I'm Albus Fucking Dumbledore - Chapter 29

Chapter 29

2nd of September 1991

Ministry of Magic

One could measure the separation of powers in matters of geography. For example, one of the first things Dick Cheney did when he became Vice President of the United States was to establish three offices: one in the Senate, one in the House of Representatives, and one in the White House.

All that was needed to be said about the separation of power in magical Britain was the following : Lucius Malfoy had four offices. One near the Wizengamot chamber, in his capacity as a Lord; another in the headquarters of the Cavaliers, his political party, of which he was president; and two within the Ministry. One of these, his primary office, was as Master Quaestor, his role as an Administrator and one that conferred great power, and the other, a smaller - and officious - office, was situated near the Minister’s, where he served as the Minister’s personal advisor. These offices spoke volumes about the power he wielded and the corruption that permeated the Ministry.

In his main office, the one of the Master Quaestor, Lucius scowled as he read the letters before him. His son’s letter was the first he had read, but it was the subsequent letters from his clients—parents of sixth and seventh-year students at Hogwarts—that truly captured his attention. They had written in haste, hoping to curry favor and be of use to him by relaying the chaos that had erupted at the school the previous day.

Had Dumbledore truly gone mad? And more importantly, how could he leverage this situation to his advantage? Technically, Dumbledore had not overstepped his authority; all his actions fell within his rights as Headmaster. All but one thing: the replacement of Severus Snape by his sister-in-law, Andromeda Tonks, for less than twenty-four hours. This seemingly trivial decision was significant. Andromeda could not legally be considered a Black, not after her disownment. However, the Black succession was in a grey area, and challenging Dumbledore on this would require proof—proof that lay within the Black family tapestry at Grimmauld Place, protected by impenetrable wards until Draco turned sixteen and could attempt to inherit.

But the temporary replacement of Snape—this was a prerogative that technically belonged to the Hogwarts Board. Technically. But technicalities could move peoples and states. Lucius smiled ferally, his mind racing with possibilities. Perhaps he had found a way to strike at Dumbledore. As president of the Hogwarts Board, Lucius had the authority to convene an exceptional meeting of the board, a meeting in which, due to its special nature, Albus Dumbledore would not be permitted to participate. A meeting which he now had an excuse to convene. This could be the opportunity he had been waiting for.

He summoned his assistant with a quick flick of his wand. The young man entered promptly, bowing slightly. "Prepare ten letters to the members of the board, the Hogwarts one, for an executional session" Lucius instructed.

"Yes, Lord Malfoy," his assistant replied deferentially.

"When can the meeting be convened at the earliest?" Lucius asked, his eyes narrowing with determination.

"The sixth, Lord Malfoy."

Lucius’s smile widened. "Perfect," he murmured. "Do it."

The assistant nodded and quickly left the room to carry out the task.

— — —

2nd of September 1991

Hogwarts

Quirinus Quirrell felt the sinister whisper of his master curl around his mind. “Go,” it commanded. He adjusted his turban nervously, murmuring a hurried "Y-yes" before making his way toward the Headmaster's office, anxiety gnawing at him. This time, he did not have to fake his stutter. What could Dumbledore possibly want?

He approached the stone gargoyle guarding the entrance to Dumbledore's office, clutching a small piece of parchment with the new password. Stopping dead in his tracks, he read the words, shivering in fear. His master’s voice hissed in his ear again, dripping with irritation. “Paranoid fool. If he knew and wanted to ambush us, he would not tell us about it. Proceed.”

Swallowing hard, Quirrell enunciated the password, “Voldemort is bald so nobody can use his hair to polyjuice into him”. The gargoyle pivoted smoothly, revealing the spiral staircase leading up to the Headmaster's office.

As he climbed the stairs, his dread grew. Nothing could have prepared him for the sight that awaited him.The office was... normal. Plain, even. For once. A rare sights nowadays.

But in the background, Hawaiian music played softly, and the ceiling projected an animated mini sun. The floor was covered in sand. Dumbledore, in a pair of sunglasses, flip-flops, and a garish Hawaiian shirt and shorts, sipped a cocktail from a coconut.

“Ah, Quirinus. Perfect,” Dumbledore said cheerfully, lounging back as if he were on a beach. “May I introduce you to Remus Lupin?”

