Chapter Ninety-Two: Daybreak Wharf

Hi everyone!

So sorry about that delay, this chapter felt like it took forever to finish. I hope you all enjoy!

— Alusion

Chapter Ninety-Two: Daybreak Wharf

“This way!” Akari yells in my mind, grabbing my hand to drag me behind the concrete wall of a building.

Together, we press our backs against the wall. Both of us are out of breath from running, and my heart races with excitement. The air tastes slightly of morning dew on my tongue as we hide. From the road we just vacated, voices float up through the glowing mist of the Dawn Cloud.

“I think they went this way?” says a man’s voice, making my throat tighten with nerves.

“They’re sentinels, Jeffery. I don’t know why you thought we could catch up to them,” a woman’s voice responds.

There’s a slight scuffing sound as the man kicks at the street. I can barely sense him through my connection to the Dawn Cloud.

“I know, I know,” he says, sounding put out. “They were probably busy.”

And with that, our pursuers turn to head the other direction down the street. Despite being able to sense them, we wait for Celeste’s confirmation that the coast is clear before moving out from behind our cover.

Looking around and seeing the mostly empty street, Akari and I look at one another and burst into a fit of giggles.

“You’re right!” I wheeze, smiling happily at my girlfriend, “This is more fun without using powers! I feel like a teenager sneaking out of the house!”

“We are teenagers,” Akari says with a matching smile, her eyes gleaming with mirth. Helping me dodge all my new fans from after my Naming Ceremony has become one of her favorite pastimes.

I do feel slightly bad for avoiding them, but after days of getting practically swarmed by people every time I step outside, I don’t feel that bad. From the way the GDF is pushing my new image, some of the people around me seem to see me as this larger-than-life figure, which just isn’t the case. I just want to be able to walk around and go shopping like any other girl. Although… I suppose I’m far from just any other girl now. I don’t know if I’m even still human.

My smile slips off my face, a cloud settling over me as my eyes fall to the scars on my arms. In the chaotic days just after gaining my point of power status, I didn’t notice the marks left behind by the Stygian Mana. They aren’t black any longer, just pale, broken lines left on my skin. A mark of what has been done to me that I should be able to heal… but for some reason can’t.

Concern flashes in Akari’s violet eyes, and she gives my hand a tug. “Come on, we’re almost there.”

I nod and allow her to guide me back out onto the road. Celeste alights on my shoulder with gentle feet as we walk, nuzzling against my neck with her soft cheek. I absently scratch her, trying to ignore the faint stinging pain I can feel under those scars. Like the scars, I can’t seem to sense anything wrong with my body there, but the pain still comes from time to time, nonetheless.

Closing my eyes, I breathe in the morning air. Once, it might have calmed me, and perhaps it still does. It doesn’t lighten the load on my heavy heart, however. Just something else to talk with Linda about tonight, I suppose.

Beside me, Akari keeps my hand in a gentle but constant hold. Almost as if she knows that her warm touch is all that’s anchoring me to this moment… grounding me in reality. My mind has always had a tendency to drift, especially while moving. Once upon a time, I’d walk the skyway and let the light exercise work away the cobwebs in my mind. Either that or spend a few hours drawing.

Any drifting that occurs now just brings my mind spiraling back into that dark abyss it so much likes to find. And trying to draw? The last time I tried was when I was still dying from Stygian Mana poisoning. My fingers shook so hard that the lines in my head were impossible to place upon the page. Despite being better now… I haven’t tried again. I just…

No! I shake my head and squeeze Akari’s hand. I’m doing it again!

I take a deep breath and proceed to run through one of Linda’s grounding rituals. I feel the soft warmth of Akari’s hand, smell the morning dew, feel the hard asphalt beneath my feet, and see the workers moving to look up at a new sign marking the entrance to the harbor. Daybreak Wharf… what?

I freeze, Akari stopping beside me as I stare up at the sign. “A-Akari… what is that?”

My girlfriend offers a light smile, “They renamed it, in honor of your achievements. It’s part of what I wanted to show you.”

“B-But…” I take a step back, “I… I don’t deserve this.”

And why is that? Linda’s words echo in my mind. Shouldn’t people be able to make their own choices about who they want to look up to?

I shake my head again, ponytail flicking behind me. Damn therapist, just a few days of sessions and she’s already in my head. Although I suppose that’s kind of the point.

Akari’s features turn sad, but she remains silent. I know she just wants to help. That’s the whole reason she helped me find Linda and begin having sessions. However… a part of me doesn’t want help. A part of me just wants to curl up in a little ball and let the world pass around me. Some mornings, only the knowledge that such an action would be an unforgivable waste of my abilities is the only thing that stops me from doing just that. Well, that and my girlfriend, who's always ready to go on adventures with me.

Except… not for much longer. My team has been stationed in the city for the last few days, helping out in skirmishes where the Volcora managed to get closer than anyone is comfortable with. If just one of those groups got into the slums… it would be a slaughter. However, it’s likely that they will be called back to the front soon, and… this time, Akari will be going with them.

