Rough Draft - Suddenly A Succubus Ch. 23
Added 2024-08-12 17:00:00 +0000 UTC(Hey guys! I went ahead and updated some of the sections in this chapter. I tried to incorporate in all your notes, while also slightly altering the fight at the end to make it easier to follow. If you find the time, I'd love to get your opinions on how Version 2 fares. Also, when you share your thoughts, could you put (V2) at the start of your comment? Just so it's easier to sort through everything. Thanks again for all the feedback!!)
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Chemistry class the next morning proved to be one of the longest hours of Amara’s life. She could barely keep herself awake, as she’d been up all night glued to her phone. Vee was back, after all, and had agreed to help them stop the cult. When they’d last spoke, she’d promised to reach out as soon as she located her Enochian texts, but Amara had no idea how long that would take. Every time her phone vibrated, she would hastily grab it hoping for a text from Vee, but it always proved to be something else. Another photoshoot sale, a comment on a random post, as well as a few texts from Tessa and Nick.
Now, as she leaned her face against her hand while the professor explained their lab, she still couldn’t resist the urge to check her phone every couple seconds. This was frustrated even further by her enhanced hearing; she could hear every phone in the classroom, and she wasn’t experienced enough to differentiate between them.
The lab was also frustrating because Amara had hoped to see Vee again. This was Vee’s first week of classes, and they’d been lab partners up until Halloween. It’s not that Amara disliked her new lab partner, a somewhat nervous girl with bright blue hair, but she wanted everything to go back to normal. Sadly, Vee was nowhere to be seen, and class went on without her.
Her new lab partner, thankfully, was a very eager student. Amara frequently felt like a glorified assistant, but was happy to have someone else do most of her classwork for her. Her partner was currently trying to light the Bunsen burner, though didn’t seem to be having any luck.
“Amara, can you light this?” the blue-haired girl asked, giving up.
With a lazy smile, Amara grabbed the striker and moved it over the burner. She squeezed it half-heartedly, unsure if she’d even made any sparks, and used her own inner fire to light the burner. Once finished, she opened her notebook and started copying over some notes. “Alright, ready to go.”
“How do you always get that on your first try?”
“Maybe I’m just lucky,” Amara said, chuckling to herself. She spent the rest of class watching her lab partner do most of the work, occasionally helping out when asked. Her phone went off exactly six times, though none of the notifications were from Vee.
Hours later, Amara sat down for lunch with Chloé, still having heard nothing. Tessa was also nowhere to be found, but that was to be expected; she’d texted earlier that she was going over her notes on the magic circles. Amara tried to pass the time with small talk, asking Chloé about her classes and her charity.
“What about you? How are classes?” Chloé asked, pushing the remains of her lunch aside.
“I can’t complain. They’re pretty straightforward, even if it’s a little hard to focus right now.” Amara sighed, wishing she could tell Chloé more.
“Is that ‘cuz Vee’s back?”
“…Yeah, pretty much.”
Chloé hesitated, looking like she was unsure of something, then continued. “What are you two fighting about? If that’s okay to ask, I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes…”
You know the rule, Amara, only tell people once they’re involved. Still, I feel bad leaving her in the dark… maybe a half truth would be okay?
Amara forced a smile. “Well, kinda a couple things, but mostly… I started sleeping with Nick.”
“Seriously?! But you two always said you didn’t want to date!” Chloé was leaning forward now, clearly eager to hear more.
“We’re not dating, it’s just a friends with benefits thing. Vee had a bit of a crush on him, though, and when she found out, things got a little… heated. Then she got hurt in that fire, and we haven’t really had time to talk about it.”
“That really sucks, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” Chloé asked.
“I appreciate the offer, but no. This is something we have to work through on our own.” Amara sighed, wishing she could say more. “Could you not tell her I said anything?”
“Your secret is safe with me!” Chloé reached over, squeezing Amara’s hand briefly before the conversation shifted to more mundane matters. Over lunch, Amara’s phone went off a dozen more times, but there was still nothing from Vee.
Long after classes had ended, just after dusk, Amara and Nick were finishing up dinner. He’d come over after school had ended, and he’d taken the opportunity to tell Amara everything he’d talked about with Vee. She hung on every word as he recounted their conversation, hoping to learn more about was Vee was thinking. Sadly, the more Nick talked, the more it became obvious that Vee seemed as confused as ever.
“Ugh, I hate waiting! Every time my phone goes off, I think it’s her. I wish there was more I could do!” Amara fell onto the couch, pulling a throw pillow over her head.
“I’m sure this isn’t easy for her, Amara. We don’t know what her childhood was like, but she’s clearly known about her heritage for a while. When we had our date, she actually mentioned that her parents weren’t entirely hers, but she wouldn’t elaborate. I’ll bet there’s some weird Angel magic at play with that.”
“Okay? What’s that got to do with this?”
Nick pushed Amara’s legs aside and sat next to her. “What I mean, Amara, is that she grew up knowing she was an angel. I’ll bet the Church has told her a million times how bad demons are.”
“That’s… kinda what she told Tessa. Something about how all demons are manipulative, and prey on mankind’s desire to be good. Stupid church propaganda.”
“Are they wrong? The instant you saw another demon at that cult meeting, you were terrified.”
“That’s different! That demon took over Mr. Mendez’ body! I can’t say this for sure, but it looked like there was nothing left of him after the possession. I don’t think he’s alive in there, Nick.”
With a heavy sigh, Nick placed a hand on Amara’s leg. “Look, she just needs time. I can’t imagine what she’s going through, but it looks like she’s trying to give you the benefit of the doubt. She’s helping with the cult, right? She’s talking to Tessa and myself about your transformation, she’s trying to understand.”
“Ugh, stop being so reasonable, Nick. You’re making me feel bad about complaining.”
The two laughed, though it was obvious they both carried tension in their voices. After a moment of silence, Nick spoke up again. “Maybe… a distraction would help?” he asked. His hand slid higher on her leg, and he squeezed her inner thigh.
“Ohh is someone feeling frisky?” Amara spread her legs slightly, smirking at Nick.
“Hey, Tessa got you last time, and I seriously considered masturbating for the first time in months earlier today. Plus, you need to keep your strength up.”