Next to Dumbledore stood Remus Lupin, an imposing figure with broad shoulders and muscles that bulged beneath his brand new well-tailored robes, embroidered with a Phoenix crest. His height alone was intimidating, towering over Quirrell. His piercing eyes bore into Quirrell with sheer animosity, the intensity of his gaze matched only by the menacing growl that rumbled from his chest. He looked like he wanted to tear Quirinus apart and feast on his corpse

Dumbledore, seemingly unfazed, swatted the man on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper. “Bad doggy.”

Quirrell gulped, his knees almost buckling. Why did Dumbledore want to introduce him to an angry werewolf?

“P-Professor Dumbledore, w-what is th-this about?” Quirrell stammered, his voice barely above a whisper.

Dumbledore leaned back in his chair, taking a leisurely sip of his drink. “Well, Quirinus, due to your… impediment,” he began, carefully choosing his words, “it’s become somewhat difficult for students to understand you. But you’re an excellent teacher, truly. So, I thought it might help to have someone who can, shall we say, repeat your instructions more clearly.”

Quirrell’s eyes darted to Lupin, who looked like he wanted to tear him limb from limb. “Th-thank you, Headmaster,” Quirrell stuttered, his mind racing with panic.

“Splendid!” Dumbledore exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “So, Remus Lupin here will be shadowing you. In your classes. And everywhere else, really. Never know when you may need to communicate with a student.”

Quirrell’s heart sank as he glanced at Lupin, who continued to glare at him with an anger - or a hunger ? - that was anything but reassuring. He gulped again, forcing a shaky smile. “Th-thank you, Headmaster. I-I appreciate it.”

Dumbledore smiled warmly, seemingly oblivious to the tension. “I’m sure this will be a wonderful arrangement. Now, off you go. Enjoy your first day together!”

Quirrell nodded, turning on trembling legs to leave the office, Lupin’s growl echoing in his ears, as he started following him.

— — —

2nd of September 1991

?

Bill Weasley grasped the Portkey—a mismatched sock, tattered and stained with years of wear—feeling the familiar pull behind his navel. His heart raced as he was yanked through a swirling vortex of color and sound, hurtling toward his destination. His mind buzzed with anticipation. Resigning from Gringotts had been satisfying, but the promise of working for Albus Fucking Dumbledore was exhilarating. The world solidified around him, and Bill stumbled slightly, catching his balance on the forest floor. The dense canopy of the Forbidden Forest loomed overhead, filtering the sunlight into dappled patterns on the ground. The air was thick with the scent of pine and moss, and the distant silhouette of Hogwarts castle stood majestically against the horizon.

"A clearing in the Forbidden Forest?" he muttered, bewildered.

Before him was a scene of organized chaos. Golems, hewn from stone and armed with spears, stood guard like ancient sentinels. House Elves darted about, coordinating efforts with other golems and a towering giant who seemed to be struggling with a colossal beam. Hagrid, the half-giant, bellowed encouragement from below.

“C’mon, Grawp! Ye can do it! Lift it higher!” Hagrid’s voice echoed through the clearing as the giant, maybe a brother of him, strained to position the beam. “Tha’s it! Jus’ a bit more!”

Bill's attention was drawn to the pop of Apparition beside him. His father, Arthur Weasley, appeared, eyes wide with amazement as he took in the construction. "Morning, Bill," Arthur said, his voice tinged with awe. "This is quite the sight, isn’t it?"

“Morning, Dad,” Bill replied, equally stunned. “Dumbeldore is building a fucking wizard tower. A proper one. Like in the comics…I mean, the legends. This is huge. And cool as fuck.”

Their conversation was interrupted by a sudden swirl of flames. Andromeda Tonks—no, Black, apparently, as Ron had corrected—stepped gracefully into the clearing. Her jean shorts hugged her hips tightly, accentuating the curve of her ass, while her white blouse, tied at the waist, highlighted her ample breasts. Her raven-black hair cascaded over her shoulders, and her eyes sparkled with mischief and intelligence. Bill couldn’t help but watch her appreciatively.

“Lady Black,” he greeted, a smile tugging at his lips. “You look absolutely stunning.”

She returned his smile with a wink, her hips swaying slightly as she walked closer. “Bill, Arthur,” she called them with familiarity - even if they had never met more than a few times at a party organized by one of Dumbeldore's most powerful client, the Head of the Department of Magical Transportation, Edmund Trant.

Andromeda gaze swept the clearing with a practiced wariness. “Always stay alert,” she murmured, as if sensing the impending chaos. Before she could finish her thought, the ground beneath them erupted. Alastor “Mad-Eye” Moody burst forth, launching a surprise attack. With lightning speed, he disarmed both Weasleys and sent them sprawling. The earth seemed to shake with the force of Moody’s emergence, dirt and roots flying in every direction.

