Devil in the Waters, Book 8, Chapter 7

Kimmy considered something, a sly look on her face, eyes off to the side. She regarded him. “What would that look like?”

“What would what look like?”

“If we were going to be kinky.”

He corrected her. “Kinkier.”

They both laughed, squinting and cocking their heads like they were sizing up one another.

“Okay, kinkier,” Kimmy agreed. “What would it look like?”

“What does it look like to you? You’re the one saying we’re going to be kinky.”

“Kinkier.”

“Yes, kinkier.”

“So, you’re saying it’s up to me to decide?”

He cupped her cheek and thumb-stroked her chin. “It’s for both of us to decide.”

Kimmy leaned her head against his palm. “Don’t be shy, okay? You can tell me. You can trust me. I want to do this. . . . But not too far, right? I want to turn you on but I don’t want to involve Devlin too much. He is my boss.”

“Agreed,” he said.

Kimmy kissed the heel of his thumb. “Let’s talk about it then. What can we do?”

“I don’t even know what to say.”

“You had lots to say in Cayman.”

“You told me to keep it there.”

“I know.”

Was it enough? Was Cayman enough or did he want more? No—he wanted more. That was for sure. Should they go for more, that was the real question.

Kimmy said, “What about Hyun?”

“What about her?”

“Me and Hyun, a little girl-on-girl, would that turn you on?”

He broke out in an explosive laugh, head going back in the pillows. Kimmy cackled along with him, snuggling up against him.

“Seriously, Josh. What do you want?”

He stroked a hand on her back. “Why the hell would you bring Hyun into this?” He could barely utter the question intelligibly, still chuckling too hard.

“What, guys don’t like that?”

“No.” He was adamant. Then: “I mean, not like never. I . . . I never thought of that. Not Hyun. What’s wrong with you?”

“You only think of me with guys?”

“I don’t think of that either. I just . . .”

“Only Devlin?”

“No, that’s not it. I don’t know.”

“Find your words, baby,” she said and patted his cheek.

“I can’t even put it into words, Kimmy. really, I can’t.”

“Yeah, you can. You’re afraid to.”

“Is that what you think?”

“That’s what I know. You’re running from what you want—”

“Hey, Kimmy . . . I’m not running.”

“Maybe you’re afraid of it, or maybe you’re afraid I’ll be afraid of it. I think you don’t like the things you want. We can stop, Josh.”

He hadn’t anticipated the psychiatric evaluation. And he didn’t like it. But he didn’t like it because she was fucking hitting the bullseye, wasn’t she?

“I just don’t know, Kimmy.”

“We had fun in Cayman. I know you want to be kinky—kinkier—but we can stop or we can keep going. I’m willing to do either one, and if you want to keep going I want to make it safe. We can travel at 40k an hour, seatbelts on and crash helmets. You don’t have to tell me what you want. I’m not pushing. But I know up here”—she tapped his temple—“there’s a whole battle being waged. I’m telling you what you want to know: I’m up for it. To some extent. When you’re ready, I’ll be here and ready too. You have to ask yourself some questions and I want you to be dead honest with yourself. When you’re ready, you let me know.”

“Like right now?”

“No, not right now.” She chuckled. “But don’t take forever. I think everything’s lined up right now and if it becomes misaligned, I’m not sure if this is the kind of thing that can endure. I don’t want to be a jerk, but, you know, like, this is a lot and I’m into it, but it’s not my thing. I’m doing this for you. If you don’t really want to do it, then we shouldn’t.”

“Do what?”

“Josh, I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.”

Fuck. What did she mean? Would she do something with Devlin? Did he want that? No. Did she want it? Was she using his kink to trick him into her sleeping with Devlin? No, that wasn’t true either. She already said she didn’t want to go too far. Already said don’t forget Devlin’s my boss. She didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize this new job that she enjoyed. But then again, Devlin would fuck her in a heartbeat if she winked at him. Devlin would like her more as an employee if he got to fuck her. But Kimmy wouldn’t like that. And Kimmy would definitely think that would jeopardize her job.

He growled and thumped a fist on the bed.

“Hey,” Kimmy said. “What the hell’s going on with you?”

“I don’t even know, Kimmy. I don’t know what I want.”

Kimmy had no more to say and lay her cheek on his shoulder like they would sleep in a little this way. Her breath felt nice on his skin.

What kind of man doesn’t know all the kinky shit he wants to do with his woman when she says let’s do kinky shit. Why was he so embarrassed to ask for the things he wanted. Stupid question. Because it was too weird. And because he worried it wasn’t even his idea. Worried it was Devlin’s idea implanted into his bourbon-hazed mind. Also worried the kink he’d been secretly entertaining was not something you could walk away from once you tried it. It changed things. It’s not like his kink was toys and whips and leather and spanking paddles. The only regret after using those things and not liking it was the waste of money. They weren’t products you could return to the store.

