Suddenly A Succubus Ch. 47 - Reflection

All stories must go on, and while I'm ecstatic that I get to show the next step of Chloé's journey here, this chapter was honestly a bit of a challenge to write compared to the previous one. See, in order to make the last chapter feel scattered and disjointed, I heavily altered my writing style. I use lots of little words, I completely skipped out on traditional punctuation, and the entire format of the chapter was incredibly unusual. I stand by this choice, and I still think that chapter is the best thing I've ever written, but that's not the style of the rest of the series.

So, when I sat down to start this chapter, I had to put in quite a bit of effort in order to shake off the mindset I'd put myself into for Chapter 46.

One thing I particularly enjoyed was how I started this chapter. See, in the last chapter, I end with Chloé calling out to Amara, but technically I never say how effectively Chloé manages to get her voice back. In order to continue dancing around the issue, I purposely avoided showing what Amara hears from her perspective, instead only saying that she heard something.

By doing that, I'm able to more effectively build up to the exact moment every gets reunited. Amara runs closer, falls to her knees, and they lace their fingers together while being scared to have hope.

This is absolutely a scene that would be a montage if it were a show or a movie or something, and I did my best to portray that here. It's one of those moments that's so intense it's pretty difficult to actually describe, because it's just a bunch of friends weeping with joy for a significant amount of time.

Once everyone is sober enough to talk, though, I can finally start digging into some details. See, despite spending the entire last chapter with Chloé, in a way we also weren't. We were spending time with Chloé's disjointed memories, her vague ideas about herself, and that's a very different thing from seeing everything from her lucid, put-together new self.

So, is anything different?

I could have taken Chloé in a bunch of different directions. There's a version of the story where, once she manages to manifest in the Lysander Circle, she's completely back. She's not stuck between planes, she's not fighting to be seen anymore, she's just herself again. I had absolutely no idea what my readers were going to assume, so I wanted to play around with their assumptions a little bit and try to gradually tease out what our new status quo is going to be.

This is why, at first, she's simply sitting on the floor and recounting her version of events. I'm really happy I did this, because she wasn't in her normal mind when she experienced everything last chapter, and I thought it was important to see her reflect on her experiences with the benefit of having her memory again.

Then I can start teasing the new, fun bits. She decides to stand up, but all of a sudden she's floating a little bit. I stress this a couple times, then take a small break for Amara and Vee to have a quick aside.

Which actually, I've got a tiny tangent about. In writing (any kind: screen, television, books, etc.) there's a thing I like to call alley-oop lines. I guess you could call them set-up lines but that's not as punchy. Anyways, an alley-oop line is when a character says something specifically to give another character a chance to say the line you really want to write. When this is done poorly, the alley-oop line can often feel stilted and unnatural, something that no normal person would say, but you have to put it there because you want the other character to say the cool line!

Amara raised her voice, calling out to interrupt the other conversation. “Hey, Chloé!”

The other girls stopped talking, and Chloé looked over. “Yeah?”

“I thought you’d be more excited,” Amara said, holding back a smile.

“Excited?” Chloé tilted her head in confusion. “About… almost dying?”

“About having superpowers, silly.”

Personally, I think this happens a little bit between Amara and Chloé. However, even though it's a bit of an awkward exchange, I think it's still in character. Yes, obviously Chloé needs to be oblivious to the reality of her situation in order to say the alley-oop line, but also, the point of this exchange is to demonstrate that she's exactly the type of person to not notice that she's currently floating. Ideally, this exchange serves as a great bit of characterization because it shows that Amara truly knows and understands who Chloé is, and she's able to play around with that knowledge to introduce Chloé to something she's going to get really excited about.

Also, I apologize in advance if giving you the phrase "alley-oop" line means you start seeing it in other properties. Sometimes media analysis be like that.

Back to the Reflection proper, this is where I finally reveal what's going on with Chloé. She's still not 100% human, as now we can see her passing through walls, disappearing, and flying all over the place. She only gets a few minutes in before grows dizzy, flies back to the circle, and complains about gravity.

I've been super excited to bring Chloé back for months, and I've been itching for this chance to give her some unique abilities of her own, but also? I thought of the idea of "gravity is a muscle now" and I've been sitting on it for MONTHS. The things I do for you people, ugh. But, yes, now that Chloé is aware that her powers, she's able to start properly experimenting with them.

I do think this is another fun bit of characterization. Back in Chapter 39, I made of point of showing that she'd documented all of her friends powers, and she's absolutely the type of person that would start analyzing them through a technical lens. Honestly? I truly think that it would be in character for her to describe her abilities with video game language, but I'm purposely not doing that. It takes a very specific type of narrative to pull off a character making constant references to other media, and simply put, I don't want to flanderize Chloé that way.

The point is this little exchange, when Chloé is testing the limits of her powers, is to show the audience the new status quo moving forward. Despite having recovered her memories, and the void no longer haunting her every step, she's still stuck in a pretty similar state to how she was in Chapter 46.