“You poor thing! So used to having a slutty succubus at your beck and call, however will you survive?” Amara’s voice dripped with sarcasm as she sat up, pushing Nick back so she could straddle him.
“Truly no one suffers more than I.” Nick smirked as he pulled Amara’s shirt off. He undid her bra with a snap of his fingers, a trick Amara showed him that made their constant fucking much more convenient.
“What are you going to do when you finally settle down? How could anyone else possibly compare to having your own personal sex demon?” Amara returned the favor, pulling off Nick’s shirt before she started undoing his pants. She leaned in, kissing him briefly before moving to his neck and biting him hard.
“Fuck… someone’s awfully full of herself tonight. Do I need to put you in your place?”
“I’d like you see you try, Nicholas.” Amara pulled back, her eyes flaring as she stood up. She quickly pulled the rest of her clothes off, but rather than straddling Nick again, she started walking to her room. She flicked her tail suggestively, and made sure to accentuate her hips as she walked.
Nick happily chased after her, undressing as he made his way to the bedroom. His aura continued growing, which brought a smile to Amara’s face.
At least this part of my life is simple.
When Nick walked into the bedroom, Amara jumped out from behind the door and grabbed him. “Gotcha! You’re mine now!” She wrapped her tail around his torso, took a deep breath, and lifted him clean off the ground. His hands grabbed her arms, and he was clearly shocked by how easily she’d lifted him. Seconds later, she threw him down on the bed and crawled on top of him.
“Fuck, could I get a warning next time?” Nick moaned as Amara bit his neck again, but she quickly backed off and gently kissed him on the lips.
“Aww where’s the fun in that?”
The two started grinding against each other, which felt infinitely more enjoyable without clothes in the way. Amara let herself lay on top of Nick, her breasts pushed against his chest as she felt his thick cock throbbing underneath her. His hands brushed against her waist, slowly moving further down until he’d found her ass. He massaged her slowly, digging his fingers deep into her soft flesh. With each gentle pull, she could feel her pussy tingling, as if he were spreading her open in anticipation.
Not wanting to wait any longer, she connected with his aura and took a deep breath. His excitement was delicious, and she could sense how eager he was to be inside her. She broke off their kiss, smirked at Nick, then slid down the bed until she’d settled comfortable between his legs.
After licking her lips in anticipation, she kissed the base of his cock slowly. Her tongue snaked out, massaging his balls as he started to moan out in pleasure. With each kiss, her mouth moved higher, and soon she’d reached the tip.
“So fucking hot, Amara…” Nick moaned.
“Oh, you like it hot, do you?” An idea formed in Amara’s head, and she took a deep breath while connecting with her inner fire. After all her practice, she felt confident enough to try something new. When she breathed out, her breath was much hotter than it had any right to be. She opened her mouth wide, keeping his cock on the tip of her tongue, and spit dripped down her chin as she teased him. When Nick looked down, he saw flames at the back of her throat. They illuminated the inside of her mouth, a soft red glow that made her look like a dragon preparing to attack.
“Shit, Amara, that’s… really wild. Hopefully you’re planning on putting that out when you actually get to work?”
A giggle escaped her lips, and she felt a few sparks dancing inside her mouth. “Don’t worry, Nick, I wouldn’t dare hurt this wonderful cock of yours.” Amara closed her mouth, made a show of swallowing, and opened it again to show Nick that the fire was gone.
“You’d make a fortune if you ever joined the cir— oh fuck!” Nick’s thought was interrupted when Amara kissed the head of his cock and pushed down, swallowing his entire length in an instant. She let her tongue reach for his balls again, slowly massaging them as she let her throat constrict around his shaft. His hands reached for her head, grabbing her horns tight as he twitched in pleasure.
Amara could feel through his aura how much he was enjoying himself, and she started bobbing up and down. Before long, Nick’s cock, as well as her comforter, were soaked in spit as she eagerly sucked him off. She continued to pick up her pace, keeping tabs on his aura to figure out exactly how fast he wanted her to move today. He tended to like it rough and fast, especially when she gave him free reign to use her horns as handles, but he wasn’t in charge right now. She eventually settled on a slower pace than he clearly wanted, which would prevent him from cumming while also keeping him plenty excited.
Her moans joined his, as much as her busy mouth would allow, as she happily shared in his pleasure. After several minutes of this, Nick managed to find the strength to speak again. “I know you can cum from this, but— fuck… I’d love to feel more than just your mouth today.”
She let his cock slide from her mouth, slick from her spit as she responded. “You know, most guys would consider a girl that can cum from blowjobs the equivalent of winning the lottery.”
“Maybe you’ve only got yourself to blame, and your pussy is just that good.” With his hands still wrapped around her horns, Nick pulled her close until their lips met again. They kissed slowly, their bodies positioning until Amara’s sex was hovering over his shaft. Using her tail, she lined herself up, then happily welcomed him inside.
It was her turn to moan, her voice deep and guttural as she felt him slide deep inside her. Once he was fully inside her, she eagerly began grinding against his crotch, feeling every twitch his cock made while she fucked him. While she was more than happy to cum through someone else’s aura, she definitely noticed a difference when she was being pleasured directly.
Placing her hands on Nick’s chest, she started squeezing her legs and bouncing up and down. She moved slowly, letting the entire length of his shaft pump into her pussy, continuing to feed on his aura while she did so. Once again, she found the perfect pace to keep him excited while staving off his orgasm, and happily stayed there until she found her first orgasm.
Her body shook and trembled as the pleasure raced through her, and she didn’t bother quieting her passionate moans. Every muscle in her body twitched, and she fought the urge to squeeze Nick as hard as she could for fear of hurting him. Instead, she settled for letting her excitement erupt from her horns, casting an aurora of purple and red light on the walls while her flames dances around her head. By the time she’d calmed down, and checked to make sure she hadn’t burnt anything, she felt that Nick had started taking control of their pace.
“Now, who said you could do that?” Amara teased.
“Hey, you weren’t complaining,” he said, smirking.
An idea crossed Amara’s mind, and she leaned in to kiss him before speaking. “Do you still want to put me in my place?”
“Absolutely! I’ve got to get back at you for throwing me across the room earlier.”
