Blood & Chlorophyll Ch. 26 - Reflection

This is a bit of a special moment for me. Technically speaking, Blood & Chlorophyll will be the fourth book that I've written, but in many respects it feels like my first. Why's that? Well, the others are the first three books of Suddenly A Succubus, and those feel more like incredibly lengthy chapters to me.

Blood & Chlorophyll is the first time that I've ended a story. Sure, I do have outlines for a second book, and this might not be the last we've seen of Alicia, Kat, Tab, and Elias. However, if the story ended here, I'd be happy.

As this is going to be a bit of a lengthy Reflection, I'll try to compartmentalize my thoughts as best I can. I'll start with my usual process, going through the chapter in chronological order and sharing my thoughts. Then, once we reach the end, I'll break off and reflect back on the book as a whole.

We start the book with Alicia, celebrating her good mood as everyone prepares to tackle the final boss of the Dungeon. Not only is this a fun inversion to the ending of the last chapter, which was decidedly strange and foreboding, but I also did this purposely as a way to set the stage for the big reveal towards the end of the chapter. More thoughts on that reveal in due time, of course.

Kat fills Alicia in on what happened last night with Roxy, and then everyone checks in before preparing for the delve. Alicia's boundless optimism is on full display here, and she's already looking forward to her ideal future where Roxy moves into the neighborhood after they clear the Dungeon.

For the next section, I allowed myself to skip over all the delving before the boss fight, as we've already spent several chapters exploring those floors, and it didn't feel necessary. It's also a great way to showcase how the group has evolved over the course of the book, as they're able to push much further in with very little trouble.

I'm very happy with the different visuals of the three dungeon floors. The first floor was bright and cheerful, the second was dark and creepy, and the third floor is an embodiment of the theme of the Dungeon: natural death and undeath.

One big advantage of having Alicia be the POV character is that I can really dig into the different ways the Dungeon has been creeping her out. The idea that a petrified tree is essentially as terrifying as a stiff corpse was something I found quite compelling to put in the story, even though it's such a tiny detail. In my head, in combines with Alicia's unease about the strange fungus that's been puppeting everything in the Dungeon, which I've been pointing out pretty consistently but haven't necessarily been giving the party time to reflect on.

I also had some trouble thinking of the boss monster. The first floor had a massive bear, the second had a massive stag with charm abilities, so what would feel like a suitable final boss? I couldn't really think of any real-life creatures that seemed scary enough, and ultimately decided to bring in something fictional.

Introducing the boss was a blast. The slow reveal that its scales perfectly matched the petrified tree bark, and then the reveal that the three snake heads were all connected to a single body. I wanted this final fight to feel big and dramatic, and I think bringing in a more fantastical creature helped accomplish that, especially as it let me continue the theme of "natural-ish creature that's being controlled by fungus."

For the fight itself, I tried to showcase just how well everyone works as a unit. I wanted to give Alicia and Kat chances to show off their skills, since they started the story at such a low level, and I think I accomplished that fairly well.

The other main goal was, of course, to make this fight seem like the hardest one yet. I start by showing everyone in a comfortable groove, and the amp up the stakes by having the boss pull out some acid breath. From here, things continue to grow more desperate, with Alicia and Tab both getting dangerously low on HP. Thankfully, they manage to escape with their lives, and I did my best to make it feel like the final blow was something that everyone in the party contributed to.

Tab does find time to make a crude sex joke, though, which seems to really rile Roxy up. I wonder what her deal is?

Before I skip ahead, however, I take a brief minute to start setting up the next plot point. Tabitha races across the ground, through all the loot, before tucking something into her backpack and presenting the totally-real Dungeon Key.

We then skip a bit of time, giving everyone space to heal, and its finally time to attempt the journey back. Their trek goes surprisingly well, thankfully! I've got a mental image of Roxy racing through the shadows, taking out all the monsters one by one before they even have a chance to attack, but ultimately I didn't stress about showing that too much on the page.

