It takes a second or so to reel from the realization that I won’t actually have to kill him, at which point I hastily blurt out, “I need you to agree to join the Evil Claw pirates.”
“To join the—” Turning back to me, he stares me right in the face, waiting for me to drop the act...
2023-12-17 15:26:10 +0000 UTC View PostI carry Vann over to our ship, avoiding the uncertain looks from the younger members of the crew. I’m sure I could explain it away by saying that humans have a biological craving for goblin meat or something, but I don’t want to taint their impressionable brains too much, so I simply tell the...
2023-12-17 15:22:55 +0000 UTC View PostHe grumbles something at me about this being terribly unfair before making the two hostages follow us up back onto deck. Going by smell, I can tell that everyone is gathered all nice and tidy in the common area. Perfect.
Without any hesitation, I head there, Nazzo following behind me, only ...
2023-12-17 15:18:18 +0000 UTC View PostWith an unwilling but submitted Nazzo on top of my shoulder, I head down into the hull. I would’ve been more wary of a possible ambush if I hadn’t been able to smell exactly what was going on down there. Going by the scents of metal and weapons, I was dealing with seven guards, two civilians,...
2023-12-12 16:55:08 +0000 UTC View PostDays turn into weeks. I have it good.
For one, I get to experience my first real pillaging. It was exciting. Suddenly everyone was so serious, being fully aware that any of us could die. People seemed to know their roles, but few felt truly comfortable in them. A general rule of thumb was t...
2023-12-12 16:51:32 +0000 UTC View PostMy eyes slowly move over the message.
…I’m on the twenty-second floor now, huh? That explains what the god of cruelty was on about. This.
A warm hand rubs my shoulder and I look to see Scar, still looking at me, his fatherly worry shining through an appropriately scarred ...
2023-12-12 16:46:37 +0000 UTC View PostThe rest of the day passed quietly. We had lunch, and I enjoyed some goblin cuisine for the first time in a while. I tried to tell Coda how I didn’t need to eat, but he forced food onto me, so I really didn’t have any choice. The eel stew was good, though, and when I tried to give compliments...
2023-12-08 21:04:25 +0000 UTC View Post“Kitty’s awake and fully healed!” Coda exclaims loudly to the gathered crew members. Now that I’m counting them, there are actually only nine of them. Can you really have an entire ship with only ten people to operate it? Is that even possible? Either way, the average level is nineteen, w...
2023-12-08 20:59:38 +0000 UTC View PostI jolt awake, lungs burning from the fact that I’m miraculously alive. I do a quick inventory check—conscious: yep. Arms: still there: Legs, back. Ribs: in their places. All five senses: up and running.
I’m alive. I think. To ensure that I’m fully operational, I engage all five sens...
2023-12-08 20:54:41 +0000 UTC View Post
Totally unrelated to anything that may or may not be going on, yup yup yup
2023-11-23 15:43:53 +0000 UTC View Post
I be out here drawin. Will try to get back into writing soon. Unfortunately I got ADD and Autism and my brain randomly decided it was time to spend all hours of the day researching the french revolution. Send help. If anyone is interested in doing a Misery, I’m in (as long as there’s no bodil...
2023-11-18 08:42:04 +0000 UTC View PostI come to, already standing in the lobby. H—how long have I been here?
<Top—Status—Community>
<00:03:32
Day 550>
<The nineteenth attempt will begin in
20:23:56:28>
<The twenty-first floor will open in
23:56:28>
…Not v...
2023-10-17 17:23:38 +0000 UTC View Post…What the heck just happened?
<You have cleared the twentieth floor.>
<You have received 1 000
points for clearing the floor.
You have received an additional
1 000 points for being the first to clear
the floor.>
<For clearing the stage co...
2023-09-27 08:56:35 +0000 UTC View PostI almost throw the thing away. It’s weird. It’s wrong. Don’t ask me for that. I can’t save you—I can’t save anyone. Please stop expecting things from me that I can’t give you.
But I can’t bring myself to drop him. I can’t even bring myself to behead him like I was...
2023-09-27 08:54:04 +0000 UTC View PostThe world shifts harshly and the ground beneath my feet sways, catching me just before I can tumble ass-over-kettle. As soon as I’m able to stand upright again, the smell of ash and cinders hits me like a truck.
Squinting, I take a look around me. This place… has probably seen better da...
