Book Two Feedback
Added 2025-04-10 17:00:08 +0000 UTCYou may recall that, three or so months ago, I officially released Book One of the Aurelius Archives: Suddenly A Succubus. Moving forward, my goal is to release two books a year, which is roughly the same rate at which I write them! The hope is that whatever I'm writing online is always about two books ahead of what's officially published. Since Book One came out at the end of January, this means I'd love to have Book Two released by the end of July, which is only a few months away.
I'd like to do something new this time. For Book One, I worked with a professional editor, and I also had a very clear idea of what I wanted to change for the official release. I have some ideas for Book Two, but I'd also love to hear from all of you!
As a friendly reminder, Book Two starts with Amara attempting to move on with her life after nearly killing Vee on Halloween. She helps Chloé get her charity started and partners with Tessa to continue investigating the strange magic circles all over campus. Eventually, they discover the cult, but life is complicated when Brandon tries to blackmail Amara. In the end, Vee returns to campus and the group forms a tense alliance to take down the cult.
What aspects of Book Two did you feel really stood out as fantastic? Conversely, were there elements or plot beats that you didn't care for as much, or just felt underdeveloped?
I won't spoil what it is I'm already planning on tweaking, but needless to say, I'm very excited to get to work on the final version of Book Two. I still think the entire last chapter is some of my finest work!
Nyx <3
Comments
Just realized I completely forgot to respond to this! I really like the points you raised about Brandon and Wellington, and honestly there's a good chance they might make it into the final book. I'm not quite at the rewriting phase yet, so anything's possible :P
Nyx Nyghtingale
2025-05-01 15:13:05 +0000 UTC(This will probably end up being a long comment. Consider grabbing some popcorn.) What did I enjoy most about Book 2? The tension between Vee and Amara remains world-class. I can't be mad at Vee; in her mind, she was doing a heroic thing for the good of the world. I can't be mad at Amara; she was thrust into a desperate situation and had to use deadly force to defend herself. Vee is right to be mad and confused and reluctant to work with Amara. Amara is right to feel guilty about what she did, and she's right to reach out to Vee because she needs Vee's help, and because Amara genuinely has nothing to hide from her anymore. I swear I could savor that drama like a rich dessert. I like that Amara developed and discovered uses for her powers, in particular her shapeshifting. Blackmailing / seducing Mr. Luxnor and traumatizing Derek were both actions that not only required creative use of her abilities, but also showed Amara's trend toward using morally-grey methods to get what she wanted (plus, I love that she starts using her fire to cook food! It's so cool that she keeps doing it even after she has control over her flames!). After reading through Book 1, then reading your current work, I can see the gradual journey from Amara the timid young woman to Amara the succubus barely trying to hold it together, and Book 2 does a lot to transition between those two states. It's great how the new conflicts of Book 2 setup the story of Book 3. Without this Book's foundations of planar gates (and Tessa's ability to manipulate them after some study), of Vee's reluctance to trust Amara, and without Amara's persistence and constant rejection to work with Vee, Book 3 wouldn't be possible. While this may say more about Book 3 than Book 2, I feel like the more you can build up in Book 2, the better you'll be for later publications. You mentioned in a Reflection once that you're aware of erotic series falling into the pattern of "what sex act do we still need to cross off the list?" but you're really good at keeping the sex scenes in the series fresh. Sex but it's more transactional, sex but it's with a teacher, sex but Amara tries butt stuff, sex but Amara needs to fucking RAVAGE some cultists. They're all super hot, made even more so to me (and I'm sure to others as well) because the vibe of the sex matches the vibe of the scene it's in. Amara and Nick care for each other, so they establish trust and consent. Amara needs to FUCK UP the cultists, so she uses every tool in her sexy, sexy arsenal to arouse them (and the audience). While the smut isn't the highlight of the series for me, it's always welcome and always very appreciated. This isn't the most insightful commentary, but I'm grateful that Tessa, Vee, and Nick are all integral to the main plot. It would be easy to make this The Amara Show because she's the titular succubus, but Nick is the rock who she bounces ideas off of. Tessa knows how the cultist's planar gates work, and her brash approach to problems contrasts Amara's hesitation. Vee is the justifiably reluctant ringer they need to bring the plan together. Even Chloé offers a way to highlight Amara's continued efforts to be a good person. I don't have a recommended action to take from this point, but the main characters all feel distinct and alive. This isn't exactly a hot take, but all of Chapter 26 is a masterpiece. I planned to write out exactly why I think that in excruciating detail, but it would honestly add about six hundred words to this already too-long comment. Suffice to say, you stuck the landing and earned a full 10 from every judge. There are three elements to the story that I'd change, if possible. 1) When Brandon returns in Chapter 15, his angle seems to be, "Amara, I'm sorry. I offer you my soul." With everything he's done in this series and Tessa's story (blackmail Tessa into teaching him magic, demand he have sole control over the succubus he summons despite the danger), plus everything he does after this interaction (blackmail Amara, get off on the power he thinks he has over her on the night of the ritual), it would make more sense to me if his angle was more selfish and/or scummy. Something like, "I can bring you unsuspecting people whose souls you can take." Something that keeps his own soul / wellbeing intact. 2) I only remember seeing Sebastian Wellington once before the night of the ritual (it was when Amara disguised herself as the Dean to get Vee's tome). I'd prefer to have him involved in the story at least one more time before then. Even if it's something like "he showed up to the Jade Palace to make a donation (and used it as a tax write-off)." If I'm wrong and he showed up more than the once, feel free to disregard this point. 3) Vee spends a lot of time beating herself up about what happened between her and Amara. She should just get over it! Amara clearly said she was sorry! Vee should accept her apology, as well as come to terms with the fact that trauma is super easy to move past!
AFanofRoses
2025-04-19 06:23:21 +0000 UTCI'd like to give this question the thought it deserves, but my schedule is pretty full for the next few days. Once I have more time, I'll let consider the matter thoroughly.
AFanofRoses
2025-04-11 16:06:42 +0000 UTC