It got a little easier over time, and it honestly feels like something clicked just a moment ago, once I got my memory back. Like, now that I’ve put all the pieces together, holding this form feels a bit easier.

We'll have a chance to explore this more the next time we jump into Chloé's POV, but honestly I'm fine explaining it here too. Just like before she had her memory, she still exists in a strange limbo between Purgatory and Earth. All of her senses are toggle-able, and it takes real effort to bring herself further into our world. Tessa all but confirms this connection when they're talking about the Lysander Circle, and how things are easier for Chloé when she's inside it.

Oooh I found another tangent. Well, Part 2 of a previous tangent.

Remember last Reflection when I ranted about narrative stakes, plot armor, and death in media? The choices I make here are, in some ways, my answer to that conversation. Like I said last time, I think it's silly when death is the only thing writers think to threaten their characters with, especially since there are so many other things you can write about!

Look at Chloé. She's not dead, but now she has an interesting new condition that will make for engaging storytelling in the future. What exactly is she now? She has powers, yes, and that's a thing she's super excited about, but they've got an interesting cost attached to them. What does Chloé's day-to-day life look like from now on? What happens if she over-exerts herself?

If I'd just let Chloé stay "dead," I would've never had the chance to explore all those interesting new situations.

Additionally, I also talked about how stories exist in conversation with their readers. Theoretically, if I've got an avid reader following my work and learning from the way I shape narratives, there's a very good chance they learn some helpful things moving forward. Now, I'm not exactly saying if this is true or not, but it's a potential take away.

It's possible to read this part of Chloé's story and think, "Okay, so character can survive crazy, weird events, and main characters have a certain amount of plot armor. However, even if they don't die, they still might be permanently altered in ways both good and bad."

So what does that takeaway mean? It means that, even if you 100% believe I'm never ever going to kill anyone ever, you still believe that them being in danger matters.

And that's the goal.

This means it still matters when villains show up and threaten everyone's peaceful campus life. It matters when characters get hurt, because you know they might not recover correctly. You believe that not every fight is a guaranteed win.

anyways, back in the story, it's time to drop the bombshell. As Chloé is excitedly ranting about her powers, she lets it slip that she's eager to help stop the Coven, which has everyone else suitably confused. From their perspectives, the Coven has been a little rude, yeah, but certainly not something that needs to be stopped. What is Chloé on about?

Her revelations don't exactly go over well. Especially for poor Amara.

She was already angry. She spent the first few chapters of this book desperately wishing she had someone to punch, someone to hurt as a way to express her anger and grief over losing Chloé. She wanted the Coven to be that target, she was itching for a reason to start swinging, which is why she blew up at Imani in their first conversation.

And now Chloé's lit that fuse again.

This is the moment that Amara looks back at the last three books and demonstrates what exactly she's learned. I'm not going to argue she's learning the right things, but I like to think it's clear why she learned them.

She saved the campus from the cult when she embraced her true potential, fed extra deep on a bunch of cultists, and saved the day. Keep in mind, she's always looked fondly at that night. However, she let Brandon live in an attempt to hold back her worst impulses, and doing so almost got Chloé killed. So, from her perspective, the obvious lesson is to not hesitate last time. Her demonic instincts are correct, she should trust her gut when it's telling her to attack people.

Amara's had a long and winding road to get here, and now it's time to see what happens when the chips are down.

The rest of this chapter, as well as most of the next two chapters coming up, are going to be tense. I'm fully aware that I'll probably have people who disagree with some of the narrative choices I'm exploring, and that thought is a little scary.

There's a very noticeable shift at this point. The Amara we follow for the rest of the chapter is cold, calculating, and distant. We're not in her head as much as we've been over the last 3.5 books, and we don't get to see her reasoning as she executes her plan. We only see her once she's already set up in the cafeteria, plan made, and she's in the middle of beginning it.

How far is she willing to go? I want this little arc to feel chaotic and unpredictable, but ideally it's something that still feels in character for Amara, who's been getting pushed closer and closer to the edge this whole series.

Step 1? She needs more energy if she's going to go up against the Coven, but Nick and Tessa turned her down.

Luckily (or unluckily, depending on your point of view), she happens to have intimate knowledge of a student that finds her attractive AND has a very distinct fantasy about Amara's nature. Amara didn't exactly acquire this knowledge in the best of ways, so it's easy to argue that her actions here are wrong.

I've had a few moments where Amara has committed to the bit earlier in the series. When Brandon had her trapped under the Science Building, she pretended like she was a real demon just impersonating a student. When she confronted Mr. Luxnor with the blackmail tape, she pretended to be a real demon that was powerful enough to toss his eternal soul into hell. When she was tormenting Derek in his dreams, she pretended to be a literal nightmare, and was rewarded handsomely for her efforts.

Other than Halloween, every time she's given in to her demonic urges, the narrative has rewarded her for it.

