[Smite Happens] 1 - This Isn't My Shift

(Author's Notes: "Smite Happens" is my new story about Emery, a psychopath transmigrated to a fantasy world as the saint/paladin of a new re

(Author's Notes: "Smite Happens" is my new story about Emery, a psychopath transmigrated to a fantasy world as the saint/paladin of a new religion. To stop her from being a menace to society, the god of this new religion restricted her from harming others unless they wounded her first. And to make that unlikely, the god also made Emery tanky. Shenanigans ensue. Think of Emery as the more outgoing and unhinged cousin of Erind. There are also some light litrpg and progression elements so that we can reach a wider audience.

This is just the alpha version of the story. I appreciate your feedback on them as well as your ideas. I'll open a separate chat for this here on Patreon, and you can also talk about it on Discord. We'll stock chapters here on Patreon and release this to the public in 3-4 months. This story will be added to the benefits of current tiers. Don't worry, the REND release rate will be maintained. If things go well, Smite Happens will grow, and we can direct new readers to REND and vice-versa.)

The yellowing canvas covering this wooden wagon definitely wasn’t the walls of Bite & Lite, the convenience store I was working at. Unless they did some insane remodeling—you could never tell what nonsense the head office would think of next.

Peering out the end of the wagon as it rattled and wobbled over an uneven road, I saw that I definitely wasn’t in the train station where Bite & Lite was located. Instead of the bright red Krazy Wings store across Bite & Lite that was my usual view, I saw a dirt path flanked by rows of towering trees.

Neither did I recognize the people in the wagon with me. Two men and a woman. They looked to be around in their late forties or fifties.

The woman beside me and the man directly across her wore simple clothes with sewn patches here and there. A bit dirty in places. In contrast, the bearded man sitting in front of me wore robes so white he could be in a laundry detergent commercial. A necklace that ended in a silver hand rested on his chest, the only contrasting color against the blinding white. His skin was pale and youthful, unlike the tanned and harried look of the other two people.

None of them was Harriet, the meek, fresh grad who was my usual shift partner. They didn’t look like any of our regular customers either.

Only one conclusion came to me—I was dreaming.

Which was weird. Hadn’t I already woken up for the day?  

“A wonderful day, isn’t it?” said the detergent endorser, gesturing at the forest outside. “Calm your hearts, for the Silver-Gloved Lady guides our path with her hand.”

Was that English? Didn’t sound like it, but I understood it. Might just be some weird language my dreaming brain cooked up.

“It’s a mere day’s ride to Belldale.” The detergent endorser held up a finger. “By this time on the morrow, we’ll enter the wooden walls of the town. The Silver Order should’ve arrived there by then. They’ll ensure that Emery reaches the capital.”

Emery… I couldn’t recall the last time someone mentioned my name in a dream.

That was me, Emery Callaway—goddess of Bite & Lite, Klein Station branch. Day shift. By my will and mood, I ruined or brightened the morning of dozens of people daily, especially those heading to work or school. Unlike most people working in customer service, I enjoyed my job very much. It was my only outlet for my… quirks… in this stuffy society.

“But that is not to say that we won’t be safe while traveling,” continued the detergent endorser. “I have my trusted men accompanying us. Furthermore, only a handful were made aware of the divine gift of your daughter. Even the Knights of the Silver Order do not know yet, though they may suspect the nature of their assignment. I assure you that we are safe.”

By ‘daughter’, did this guy mean me? I was the daughter of these other two people? They didn’t resemble my real parents, other than the hair color.

What was going on here? My dreams rarely had a plot develop before I started… killing… people. It was only in dreams that I was allowed to do it without hassling my actual life. Some story for a dream was interesting, I guess. I couldn’t recall the last time I had a dream in an oldish setting.

“Can’t help but worry, Reverend,” said the guy who was supposed to be my father. His wavy red hair was a stringy mess atop his gaunt face.

“Ah, don’t call me Reverend, Brother Lorwin. I’ve told you many times yesterday that I’m yet to earn the stone ring. And, yes, we address each other as brothers, for that is what we all are under the hand of the Silver-Gloved Lady. Call me Brother Melphor, please.”

Lorwin gave his wife, my mother in this dreamland, a worried look. He stammered to the priestly user of good detergent, “Bu-but… we don’t follow the…”

“It’s of no consequence that you don’t follow the Silver-Gloved Lady,” said Melphor, patting Lorwin’s shoulders. “In our lands, everyone is guaranteed the right to freely choose the deity they wish to worship. Or… none. That is also allowed. We aren’t the Thanaturgist Theocracy, mind you. Here’s an idea—worship the deity who Bestowed your daughter with a Boon in gratitude for changing your lives.”