“Well then, why aren’t you bending me over already?” Amara giggled, and within seconds, she was letting Nick pick her up to reposition her. Once she was comfortably on her knees, she reached under the bed with her tail, and soon she’d pulled out her lube. She handed it to Nick, who paused after seeing it.
“Which toy do you want?” he asked, looking down at her shoebox of naughty accessories.
“No toys today.” Using her tail, she pulled herself backwards until she was kneeling in front of Nick, and she laid her head on his shoulder. She reached for his cock, slowly stroking him as she whispered, “I want you to fuck me in the ass, Nick.”
Nick’s aura, already pulsing with desire, seemed to double in potency as she spoke. She could see every emotion running through him; lust and excitement, obviously, but he also seemed a little nervous. “Are you sure? I’m definitely bigger than the toy we used last time…”
“I mean, if you don’t want to…”
“T-that’s not what I said!”
Amara reached up, running her hands through his hair before pulling it tight. “Nicholas, if you’re not fucking my ass in the next sixty seconds, I’m pinning you down to see if you like it instead.”
The intensity of her words spoke volumes, and Nick clearly got the hint. He pushed her back to the bed, pulled her hips closer, and opened the bottle of lube. Amara felt a generous amount fall onto her tight asshole, and soon Nick was using a finger to get her ready. He pushed inside, and she squeezed tight to tease him as she moaned. After lubing up his cock as well, he grabbed her hip, and held her steady while he began pushing inside.
It took longer than expected for his cock to push into her ass. He was clearly being cautious, and while Amara wanted to judge him for his hesitation, she reluctantly accepted that taking this slow was a good idea. He pushed forward, bit by bit, and soon enough she felt her entrance give.
The head of his cock felt much bigger than it had previously, and it was strange having him inside her ass. Much like with her toys, there was an unusual stretching feeling as he carefully slid deeper inside her, but thankfully she’d come to love that sensation during all her practice. His cock was softer than her toys, which were all various forms of silicone, and she loved how hot his shaft felt. She lost track of time as she waited for him to bottom out; seconds seemed like minutes as she held her breath in anticipation. When she finally felt his thighs meet hers, she instinctually let out a load moan.
“Fuuck… you’re so thick, it’s so different than my toys…” Amara moaned, her fingers digging into the bed sheets.
Nick leaned forward, whispering into her ear. “Does it feel good?”
“It’s amazing, please don’t stop. I want more, I want to feel you cum!” Amara pushed back, and the two grinded against each other for a moment before she felt Nick pull back. He was upright again, keeping one hand on her hip while the other grabbed one of her horns, pulling her head back sharply. As he held her completely still, she felt his cock start to leave her ass, and her body shook with anticipation. Before pulling out completely, he pushed back in, and soon he found a steady rhythm while he fucked her.
She appreciated his caution; as much as she was enjoying herself, she knew she needed time to adjust to his cock. Even with her toys, she tended to stop once they were all the way in, and she’d never properly fucked herself with them. Now, with Nick eager to claim her ass, it’s like she was rediscovering everything she’d come to love about anal.
Each thrust felt more deliberate, and her confidence grew alongside Nick’s as they figured out each other’s body. He began pulling back even further, threatening to leave her entirely, but he never did. His aura continued growing, and she knew she would have incredible amounts of energy to spare after they finished. She also swore he’d borrowed her shapeshifting abilities, as it felt like his cock grew even larger as he started fucking her harder and harder. His hips began bouncing off her ass, and he even released his hold on her hips to spank her.
It only took a few minutes for the assfucking to overwhelm her. Another orgasm raced through her body, and now that she wasn’t in control, she had no way to steady herself for it. Her eyes rolled back in her head, she lost control of her voice, and she bucked wildly as she tried to fuck Nick back as hard as she could. This orgasm was wild, chaotic, and she lost track of her body as she grew more and more consumed by the pleasure overloading her senses.
Just when she thought it might start abating on its own, she felt Nick’s aura swell, likely stimulated by her frantic bucking. He finally started cumming, both hands grabbing her horns as he bottomed out in her ass. His cock twitched, emptying its load deep inside her, and every few seconds his hips would briefly thrust hard into her. A frenetic, second wave of orgasmic pleasure took hold of her, and she felt her ass squeezing Nick’s cock for every drop of cum that it could. Without warning, he pulled her up towards him, their bodies colliding as his arms wrapped around her waist. He bit her neck, harder than he’d ever tried before, and another guttural scream filled her bedroom. They stayed there for another minute, Nick’s orgasm slowly fading before Amara’s could do the same. When she finally fell back to the bed, and his cock suddenly pulled out of her ass, she could barely control her breath.
Nick joined her moments later, his own breath as haggard as Amara’s. She found the strength to look at him, sweat dripping down his brow, and her tail affectionately wrapped around one of his legs. By the time they’d both suitably recovered, which took Nick significantly longer, they were both smiling from ear to ear.
“So,” Amara started, “think I’ve been suitably punished?”
“Fuck, Amara, I can’t even think of something witty to say. That was so fucking hot.”
Amara’s tail uncurled from Nick’s leg, grabbing a water bottle from her nightstand. She took a long drink, then offered it to Nick as she finally sat up. Just as she’d expected, the bedroom had taken on a new life due to her renewed energy. She saw signals bouncing around once more, and was even able to start differentiating them. One errant signal connected with Nick’s phone, and she took the opportunity to toss it to him.
“Hey, you’re getting a text,” she said, taking back the water.
Nick unlocked his phone, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “You sure? I don’t see— oh, never mind. Wow, you really can see Wi-Fi.”
“What, did you think I was lying?”
“Well, no, but seeing is believing,” Nick said, pausing for a moment to respond to his message.
Amara took the opportunity to finish the rest of the water, setting it on her nightstand when she finished. She grabbed her phone, which made a familiar tingle when she picked it up, indicating a new text. Used to disappointment, she tried not to get her hopes up, but her newfound self-control went out the window immediately; she had a text from Vee.
Vee: Back of Whitmore Hall, 11 PM. Book is on top floor, possibly the Dean’s office.
“Nick! Vee has a lead!” she said excitedly.
“That’s great! Where’s her book at?”
“She thinks it might be in the Dean’s office, weirdly enough.”
