Q&A Submissions!
Added 2024-05-10 14:00:13 +0000 UTCPhoto of little me (& Baby Born) for attention!
As well as an autistic advice video, I want to do a more general Q&A soon. Feel free to submit questions down below, direct message me, or send them to advice@imautisticnowwhat.com
Ask me anything!! šš
And thank you so much for all of the lovely feedback on the Orion Kelly video! It was so fun to make, so I'm really glad you liked it š„°
Comments
if you watch her youtube videos, she includes snippets all the time.
Isabelle
2024-08-12 14:26:29 +0000 UTCā¦ my son is 2 and I have made recordings of him for when he will be assessed. These show him not responding to his name, avoiding eye contact, flapping his hands, spinning, walking around in his own little world, all signs he could / most likely is autistic. If similar footage exists of you then this could be a sign of your autism
Chris Knight
2024-06-29 23:33:46 +0000 UTCIs there video footage recordings your parents made of you when you were very young? This could give you an idea if you have autistic traits when you were very young. I will be
Chris Knight
2024-06-29 23:28:31 +0000 UTCI have taken so many online tests that have all told me that I am VERY much autistic and adhd as well as probably PDA and monotropic. I have done months of research, reading books by autistic authors, watching every video I could possibly find, and listening to every podcast that I could access for free. I have made multiple lists: one of just my memories and one where I sorted those into the DSM-5 criteria. So I am pretty confident logically that I am audhd. The problem is I do not remember much of my childhood so my imposter syndrome is killing me.
Mika
2024-06-21 05:01:31 +0000 UTCI am 18 and do not have the money to buy my own diagnosis/therapy but I really need to because I am starting university and need a formal diagnosis for much needed accommodations. My parents have shut me down when I asked about possibly getting an adhd test before and I am terrified of asking again (for both adhd and autism this time). They for sure have outdated stereotypes. I know this probably isnāt the best place to ask for advice but what do I do? How do I tell them/approach them about this?
Mika
2024-06-21 04:55:38 +0000 UTCoh and audiobook recommended for another lovely Australian accent
Reji Rej
2024-06-17 21:00:20 +0000 UTCWould be a cool to hear your thoughts
Reji Rej
2024-06-17 20:57:57 +0000 UTCEarly in my diagnosis processing I absolutely loved Hannah Gatsby's book - she's an autistic comedian who got some negative responses for being "preachy"- but her anger was exceptionally healing in that it allowed me to approach mine <3
Reji Rej
2024-06-17 20:57:07 +0000 UTCCan't believe I let it go this long but I still don't seem to be able to get on. I'm thinking I'm clearly not understanding something.
Erik Johnson
2024-06-17 02:57:12 +0000 UTCI see! I think this friend aligns with the last section of my comment. They kind of sound like a habitual liar. I understand your concern and frustration and in regards to said friend, I believe your thoughts and feelings are on target. Was I projecting? I have a tendency to use my own experiences to explain what I mean. It makes sense in my head to tell stories to provide perspective. Iām sorry. I meant to be helpful and encouraging! Thank you for your tactful response. I wish you well with your friend.
Cinder_Royale
2024-06-13 16:33:36 +0000 UTCAlso, I would share information, advice and content, but funnily enough, they arenāt asking for it, because they donāt CARE. They care about the label, the quick fix of their discovery journey. Itās autism, Iām excused. Soon enough they will move on to the next thing, when they might realise that being actually autistic, comes with a whole set of struggles, drawbacks and broken relationships. Not being quirky and a loner. Iām tired of autism be a step on the way for chronically online people.