Bill hit the ground hard, his wand skittering away. He rolled to his feet, heart pounding, and reached for his wand, only to find Moody’s boot planted firmly on it. The older wizard’s magical eye whirled madly, taking in everything at once.

“Constant vigilance!” Moody growled, his voice like gravel. “Never let your guard down. Especially not here.” His regular eye fixed on Bill, a mixture of disdain and grudging respect. “Sloppy, Weasley. Didn’t even see me coming. You think dark wizards will give you a warning?”

Arthur scrambled up beside Bill, brushing dirt from his robes. “Master Auror Moody, we weren’t expecting—”

“That’s the bloody point!” Moody barked, cutting him off. “You’re never supposed to expect an attack. You have to be ready at all times!” He leaned closer to Bill, his face inches away. “And you,” he snarled, “were gawking at the scenery like a first-year on his first trip to Diagon Alley. Eyes open, head on a swivel!”

Bill gulped, his heart still racing. He glanced at his father, who looked equally shaken. But Bill smiled. There was Alastor fucking Moody. He was going to work with the legend ! If he was here,  it meant it was a fucking big project. And maybe the Master Auror could give him a few pointers ?

Moody straightened up, his magical eye still whirring as it scanned their surroundings. “You think this tower is just going to build itself without attracting any unwanted attention? You’re in for a rude awakening. Dark forces are always watching, always waiting for a moment of weakness.”

Suddenly, the ground beneath Moody erupted violently. “Constant Vigilance!”, someone thundered, launching themselves at the retired Master Auror with deadly intent. The figure shot up from the earth with a roar, robes flaring like the wings of a demon. It was Albus Fucking Dumbledore. The air filled with the scent of ozone as the two wizards clashed, their spells tearing through the air like bolts of lightning. Dumbledore moved with a deadly grace, casting spells with lethal precision. Blinding beams of energy shot from his wand, each one crackling with destructive power. Moody countered with equal ferocity, his magical eye swiveling wildly as he predicted and deflected the attacks. The ground trembled with their power, trees shattering and splintering under the force of their duel.

Moody vanished with a sharp crack, reappearing behind Dumbledore and unleashing a barrage of curses meant to maim and cripple. Dumbledore spun around, deflecting the dark spells with a flick of his wand before summoning a wall of searing flame that roared between them. With a swift motion, he dispelled the flames and sent a hail of razor-sharp, crystalline shards at Moody, who conjured a shield just in time. The impact was so powerful it sent him sprawling, his shield exploding into fragments.

Dumbledore pressed the attack. He Apparated around Moody with bursts of silent, deadly speed, firing off curses that left deep gouges in the earth and shattered boulders to dust. Moody, bloodied and battered, managed a final, desperate counterattack, but Dumbledore’s wand was a blur of dark magic and motion. With one last, devastating blast, he sent Moody flying through the air, his body crashing into a boulder with a sickening thud. Moody laughed like a madman, his raspy cackle echoing through the clearing as he brushed off the dirt and debris. "Good one, Albus. You had me," he said, his voice rough but filled with a wild amusement that sent chills down Bill’s spine.

"And you, Alastor, still have the reflexes of a dragon. Quite impressive. For an old man, I mean."

Bill, Arthur, and Andromeda stood there, shell-shocked, struggling to process the violent spectacle they had just witnessed. The sheer intensity of the duel left them in stunned silence. Meanwhile, Hagrid continued to cheer on Grawp as the giant carefully lifted another massive beam into place. The house-elves and golems worked diligently around them, completely unperturbed by the explosive display of magic that had just occurred. The elves, as if used to such chaotic scenes, scurried about their work without so much as a flinch.

Dumbledore turned back to Moody, still smiling. "I see you’ve finally managed to find a way to Apparate within the Hogwarts wards."

Moody grumbled, his magical eye whirring as it scanned the area. "Aye, but don’t get too excited. I can only do it from one point inside the wards to another. Can’t go through them."

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully. "Still, it’s an impressive feat. Few could accomplish such a thing."

Moody snorted, a hint of pride in his gravelly voice. "Well, constant vigilance and all that."

Dumbledore chuckled softly. "Indeed, Alastor. Indeed." He turned his attention to the three onlookers, who were still wide-eyed with shock. "Now, I believe we have much to discuss."