It’s hard not to question my decision to remain behind, knowing that I’ll have to be regularly separated from my team. And yet, even if I didn’t decide to avoid fighting, I still wouldn’t get to go. My heavy involvement with the A Rank Council’s new initiative to revive as many sentinels as possible, as well as the simple fact that no blue sentinel is currently being risked in active combat, means that there is no way I’ll see fighting again anytime soon.

Despite this, I’m slightly less worried about my team than I otherwise might have been. Right now, I have a strong enough connection with each of them that I’m relatively confident in being able to revive them as long as their soul gems are recovered. More so, I’m worried about being left behind… again. If Akari is forced to deploy with the rest of our team, then… I don’t know… I just don’t know.

“You’re doing it again,” Akari says, and only now do I realize that we’ve nearly arrived at the waterfront. From the winding roots nearby — now doing their best not to destroy the roads — I can tell that we’re near Florina. Although, with how big she is now, all I really have to do is look up to tell how far from her I am.

I blink. “Sorry… you know how I can get.”

She grins, “Yes, I do. But we’re almost there, no dazing off now.”

“Are we going to see Florina?” I ask, trying to get some hint as to what Akari’s big surprise is.

Akari’s grin grows wider and a touch mischievous. “Nope! In fact, I think it’s about time for this!”

In a slash of violet light, Akari produces a thick strip of black fabric. A strip that I only realize is a blindfold when she darts behind me and wraps it around my face.

“A-Akari!” I squeak in outrage, trying and failing to see through the pitch blackness of the fabric.

“I told you! It’s a surprise!” she says, and I can practically see her bouncing with excitement. “Also, no using your mist to peak or having Celeste tell you, that’s cheating.”

I huff but push my fuzzy perception of my surroundings — and the entire city — to the back of my mind. It’s hard to shut out entirely, but I’ve gotten used to not paying it much attention. Honestly, trying to perceive anything specific through the Dawn Cloud is difficult at the best of times. To properly see around myself, I’d need to conjure fresh mist.

“Fine… only for you,” I mutter, feeling slightly vulnerable as Akari takes my arm in her hands and leads me forward. I think we’re still heading toward the waterfront.

“Don’t worry, it will be fun!”

For the next several minutes, Akari and I make our way through the morning air. We’re forced to walk rather slowly due to her need to guide me, and she is especially careful to help me over any roots in the road or step-ups. Around me, I hear some of the dock workers talking and laughing about my predicament. It all seems to be in good fun, though, and I find myself smiling softly along with them.

Despite the blindfold, I feel completely safe. With Akari beside me, I’m able to simply lean on my absolute trust in my girlfriend as I absently wonder what kind of surprise she’s cooked up.

After fifteen full minutes of leading me, Akari finally stops me in place. I’m thoroughly turned around by now from the many turns, but the waves lapping nearby are a fairly big hint.

“Okay…” Akari says, a slight edge of nerves in her voice. “We’re here.”

With gentle fingers, I feel her untie the blindfold, and the darkness falls away.

I blink rapidly, my eyes falling upon the large, squat four-story building before me with confusion. It looks sleek and new, but I can’t figure out why-

There is a sign above the door… written within a stylized glowing cloud. Daybreak Wharf Clinic.

“W-What… what is this?” I ask, my hands beginning to shake by my sides.

“This,” Akari says, taking one trembling hand and gently pulling open my fingers, “is yours.”

A key slides into my hand, cold metal slipping out from Akari’s inventory. My fingers close around it, and tears blur my vision.

“Akari… y-you didn’t,” I mutter, my breath catching in my throat.

Beside me, Akari shrugs. “You always said you wanted a clinic. Somewhere you can just help people. Now you have one.”

Tears run down my face in hot streaks, but contrasting my outward emotions… the cloud hanging over my heart lightens just a little.

“T-This is too much! Akari… this must have cost you a fortune!”

And… it’s more than that. I… am a killer now. I’ve taken the lives of not just Volcora, but human beings. Stars… the utter slaughter I committed after escaping that twisted doctor… How am I supposed to trust myself with something like this? How am I supposed to dedicate my life to healing after taking the lives of so many?

Well… I suppose I have to start somewhere.

“The A Rank Council helped a lot with funding,” Akari explains, her expression still hesitantly happy. “They intend to use this place as the base of operations for healing sentinels with unusual health conditions since you seem to be unusually good at that. Additionally, this will be where you can oversee the Sentinel Revival program, although all that is in the basement.”

Huh… I guess I figured that would be happening in the GDF Headquarters. But… I suppose everyone else will think the exact same thing. Still, that means this clinic will be under extremely heavy guard once it opens.

“The great thing about all this,” she continues, “is that healing difficult cases can act as trials. So, while it won’t be as fast, you can still grow as a sentinel without needing to go into combat. Isn’t that great!”

I swallow, looking up and down at the sleek glass of the clinic — large parts of it detailed with little swirling cloud designs. “A-Akari… Do you think I can still do this? Be… that person, again?”