Once we get back to the surface, Roxy asks Kat to go check for monsters while Tab and Alicia reflect on their adventures. As they talk, Kat's music mysteriously stops, which surely doesn't mean anything, right?

Sadly, it kinda does.

Roxy finally reveals her true colors, and we see that she's holding her blade to Kat's throat, after having doused them in holy water. This whole scene took quite a bit of effort to get just right, and I think I nailed the vibe I was looking for. I think chapter 25 made it pretty obvious that Roxy was planning on betraying everyone, but even if it didn't, this moment shines a pretty bright light on her rational last night.

So yes, Roxy was planning to betray them from the start.

I want to take a small pause here and explain the process of bringing Roxy to life, as she actually changed quite a bit over the course of the story.

At first, before any of the Dungeon delving had started, I knew that I would have trouble keeping all the Dungeon stuff interesting. I wanted there to be a character conflict present as well—something I'm much better at writing—as that would give me more to work with rather than just the Dungeon. In the beginning, I intended Roxy to be a much more simplistic character. In my original idea, her entire personality would have been fake, and she would have been a very enthusiastic member of Ashes To Ashes.

This was still my intention when I first started writing her. In her first appearance, she jumps in to save Alicia when they're fighting the Bear mini-boss on the first floor. Earlier, Alicia noticed something strange, but didn't know what, and that was Roxy. She's a high enough level Rogue that she can hide even from Alicia's plant senses, but she wasn't just hiding. She purposely found the mini-boss and lured it closer to the entrance so that it would ambush the party, which then gave her the perfect excuse to jump in and save everyone. This was a very purposeful manipulation tactic on her part to try and seem like a benevolent hero.

We then get her backstory. Watching them throw someone to the Dungeon, trying to leave and start a new life, all of that. Again, this was intended to be entirely a fabrication when I wrote this scene. Roxy had been stalking everyone since they returned from the city, and the idea was that she eavesdropped long enough to put together a fake story about hating Ashes to try and get on everyone's good side.

She even tries to sow discord between the group at times. When she visits Alouette with Kat, she talks about how she would have messed up the romance, as she'd be too paranoid that Alicia didn't truly care for her. This was something she said to try and push a wedge between Alicia and Kat but, crucially, it doesn't work. Later, when she's talking with Alicia, she's about to do something similar, but stops herself at the last minute.

I don't remember exactly when this happened, but the more I thought about Roxy, the more I realized that having her be straight-up evil was just kind of boring. I began looking back on everything I'd already written; her backstory, stealing from the Guild, all that. What if it were all true? After all, the best lies are often packaged in half-truths. However, if her goal was to get everyone to trust her so she could steal the key, that's a scenario that means she doesn't need to lie about anything. She genuinely hates Ashes, and means every word when she complains about them to the party. Even though she came into the story with bad intentions, she was given a chance to genuinely bond with everyone.

Personally, I think this drama is much more interesting. She ends up torn between her ties to Ashes and her newfound feelings towards her friends, and I think that makes her final betrayal all the more heartbreaking. If she were just pure evil, then she's just a jerk and nothing really mattered, which is pretty uninteresting.

Which leads us back to the current moment. Roxy demands the key, and Alicia hands it over, but not before coldly asking Roxy to “Just leave. Leave and never come back.” This is one reason I wanted the final chapter to be told from Alicia's POV; she was always the one that wanted to trust Roxy, and she was the most optimistic about finishing the Dungeon. Therefore, as tragic as it is, she's the one that has the most heartbreaking reaction to the betrayal, which gives me lots of tasty drama.

I also had to write the final fight in such a way that that Roxy's betrayal made sense. Earlier, after they visited the strip club, Kat mentioned that she had an incredibly powerful charm Ability. Kat shared this with the intention of keeping Roxy safe, but it's the reason why Kat was targeted in this scene. After all, in anyone else were being held hostage, all Kat would need to do is look at Roxy and the problem would be over.

Roxy also needed to ensure that no one would follow her after she left the neighborhood, and Kat was the healthiest one.