Wow, the story was getting really interesting. So much different from my usual dreams where I’d bash the first person I’d meet. Maybe that new method of lucid dreaming I had researched was taking effect now, making my dreams more vivid and realistic.

This really was pretty realistic. I could feel my butt ache from the stupid bouncing of the wagon. The air feels so fresh, too, very different from the stale air inside the convenience store or the polluted air of the city. Chirping birds. Leaves rustling in the wind.

Heck yeah, this was great lucid dreaming!

Lorwin nodded, exhaling in relief. “Yes, we’ll do just that, Brother Melphor. I must say that we’re not devout people. Life’s too difficult out here that we don’t have the time or means to go to the big cities.”

“You will be given assistance by the Confederated Churches,” said Melphor. “Families of the Chosen Bestowed are rewarded for raising a child worthy to be blessed by the heavens without undertaking a deity’s quest. Once your daughter’s Boon is confirmed in Lotharal, we’ll send the reward.”

I’m getting exchanged for money? I wanted to ask the question aloud, but my voice didn’t come out.

I tried to speak again. Nothing. Damn, it was one of those times I was aware that I was dreaming, but couldn’t control my actions. I thought I had practiced lucid dreaming enough already. Come to think of it, I hadn’t talked to anyone in my dreams. I’d just proceed to the main business of letting loose. Guess I’d just have to enjoy what was going on until I could move my body.

I must be having this dream because of the fantasy book that Harriet lent me last week. It’d be fun to be in a world of gods and powers and stuff. I’d have more opportunities to be myself if adventurers could just wander around and do their thing, with no centralized government policing them. Actually, I could be the bandit attacking the heroes.

One could only dream of such freedom. And I was dreaming it now! Hahaha.

Annoying that I couldn’t laugh out loud.

“Rever—erm, Brother Melphor?” asked Lorwin’s wife. “Do you have the orb with those emerald phantoms inside with you? If possible, maybe you can… I don’t want to be imposing…”

“The veloyce? I do, yes. Do you want me to check your daughter’s attributes again? Are you, perhaps, doubtful of my earlier assessment that she has a Boon?”

“Not doubtful, no! I dare not. But I want to assure my heart. I don’t want us to be branded liars if it turns out she isn’t Bestowed.”

“If there’s any mistake, it is on my head.” Melphor took out a crystal ball thingy from inside his robes. Its cloudy surface obscured glowing green eels swimming inside. This must be the ‘veloyce’ he mentioned. My brain was making shit up in my dream. “At any rate,” Melphor said, “let us test her again so you’ll see the proof.”

“Do I place my hand on it again?” I asked.

Well, not exactly me. My dream self spoke those words without my control. I wanted to try taking over, but it might make me ‘too awake’ that I’d break this dream. So far, I was enjoying it. Just go with the flow.

“Please,” said Melphor, presenting the orb.

I lightly covered its surface with my hand. It glowed, filling the wagon with a green hue. My fake parents and I gasped as strange symbols emerged out of the orb and floated up into the air, arranging themselves into a list of sorts. These weren’t letters of the English alphabet, but I could read them with some difficulty.

Emery Pyrebraid|Human
---------------------------------

Divine Bestowals:
(unknown)

Aspects:
Acuity: 2
Prowess: 2
Constitution: 2+1
Attunement: 1
Revocation: 1

Elemental Attunement:
Vitality: 3%

Sternial Skills:
(none)

It looks like stats in a game… I play a couple of games on my phone during the quiet times of the store, and one of them was an RPG with things like Strength, Agility, and other attributes for the character to build up. I wasn’t good at that game or any game. Only a pastime. Funny how it was bleeding into my dream.  

And what was up with Pyrebraid? Must be my fantasy surname because of my red hair that looked like it was aflame. Sounded cooler than Callaway.

Come to think of it, this was the first time I could read in a dream. The brain’s language-processing part was less active when someone was asleep, so most people dreaming couldn’t process words and letters. How odd.

“That unknown right there.” I pointed up at it before the symbols dissipated into shimmering powders that the veloyce sucked up. “Is it truly not a mistake? Maybe the veloyce is broken?”

“To be candid, that had crossed my mind,” Melphor said. “Well-maintained my veloyce may be, I had my runic artificers check it after yesterday’s test. Everything’s in order. You, dear lady, have a Boon. Two possibilities why it appears as ‘unknown’. Likely, this Boon hadn’t been imprinted in the orb’s memory. There are deities we don’t have access to. The unlikely explanation is that a new deity has made itself known to our world through you.