“That’s… odd. Why would he have it? Is he a part of the cult?” Nick asked.
“I don’t think so, I certainly didn’t see him at the meeting. Plus, the cult is trying to summon demons, what use would they have for Enochian Texts? And would they even be able to tell what they were?” As they talked, Amara started pulling her clothes back on. “Honestly, right now, I don’t care why the book is there. Can we go to your place? I need to steal some clothes.”
“Planning on shapeshifting into the Dean? I’ll see what I can put together, but I think he’s a little smaller than I am. We also dress differently, I certainly don’t have any tweed suits.”
“It doesn’t have to be perfect, just good enough.” Amara threw Nick’s pants on the bed, urging him to get dressed. “Now c’mon, get dressed.”
Soon enough, both of them had finished dressing, and left for Nick’s place. There, they did their best to pick an outfit that seemed as close to the Dean’s fashion sense as possible. By the time they’d finished, Amara decided she didn’t want to wait anymore, and left for the meeting spot.
—
Amara felt silly, waiting outside Whitmore Hall while wearing such ill-fitting clothes. She’d considered shifting into the Dean ahead of time, but she didn’t want to confuse Vee when she arrived. Thankfully, Whitmore was slightly further away from the busier parts of campus, and the chances of running into any other students were small.
She didn’t know what to say once Vee arrived. They’d only talked twice she she’d returned to campus, and both conversations had been incredibly stressful. Amara replayed them in her mind, wondering if she might gain any insight she could use to put Vee at ease, but she kept drawing blanks. She wished she could just sit Vee down, explain everything from the start, but getting Vee to agree to such a conversation seemed like an impossible task, especially given the threat of the cult.
After roughly half an hour of nervous fidgeting, Amara finally saw someone approaching the building. Their aura was incredibly faint, which meant it wasn’t Tessa, and it definitely wasn’t a demon.
Amara held her breath as Vee approached, wondering what she should say. Should she say anything? Would it be better to focus on the task at hand? Before she could make up her mind, Vee had closed the distance. She paused for a moment, then moved to the brick wall to join Amara in leaning against it.
“…Amara,” Vee said.
“H-hey Vee. Thank for, um… reaching out. Were there any problems finding your book?”
“No.”
“That’s good! I have no idea how many demons are running around campus right now. The only one I know for sure is Mr. Mendez.”
“Mendez is a demon?” Vee seemed genuinely surprised. “Fuck! That’s why he was acting weird!”
“Do you think he knows you’re an angel? Can demons sense that kind of thing?”
Vee glared at Amara. “Sometimes, it depends on the strength and particular skillset of the demon in question. You can’t sense me, can you?”
“Well, I can see your aura, but it doesn’t look any different than anyone else’s.”
“My aura?” Vee asked.
“That’s what I call it, at least. I can sense traces of, I dunno, some kind of energy around everyone? But because of this, I can… well, I can intuit certain things. There’s nothing in your aura that seems angelic, or anything like that.”
“What do you mean, intuit things? Are you doing something to me?” Vee seemed on edge, and stepped slightly further away.
Ugh, I was hoping to avoid the specifics…
“I’m not doing anything! I just know, like… how horny you are, or when you last had sex…” Amara’s voice quieted, nervous to be talking about sex at a time like this; she didn’t want to make Vee any more uncomfortable.
“Right, succubus,” Vee sighed. “Should’ve known.”
Both girls went quiet. Amara wished she had something else to talk about, but she couldn’t think of anything. It also didn’t make sense to talk about tonight’s plan until Tessa arrived. Thankfully, they didn’t have to wait much longer; Tessa was only five minutes late, practically a new record for her.
“Please, don’t stop the party on my account,” Tessa said. She looked over at Amara, her eyes running over the clothes she was wearing. “What’s with the outfit? You planning on shifting again?”
“That was the plan, yeah. I figured, if we’re going to be in the Dean’s office, we might as well have the Dean with us.”
“In those clothes? He would never wear that.” Vee said, rolling her eyes.
“Well, a strange outfit makes more sense than secretly being a shapeshifter. It’s just a precaution if we run into a janitor or something. If we find a demon, they’ll see through me no matter who I look like.”
Tessa stepped between Amara and Vee, changing the topic. “So, what’s the plan? Break in and steal the book back?”
“It’s not stealing, Tessa, it’s mine,” Vee said.
“Of course, morality bends to your whims, never the other way around.”
“Tessa! Shut up!” Amara said, grabbing the witch’s arm and squeezing her tight.
Vee, clearly annoyed, walked over to the back entrance and held her hand up to the door. After a few seconds, a small flash of light surrounded the lock, and the door swung upon on its own. “I’m not against getting my hands dirty, Tess. You coming or not?”
A smug look crossed Tessa’s face, and she past Vee into the building. “Not bad, holy girl.”
Amara followed soon after, and when Vee walked inside, she closed the door behind her. “Alright, I should change into the Dean now. I’m gonna duck into that bathroom, gimme a sec.” Walking over to the bathrooms, Amara quickly pulled her clothes off, then shapeshifted into Samuel Halsen, Dean of Aurelius University. She didn’t like that she had to disrobe to shift, but her shifting always spawned flickers of hellfire, and she didn’t want to risk damaging Nick’s clothes. She was happy with the face she saw in the mirror, and was pretty sure she’d be able to trick any random students or faculty.
Dean Halsen was a slightly smaller man, with a tendency to hunch forward. He had short grey hair, with greyish-blue eyes that sat comfortably next to his prominent crow’s feet. Amara had never seen him in person, other than from a distance at a few large events, but had seen his picture hundreds of times on the campus website. As she walked out of the bathroom, her hands adjusting the last few buttons on the shirt, she saw Tessa and Vee adamantly ignoring each other.
Tessa looked over, examining Amara’s new look before whistling. “Nailed it, as always. You wanna give us some light?”
Amara nodded, summoning a small flame to hover in front of them. As she did so, she immediately noticed Vee flinch in surprise and take a few steps back. “Fuck, maybe a little warning next time?” Vee said.
Guilt rushed through Amara as she spoke. “Shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t think—”
“Yeah, obviously” Vee said, interrupting her. “Just try not to burn the place down, okay?”