No, Kimmy knew some of the truth and it was him who was afraid of more. Afraid that there was more.

The things they did in Cayman were a tease. They were exhilarating things, wild and provocative. But he’d be crazy to think they weren’t a prelude to further kink. And that ultimate thing, the kink’s end poit was Kimmy sleeping with Devlin.

That was a fucking no-go. No fucking way. Even caressing the outer rim of that poisonous idea filled his blood with its rotten tang, turned his stomach sour and made him mad. He shook his head on the pillow, his mood flipping one-eighty.

Kimmy whispered, “What?”

“What do you think Devlin thought,” he said, “you and I having sex while he was there?”

She shrugged. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

“You made sex noises he could hear.”

“So?”

“Isn’t it weird he might know what you sound like when you have sex? He’s your boss.”

She reared her head back to study him through narrowed eyes. “I did that for you.”

“I’m not mad.”

She lay her head back down. “You better not be. Of course I know that’s weird. How do you think I feel?”

“Okay, okay.”

“I did that so Devlin knows who my man is. I did that to make you feel good. To make sure your nemesis knows I get it good.”

“Get it good?”

She looked up again, smiling now. “You give it to me good, Josh,” she said, slinking against him, eyes narrowed to sultry slits. He rolled to his back and she got chest to chest with him, face over his.

“I do. I know I do.”

“And I also did it to turn you on. Letting Devlin know what I sound like when I’m getting it good was for you. Not for Devlin. I don’t know what works for you and what doesn’t. I was pretty sure that would work for you. Devlin knows my sex sounds.”

“Look at you. Look how bold you are. You’re so . . . confident now. I love it.”

“I think I love it, too. Do you think he’s thought about that sound since then?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe?” She pouted with comical disappointment.

“Probably why he’s afraid to show up to work this week. Afraid he’ll pop a rod when he sees you.”

“That’d be something.”

The way she said it made him think of Kimmy desiring to see Devlin’s arousal. And despite that noxious stream of anger in his blood he grew hard.

Kimmy detected his erection, then lay the inside of her thigh over it, the two of them laying in bed now like that famous picture of John Lennon and Yoko Ono—but he was Yoko.

“Maybe it’s the battle in your head that turns you on,” Kimmy said.

He chuckled. Then the more he thought of it, the longer his chuckle lasted, Kimmy’s knee bouncing on his belly with his laughter. It got her chuckling too, and she hugged his head.

“What’s so funny.”

“That’s it,” he said, and a certain elation lifted his spirit. “I think that’s it, Kimmy. I like the torture.”

“Ah,” she said, “the birth of every super villain in those movies you watch.”

“How the hell did I become the bad guy? I’m the hero.”

“You’re my hero,” she said and bit his earlobe.

He wriggled away and got on his side, the two of them face to face.

Kimmy said, “Well, then: What do you want me to do?”

“I guess torture me,” he said.

She patted his cheek harder and harder till he had to squint. Then she smoothed her palm on his neck. “I don’t want to torture you, Josh. I want to—”

He opened his eyes, saw Kimmy had an idea. “What?”

She bit her lower lip, hesitating, then said, “What if I talk about what I saw?”

He frowned. “What did you see?”

She made a face. “You know . . .”

“His . . .? Talk to him about it?”

Kimmy nodded, expression serious. Then the thought of what they were saying brightened a stupid smile on her face. She chuckled and hid away from him.

He shoveled his hand between her and the bedding to make her look his way again. Kimmy’s cheeks had gone rosy. “Tell me what you’re saying.”

“Why?” she studied his face and seemed to make a judgment on what he thought. “You like that idea?”

He was frozen a moment. “Yeah, I think I do. Is that okay, can you do that?”

“He’s the one who got undressed in front of me. How should I bring it up? What do you want me to say?”

“You tell me how you’d do it.”

Kimmy’s eyes shifted aside, devious. He loved the little smile on her perfect lips. Loved that the two of them could conspire together something so weird and dirty that was just for them. He’d never felt closer to her. All his shields were lowering and the more receptive she became, the safer he felt despite the raw exposure. His cock pounded between his legs at full hardness again. When Kimmy saw it she laughed and put her hand around it. Didn’t jerk, just held it while she imagined how she would bring up to Devlin she’d seen his huge penis. Would she tell Devlin she liked it? Fuck, the idea got him throbbing in his wife’s grip.

Kimmy noticed, chuckled, and stroked. “Okay, I think we’re on the right track. Kind of a shaky start but it looks like we got your motor running.”

“I hate that I like this. That’s the secret,” he admitted.

“Okay,” Kimmy said. “I can work with that.”