Devil In The Waters, Book 5, Chapter 1 (complete)

It hurt between her legs when she sat up in bed. She was slow to get to her feet—hands on her knees for support—but once she was up, walking wasn’t affected. No limp, no toddling, no pain. Some tenderness.

She left Josh in bed, walked in the predawn light into the bathroom, closed the door, sat on the toilet with knees pressed together and a hand over her mouth. She relaxed her muscles. The pee-tingle began and soon her bladder knotted, and she felt the tinkle coming. It burned, and she winced her eyes but at least didn’t cry out.

When it was done, she felt a dull pervasive ache throbbing from the interior of her canal and right up inside her, a threadlike tug on the knot in her navel. But she got up, turned and flushed. Brushed her teeth, lifting one foot off the floor, bending until the heel touched her butt. Alternated, doing the other leg. Stretching it out.

Then she was back in the bedroom, coming around Josh’s side of the bed. It might be a little too much to get down and kiss him while he slept, but she did want to.

If you lay it on too thick, it might make you seem suspicious.

But the feeling was genuine. And that gave her an idea.

Now she was padding down the hall and into the kitchen, getting her phone out, laying it on the counter. Putting on toast, boiling a kettle. While last night she had made a secret surreptitious phone call, the one this morning was of a kinder nature. She moved around into the foyer and hid behind the wall and peeped down the hall, dialed Meyer’s number. He answered, and she spoke quietly.

“What are you doing tonight?”

He told her he was doing nothing, and then she asked if he wanted to go out and have some fun with Josh and maybe a couple other people. He said he would like to. Then asked: “Like who else?” She said she didn’t know but she would call Steve, maybe get some of the people from Swanson. Meyer said, “What about that girl Quinn?” It took her a moment to remember who that was, but then he reminded her, saying she was the one with the kid named Harley. Right: the nurse.

She Ooh-la-la’d Meyer and he said, “No, it wasn’t like that.” She said she would be sure Quinn got an invitation when she spoke to Steve. Then the bad news.

“Do you have Sophie with you?”

“Yeah, she’s with me one more day.”

“Shoot—do you think you can get a sitter?”

“You want to go late?”

“I thought we would have some fun. Maybe have some drinks and stay out late, yeah . . .”

He exhaled, thinking about it. Probably thinking this would be his chance with Quinn. “Yeah,” he said, “maybe . . . There’s a family on the street here . . . I’ve never talk to them about watching Soph before . . . Gosh, I never use sitters whenever she’s with me . . .”

She said, “What about Hyun?”

“Yeah,” he said, draggy, still thinking about it, a creaky sound in his throat.

“Is that no good?”

“No, that could work . . . Shoot, though, Hyun won’t be home until after nine, and I’ll already be at work. If I could get Sophie there, Hyun would take her a day early without hesitation.”

“Hyun’s working an overnight?”

“She is.”

“And you need Soph there after nine?—Maybe I could . . .”

“What—you’d take Soph to Hyun?”

“Let me come get her now, I’ll take her out for breakfast. Once Hyun gets home I’ll drop Sophie off.”

“Won’t you be late for work?”

“I will, but my hours are flexible. Plus I gotta go into the city, not the office anyway. I have an appointment at eleven . . .”

***

Shame was the first thing on his mind when he woke. He sat up, rubbing his face before that awful feeling settled on him too heavy, laying in bed looking out at the dismal sky. Best to be up and moving if you wanted to get away from it. But it was impossible to escape completely . . . 

He passed into the bathroom, seeing Kimmy’s spot empty and getting a funny feeling. Like maybe Kimmy couldn’t sleep last night thinking later about all the weird things her husband’d said. Maybe she got up, was looking online for Weird things husbands say and what you should do about it.

He avoided his eyes in the mirror and replayed some of the things he’d asked his wife. Did Devlin have a big cock? . . . That was pretty much what he’d said. Hey, you know how you and I are having sex, and I hate Devlin and I’m really worried about him being in your life, why don’t I bring his dick up right at the worst time? Is that cool with you? You must think a lot of me right now. I know, don’t get too excited. Aw, baby, don’t worry, I’m already yours . . . 

