Devil in the Waters, Book 8, Chapter 16

Kimmy pulled her skirt down to mid-thigh, sat up, and scooted to the edge of the bed. Josh hated her enervated gait heading to the closet. Defeated. As she flicked on the closet light, he pulled the bedding around his nakedness and said, “Do you blame me?”

Kimmy rested her hands on the dresser top and looked over at him. “No, Josh, not at all.”

“I feel like I’m to blame,” he said.

“I’m a big girl and I make my own decisions,” she said, slipping off her jacket and putting it on a hanger.

He said, “Yeah, but I was the one who made you have to decide.”

“No, that’s not true.” Kimmy faced away from him and undid all the buttons on her shirt. She shrugged it off and threw it in the laundry hamper, now topless. She paused again, like she was thinking. She said, “It wasn’t entirely for you.”

It puzzled him, and he asked her what she meant. She unzipped her skirt and let it fall to the floor. He watched her beautiful body as she stooped, picked up the skirt and tossed it in the hamper as well. She touched between her legs, testing the flow of his wetness from her. She snatched clean pajamas, held them under her arm and flicked off the light. It was a simple act, but one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen.

“Who else was it for, Kimmy?”

She touched the tip of her tongue to the corner of her mouth and rolled her eyes up to the ceiling, hand on one hip, hip jutted out. “Who do you think?”

“Devlin?”

Kimmy shook her head at him, an awkward smile tucked to one side. “What’s the matter with you?” She went in the bathroom and closed the door behind her. He heard the toilet lid flip up and the sound of her peeing.

“Oh,” he said to himself. “You.” He called out louder so she could hear: “You?”

Kimmy flushed the toilet. She brushed her teeth, did some cleaning, and when she came out, she wore pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt. She crawled up the bottom of the bed toward him.

He said it again, “You?”

“Is that bad?”

“No, that’s not what I meant. What do you mean it was for you?”

“Not me, Josh,” she said. “Not me only. Us. I did it for us.”

“You did it for me.”

“I did for us, Josh. You don’t think I enjoy this?”

“I was more flattered when I thought you were doing it just for me.”

“Well, then it would be your fault. Is that what you want?”

“See, you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad at all, Josh. I’m just at a loss. What the hell is tomorrow going to be like now? If Devlin comes into the Toronto office, what do I say? What does he say? What do I say after whatever it is he says?”

“It won’t be a big deal. I’m telling you, what he did in his apartment he’s probably done in front of other girls hundreds of times.”

“He won’t forget though.”

“But it’s probably not a big deal to him, Kimmy.”

“What will he think of you then, Josh? Your wife flashed her nipple at him while he showed off his cock.”

“Fuck,” Josh said, his stomach turning over. He lay a hand over it and hunched forward. A nauseous wave came up his back, thinking about what had happened tonight. Thinking about what Kimmy saw.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“I don’t feel so great.”

Kimmy rubbed her hand on his back. After a long moment, she said, “I’m not mad at you, Josh. I’m not mad at me and I’m not mad at Devlin. Like I said, I’m a big girl and I make my own decisions.”

“If there’s anybody I know that could think their way out of this, it’s you,” he murmured.

“Right?” she said, her tone more positive.

He stared at the pattern on the bedding, and that nauseous feeling didn’t leave his stomach. He said, “You saw Devlin get hard.”

She said nothing, but he could tell she nodded.

“I can’t believe it really happened.”

“Now we’ve got one for our memory bank. As soon as I get over this icky feeling about what I did, maybe we can enjoy it better.”

“You’re going to be fine at work.”

“Devlin is going to persist. He’ll think I’m into him.”

“You can resist him.”

She chuckled. “I know I can resist him.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, thinking now of Kimmy with her shirt open, baring a secret part of her, opening a window of possibilities to Devlin Stone. Devlin taking his dick out because he wants to fuck Kimmy. And now they were on the path for that to happen. But that could never happen. That was something he couldn’t recover from. But the thought of it brought his deflated cock back to life. It grew hard. He hid the erection away so Kimmy couldn’t see, and said, “What did it look like?”

Kimmy breathed for a little while but didn’t answer. Then softly, “You mean his penis?”

“You watched it get hard. What was it like?”

“Really huge, Josh. Weird. Way too big.”

H chewed his lower lip. “Did you . . . like it?”

Kimmy sighed. “What am I supposed to say?”

He reeled from that answer. She was supposed to say no. I hate his big gross cock. I hate him. But what she just said wasn’t that. “You did like it,” he said.

