Fake Chapter 19: April Fools' Day

Personally I like April Fools' Day jokes that are so over-the-top they're unbelievable, but in the past I've found it can confuse or upset people. I wanted to post this as if it was a real chapter with no explanation, but decided against it.

Instead I'll just show it to you patrons. I'm not sure if this is so dumb it's funny or so dumb it's just dumb, but I spent a whole chunk of time writing it, so I figured you guys should get to see it.

If anybody doesn't like this, please just keep in mind that I've been writing for about 12 hours straight and my brain can't brain anymore. Hopefully someone will get a smile out of it.

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The poison in his body made Rick feel weak, but he forced himself to enter the Underground arena anyway. He wouldn't give up, no matter what. All the other people in the arena had generation rates of 100,000 lucrim or even more, but he got ready to fight them anyway.

Suddenly as soon as the battle started, the nearest warriors sent massive blasts of power directly toward Rick. They would tear his body apart into shreds of flesh, but he stood tall and faced them bravely. Even faced with impossible odds, he was too brave and noble to bow down to anyone.

At that moment, Lady Lysanderoth from the Purple Moon Clan happened to be descending from the Divine Heavenly Realm. When she saw how brave and handsome Rick was, she paused time and came down to stare at him. Her alabaster skin glowed in the light, especially her DD breasts.

Suddenly Rick wasn't stopped in time anymore. Everything else was, but he wasn't. He stared around in surprise until he saw Lady Lysanderoth, who nodded graciously to him.

"Noble Richard, I have been touched by your bravery. I have never seen the like, even in the Divine Heavenly Realm. To face overwhelming odds and stand against them nonetheless is the mark of a true hero."

"Uh, thanks," Rick said humbly. "Is it really that rare?"

"I have seen one quadrillion million googolplex dozen people across countless realms, and it turns out most of them are bums." Lady Lysanderoth shook her head sadly. "For your courage, I will bless you with the True Heart of Lucrim."

"Thanks," Rick said humbly.

Lady Lysanderoth reached forward and touched Rick's chest with her alabaster fingers. He felt a warmth growing inside him as his true power awakened inside him. Though he wanted her to keep touching him forever, soon after she pulled away.

"Go and live a life worthy of a hero," Lady Lysanderoth said.

"Will I ever see you again?" Rick asked humbly.

One crystalline tear rolled down Lady Lysanderoth's alabaster cheek and into her DD cleavage. "I am sorry, Richard, but it cannot be... my father will..." She could say no more. Though she knew that her love for this brave and humble young man would only grow, her father and the other members of the Purple Moon Clan would never smile upon their love. Because it was forbidden for people from Earth and people from the Divine Heavenly Realm to ever be in a relationship.

With that, Lady Lysanderoth ascended back to the Divine Heavenly Realm, with only one last longing look backward.

Time stopped freezing and suddenly Rick was being blasted again. Yet he knew that something had changed within himself. He suddenly dodged to the side, grasping the blasts of power in his hands and redirecting them toward his opponents. Every one of the blasts that had been intended for him instead blew away one of his opponents. Several of them flew into the crowds, vaporizing spectators.

Rick landed back on his feet and smirked humbly. Everyone in the crowds was flabbergasted that a man with only 15,000 lucrim could defeat warriors who were so much more powerful with only his brilliant wit.

Afterward, Rick went up to the owner and demanded his reward for the fight. He received 12 billion dollars.

On his way out, Henry suddenly ran up to Rick. "That was amazing!" Henry shouted. "I can't believe you did that, man, how did you think of it?"

"Oh, it was nothing," Rick said humbly. "I just realized that if I redirected their power against each other, I could defeat them even though I don't have as much lucrim."

"That's genius!" Henry shouted.

Suddenly, Rick had an idea. He walked into a nearby store and purchased a bottle of 1,000,000,000 lucrim philosopher's elixir with a fraction of the money he had received. As Henry watched in flabbergasted awe, Rick drew the lucrim into himself to increase his power.

Instead of simply making himself stronger, Rick increased the density of his lucrim with a special lucrim technique he had just invented. Now each individual lucrim was worth 2x a normal lucrim. He did it again and again until each lucrim was worth 64x a normal lucrim. Suddenly his growth would become 64x more potent. The power of it made him glow with power.