Kimmy had jerked him off and he’d asked his wife if she would say that she had been thinking about Devlin’s huge manhood. And Kimmy was reluctant. Reluctant until he pressed. And then she played along. Sure Josh, I often think about that big dick. The one he humped against me . . . 

But see, there: that was arousing.

Of course she wouldn’t think of Devlin that way. The guy forced himself on her. That wasn’t arousing. Or maybe it was? How well did he know women? But it wasn’t women at play here. It was one woman. Kimmy. Kimmy didn’t like being held down and humped.

But apparently didn’t hate it enough to never work for the man . . . 

He growled now, mad at his own annoying irresoluteness, his inability to settle his thoughts on one idea. The perpetual self-doubt, self-loathing, worry, and angst was killing him. Just let it go . . . 

Or talk to her. As much as it pained him to flash to Kimmy some of his weakness, what had happened last night had worked at stitching the imaginary tears. He’d cracked open his door to let some air in, and Kimmy got a peep into his unkempt room. She was supportive . . . 

Or was it just sympathy?

He tossed his toothbrush into the standup container where it rattled. Wiped his face, looked at his reflection. It was a one time thing. I don’t know what came over me, Kimmy, I just had this weird thing I wanted to hear.

When she’d come back to bed, he let what he’d said go. Put it behind him. And she hadn’t mentioned it either. Best to leave it behind.

Now he was on the prowl and looking for his wife. Passing through the bedroom, going out into the hall. Disappointed to find her in the foyer, ready to head out.

“You’re going in already?”

Kimmy was dressed in a black suit, showered already. He’d slept through it.

It was a grim and gray day out there, with the threat of rain. So over her black suit, she wore a light crinkly black overcoat that came down to her knees. She was shrugging her arms into it, hair tied back in its bun, an entire square piece of plain toast held between her teeth. With one arm shoved through, she waved her fingers at him, and managed to smile around the piece of bread. He came to her, and she shoved her hands out of the sleeves, plucked away the toast, and kissed near his cheek. “Good morning,” she said.

“You sneaking out on me?”

“I’m going to go in early,” she said. “There’s so much I have to do today, and I’d like to get it all done so I can be home at not-so-late an hour.”

Boom. First thing in the morning, first thing out of his wife’s mouth reminds him of Devlin. “You’re not going out after work with Devlin tonight?” . . . Keeping it light, not so accusatory in his tone. But the message itself was clear: I’m still sore about what happened.

Kimmy deflected it, saying, “You’ll be glad to hear there is no Devlin in my life at all today. He’s out in Kingston.” Now she came and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, kissed his other cheek. She said near his ear, “Unless maybe that’s not what you want to hear.”

His stomach flinched. What was that supposed to mean? Was that a reference to his dirty talk last night?

She stepped back, said nothing more of it, and his scalp tingled, his fingers went to pins and needles considering what she said. Was that what she’d meant? Did Kimmy think he liked to hear about her with Devlin? He didn’t. No fucking way he did. Don’t get this twisted, Kimmy.

As she gathered her things, getting her keys and her briefcase, he was thinking now he was sure it was. He was at once offended and yet also aroused. Mad that Kimmy was still thinking about it. But glad she was still thinking about it—and for some reason curious if she was going to inject this into their sex life now.

But wasn’t that a bad thing? What if she got home tonight and they started getting frisky with each other, and she starts whispering bad things about Devlin in his ear. Well, shoot, he would love it. But then wouldn’t she start thinking of Devlin that way? What if you’re just putting this stuff in her head? The first thing she’s going to think about the next time she sees Devlin is the size of his penis. You did that, Josh. That’s on you. You put that in her head. You put it in her head, and there’s no taking it out now.

Shit, Josh, maybe for once maybe you could just enjoy it . . . Have you thought about that? Kimmy’s not exactly trying to escape out of the apartment now, is she? Not so turned off by your weird thoughts that she needs to get away from you this morning. Maybe she’d like to play around a little with some kinky ideas . . . 

One step at a time.

“What do you have to do?”