Amara stammered, unsure what to say, but ultimately decided it would be best to stay quiet. She walked in front of the others, taking the lead as they started up the stairs. No one talked, and their footsteps echoed off the walls as they passed the second floor, eventually landing on the third.
While they walked, Amara tried to keep an eye out for any unusual electrical signals. She still hadn’t found the time to really experiment with her improved vision, but she wondered if she might be able to detect things like cameras or other sensors. To her knowledge, the campus didn’t have surveillance equipment like that, but she’d started assuming that the school had hundreds of secrets she didn’t know about.
As they slowly walked towards the Dean’s office, Amara felt a strange tingle on the back of her neck. When she turned, she saw Vee had closed her eyes, and appeared to be casting some kind of spell. Although worried it might be something aimed at her, Amara stayed still, and hoped this was just a natural response to being in the presence of divine magic. Her fears were allayed when the spell dropped, and Vee looked up again.
“I’m still sensing the book in the same place,” Vee said. “We’ll have to go through his assistant’s office first.”
At the end of the hall, they found a large door that marked the entrance to the Dean’s office. A large window sat in the door, the glass clouded to give privacy, and simple block letters said “Samuel Halsen, Dean.” As they drew close, and Amara reached for the handle, she hesitated. She could hear something in the Dean’s office.
“Someone’s inside,” Amara whispered. “I’ll go first, try to figure out what’s happening. You two stay hidden.”
Both other girls nodded, and Amara couldn’t help but notice that Tessa had pulled out her switchblade. With a deep breath, Amara grabbed the handle and opened the door.
The office she walked into was empty, and the lights were off. A series of filing cabinets sat against the wall to her right, and a few chairs had been placed to her left. The assistant’s desk had been set up in the back left corner, and on the far wall, Amara could see the door leading to the Dean’s actual office. This door was partially ajar, and a light had been turned on inside.
Amara looked back to Vee and Tessa, signaling that they could enter the assistant’s room, and they hurried inside. Trusting that they could take care of themselves, Amara approached the door and pushed it open, walking inside.
“Hello?” Amara asked, doing her best impersonation of Dean Halsen.
As she entered the Dean’s office, she saw a man rummaging through a large ornate cabinet. He flinched slightly, then turned to look at Amara. His broad, sharp face lit up with a fake smile, and Amara tensed in surprise. She was standing face to face with Sebastian Wellington.
“Dean Halsen! I thought you’d left hours ago!” Sebastian said, his voice calm and confident.
“Why are you in my office, Sebastian?” Amara asked.
I sure hope they’re on a first name basis.
“I could ask you the same thing, Samuel.”
Amara tried to look past Sebastian, hoping to see what he’d been doing, but he was large enough to block her view. “It’s my office, isn’t it? I think you’re dodging my question.”
“You’re right, I shouldn’t be here, but I have good cause.” Sebastian turned back towards the cabinet and pulled something out of it. “In fact, I suspect we’re both here for the same thing.”
When Sebastian turned back towards Amara, she saw a large book in his hands. It had a faded brown cover, and she recognized it immediately: Vee’s Enochian Texts. “Is that so? What could you possibly want with that?”
“I had the same question, actually. Why would a book like this be in the Dean’s office?” Sebastian closed the distance between himself and Amara, holding out the book. “Still, I’m a busy man. How about, rather than bicker back and forth, you just take this book for yourself, and I’ll be on my way?”
Amara looked down at the book nervously. She could feel the intense angelic power radiating from it, and she knew she couldn’t touch it without revealing her identity. “Just put it back where you found it, thank you.”
“What’s the matter?” Sebastian asked, a devious smirk appearing on his face. “Afraid to touch it? It’s not like there are any secrets between us… Amara.”
Amara gasped in surprise. “How did you—”
Before she could finish, Sebastian shoved the book against her chest. It’s energy immediately reacted to her own, but she did her best to hold onto it despite the pain; she needed to keep it safe for Vee. Her entire body felt like it was seizing, and flickers of holy energy leapt from the book as it continued to attack her. Hellfire cascaded down her body, and she unexpectedly returned to her own form, Nick’s clothes now mildly singed.
“Don’t give me that crap, Amara, I know everything. You do a terrible impression of the Dean, by the way.” Sebastian placed a hand on the book, shoving Amara against a wall. “Brandon was all too eager to tell me about you, but even without the hint I would’ve felt your presence. I’ve spent years preparing myself, my body has been hand crafted to be a vessel for demonic power.”
Amara struggled to stay standing amidst the angelic assault. “Why are you throwing your life away? You’ll die as soon your ritual’s complete!”
A deep, confident laugh echoed from Sebastian’s throat. “You dare act like you know more than me? You’re the one wasting your potential! Why try to stop me? I’m bringing your kin into this world, I could give you power beyond your wildest dreams!” Without warning, Sebastian struck Amara’s face, and she fell to the ground.
“You… you can’t do anything!" Amara gasped. "This magic isn’t yours!”
“It will be soon. I know how to bind the demons, how to bend them to my will. They’re so blinded by their own arrogance, they think I’m just another foolish mortal, desperate for scraps of their power.” Sebastian grabbed Amara’s chin, forcing her to look at him. “It’s a shame you won’t be a part of my future.”
Fear flooded Amara, spurring her to action, and she tried to summon her chitinous gauntlets. One hand clutched desperately to Vee's book, refusing to let Sebastian steal it back, and the other erupted in pain as she fought against the Enochian magic. Chitin crawled across her skin, and her clawed hand darted for Sebastian's neck. The energy from the book, however, had slowed her movements, and the mad cult leader managed to intercept her attack, grabbing her wrist tight. Amara's moment of defiance, fortunately, had unwittingly created the perfect distraction; Tessa was standing in the doorway, her tattoos flaring, and her switchblade hurtling through the air. She was clearly aiming at Sebastian's neck, but with a flick of his wrist he managed to deflect the knife at the last second. Rather than burrowing into his throat, as Tessa had likely intended, the blade instead sliced open the side of his neck. Sebastian grunted in pain, releasing Amara as Vee and Tessa ran into the room.
Tessa’s knife floated back to her, and Vee had summoned the same holy blade Amara had seen on Halloween.