Kat
2024-06-10 09:13:53 +0000 UTCI couldnāt disagree more. Self diagnosing off of Tiktok is a harmful and uneducated thing to do. And this is coming from someone who only got inspired to get their diagnoses because of Tiktok. There seems to be a disconnect in what I am trying to convey. You are right, silly little videos about being quirky might be the first step to discover your true self. HOWEVER !!!!!!!! Relating to those videos is NOT EVEN CLOSE to warranting a self diagnosis. Existential research is. Talking to people (maybe professionals) is. Talking to people you KNOW are autistic is. When I SUSPECTED I was autistic, I sure as hell didnāt run around and told everyone. Because I didnāt have enough knowledge to claim such a pervasive, all encompassing label with a very pronounced community. I would have thought of that as the pinnacle of disrespect. To them, to myself, to the friends around me who try to understand me. Iāve gone through many suspected self diagnosis. Once or twice, when I thought I was really close, I trusted these thoughts to a friend who WAS, say, bipolar, or had experience with it. I DIDNāT tell them I self diagnose as it. I told them, I am genuinely wondering if it might be this, do you have thoughts on it or can you point me to where I could find out more? Had I told everyone about the diagnosis I suspected in me over the years, by now, nobody would take neither me nor my thoughts seriously anymore. I am in a full on war about this laisser-faire attitude people apply to psychiatric conditions. NO, itās not a part of your journey to self diagnose when you relate to kids on the internet. Itās part of your journey to get educated on what you relate to. Itās not part of your journey to tell everyone who will listen about whatever you think it is today. Itās part of your journey to dismantle your own thoughts, confront your confirmation bias and be critical of yourself. Yes, itās part of the journey, even as an autistic person. Iām genuinely tired of people thinking this comment is about them. I can only respectfully recommend to stop projecting your story onto other people. Itās yours, not theirs. In my comment, I am solely talking about people who claim they are autistic but ARENāT. Friends who claim autism but havenāt reached out to me, a diagnosed autistic, to ask any questions, who havenāt read any research, only watched Tiktoks, who havenāt confronted the fact that there are many different diagnosis out there that would apply to them, that at the end of the day, only a professional could 100% dismantle. Why does this community think they can differentiate hundreds of psychiatric conditions, when it is so clear that the internet is giving us confirmation bias? Sorry, I know this is coming off strong and I donāt mean it personal, but itās absolutely grinding my gears to be told I should give people who self diagnose after two minutes (NOT people who SUSPECT and are discovering it), the benefit of the doubt. Self diagnosing without research is a quick fix to not take responsibility for your own life.
Kat
2024-06-10 09:07:08 +0000 UTCInvestigating how religious groups view autism may be a bit too controversial for public viewing, but I would really love to have this discussion too. Like maybe only here or something? In my church, people still believe vaccines cause it, diet or essential oils can cure it, people grow out of it when they get older, and Iāve even had to intervene for a kid having a melt down because people gathered around him trying to perform an exorcism. Shouting and holding him down. They stopped thankfully and allowed me and his mom to take him to a quiet dark room to let him get regulated. These are really scary and damaging ideas.
Cinder_Royale
2024-06-09 20:50:00 +0000 UTCI think the people who are self-diagnosing via shorts and Tik-Toks should be respected and given the benefit of the doubt and encouraged to investigate further! That is often the first step in the journey of a late diagnosed autistic person. They may be heavily masking and if they seem fake, itās understandable because masking IS fake. I am self-diagnosed as of this year. (age 45) But I have a related story about faking things. In this case it was called ābeing weird or quirky.āHere goesā¦ when I decided to be myself in high school, all the people who called me āweirdā in middle school treated me like I was ātrying too hard to be coolā or a āposerā because by the time I gained the confidence to say f*ck it and be myself, weird WAS cool. It was a trend people picked up from Reality Bites, Mall Rats and Singles type movies. Quirky was cool, weird was cool. These were so relatable to me that I felt free to behave me openly and be less shy and closed off. People didnāt like it. It was what people would now call ācringy.ā I was angry at the injustice of it all. So I would say if these people are truly close friends, have some chats with them, share content, that may help them look inside and evaluate themselves and discover they arenāt in fact autistic or uncover their real selves! We all need acceptance. Itās okay to validate someoneās path to discovering their identity! However, also from life experiences there are people who ARE fakers. Like habitually lying. If you actually catch them in lies all the time and are trying to lie about it, are they really worth your friendship?
Cinder_Royale
2024-06-09 20:41:14 +0000 UTCDo you personally feel having a routine makes life easier for you, or does having daily tasks feel like a demand to be avoided?
Andrew Enneking
2024-06-09 20:35:42 +0000 UTCI also want new ideas for items I can buy. I have pop-its and stim-mags and I hate sticky squishy things. I need more ideas! Maybe quieter ones. Stim-mags came out with a quiet version but they are a bit expensive.