“Either way, the fact that your Constitution aspect has an external rank is the manifestation of this Boon. Possibly, the meager attunement to Inner Vitality magic as well. It’s rare for anyone without any connection to magic, such as yourself, living in your small village, to have any attunement. The rank in revocation is also a minor mystery; most people will have none.”

“What would happen if it’s a new god?” Lorwin asked.

“I… cannot say. It’s been more than a century since the Council of Hierophants declared the descent of a new deity. An upheaval is what—”

“I hope it’s wrong,” blurted my dream self. An odd sensation permeated my mind.

I hated my parents for giving me away. Wow, what a dramatic conflict. Was this resentment I felt? I couldn’t be certain because I didn’t think I’d ever felt resentment before. I doubted if I ever cared about anybody enough to resent them wronging me.

“Emery, dearest…” My dream mother stroked my hair as tears welled in my eyes.

What the hell? Actual tears of sadness? This was definitely a dream. I’ve been sad before, but never to the point that I cried. Life was life. No point taking it personally. And if I cried, it was to manipulate situations to my advantage.

“I-I don’t want this,” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks. I wanted to smack my dream self for being such a wuss. Why was I even dreaming about this? This was a nightmare!

“This is the best for you,” Lorwin said, leaning over to cup my trembling hands. “Your mother and I love you very much, and we’ve decided that—”

“I want to stay in the village. Please… We don’t need the money.”

“We’re not selling you off, Emery; don’t ever think that. It’s not safe. Word will get around that you’re a Chosen Bestowed, and people, bad people, will come to take you. We can’t protect you with hoes and plows.”

“Once we know which deity has blessed you,” said Melphor, “you can bring your parents to the shrine. It’ll all work out. You won’t be separated from them forever.”

I hesitantly nodded. “Ye-yes…”

As the conversation died down, and I remained trapped in my dream body, unable to control my actions, a question returned to me—hadn’t I already woken up for the day?

I shouldn’t be asleep now… right?

I couldn’t recall returning home earlier, and I never slept if I wasn’t on my bed. Rummaging through my memories, I replayed the events of the day to check if this was supposed to be nighttime. I arrived at work on time. Harriet arrived ten minutes late. The weekday morning went as it always did, with a bunch of people coming into the store to buy their breakfast before diving into rush hour.

Most people didn’t like working in customer service, but I did. I could meet a ton of people and impact their lives.

My shift went by without much issue.

I remembered a guy in a business suit who cut the line and demanded that I serve him first because he was running late for a meeting. I hadn’t seen him before, which meant that Klein Station wasn’t his usual route. The fact that he was in a hurry meant that he couldn’t stay long in the store to berate me. And so, I ‘accidentally’ spilled coffee on him. I aimed for his dark pants so the stain wouldn’t be obvious; I was measured when meting out penalties. As I predicted, he stormed out of the store with no coffee and wet pants to catch the train.

It wasn’t all punishments. I blessed a college student with very pronounced eye bags with two extra chicken nuggets. She was very polite despite lacking sleep and being plagued by a headache, judging by the ibuprofen she bought. She perked up when she noticed my boon.

I wasn’t so bad. Everything was balanced in my domain. That said, sometimes I could be moody, just like the gods of most pantheons of various cultures. I didn’t feel like a little girl should be happy earlier, so I pretended that the soft serve machine was broken.

And after that… what happened? I couldn’t recall taking a break for lunch. Harriet and I would take turns to eat. Did we do that earlier?

There was something at the back of my mind that wriggled, but I couldn’t quite pull it out. So annoying! I wanted to dig my brain and—

Shouts from the outside jolted everyone in the wagon.

“An attack! There’s an attack from the east!”

“Protect the wagon!” Thundering hooves and clanging metal followed.

“Lady’s Glove!” Melphor exclaimed as he put his hands together as if in prayer. An object glowed under his robes. “There should be no bandits in these parts.”

My father pulled out a long knife, muttering curses. My mother hugged me as I started to tremble. She mumbled some words, but I could only hear my pounding heart. I was also freezing up. This was insane! I’d never felt this way before. Was this an actual nightmare?

“I’ll protect us,” said Melphor. A glowing green bubble formed around his hands. It began to expand.

But I didn’t get to see what it was supposed to do because an arrow shot through the side of the wagon, hit the back of Melphor’s head, and exited his left eye socket.

Okay, that’s pretty cool.