40 for 40, Chapter 9: Recalibrating

Chapter 9 of 15 of my latest weight gain/stuck story: 40 for 40.

CHAPTER 10: RECALIBRATING

Marion wasn’t one to quit something she’d started. But she knew she couldn’t keep going the way she’d been going. Maybe just 10 more pounds. Spread out over four months. Then she’d have her 40 pound goal without going overboard. 

It would take some recalibrating. Stuffing herself nonstop became very normal, very quickly. She wasn’t sure how to keep eating in such a way that she would still gain a little, very slowly. She wasn’t even sure if that kind of precision was even possible, but she knew she had to cut back. 

She didn’t expect to feel so hungry all the time. She still allowed herself a pastry in the morning in the afternoon to keep herself from fainting. How long would it take for the synopsis between her brain and stomach to dial back? Filling the gaps with fruit did little to satiate her belly’s demands for chocolate. 

Scaling back left her tired and distracted all day and all night. Dinner was the only meal she allowed herself seconds of, leaving her merely content. 

By the end of the week she could still button her slacks, so despite the constant hunger at least she held back the tide. 

Relieved that she wouldn’t have to go clothes shopping yet again, she decided she could gently increase her food intake the following week. She wanted to find a balance where she could keep her new wardrobe and not be attacked by hunger all day.

If Roger noticed she was slowing down, he wasn’t letting on. He was still wildly affectionate, especially towards her belly. Marion figured it would take a while for the novelty of her fresh 30 pounds to wear off. 

She was still getting used to her new body and how to navigate it through a seemingly smaller world. Before her plan, the only time her size really called attention to itself was when she was clothing shopping, or in her bathing suit with her thinner friends at the beach. But now it felt like she’d crossed some sort of threshold. Everything and everywhere felt smaller now, the shower, the bath, chairs, closets, pantries, turnstiles, the spaces between spaces. She found it more difficult to make her way through crowded restaurants and cluttered shops. 

It was completely different from her experience of pregnancy though. Her pregnant belly was enormous and round, but firm, her skin pulled taut like a drum around the kid growing inside her. But this new fat belly, while as enormous and round, was soft, squishy, pliable. While she would protect her pregnant belly from bumping into things or getting squashed, she routinely squashed her fat belly to get through somewhere or into something. 

Even as she noticed the world closing in around her larger size, at nearly 300 pounds, she expected more drama. 300 pounds used to seem like such an incredible number. But now that it was in front of her, it seemed completely natural. 

This relaxed state of acceptance brought with it another loosening of her scaled back restrictions. She started to allow herself the odd sweet at work, a pick-me-up. During the ramp up of her plan she devoted an entire desk drawer to chocolates. Empty now for a few weeks, she allowed herself to cautiously restock her supply. 

This creep backwards continued in other aspects of her eating habits as well. She began to allow herself seconds at lunch, thirds at dinner. She allowed herself to feel full during the week and stuffed on weekends. 

By the end of month two, she was back to the height of her indulgences. 

And it showed.