Do y’all want me to rewrite chapter 9
Added 2024-10-26 13:58:17 +0000 UTCI wrote it not necessarily in the best state of mind. Still is at my best but I’m better. Would y’all like me to do so?
Comments
Eh, I say just re-write the parts you feel iffy about. No need to redo the whole chapter unless you feel like you have to.
ShinySpiritomb
2024-10-26 23:10:36 +0000 UTCIt's like the si was randomly replaced with another with a similar but somehow more asshole personality.
ThisIsNotCool
2024-10-26 21:32:51 +0000 UTCFeels a bit weird compared to previous chapters. Way more references and not for the better.
ThisIsNotCool
2024-10-26 21:32:20 +0000 UTCDepends on what you want. The guilt vs indifference rant went a bit long, but overall his action still fit the idea of him (of a mercurial detached overpower SI) . If you want to rewrite and trim it a bit, keep this beautiful line please. “Anyway, I was an asshole but a beautiful one and thus unburdened by the stupid angst that tried to worm itself into my brain”
ModNsparksPhilo22
2024-10-26 19:52:20 +0000 UTCDo what you think is best
GoT779
2024-10-26 15:34:10 +0000 UTCI honestly thought I did in it. I think there was a line where he said maybe I’m more affected than I thought by all of this
allen 1996
2024-10-26 14:55:38 +0000 UTCI would probably say rewrite it? The description is really jarring, and detracts quite a bit from the aloof perspective, and a constantly slew of references. I’d say consider it, because you’re on a crossroads of either the story reads like this now, or it goes back to more similar to how it was before. I appreciated how the story was previously, with a detached aloof person granted incredible powers, grappling with how he can’t be fully apathetic, whereas the latest chapter reads more like a generic power fantasy, which is a shame. That being said, this is just my opinion and critique, if you like the chapter as is, feel free to keep it that way. I would just suggest look internally, reread the chapter a bit, and consider how it’s going to shape things moving forward, especially with the altered perspective from the MC
Skrubstar
2024-10-26 14:28:05 +0000 UTCnah is k
Cirex123
2024-10-26 14:22:35 +0000 UTCYeah you can rewrite it if you want but don't feel the need to rewrite if you like it. Maybe just place an author note to address it.
rockus4
2024-10-26 14:12:48 +0000 UTCI wouldn't say rewrite it, but you should have your character acknowledge that the event effected him more than he thought.
Jonathan Shaw
2024-10-26 14:04:59 +0000 UTC