Cinder_Royale
2024-06-09 20:17:12 +0000 UTChow can i make people understand that i am not trying to be mean or rude and that i am just overwhelmed by certain situations and try to set my boundaries? i know this is connected with the double empathy problem, but i get really hurt when i get considered rude by my friends (i don't really care about how strangers perceive me or at least i am trying not to). for example: they wanted to talk to me in school and i didn't want to because of social exhaustion. and when i do tell them 'sorry, i can't talk right now' it is perceived as rude behaviour from their perspective. they are really understanding, but they can't help but sometimes feel hurt. thank you !! <3
laurinchen
2024-06-02 10:48:53 +0000 UTCYou have to open Patreon on a browser and go to settings to connect your discord
Ugne Jakucionyte
2024-05-28 23:58:26 +0000 UTCI got it now :)
Ugne Jakucionyte
2024-05-28 23:40:19 +0000 UTCAre you still struggling to get on? Here's a link explaining how to connect Patreon and Discord: https://support.patreon.com/hc/en-gb/articles/212052266-Getting-Discord-access If it doesn't help, please let me know! š
I'm Autistic, Now What
2024-05-28 22:23:57 +0000 UTCAre you still struggling to get on? Here's a link explaining how to connect Patreon and Discord: https://support.patreon.com/hc/en-gb/articles/212052266-Getting-Discord-access If it doesn't help, please let me know š
I'm Autistic, Now What
2024-05-28 22:23:38 +0000 UTCPlease someone send me a link to discord I've been trying over a month.
Erik Johnson
2024-05-28 15:44:13 +0000 UTCThis isnāt about the q and a but how do I join the discord?
Ugne Jakucionyte
2024-05-20 19:51:52 +0000 UTCProfessionally late diagnosed ADHD (43), self-diagnised au- (53). I have listened to hrs. & hrs. of professional and anecdotal commentary, been in and out of therapy, tried tips, hacks and watched content to better understand myself. One item I struggle with (and there are a few), is when we, in our community(ies), discuss the intolerance of those who doubt, dismiss, disavow and/or denounce our individual diagnosis, we, at the same time, mark our own functional intolerance(s) brought on by our neuro-biology. Whether it be sounds, smells, textures, or the individual/social idiosyncrasies of neuro-typicals (NT). I seldom hear conversations about tollerance of others, except in the abstract, who might also be ND. but not know it, are repressed, functionally reactionary due to undiagnosed/unrealized ND, and/or masking unawares. Our idiosyncratic interaction(s) with anyone might be a conscious or sub-concious trigger for them. So, my question, how do you differentiate difficult interactions with individuals without dehumanizing them with a label (Jerk, AH, mean NT) in a way that is synonymous with how many of us have been treated. Bonus question, could it be that ND is the standard, masking is a functional necessity of social cohesion, and some ppl just have more spoons to pull it off on a given day, that week, at that point in their life, or are the "if you have met one NT person, you have met one NT person?" How many of us have walked the requisite mile/1.609 km in their footwear (gross) to know what/why they are who they are in general or at that moment?
Ken Mc
2024-05-13 17:16:10 +0000 UTCAgreed. I found Meg's video about next steps and whether to pursue an official diagnosis. I think I'd like to edit my submission to lean more heavily toward discussing self diagnosis. All of the tests I've taken point very strongly to it, but I still feel unsure of if and when I can describe myself that way
Blake - N4BWR
2024-05-11 14:45:21 +0000 UTCAfrican or European swallow? With or without coconut sheels?
Hugin
2024-05-11 10:51:35 +0000 UTCReview of products marketed for the shiny new autism-market? Fidgets, anc-headphones, apps, wheighted blankets... Also how pets can be a lifeline for struggling kids and adults. Or are the pet another chore? (Yeah, I'm pro-cat and pro-animal.)
Hugin
2024-05-11 10:49:28 +0000 UTCMy question is very similar to this, but more specifically, My question for Meg : what is your opinion on self-diagnosis?