Another fun fact, but I initially intended Tabitha to be more prominent as a romantic interest. This ended up falling by the wayside, and she ended up more as a very flirty friend that Kat cams with once. However, I specifically chose everyone's names in such a way as to hint that Roxy was untrustworthy from the beginning.

Alicia, Kat, Tab, and Roxy end up being the core four people of the story. Elias is there too, obviously, but he's not in the Dungeon party and he's very obviously just a good friend.

If you ship Alicia and Katrina, their ship name would be AliKat. Shipping Tabitha and Kat would be TabbyKat. Roxy was the only person in the core cast who's name didn't really fit that convention, which was just a bit of fun meta-hinting at her eventual betrayal.

Once Alicia hands over the key, there's a puff of smoke, and we head into the final conflict of the book. Kat's been stabbed, with holy water blades, no less, and they need to scramble to save her life. I'll admit, when I first wrote this scene, I wasn't expecting to take it as far as I did. My initial thought was that Roxy would simply deal enough damage to ensure that no one would chase after her. Once I started writing, however, a little writing devil began to whisper in my ear. Wouldn't it be much more dramatic, and much more heartbreaking, if I made it seem like Kat was about to die? After all, this is the end of the story, and there's no narrative reason that Kat has to survive.

That's how we end up with the current version of the story. Kat seems to accept her fate, and begins muttering her last words to the love of her life while Elias desperately tries to keep her alive. However, quick thinking on Tab's part scores them a healing potion, but did they find it fast enough?

Thankfully, yes. Though I made sure to draw out the moment to make it seem like Kat had died. I apologize for my cruelty there, but I couldn't resist the drama.

From here, I give everyone time to process the events and slowly start to heal. Elias offers up some blood to Kat, while also healing Tabitha, and the four of them embrace as they confront what ultimately happened. Tab explains her suspicions, revealing the swapped key, but also sharing that, in the end, she'd ended up growing fond of Roxy herself.

Even if Roxy's motivations ended up different, this was always the planned ending. I wanted Ashes to have a presence in the story, outside of just vague scaremongering from Tabitha and Kat. Roxy was the proxy, the tangible proof that Ashes is a terrible Guild that will stop at nothing to get what they want, even resorting to blackmail, subterfuge, and espionage. I think their treatment of Roxy, cements them as the real villain of this book, even though we technically never see any of their significant members.

Because of that, I knew I had to end with the party finding a way to get one over on Ashes. Tabitha's suspicion paid off in the end, and even if she doesn't feel like celebrating it, I think it's a wonderfully bittersweet ending for the story.

Kat continues playing for everyone, even singing for the first time in the story, and I'm very happy with my decision to not say what song she was performing there. For some reason, it just feels right to let the characters have a moment that the audience doesn't exactly get all the details on.

Finally, in the very end, we see Alicia asking Kat to move in with her. I knew all along this would be the ending of the story, which has always been about the two of them at its heart. They get a chance to reaffirm their love for each other, and commit to being even bigger parts of each others' lives moving forward.

I got a few comments on Literotica from people who were disappointed by the direction the story went in the latter third. They liked the character drama of Kat and Alicia getting to know each while also finding their place in a world not meant for them, and they found the Dungeon delving a boring, juvenile distraction. Personally, I disagree with that take, but I understand the thought process. In my head, the first third of the book was focused on Kat and Alicia meeting and slowly growing closer until they finally kiss. The middle third is then about them deepening that relationship while preparing to face the Dungeon, and that's where we see a bit more of the wider world. The final third, then, is about Kat and Alicia standing strong against the external forces that threaten them, with Roxy being a stand-on for their main antagonist.

Switching over to larger scale discussions, I always knew this story would be a little risky. I actually had never heard about LitRPGs until I found the Becoming Monsters universe, which only happened because OtterlyMindblowing left a very nice comment on the very first chapter of Suddenly A Succubus. I remember thinking it was a really neat idea, and I quickly learned that the idea was already incredibly common, to the point of being bland and overused.