“It’s three on one, fucker,” Tessa said. “You’re not getting out of here alive.”
“We all know the succubus is useless now,” Sebastian said. He rolled up his sleeves, neck still bleeding, as an insufferable grin appeared on his face. "I can easily take on two inexperienced children."
Tessa attacked first, running at Sebastian as her tattoos continued flaring. In addition to throwing a series of quick punches, trying to use her size to her advantage, Tessa was also manipulating her knife, continually slashing at Sebastian while she tried to keep him distracted.
Vee ran to Amara’s side and quickly pulled the Enochian Texts off of her. Amara gasped with relief, the pain receding as she tried to stand up. By the time she'd gotten to her feet, she saw Sebastian gain the upper hand against Tessa. He shoved her back, her head colliding with a wall, and she fell to the floor.
Vee tried to take advantage of the distraction, running at Sebastian with her sword ready. She fared much better than Tessa, her form practiced and controlled as she managed to land a series of cuts. Sebastian, however, seemed unnaturally fast for a human, and was easily deflecting Vee's sword from doing any serious damage. It only took him a minute to start taking the advantage, pushing Vee back as he gained ground.
By this point, Tessa seemed to have recovered, and her tattoos flared once more as her switchblade raced towards Sebastian. The cult leader reacted quickly, unexpectedly grabbing the knife out of midair and redirecting it towards Vee. His intent was clearly lethal, and he was aiming the blade at her heart, but Vee managed to deflect the attack slightly. She screamed out in pain as the knife sank into her shoulder, and she fell backwards onto the Dean’s desk.
This whole time, Amara had been trying to shake off the effects of the Enochian. Her movements were shaky, her chitin refusing to manifest correctly. Seeing Vee in trouble, a furious anger erupted in her, channeled it into a burst of hellfire directed at Sebastian. The flames landed, clearly catching him off guard, and he jumped away from Vee in a panic. He ran to the door, quickly putting out the pieces of his shirt that had caught fire, and glared at the three girls.
“This isn’t over! If you try to stop me, I won’t hesitate to kill all of you!” Sebastian ran out of the office, his gasps growing more and more distant until he’d vanished completely.
With the fight over, Amara felt her adrenaline fading, and she looked around to see how everyone else was doing. Tessa seemed alright, but Vee was clutching her shoulder, blood staining her shirt. “Vee! Are you okay?”
Amara ran closer, trying to help Vee off the desk, but Vee knocked her hands away. “Don’t fucking touch me!” she hissed. “You tried to set me on fire!”
Looking at the injury, Amara could see traces of burn damage on Vee’s shirt, and she started panicking. “No! I-I didn’t mean to, I was just trying—”
“Enough! Amara was able to scare Mr. Wellington away; he was clearly ready to kill us.” Tessa said, cutting Amara off. Vee tried to say something, but Tessa kept talking. “We weren’t ready for a fight, and that’s not Amara’s fault. It’s not mine, it’s not yours. Besides, we got your stupid book back, didn’t we?”
By this point, Vee had crawled to the wall next to the door and was leaning against it. She moved her hand, looking at the stab wound, and winced as she pulled her shirt down off her shoulder. “Whatever. We could have done worse, I suppose. This wound isn’t as bad as it looks.”
Amara sat on the floor, looking at Vee’s injury. “Does your book have any healing magic?”
“Thankfully, yes,” Vee said. She pulled her book closer, propping it on her leg as she opened it up. After a minute of flipping through pages, she seemed to find what she was looking for. When her mouth opened, the voice that left it was the most beautiful thing Amara had ever heard. It wasn’t just her body that was singing, it felt like her soul was joining in as well. Her voice had extra layers that seemed to defy the limits of a human body, and the music cascaded off the walls in a way that didn’t seem possible.
At the time, however, Amara's entire body started seizing in pain. Mild shocks traveled through her body, her skin started itching, and an unnatural metallic hum reverberated through her skull. While her ears were enjoying the singing, her soul seemed to be violently rejecting it. She felt as if someone were dragging a cheese grater across her very essence, and she grabbed the sides of her head to try and block out the sound. Still, as painful as the experience was, she couldn't help but look as Vee's wounds slowly began to heal, the skin knitting itself back together in a matter of seconds.
When Vee finished, she closed the book and stood up. Amara fell backwards, releasing her grip on her head as she sighed in relief, the Enochian no longer drilling into her head. Vee moved quickly to the door, not paying any attention to Amara, but stopped after a moment. With a heavy sigh, her eyes glued to the floor, she quietly started speaking. “I guess this adds credence to your claims that Amara’s not involved with this cult. It’s suspicious that he was here tonight, of all nights, but… he did seem like he wanted to kill you. We have my book back, if nothing else, so we’ll need to put together a battle plan. How are we going to stop him?”
Amara stood up, following Tessa and Vee out of the Dean’s office before closing the door behind them. “Nick is trying to find a time where all the teachers in the cult are busy with classes. We think we might be able to make a move while they’re busy.” she said.
“Nick had better not be planning on joining us,” Vee said.
“Absolutely not!” Amara said. “He’s only human, after all.”
“Good. Shoot me a text when he’s found a time, and we’ll figure out the details from there.”
The girls walked in silence through the building, and it only took a few minutes for them to find the exit. The cool night air washed over them, and Tessa had to part ways to head back to her apartment. Vee and Amara were left alone, as they lived relatively close to each other, and the awkward silence continued.
“Um… I’m sorry about the fire,” Amara said quietly, after a few minutes of walking.
Vee didn’t say anything. Another few minutes passed, the only thing filling the silence were the sounds of their footsteps on the sidewalk. When she finally responded, her voice was tense, but also strangely hesitant. “Just… don’t let it happen again.”
Amara couldn’t think of anything else that felt worth saying. There was plenty she wanted to say, sure, but she felt like Vee had become a stranger overnight. The Vee she remembered was always smiling, happy to help others, an overwhelmingly positive person. The girl she now walked next to was sullen, cold, and blocked off.
Is this the real Vee? Was everything else an act, and she simply dropped the mask when we learned about her heritage? Or… did I cause this? Did our fight truly break her this much?
Soon enough, the time came to part ways. Amara took a deep breath, did her best to sound sincere, and spoke up. “G'night, Vee. I’m happy you’re helping us.”