Some of those moments have often been incredibly enjoyable. I've gotten a bunch of comments from people who love when Amara plays up her demonic visage and commits to acting like a true, evil demon.

The question now, of course, is whether or not she's pretending anymore. She doesn't seem to have any remorse over the actions she takes in this book, which is something that was always present in previous demonic confrontations. She puts a lot of effort into manipulating Ruby, and she seems to be enjoying herself every step of the way. She's mentally expressing frustration when Ruby hesitates, and at the end of the scene, there's not a hint of remorse in her.

I don't really have much to say about the scene with her Ruby other than that. Sex scenes are always pretty straightforward, and I think Amara's edge speaks for itself here.

Our next scene shows Amara very literally on the hunt, flying around town looking for the Coven's base of operations. Again, we have no idea what her plan is, and are forced to simply watch as she continues making very strong decisions. After finding the Coven's manor, she hides herself and jumps into the dreamscape, where she seeks out the same dream she'd visited earlier in the book: Palesa's.

I tried to be very careful with the dialogue in this scene, as Amara is attempting to impersonate Miss Bishop, but has no idea how she normally talks. If you're paying attention, Amara says basically nothing of note the entire time, and is trying to push Palesa to fill in the gaps with her own responses. Of course, this doesn't work very well, and Palesa is clearly a smart person. She figures out the ruse, and Amara is forced to resort to Plan B.

What's Plan B? Well, again, I'm purposely creating distance between us and Amara, so we have no idea.

It certainly seems like Plan B is overwhelming brute force. She prevents Palesa from waking herself up, and they start having a little dream fight. We still have no idea what Amara's plan here, and I'm happy with the vagueness of the scene. Does she think overpowering Palesa will accomplish something? What does she even want?

Her plan seems to get thrown off when Miss Bishop shows up to wreck shop. We, the audience, know that Bishop draws her powers from the Dreamscape, so her being here makes absolute sense. Maybe she detected them something was amiss in Palesa's dream and managed to slip inside?

They have another fight, and Amara certainly seems to be showboating a bit. In the past, I've only had her do that when she's purposely putting on a show, but is that what's happening here?

Well, yes. it turns out Bishop was never here to begin with, Amara engineered the entire fight as a way to weaken Palesa's resolve and gain further control over the dream. I'm honestly very proud of the way I wrote this section, mechanically speaking. I'm not at all condoning Amara's actions (I personally find her completely reprehensible in this chapter), but from a tactical standpoint, I know I was able to trick at least a few of my Beta Readers.

Which brings us to the final stretch of the chapter. Now that Amara is in full control, she's able to perfectly manipulate the dream to create a situation where she can feed on Palesa. Once she does, she reaches deep in an attempt to tire her out, and for the first time, we see hints that she could push further. She doesn't, thankfully, but know we know the possibility exists.

What's worse, she seems convinced that doing so might result in death, and she only turns down this opportunity because she needs Palesa alive

Not good. Bad Amara. Where's the spray bottle full of holy water?

In the end, I'm expecting this to be a tough chapter. I've never written a character purposely doing so many awful things, but I'm hoping that over the last few books I've built up enough trust from my audience.

Pop quiz: Do you remember the very last line of Book One?

"What am I becoming?"

In the larger story of the series, Book One is effectively Chapter One. And, as some of you know, I like using the end of Chapter One as a way to set the stage for the story. In the actual chapter one, Amara's tail appears, telling the audience that we're going to have some fun watching Amara turn more and more into a demon.

Book One, however, ends with a concrete announcement of the main threat of the First Act. What is she becoming? She's clearly got some dark tendencies, but she's also terrified of them. The book ends with a promise that I'm going to spend a bunch of time exploring Amara as a character, showing her wrestle with this demonic part of her as she tries to figure out who, or what, she is.

Is Amara a good person? Is she doomed to become, essentially, a demonic villain in someone else's story?

We can't earnestly appreciate that story unless we know what's at stake. And what do we know about narrative stakes? Death is boring. The real narrative of Suddenly A Succubus is squarely focused on Amara's journey of self-discovery, but if we don't understand the stakes, we can't appreciate any potential victories Amara might score. As such, the Amara we see at the end of Chapter 47 is a warning. We've now seen exactly how cruel and manipulative Amara can be, and we understand how important it is for her not to lose control.

It would be easy to have Amara's powers simply be "At the end of the book she gets a bit angry and fights the bad guy," but then there's no narrative weight to that decision. I want the audience to understand that, if Amara gets more powerful, she runs the risk of completely abandoning her kind, caring personality we met earlier in the series.

In order to craft a story in which the readers what to see Amara succeed, they have to understand what happens when she fails. Right now? She's failing very hard at keeping herself in check, and at ignoring her worst impulses.

So, for those of you who are bristling at Amara's actions, who are begging her to stop, know that I'm right there with you.

Only a few chapters left, y'all. We got this.

Nyx ♥