MelissaSpirit_13
2024-05-11 09:40:26 +0000 UTCI would love some advice on handling people using the term autism / self diagnosing extremely light heartedly. I really didnāt think it was true, that there was a sort of ātrendā happening of people adopting the term, I thought it was all experiences that needed validation and room to be expressed. However, Iāve recently come across several people in my life who self diagnosed as autistic without doing as much as reading the DSM-5, instead only going off of relatibility Tiktok contentā¦ And I donāt know how to say this but they clearly do not know what autism even really is and they probably donāt have itā¦ I am honestly disturbed and hurt. It skews the conversation in a direction I think might be unuseful or even harmful. If people who clearly donāt understand what it actually is go around telling and showing people thatās what it is, actually autistic folks will have an even harder time explaining what itās really like than they already do. I donāt know how to handle these people. And itās like close close friends. I donāt want to be insensitiveā¦ but I need them to stop being insensitive.
Kat
2024-05-10 22:22:12 +0000 UTCWhat accomodations would you recommend for those who are RRB-heavy autists?
Erkin Alp GĆ¼ney
2024-05-10 20:29:47 +0000 UTCAll of the tests I've done have indicated that it is very likely that I'm autistic, PDA, and apparently more Monotropic than 99% of autistic people (!!). Do I have to get an official diagnosis? What are the benefits? And at what point do you think it's fair for me to label myself that way if I don't get an official diagnosis? I think the last question is the one I'm most interested in having answered.
Blake - N4BWR
2024-05-10 16:55:21 +0000 UTCHow might we change to structures in churches to make them more safe and inviting for us as autistic people?
Elisa
2024-05-10 16:10:25 +0000 UTCFor those of us autistic people who self regulate with food and are impulsive with food, what might help us?
Elisa
2024-05-10 16:07:18 +0000 UTCIf you were in charge of designing PE, what would that look like in primary as well as secondary school for autistic students?
Elisa
2024-05-10 16:06:24 +0000 UTCWhat are helpful resources for teachers, parents, and therapists interacting with non-verbal autistic people?
Elisa
2024-05-10 16:05:46 +0000 UTCI donāt know thatāAAGHHHH
shapeofsoup
2024-05-10 15:27:48 +0000 UTCHey Meg, how different do you think your life would be if you wouldāve been diagnosed in early childhood? From seeing content from parents of autistic kids, Iām often glad I was diagnosed as an adult so I can decide the type of treatments, therapies, accommodations best suited to meā¦ instead of my narcissist very strict parent deciding/imposing on me š
Aurelie
2024-05-10 15:26:15 +0000 UTCWas that an African Swallow or a European Swallow?
Andrew Sutton
2024-05-10 15:02:01 +0000 UTCAny dating advice ? lol, Some day I want a partner (20) but, I've never really asked anyone I've been interested in lol. but, In the distant future I want to travel the states a lot so that might be hard for people too.
Reed
2024-05-10 14:53:31 +0000 UTCHey Meg! I was just wondering if you have any advice for dealing with meltdowns as a parent? I have a 10 month-old right now, and it can be very challenging at times to handle the combined overwhelm of being simultaneously overstimulted and hyper-empathetic to their crying. Having another parent makes all the difference, of course, but it's still hard.
its.just.X
2024-05-10 14:32:46 +0000 UTCIf you've had depression how did you (or do you) distinguish between depression and burnout? I know you've talked about your burnout before and I know burnout can lead to depression, but how do _you_ tell whether you're burned out or depressed? What are the key indicators for you of one vs. the other (per maybe you can direct me to a video you've already done on this)? Thank you so much!
MagnaCorpus
2024-05-10 14:28:42 +0000 UTCWhat is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
shapeofsoup
2024-05-10 14:17:00 +0000 UTCAnymore collabs with Claire on Woodshed Theory or your own channel? That was super cool seeing you guys together! Or any other collabs?
shapeofsoup
2024-05-10 14:16:05 +0000 UTCawww you were so cute! š„° How do you deal with having to āproveā or fight for people to believe youāre autistic? Constantly feeling like an imposter. What would you say makes Autism different to other disorders such as EUPD/BPD? Since it gets compared a lot. What would be some key differences to look out for? (not saying Autism is a disorder) I appreciate you & your videos, theyāve really helped me accept the fact i do have Autism & even though medical professionals have validated this, the work has to come from within. Thank you, keep doing amazing things ā¤ļø
ethan hall š¬š§
2024-05-10 14:12:47 +0000 UTC