“No, I didn’t.”

“You can say you did if you did.”

“I don’t know what you want from me, Josh.”

“Just tell me the truth,” he said, his neck creaking to the left so he could spy her. She gave him a compassionate look, her lips tucked inward.

She said, “It’s . . . I mean, yeah.”

“Yeah, you like it?”

Now she was perturbed. She ran a hand through her hair. She looked away. “Yeah, I liked it.”

“Good,” Josh said, nodding. The gorge rose from his stomach into his throat. “Good,” he said again.

“Where are you going?”

“Bathroom,” he said, dragging the quilt along with him so she couldn’t see his bare behind. He closed himself in the bathroom and flipped up the toilet seat and kneeled where Kimmy just peed. Elbows on the seat, he hung his head over the toilet. His stomach still swirled, but nothing came up. He yawned and looked up at the ceiling, wanting his stomach to turn over so he wouldn’t feel so fucking sick. After a minute, he did it himself, sticking his finger down his throat and tickling the back until he hurled up everything he had at lunch with Devlin and dinner alone. His erection faded. He blew his nose, flushed the toilet and brushed his teeth. He fished out old pajamas from the hamper so he wouldn’t have to cross naked where she would see him. She’d seen a huge penis tonight that she liked. Maybe she didn’t like the guy it was attached to, but come on, the guy was handsome, and rich, and apparently smart. And he had a massive dick that Kimmy liked.

When he came out of the bathroom, Kimmy was lying in bed with her back toward the center. He slipped in behind her, cuddled to her back and tucked an arm across her chest. She held onto his thumb.

Josh said, “Can you play the rest now?”

“That’s all there was, Josh. I told you.” He sighed. He was too embarrassed to ask to play it again from the beginning. The recording did awful things to his brain and his body, but his sexual psyche responded. The reality of what happened tonight was dark and provocative, but should never have transpired.

He had to be the savior here, had to be strong for her sake and support her. He said, “I’m glad at least that you got something out of it, that . . . that it’s not all me.”

“It’s not all you, baby.” She squeezed his thumb with three gentle pulses. “Turning you on turns me on. Even when I’m not here in bed with you.”

“You’re the best,” he said and kissed the back of her ear.

“Should we tell him?

He said, “Tell him what?”

“That we were playing a game, and that I did all this on the recording for you.”

“No, don’t do that.”

Kimmy shook her head in a way that made him think it wasn’t the answer she wanted to hear. “Maybe like a little or something.”

“Tell him what?”

“That you and I can be kinky sometimes, and this one got away from us. But that’s all. No details.”

“He’s not going to back down or stop now that he knows this isn’t a bad thing. It’s an excuse for him to be bad. Every time I see him now, he’s going to try something. And if I tell him to stop, he will, but he’ll laugh it off like it’s all a big joke.”

“We’ll deal with it. And I know you can handle him. He needs you.”

Kimmy sighed. “Yeah, he does. Thank God.”

“Put him in his place if you have to. If there’s anyone that can, it’s you.”

Kimmy chuckled, and he hugged her. She said, “What was the grift he ran on you? About humiliation or something. That psychobabble he talks.”

“Oh, just . . . just dumb stuff about how humiliation is a lesson and shit like that.”

“Why were you talking about humiliation?”

He kissed the back of her ear again. “He blames Amy for all the stuff at the party and the texting.”

“Yeah, he told me that, too. Do you think he’s right?”

“I don’t know, Kimmy. I really don’t care anymore. If it was Amy, who gives a shit. She lives in London and she’s creepy. Did she taunt me? Maybe. And if it was Devlin who did it, well, that’s what Devlin does. Mean shit like that. I think things have changed, either way. There are no more texts and I’m happy with the way things worked out. I like where I’m at now.”

Kimmy quarter-faced him, smirking. “So humiliation really is a gift?”

He laughed and squeezed her. “Shit, maybe Devlin’s right. . . . No, I’m not letting them humiliate me.”

“Good, baby,” she said, squeezing his thumb again. “You really like where you are?”

He thought about it, knowing without a doubt that he did, but wanting to find the right words for her, to put her mind at ease. “I’ve never been happier, Kimmy. I’ve never felt better about my life and what we’re doing together. I’ve never felt closer to you.”

Kimmy hugged his arm tight and said, “I’m glad, Josh. I think you’re right.”

He said, “And I think this is just the beginning.”