Ricky Jamaraz

jamaraz unreleased #31: 'Saudade'

Added 2025-01-20 20:00:04 +0000 UTC

greetings everyone! today i've got a very old track (3+ years old!) that I made as part of an album I scrapped called 'Affordable Happiness'. I've shared a few other songs from that album on here, so if you wanna hear the others you can go to the main page of my patreon and on the search thing the should be a way to filter by tags, and just look for 'Affordable Happiness' there.

this one's quite a long one, it's quite progressive I suppose, but I think it shows that I was up for writing complex songs even when I was really first starting out. (My singing is pretty shit tho icl so ignore that...)

For those wondering, 'Saudade' is an emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone (thanks wikipedia). It's a Portuguese word.

Lyrics

I'm aroused by addiction
Dominated by fiction
Pretending is my religion
My mind is my place of worship

Insomnia is my friend
My dreams, I barely attend
I lay here in my bed
Figuring out what this is all about
It's starting to hurt my head
This pleasurable ache I chase after

It feels like pins and needles
In my heart and nearby regions
It traverses my arms as my conscience weakens
And I don’t know whether I like it or not

That’s what keeps me coming back
To the ever so painful pleasure attack
I feel a painful nostalgia
For things that I imagine
Things that don’t exist
Made up characters

Can one feel nostalgia
For something that never even happened?
I think I can
Does anyone feel this way
Or I am I all alone in this tiny world
That’s too big for me

My lungs won’t take in more air
But there is still space there
To others it’s quite a scare
To me it’s just a daily routine

My mind wanders for eternity
In the desolate landscape that once was me
I’m waiting for my personal infinity
To catch up with my unbearable melancholy
I don’t want your understanding
I just want you to know

Can one feel nostalgia...