“It’s not really something I can ignore, is it?” Vee said. She turned to leave without saying goodbye, and Amara couldn’t help but notice that her voice was still bitter. When Amara got home, she briefly texted Nick with an update, and collapsed into bed. She barely slept that night, instead spending every waking minute going over the events of the night.
—
Alright, Chapter 23 is live! Sorry I was a few minutes late, the last few days have been a bit hectic on my end. Still, while I'm happy with what I've got here, I wouldn't be surprised if there are a few more errors than usual. Let me know if you find anything, as usual!
I'm particularly interested on feedback for the scene in the Dean's office. It's tense, a little chaotic, and there's a bit a action in there as well. I'm far less practiced with action sequences, and I hope the fight is easy to follow. I wouldn't be surprised if this rough draft gets slightly more revision than usual, but I want to give myself a few days away from it so I can return with fresh eyes in a week or so.
Of course, if you have thoughts on any other parts, let me know!
Nyx <3
Comments
In some Succubus lore the thralls/victims have increase in performance through size, stamina, and experience. This would suggest or furthernhint that Vee may be right and Nick is unknowingly a Thrall. This could be further supported by Nick commenting in an almost sibling rivalry type manner that "Tessa got you last time". I have a feeling though that this wont be explored until maybe the next book. I think there has been a good balance of setting up future stories while working through amd progressing the current story.
Gerald Ferguson
2024-08-21 20:01:29 +0000 UTC(V2) I third agree that this is an improvement over the pervious version. In particular, the fight in the Dean's office feels much better, both in terms of being able to follow the action and also updating the action itself. A more active Amara is definitely appreciated, and each lady getting her own focus is hugely appreciated. Overall, very great work! I'm also glad to see the greater effect that Vee's magic has on Amara. It comes through much clearer that Amara's body and soul have two very different reactions to Angelic forces. Sad to see Nick no longer shaking his hips or flicking his tail. Rest in power, King. [She also swore he’d borrowed her shapeshifting abilities, as it felt like his cock grew even larger as he started . . .] Did she only imagine that? I wonder . . .
AFanofRoses
2024-08-21 19:30:34 +0000 UTCI completely understand where you're coming from, the narrative I'm telling just hasn't had time to dig into the larger institutions at play, like the church or witch covens
Nyx Nyghtingale
2024-08-21 19:09:02 +0000 UTCI'll cease and desist on Vee's personality and language (LOL). I guess even the "angels of our better nature" can cut loose every so often.
Dadhiker
2024-08-21 18:52:54 +0000 UTCI almost feel like Vee and I are.similar in some ways. We are wrestling between what we were spoonfed/shoved down our throats from church vs how the world really is.
Gerald Ferguson
2024-08-21 18:33:45 +0000 UTCVee has been swearing for pretty much the entire series, as far back as Chapter 5, at least. She's got a pretty specific worldview that I'll be exploring in future books, but I'm definitely aware that she's a bit of an enigma at times.
Nyx Nyghtingale
2024-08-21 17:20:33 +0000 UTC(V2) I agree with Gerald about the improvements. There was One line I noticed this time around that I missed earlier, again having to do with Vee's characterization:“Fuck, maybe a little warning next time?” Vee said. As an angel, would Vee swear? (I tried to plug in alternative words like "Jesus" or "Gee-sus," "Gosh," "Christ," or my favorite: "Jesus, Mary and Joseph." None seemed all that effective. "Cripes" seemed to be the most reasonable alternative, unless there is something else about Vee's character that is yet to be revealed. I get the conflicted part of Vee's identity, I'm still trying to wrap my head around the deviation from the more traditional view of the angel aspect. Right now, it appears that Vee and Amara's personalities were switched at birth.
Dadhiker
2024-08-21 16:45:28 +0000 UTC( V2 ) I feel like the tweaks helped keep the same flow and growth of the characters. Amara had stood up to Brandon and Derek multiple times so to see her act the way she did in the original version just didnt feel right. The ( V2 ) helped fix those problems in my opinion and made for a better chapter.
Gerald Ferguson
2024-08-21 02:56:31 +0000 UTCRegarding your comments on Vee, she's absolutely a character that's purposely enigmatic. As she learn more about her in future chapters/books, hopefully her behavior here will make more sense. I've started to allude to this a little bit, particularly in her heated conversation with Tessa last chapter, but I'm aware it's pretty bare bones at the moment. I very much appreciate you encouraging me to work at a healthy pace! I'm happy to see you care, though I promise I'm not overworking myself or trying to stick to unreasonable release schedules. On one hand, I actually quite enjoy sticking to a predictable release schedule; it keeps me motivated and builds a great sense of momentum. On the other, this was a chapter that I knew I wanted additional feedback on, especially when it came to the fight at the end. Since I knew I'd be putting in some extra effort anyways, I figured I might as well write that second draft after getting some input from my lovely beta readers! Plus, while my "rough drafts" tend to be quite polished, despite their namesake, I thought I'd take full advantage of the fact that this isn't the final work.
Nyx Nyghtingale
2024-08-17 04:22:11 +0000 UTCI have very little to add, other than I'm impressed with FanofRoses' sarcastic sense of humor. At first I thought it strange that Sebastian Wellington should have figured out who Amara really was so quickly, but I think you explained it well enough. I agree with Mr. Ferguson that even with the Enochian Book, Amara should have been able to put up more of a fight (if for the drama if nothing else). Additionally, could that book have enabled Sebastian to detect Amara, rather than his own human training in the occult? I presume at some point in the story, Wellington is going to get his (either by Amara or the demons from below) and possession of the book may have its own influence on him. My previous comments about Vee from the last chapter hold true here as well. For an angel, she doesn't seem to possess the quality of forgiveness, especially for someone who is willing to risk her life to retrieve her precious book for her. Presumably, that will be explained in a future chapter? One last comment that doesn't require an answer. You mentioned something about "being late" with this chapter. I didn't know you were on a clock. Take your time and don't be afraid to take a little longer. You seem to be having two and three stories all going at the same time (and I hope you have life, too). You do good work and rushing it isn't going to make it better. Your fans may be anxious to read the next chapter, but like all fans they (we) are willing to wait a little longer for a better product. The adrenaline rush of publishing a popular story is compelling, but nothing kills that rush better than putting out something that you know is not your best work. (I meant that as a general statement -- I didn't mean that as a judgement. It would apply in this chapter ONLY IF YOU felt this wasn't your best work.)