Akari nods, wrapping calloused hands around mine. “You never stopped being that person, Serena. You just need to find your way.” She smiles tentatively, “Just get through your first few patients, I think you’ll get into the groove faster than you think.”

“Right,” I say, looking at the logo and finding a quiet smile on my lips. “And… if I really own this place. I could see regular patients, too. Just… normal people who need help.”

Strong arms wrap around me, “Whatever you want.”

I lean into those strong arms, heat building under my skin as I consider the beautiful woman who has already done so much for me. I lean my head back, just under the crook of her neck, and just allow myself to feel whole.

Akari is back, Dad and my team are safe, and… my future no longer looks so bleak. We’ll still have to hold back the seemingly never-ending tide of Volcora, but perhaps that can be healed, too. Maybe, for the first time in my life, I don’t have to feel like the world is ending around me.

“Want to go in and look around?” Akari asks, a smile I can see in her words.

I grin, pressing my body against hers. “Yes… let’s.”

With a joyous laugh, Akari scoops me off my feet and dashes toward the front doors with inhuman grace.

“A-Akari!!!” I squeak, eyes wide as I do my best just to hold on.

“This might not be a house, but I definitely get to carry you over the threshold!” she calls, still laughing.

***

“Well, that sounds good,” Linda says, adjusting her large glasses around her perpetually concerned expression.

I nod, absently petting the therapist’s small dog that curled up on the couch beside me. The animal seems to pay no mind to the supernatural familiar curled up just beside him.

“It is good… I think,” I say, thinking back to the fun Akari and I had while exploring the new clinic. The A Rank Council spared no expense in preparing it as quickly as possible, even if they needed to retrofit the building.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Linda asks, crossing her legs.

I huff out a breath, looking around the small, cozy office, anywhere but at Linda herself. The therapist always did this, bouncing my own questions and thoughts back on me. However… it does feel nice to have someone I can just talk to without the normal tensions or relationships I might have to navigate with others.

Choosing my next words carefully, I say, “There’s still a part of me that wonders… if I deserve this.” I shake my head, “Akari — everyone does so much for me, and… what do I do for them? I try my best, but… ultimately, I’m selfish. They praise me for figuring out how to revive fallen sentinels, but I only did that so I could save Akari. Sure, I eventually wanted to figure it out to help Audrey, but…”

Linda narrows her eyes, “Serena, you have been through and done a great deal. Most of it wasn’t selfish and greatly helped people. And even if it was selfish, so what? You wonder if you deserve the things you have, but why should you? It sounds to me like Akari did this for you because she loves you, and you give a lot of people hope. Why would you not deserve it?”

“You know I don’t have a good answer for that,” I grump, shifting so I can give Celeste her due pets as well.

“You don’t need a good answer,” Linda says, offering a smile. “You just need your answer.”

We fall into silence for a minute, Linda just silently letting me contemplate my emotions. Finally, she prompts me again. “This new clinic opens next week, yes? Are you excited to start treating patients?”

I smile and nod, “Audrey has been waiting, but I know she’s impatient to bring Jessie back. Akari says that Felix has helped set up some more permanent inscriptions in the clinic, and he’ll be stopping by tomorrow so we can go over things together now that I know about the place. Also, I need to start hiring people to help me. Stars, I’m going to need receptionists and nurses and… who knows what else! I wonder if I can poach my old assistant, Kiley, to help me get things set up. I have plenty of money to throw at the problem, so with her, I’m certain we can get things rolling in time.”

“And you intend to incorporate the large tree… Florina, you said?” Linda asks.

“Yes!” I say happily. “Florina is great with just… curing things. But she isn’t perfect. Some issues just come back after her treatment, and a lot of things require actual medical knowledge, where the brute force approach she takes doesn’t work quite as well. Akari set up the clinic near her so we can get her help when mana is an issue, but we think routing the patients through the clinic before sending them to the tree is a good idea. Amyia has been doing a great job, so the idea is to have her and the nurses help people over to Florina for treatment when it's easier for her to do it rather than handling it in-house.”

For a while, I simply gush about all my ideas for the clinic. Where I want to put a reception desk and a waiting room, what I can do to make patients more comfortable while they are waiting to be seen. Even the colors of the walls matter to keep everyone feeling happy and confident in their own recovery.

And by the end of it… I feel lighter. I haven’t even gotten to start helping people, but the simple knowledge that this is what I will be dedicating the rest of my life to helps immensely. Maybe I will never be able to make up for the bad things I’ve done, but… maybe things won’t end up all that bad either.

I leave Linda’s office with a smile on my lips, bidding her goodbye at the end of our session. Soon, hopefully, I won’t need to see her quite as often. Maybe I can even incorporate the lessons I learn from her into my own work as a healer.

Akari and Lucas wait for me outside, and together, we head off to get dinner with Dad and the team. And for the first time in a very long while… I find myself looking forward to tomorrow.