“This morning? I’ve got a meeting right downtown on Front Street with Border Services at ten-fifteen. But there’s a bunch of stuff I have to do first, so I want to go by the office on my way in. Then in the afternoon it’s—”

He waved her off. “You don’t have to check everything with me,” he said, worried now his theatrics last night would make Kimmy verify everything with him. It would lead to resentment.

“I don’t feel like I’m checking in, Josh,” she said, eyes half-lidded, eyebrows raised calmly. “I’m an open book.”

“Go to work,” he said, “maybe I’ll sleep in.”

She smiled, looked him up and down, from messy bedhead to PJ pants and bare feet. “Calling in sick today?”

“Never,” he said, joined her at the front door. “I’ve got important things going on too, big shot.” He opened the door, pulled her close and kissed her neck.

“See you after work,” she said, tapped his cheek lightly with her piece of toast, one half-moon bit out of the corner now. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he said, and watched her walk to the elevator.

He couldn’t let her think he liked to hear about her and Devlin. Couldn’t bring dirty talk about her and Devlin into their sex life. It would push Kimmy’s thoughts in that direction. Any dirty fantasy he revealed could become license for her to flirt with Devlin at work. And if Kimmy flirted, Devlin could respond. These awful, lusty thoughts he had could hurt Kimmy. He had to stop being selfish . . . 

***

Three driveways down from Meyer’s townhouse, she stared at her phone, thumb hovering and ready to send but still undecided. Do it. But what if there’s something you’re not thinking of?—No, she’ll never mention it to Josh. No way. She hit send.

It’d been almost a month since she’d last talked to Karina, and she wasn’t ready to let the friendship go. Karina was too good a person to not have in her life. She missed her friend. It was the new job that had kept them apart. The new job and, of course, the bad thing she’d been caught doing with Devlin, then the whopper of a lie she’d told her friend. Not so much a lie, though, really . . . she’d told Karina she’d divulged to Josh what had happened at Tiffany’s party while he was passed out and that was mostly true. She’d only left out the worst. Left out the parts Josh would be crushed to hear. And now she was working for Devlin and the sex had happened and was over. She was ready to open her life up again, ready to get back on track.

Kimmy: Long time no talk, sister! I miss you I miss yoga, work is a drag. I’m throwing Josh a surprise get-together tonight and I’d love it if you could make it. Not too many people, Meyer will be there, some of Josh’s friends from work. Josh would love to see you, and so would I. Hope you can make it. Call me or text and I’ll pop you the deets!

Phone back in her raincoat, she pulled forward and nosed into Meyer’s gravel drive, butted up behind his SUV. It had started to mist so she popped her hood up, mounted the steps to his unit and was greeted by Sophie coming out in a hurry in a clear rain slicker. They hugged.

“Hey, you gonna go stay with your mom?”

Sophie said she was, Meyer came out and locked up behind him, saying, “Perfect timing, Kimmy.”

She stood, held Sophie’s hand.

Meyer said, “What’s the special occasion?”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s not Josh’s birthday.”

“Oh,” she laughed, “Ha, no. It’s been a tough month to get used to. I’m not around like I used to be and . . .”

Meyer laughed, said, “You’re too good to that guy.”

“Nah,” she said, “He deserves it.” Then: “I hope it clears up,” looking past the rim of her hood at the greying sky. “I pictured the party on a patio.”

“It’s supposed to clear,” Meyer said, fishing his keys out of his pocket.

They walked down the steps together, Sophie leading her by the hand, the little girl with a good grip.

Daddy said bye to daughter, and Kimmy told him she’d text him later, and they all hustled into their vehicles and closed the doors before they got too wet. Sophie struggled her way into her car seat on her own. It’d been a pain in the ass to get it figured out in the new car this morning, worried Josh would look down and catch her putting it in the car, but she thought she got away with it, just tossing it in the back then getting it sorted when she stopped for coffee.

Sophie brushed back her damp hair, said, “What’s the party for Uncle Josh.”

“Just ‘cause he’s an awesome uncle. It sucks it’s a grown-up party and it’s going to be late. You want to go with Josh and me to see a movie next week?”

She brightened. “Okay . . .”

“Now—where do you want to go for breakfast? My treat . . .”