Devil In The Waters, Book 6, Chapter 7 (part 1)

This was an incredible gamble, and now that it was truly underway she was seized by a strangling unsureness. Most prominent in her mind right now: was this ruse so transparent she would be discovered? Her heart beat drummed against her esophagus. 

Josh emerged into the bright Cayman sunlight of the back deck. They were so far from home, so far from where they lived. Where they really existed.

And seeing Josh so far from her, facing her with profound angst, open and unsuspecting, made her feel so far from who she really is. Or was. How far they’d come in the last few months. How different their lives were. When was it exactly she’d become such an adept liar? And what if she only thought she was adept?

Right now Josh was witnessing her standing next to his fearsome nemesis, and she’d told Josh this was play between a husband and wife, her trying to turn her husband on. Couldn’t Josh see through it? Looking at her right now, seeing her decrepitude, her callous lying, her manipulation. What if the act of standing comfortably next to Devlin, both of their bodies well-revealed, gave confirmation to Josh some fear he’d already suspected? Her attempt at preserving the fraying connection to her husband revealing far too much, exposing herself, her lies and enormity . . . 

What made her even want to pursue something so dangerous? Why not leave this alone, meet with Devlin once a week in his apartment until the excitement of their tryst fizzled, and then let your life return to normal? Some strange erotic urge was driving her forward, heedless of sensible caution, plunging headlong into a murky lubricious mire.

It was a frozen moment, and she feared the longer she stood speechless next to Devlin, the more the realization would occur to her husband. They’ve already been together. So with a spreading smile, she said, “Hey, look who’s finally ready,” and waggled her fingers to Josh. And then, just like that, any worry she had the truth would slap Josh across the face, her husband shared a secret smile with her, knowing what the game was, and coming to her side he took her hand and she gripped his warm palm.

“Got your drink?”

“Right,” he said, let her hand go and moved to the table to retrieve his rum and Coke.

With his back to them, she chanced a look at Devlin. Neither of them showed any expression on their faces. Devlin was the wild card here. What she wanted to do was a mammoth step. One meant to possibly set her and Josh on a path where the sins she’d already committed could be absolved somehow. The biggest problem was that she needed to rely on Devlin. And Devlin had a mind of his own. He had a role to play today and, thankfully, she believed he wanted this role. For that reason, maybe she could trust him to do this without it blowing up in their faces. That thought produced a wavering worry: What if it did blow up in their faces? What if Devlin screwed this up today? It would be like stabbing Josh in the heart. And what would Josh do? He would reel and hurt and likely howl in pain at the terror she’d caused . . . 

A quick shake of her head loosened those thoughts’ grip. If she traveled down that path, she’d likely be the one to wreck things, not Devlin. So as Josh returned with his drink, she took his hand again and kissed his cheek.

Devlin said, “What a cute couple. Holding hands and everything. Josh, you’re one lucky motherfucker.”

She laughed, because she knew—or figured, at least—that was the kind of thing that would rile Josh. But then she flipped it over: “I’m the one that’s lucky.”

Devlin raised his glass and said, “You guys were meant for each other.”

Josh squeezed her hand and agreed. “We were made for each other.”

“You guys been dating since high school?”

“No,” she said. “We were just friends in high school—”

“Well,” Josh said, chest puffing out. “We did share a moment . . .”

“Oh, yeah,” she said, smiling and looking in his eyes. She said to Devlin, “We kissed just before the end of school year in grade eleven.”

Devlin smiled, said, “Who kissed who?”

She frowned, contemplating.

Josh said, “I don’t know. I guess it was mutual,” and looked to her.

Devlin said to Josh, “You were timid?”

The muscle in Josh’s jaw flexed. “Not timid. I couldn’t believe it was going to happen.”

Devlin made a face that said what was on his mind. That if it were him, he would have made it known, that he would’ve sealed the deal. She could see Devlin’s meanness now in the way he dealt with Josh. Could see why Josh would be so bothered by him. She gave Josh’s hand a squeeze, seeking to remind him that they were in this together.

Josh said, “I like the way it turned out.” He held his gaze with Devlin’s. There was something she liked about seeing Josh stand up to Devlin. There was something exciting that she hadn’t expected.

She said, “We didn’t start dating until university.”

“That’s good,” Devlin said, “for you both, I guess.”

Josh sniffed, sensing the inference, and his chin jutted forward. “What does that mean?”

Devlin smiled, then the smile went away as he figured how he would say this. Her heart began to beat faster, worrying that Devlin would take this too far. He said, “Josh, you got a chance to see how terrible it would be without her, and in that time, Kimmy . . .” He shrugged and smiled crooked.

Got to sow her oats.

She avoided his line of thought, but said, “Honestly, it just gave me a chance to study.”

Devlin raise an eyebrow. “You didn’t date anyone before Josh.”

“No, I did—”

“We both did,” Josh said.

And that made her stomach twitch. She hadn’t anticipated being bothered by Josh proudly stating that he’d been with girls before her. She squeezed his hand, and when he looked, she frowned at him. Josh said, “What the heck, what are we doing standing on the patio? Weren’t we going swimming?”

“Boy,” Devlin said, “you guys really want me out of here.”

She laughed first to cover anything shitty that Josh might say.

Josh said, “It’s not that,” and checked his watch but wasn’t wearing one.

Devlin looked at him.

Josh said, “Let’s just go swimming,” and gestured a hand to the path that led from the patio to the walkway.

Devlin wouldn’t follow Josh’s instruction and instead sipped his whiskey, waited, then finished it off. He set the empty glass on the table.

Josh said, “You want another?”

Devlin said, “No, I know you want to get things going.”

“No,” Josh said. “Let me get you another.”

“I’m kidding, Josh,” Devlin said, putting up his hands like Josh was being foolish. “I don’t want to have more than one. It’s the middle of the day.” They looked at each other, Josh and Devlin, and she watched Josh’s mouth move around. Josh was trying to parse the insult in there, and she could see a glimmer of it: I don’t have a drinking problem. Not like you. . . . I heard what you did at the party. Got piss drunk and passed out. And if Devlin were to look her way . . . And all Josh thinks is I pinned you in the grass and dry humped you. Why don’t we tell him the truth? . . . 

“Josh,” she said, “let’s go freshen our drinks.”

Josh said, “Yeah, okay. Let me.”

“I’ll come in with you.”

“No, no worries. I’ll just be a second. You guys go to the pool.”

“No, we’ll wait for you.”

“I’ll just be a second,” he said again, “I’ll be right behind you,” and he took her glass and headed back to the sliding glass door. She and Devlin watched him go into the house.

She waited a long beat, making sure Josh wasn’t spying on her from inside the villa. Without looking at Devlin, she said, “So far, so good.”