I started noticing that these types of stories were often disparaged, with people dismissing anything LitRPG as not worth looking at. According to critics, LitRPGs are nothing but bland stories of overpowered protagonists power leveling through a video game system. They're likely going to have some kind of accumulation power that lets them break the system, and they're going to end up with at least one love interest, likely a healer because of gender stereotypes. However, to me, it feels wrong to judge a story based on superficial similarities like video game mechanics. It's essentially just a magic system, right? It was frustrating that people lumped all their hatred for the idea of LitRPGs.

The story that convinced me to write in this universe was I'm Blue, by OtterlyMindblowing. It's about a guy who wishes for a girlfriend, unaware he's holding a magic coin that powers all the wish magic held by another girl who happens to be a Genie. This wish pairs the two of them together, and the book explores how they both learn about each other and deepen their relationship. They eventually learn that the magic barely did anything; the two of them already liked each other, and the wish just kinda sped things up a little.

The story barely uses the video game mechanics of the setting, and it's really just a simply love story. To me, that felt like the perfect example of what could be possible in this setting, and ultimately, it led to the idea that became Blood & Chlorophyll.

I had a bunch of goals when I started writing this story. Back then, I was writing a chapter of SaS every two weeks, and I wanted another project. However, despite already having other ideas for books that had nothing to do with SaS, I didn't want to start one of those. All my other ideas are things I've been thinking about for a while, and I'd spent quite a bit of time more or less hyping them up in my own head. My fear was that, without enough experience, I might not be able to do those ideas justice this early in my writing career.

Wouldn't it be perfect if I had a smaller idea? One that I hadn't already placed on a pedestal, one that would purposely be a bit more chill? Now, there's a version of this train of thought that implies that B&C was a lesser idea, and that is absolutely not true. I had a blast writing this story. What I'm trying to say is that, by being a new idea, and something that existed in someone else's world, there was a degree of separation that made it feel easier to approach.

Plus, once I got the idea of a Vampire facing bloodlust issues who falls for a Dryad without blood, I had to write it. Thankfully, it was immediately obvious that these characters wouldn't make sense in my own setting I use for SaS.

Blood & Chlorophyll gave me an excuse to start writing weekly chapters, which pushed me to double down on my work ethic. It gave me a chance to write something I'd never done before; a simple, straightforward romance. It gave me an opportunity to work with other authors, something I'd never done before! And, very importantly, it gave me a chance to write my own rebuttal to the idea that LitRPGs are somehow a lesser genre of storytelling.

Rather than focusing on someone who can break the system, my characters have entirely normal classes that work without any weird gimmicks. They have pretty standard Races that, while presenting unique problems, aren't the most powerful ones out there. I had a lot of fun fleshing out smaller, more mundane aspects of the world and the system.

Maybe I even managed to convince a few people that LitRPGs are just as worthy a setting as cyberpunk, fantasy, or whatever else you can think of.

One fear I had was that my efforts were inherently at odds. After all, the people who enjoy dungeon delving might not be interested in the 20+ chapters of character drama that comes first. The people who love the character drama might be turned off when the story turns to dungeon delving, much like the aforementioned Literotica comment I discussed above.

I took some big swings, and not all of them landed. I love this story, and it will always hold a special place in my heart, but I'm very much aware that it's nowhere near as popular as Suddenly A Succubus. Still, Blood & Chlorophyll pushed me to better my fight choreography, and it gave me a chance to practice ending a story. It let me get a little meta with my end of chapter dialogues. It gave me a chance to learn more about music, and to share my love of classical guitar with my readers. I honestly didn't expect that many people to actually listen to all the music I picked out, and I was surprised by how many readers went out of their way to listen to all the songs.

Blood & Chlorophyll is a story about love blossoming in unusual places. It's about people coming together despite their differences, perhaps even because of their differences, and fighting for their right to exist.

I leave a little bit of myself in every story I write, but the opposite is true as well. Alicia and Katrina has left their marks on me, and I think I'm a better person because of them.

I hope their silly little adventure brought you just as much joy as it did me.

Nyx ♥