2023-09-27 08:51:06 +0000 UTC View PostAnd just like that, I’m back in the lobby. Paint, paint, paint...
Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. Since your magic is dumb and useless, I have no need for it, and will therefore be—
<The Goddess of Children
pleads for the assistance of
...
2023-09-27 08:48:21 +0000 UTC View PostI arrive in the lobby. WHITE, WHITE, WHITE. The standard, that is.
<To repay your debt,
your inventory has been sold
for 32 points.>
<Current debt:
166 001 points.>
Considering what it should have sold, that feels like a strangely small amount.
<... 2023-09-24 14:05:58 +0000 UTC View Post“Hey Kitty!”
I jerk out of a state I hope was meditation. Who—huh? Oh! Standing up, I wave at Moleman as he approaches on his simple bike. “What took you so long, man? I thought I was going to fall asleep!”
Stopping a pace or two away, Moleman folds out the bike’s leg to p...
2023-09-21 15:13:26 +0000 UTC View PostDespite not understanding a word he said, his declaration does nothing but feed the fire of her excitement.
Realizing her arrows were useless, she pulls her sword from her sheath and dashes at him, ready to close the distance and end the fight quickly. Not that Moleman lets her.
He ma...
2023-09-21 15:11:14 +0000 UTC View PostI wake up by way of instantly entering a sitting position, almost throwing my covers clear off, my face flashing back and forth, memories of arrows and guns and roses crashing and tumbling through my mind like elephants on skates. Who—what—where—
Someone grabs my shoulder. “Hey, Kit...
2023-09-21 15:09:11 +0000 UTC View PostShe’s breathing heavily and smiling, holding her bow in one hand with her other hand resting on the hilt of her short sword. I’m also breathing heavily, though I’m not really in any place to use my right arm right. I should have recognized what she was doing earlier, focusing all her effort...
2023-09-19 15:53:03 +0000 UTC View PostHer spurs jingle with each step, her face shadowed by the brim of her hat, yet still clearly grinning. Casual. Her posture is full of holes and openings, so many places I could attack from, but at the mental image of myself sinking my claws into her stomach, the vision of her planting an arrow st...
2023-09-19 15:49:31 +0000 UTC View Post“Another bloodless victory! Has Kitty turned over a new leaf, or is he saving his claws for the big finale? Let’s find out! Everyone, please welcome the Hard Difficulty floor thirty-six—Wait, hang on…” Pain abruptly pauses, turning away from the audience. While He’s n...
2023-09-17 17:24:42 +0000 UTC View Post“With that done, let’s all welcome our next challenger to the stage! Give a big hand to AccordingToAccordion of the twenty-eighth floor, who despite his diminutive size, weighs in at a level of seventy, and is still somehow taller than Kitty!”
That one went over well....
2023-09-17 17:22:24 +0000 UTC View Post“So, when’s the next one? I’m in great shape, I could take anyone on right now!”
Moleman rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling. Proudly. “You took a sword to the stomach. How the heck are you in great shape?”
I pout at him. “Don’t underestimate ...
2023-09-17 17:19:10 +0000 UTC View Post“Kitty, hey, Kitty, wake up…” Someone’s gently shaking my shoulders, but I’m pretty content just lying here, meditating, not really thinking about much of anything… “Kitty, come on, wake up!” There’s a gentle slap against my cheek, but that’s okay. I’m fine right where I am...
2023-09-17 17:16:14 +0000 UTC View PostHeyo! Remember how I tried and failed to raise the prices a week or two back and I made myself look like the buffoon I truly am? Well, thanks to the suggestion helpfully sent to me by Llac, I now know how to do this!
Those still in the first tier will remain in that tier, in that price, for...
2023-09-15 09:39:54 +0000 UTC View PostA few hours later, Moleman and his party take the stage for their skirmish. Since they’re alone on floor 66, it’s only them. They could’ve just decided on a winner beforehand, but no. Apparently, they’ve got too much respect for each other, so they decide to waste everyone’s time by hav...
2023-09-02 10:29:41 +0000 UTC View Post“—But you understand why I had to do it, right?”
“...Of course,” Moleman says, head in his hands, back hunched.
“I didn’t mean it,” I lie. “I was just making things up to—you know. Seem horrible. More than I really am, that is. But I didn’t mean it. If I went bac...
2023-09-02 10:06:13 +0000 UTC View Post