic thighs, would have been shit at basketball due ...
2023-08-12 17:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
When cats consider cosmetic augmentation, they do not worry themselves with the bits and tips that matter so dearly to you and me. Chief among their notions of vanity are ears with a gently-rounded crest; too pointy, and one is said to be, "putting on the goblin." (Cats have goblins too.) For all...
2023-08-11 17:00:08 +0000 UTC View Post
Beef is nowhere near getting done documenting the crew's personal visions of heaven, but he thinks he is going to take a breather on this subject for a few and switch to the topics of grut-buggin' (aka "learning to repair his own damn wore-up pant-knees on the sewing machine," wi...
2023-08-10 17:01:00 +0000 UTC View Post
I recently came across this fourteen-year-old artboard from March of 2009, and I can't find it anywhere in the published archive or via the dialogue search service, so I suspect it was considered "not good enough" and subsequently lost to the sands of time. Today, in 2023, I actually consider it ...
2023-08-09 17:17:56 +0000 UTC View Post
[Vintage newsreel voice] Trips to the gymnasium typically provide ample jumping off-points for a variety of psychological airings-out; pair that with the increasingly hen-bitten disposition of the everyday citizen and you will come to understand why participation in public exercise is on the decl...
2023-08-04 17:00:03 +0000 UTC View Post
When the exalted Scottish poet Robbie Burns lamented man’s inhumanity to man, he may have been referring to the tourist attractions in the Wisconsin Dells. Between the towering walls of souvenir t-shirts which celebrate a lazy, hostile, and deeply tacky brand of selfishness, to duck boat tours ...
2023-07-30 15:23:52 +0000 UTC View Post
Yesterday in the Wisconsin Dells, we went to Noah's Ark, which — given the preponderance of large white vans with "TRUMP*PENCE" and "MAKE THE MASS LATIN AGAIN"* bumper stickers lurking about the parking lot — a man might be forgiven for assuming was one of those large-scale, religion-style re...
2023-07-28 17:30:01 +0000 UTC View Post
Decoder key: Exercise fads; UFC + bogus philosophy + targeted ads; endurance bores; bitcoin nonsense; Alex Jones.
It occurred to me recently how much podcasts have in common with the AM radio of my grandfather’s carport, eternally nattering and fizzing on with a slow baseball game o...
2023-07-28 17:00:04 +0000 UTC View Post
The second in a series where Roast Beef tries to get his pals to describe their ideas of utopia and heaven. After last time's interview with Nice Pete, he gives himself softball with Ray.
2023-07-27 16:59:02 +0000 UTC View Post
The above photos document a fairly atypical example of my process, equipment, and environment — but they make me look as though my technologically au courant ass* has gone all jet set, so for now, until that is all finally true, they shall represent me.
(The photos we...
2023-07-26 16:59:01 +0000 UTC View Post
A specific subset of Lauren's family practices a specific subset of Buddhism called Shambhala. I couldn't tell you how Shambhala differs from whatever Siddhartha was doing under the tree that one time, but this difference seems to allow them to run a delightful little cosmos of m...
2023-07-25 00:23:30 +0000 UTC View Post
Today we are taking good old Fuck You out for a spin to see how it's running. It had been a while, but it turned over on the first crank and buzzed off down the road like a bee! Singular of purpose and possessed of undiminished wrath.
2023-07-21 17:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Téodor’s Afternoon Min-It
or
Catastrophe Averted by Dude
Cooked and Documented by Téodor Orezscu
The compressor for the walk-in at the Dude and Catastrophe went on the fritz on the hottest day of the year, so Corneliu...
2023-07-17 01:22:39 +0000 UTC View Post
A special installment just for the hardest of hard-cores, the Mega Chochachos of the Author's Tier! The elite of the cream of the ermine-trimmed among us. Thank you, sincerely, for your support at this level — it inspires me to get "a little loose" with my creative endeavo...
2023-07-14 17:30:01 +0000 UTC View Post
The bitch in question is Captain Cragen, of course.
This strip brings up a timely subject. I am indeed gently lampooning the concept of artificial intelligence here, which reminds me of how much I have been enjoying writing the new content organically, as promised — much too much to even ...
2023-07-14 17:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Have you been flummoxed that Lyle displayed emotion eyes recently, despite over twenty years of never doing that? In this candid and unprecedented interview, Lyle bares all! It turns out he has had some major personal breakthroughs, but not on purpose, and not with the kind of therapist who can b...
2023-07-13 19:01:14 +0000 UTC View Post
In this groundbreaking treatise on reclaiming philosophy for people like you and me, we talk with a yippy and amoral Pomeranian, illustrate the ways in which Foucault would have been a lousy Thanksgiving guest, and, finally, conjecture at the truth about whether Nietzsche ever shit in the woods.&...
2023-07-12 16:59:57 +0000 UTC View Post
Want some of my most carefully-tested, all-new recipe content up in here? Well, it’s coming all the same, so too bad and put that finger away.
Now that it’s warm enough to run my cheap-assed backyard electric smoker box, I’m dialing in my custom-ground rib rub, sauce, and technique. ...
2023-07-08 21:26:09 +0000 UTC View Post
Next week's recipe is...chicken! (And remember: click to enlarge and see the crisp, full-resolution image.)
2023-07-07 17:00:09 +0000 UTC View Post
This was in the old Acheworld/Assetbar folder with the date of April 28, 2009. So, I don't know why it has the date of 2005. Maybe you do. (Maybe you do?) Anyhow, there used to be a running "joke" where I'd say I would post a recipe about chicken, but then I wouldn't, and people would pretend to ...
2023-07-06 17:00:07 +0000 UTC View Post
Even Ray gets into the short, subversive piece game once in a while. This usually happens when he himself is honked on 80-brown (so don't go throwing bottles in glass houses, Mr. Smuckles). The origin of this piece was probably Cornelius leaving a copy of Ulysses in the living room, at w...
2023-07-05 17:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post
Roast Beef isn't the only one who enjoys a bit of subversive experimental publishing. Mr. Orezscu has compiled a number of short bits over the years — some scathing, others light in spirit and low in impact. Enjoy this piece from 2010, well before the Pope invented Covid.
2023-07-04 17:00:05 +0000 UTC View Post