"That was amazing, man!" Henry shouted. "What did you do?"

"I realized that if I increased the density of my lucrim, it would become more powerful. It wouldn't work if I had trained more, but because I was weak until now, I can get started with far stronger lucrim than a normal person."

"That's fucking amazing! Nobody else has ever thought of that before!"

Rick looked at his phone and saw that his generation rate was now 300,000 lucrim, which was actually 18,600,000 because his lucrim were 64x more dense than normal peoples. He smirked and decided that it was time to head to work and teach his boss a thing or two.

When Rick suddenly entered the gym, Jimmy looked up at them and glowered. "You're late to work, boy! I oughtta beat you for this!"

"You're not going to insult me anymore!" Rick said. Jimmy immediately flushed and drew himself up, enraged that one of his employees would humiliate him by talking back to him.

"That's it! I'm going to-"

He didn't get a chance to finish his sentence, because Rick activated his new lucrim and suddenly slapped his boss across the face. The slap was so powerful that everyone in the gym with less than 50,000 lucrim died instantly.

Jimmy staggered back, flabbergasted that Rick could have struck him so easily. Rick sneered at him and pulled off his badge, dropping it onto the floor.

"This is the last day I work here - I quit!"

Jimmy just stared at him, flabbergasted that Rick would quit.

Lisa was watching from the corner of the gym and was amazed at how different Rick seemed than before. She hurried up to him while blushing and threw herself against him, rubbing her DD breasts against his arm. "Oh, Rick, you're so manly and alpha!"

"Haha yeah I guess," Rick said humbly.

"Way to go, man!" shouted Henry, who was also there.

On his way out of the gym, Rick suddenly ran into Mike, who glared at him. "Hey, what the fuck, did you just run into me? You deserve to die for that!"

Mike let out a roar and his lucrim burst up around him, so powerful that the concrete broke apart and a dozen bystanders were vaporized. Lisa shrank back with a feminine gasp of fear and Henry shouted in fear, but Rick simply stepped forward confidently.

Suddenly Rick called on the True Heart of Lucrim and his power exploded exponentially, so powerful that two dozen bystanders were vaporized. Mike yelled and tried to punch him, but Rick's lucrim were so dense that he just broke his hand. Rick laughed and reached out, creating a lucrim hook and stabbing it into Mike's soul, dragging him to hell.

Suddenly everything was back to normal and all the bystanders were flabbergasted. "That was amazing, man!" Henry shouted.

"Oh, Rick, that was so wonderful!" Lisa wrapped her arms around him from behind, pressing her DDD breasts into his back. Rick chuckled and pulled away from her.

"That wasn't bad, but I've seen some flaws in my technique. I should condense my lucrim down to 128x normal density next."

"You're a fucking genius man!" Henry shouted. "I bet you could even heal your sister with that much!"

"Oh, right. Guess I'd better go do that."

Rick flew back to his apartment with Lisa riding on his back, pressing her DDDD breasts against him. Henry ran along underneath, flabbergasted that Rick had mastered the power of flight so quickly.

When he arrived he found his sister sickly and pale, her illness causing her trouble again. Rick frowned and stared down at her soul, using his new powers to look deeper than before. He realized that the problem was that she didn't have enough lucrim.

It took a great sacrifice, but Rick pulled out some of his lucrim and poured it into his sister. It reduced him all the way to 126x normal lucrim density, but it managed to fix her problem. The overflow from the intensity of his power killed several hundred people in the apartment complex.

Melissa blinked in surprise, realizing that she was healed. She sat up slowly, putting a hand to her DD chest in surprise. "Wow, Rick, I feel better... and wow, you feel so much stronger! It was amazing how you healed me like that..."

At this point Lisa stepped in and kissed him, pressing her DDDDD breasts against his chest.

"That was fucking amazing, man!" Henry shouted as he ran in the door.

"Haha yeah," Rick said humbly. "Guess it just goes to show... there's no cultivation like street cultivation!"

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This has been a very stupid diversion. XD Actually, that was 1500 words I really should have put into writing New Game Minus #3, haha. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it and that your gast is flabbered. Real chapter tomorrow like usual.