Dadhiker
2024-08-14 01:03:25 +0000 UTCThat's a good point! I'll see if I can work something in :)
Nyx Nyghtingale
2024-08-13 04:11:47 +0000 UTCGreat chapter. Get to see Amara's sexual appetite grow a little, what seemed like the early stages of some possible jealousy from Nick. I think the part where Sebastian grabs her chin after knocking her to the floor.maybe can be tweaked? At least to me it feels like with all she is dealing that she would maybe lose a little control...become angry and try to summon her hellfire or chitin armor....and fail due to the magic of the book...or maybe become angry and spit in his face with something sarcastic like "You wanna fuck this helpless demon like brandon?" To me with all her newly discovered powers and abilities I just dont see her as being scared in this moment.
Gerald Ferguson
2024-08-13 02:12:54 +0000 UTCThanks, as always, for your detailed breakdown of the errors I missed here. Regarding last week, there weren't any actual problems. I had drastically less time than usual to work on this chapter, but everything should be back on track for this week. I like keeping to my schedule, and since it's a rough draft anyways, some extra errors wouldn't be the end of the world. Besides, I'm clearly at fault for setting the standard of my rough drafts so high XD Regarding Vee's use of angelic magic, I tried to show that there was some physical distress when she was casting her spell, though in hindsight it seemed pretty minimal. I might go in and amp up the discomfort a bit to try and sell that point. My goal was to illustrate that Amara is experiencing it on two different levels - both in a mundane sense, and in a supernatural sense. Her mundane senses can tell that Vee's voice is objectively beautiful, but her demonic heritage also causes that magic intense discomfort.
Nyx Nyghtingale
2024-08-12 22:03:06 +0000 UTCCards on the table, I was pretty sure that the fight needed work even before posting this draft here. I figured I might as well get some extra feedback before doing that rewrite, to see if any areas were more problematic than any others. Expect a rewrite later this week, and I'll make sure notifications go out when I post it. Regarding the tone shift, that was definitely intentional. I think high-intensity scenes like the fight in the office hit even harder when we're so used to seeing the calm, everyday lives of Amara & Co. I'm building to the finale of this book, and I needed to establish some stakes before going into the final chapter.
Nyx Nyghtingale
2024-08-12 21:38:18 +0000 UTCUnfortunately, this chapter had more errors than your standard work. I know what your usual quality is like, and your message at the end of this one lets me know that you may be going through something. At the risk of sounding like a weird online rando, I believe that you're stronger than any problems you're currently facing. You have shown that you're extremely dedicated to the things that are important to you, and that's a skill that should carry you far in life. [Chloé reached over, squeezing Amara’s hard briefly before the conversation shifted . . .] Hey now. I thought this wasn't that kind of series. [Once against upright, he kept one hand on her hip . . .] This one may not be an error is Upright is the name of Nick's rockin' six pack. [She took a long drink, than offered it to Nick . . .] It could have been Thanatos from Hades who offered Nick the drink. [Amara’s voice quieted, nervous about talking about sex at a time like with . . .] At a time like this with Vee, maybe. [Brandon was all to eager to tell me about you, . . .] Two eager. [Without warning, Sebastian struck Amara’s face, and she fell to the ground. “You… you can’t do anything! This magic isn’t yours!”] Not an error, but it took me several reads of this line to realize that Amara was the one speaking. [“Now c’mon, get dressed.”] A succubus telling her thrall to get dressed? Now I've seen everything. The following are my thoughts on a few lines from this chapter. [That’s different! That demon took over Mr. Mendez’ body!] One thing we don't know yet is exactly how Amara became a succubus. I guess I thought it was something that was always dormant inside of her, but it could be something closer to the possession that happened to the teacher. Perhaps we'll find out later. [She flicked her tail suggestively, and made sure to accentuate her hips as she walked. Nick followed suit, . . .] In my head, I saw Nick swing his hips and flick his tail, and nobody can convince me that this line means anything else. [. . . Amara felt a strange tingle on the back of her neck. When she turned, she saw Vee had closed her eyes, and appeared to be casting some kind of spell.] If demons can sense Angelic magic, Vee may be in danger. Maybe it's only when she's casting a spell, and demons can't tell just by standing near her that she's an Angel. [When her mouth opened, the voice that left it was the most beautiful thing Amara had ever heard.] It's interesting that a demon hears Angelic sound as beautiful. If the book hurt Amara by holding it, it's incongruent to me that the sound of holiness is beautiful to her. Although, it might be her human side that hears it as beautiful. Or maybe Vee is just a really talented vocalist.
AFanofRoses
2024-08-12 21:29:26 +0000 UTCWell. I certainly didn't expect to fear for anyone's life today. You had me in the first half, and I guess it was optimistic on my part to expect the good times to just keep on coming. On the one hand, it's a little sad knowing that the fun, innocent times of the past have gone. As much as I'd love to spend eight more books exploring the lives of Amara, Nick, Tessa, Vee, and Chloé, our girls (and boy) have, in a sense, grown up and developed bigger, more deadly problems. Maybe it's a bittersweet metaphor for how we all grow up and leave the childish innocence of youth behind. I loved the fuckin' in the first half of this story. Much hot. Very sex. The fight near the end of this chapter could use some work. I had to read through it a few times before I fully understood what each character was doing, which I haven't had to do yet in this series. Granted, the unexpected nature of the fight lends itself toward more whiplashy action, but phrasing a few things differently may clear up some of the confusion I felt on the first read. Vee's continued distrust of Amara still feels justified to me. While it seemed wildly unfair to me that Vee blamed Amara for potentially burning her while fending off Mr. Wellington, I understand that Vee is lashing out at anything Amara does that could possibly be interpreted as hostile. I still have faith that they can work through this, and I know that you'll never do anything to hurt your precious babies. This comment is already pretty long, so I'll post any other thoughts and any potential grammatical errors in a different comment.
AFanofRoses
2024-08-12 21:08:43 +0000 UTC