Episode 644: Bayonetta

Stuart: I hear you. I hear you all. Stu, you bellow, Bayonetta is not retro, go to jail. First of all, no jail on the planet could hold me. Second, yes it is. It is, and there’s nothing you can do about it. Bayonetta is retro, as proven by this indisputable fact: there is now an episode of Retronauts about it. Checkmate. And in order to git ‘r done as effectively as possible, I got me the biggest Bayonetta fan I know, Seumidh MacDonald. Joining myself – fresh off my first playthrough – we (wicked) weave our perspectives into what I hope is an interesting and edifying examination of this extraordinary video game into your ear-space.

It took me a long time and four separate versions of the game to get through the original Bayonetta, but I got there in the end. As I’ve no doubt mentioned on the podcast before, when a game is as acclaimed as Bayonetta I feel compelled to keep checking it out even if I find myself bouncing off the thing pretty darned hard, as I did with Platinum’s now-iconic witch-’em-up, as I do to this day with Breath of the Wild and every single RTS ever made. What I discovered, eventually, was a game that simultaneously did and didn’t live up to its reputation, though in both instances this was a positive. Its position as a bombastic, thoroughly entertaining and vivacious action game? Deserved, with big sexy bells on. On the other hand, though, it is a game I see held up as intimidating, inaccessible. It was this reputation that put me off it the first few times I had a crack at the thing, because I really don’t like games where the high skill ceiling is basically the entire point. Games that consistently grade you. After a long, difficult fight that I just barely survived, it doesn’t feel good to be told you sucked. And I stand by that, but also generally have come to reject the notion that Bayonetta can’t reasonably be played by anyone. Even outside of the fact that Easy Automatic exists for those who just can’t with the dodge offset, it’s still a deceptively playable game that benefits from exploration to a much greater extent than I initially believed, way back on PS3, 360 or even Wii U. Yeah, it took the Switch port to bring me fully on board – being able to play Bayonetta in bed helps (stop sniggering at the back) – but on board I am, and I am ready to defend Bayonetta’s honour, yes I am.

I recognise, though, that my position is still very much not the much more informed and enthusiastic one that Seumidh brings to the table, so hopefully this twofer works for you and it will satisfy your lust for Bayonetta. Okay, that one was totally intentional and I will allow the sniggering.

Edits by Greg Leahy; art by Nick Wanserski

• 12:15 - The Gates of Hell | Mysterious Destiny

• 22:45 - Riders of the Light

• 31:13 - After Burner (Infinite Climax Mix)

• 38:43 - Red & Black | Battle for the Umbra Throne

• 48:29 - Fly Me to the Moon (Climax Mix)

• 59:53 - Climactic Battle

• 1:10:54 - Let's Hit the Climax!

• 1:25:01 - One of a Kind

• Closing - Let's Dance, Boys! (3rd Climax Mix)